Let's Read: Yuk It Up with Urkel

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Vastarien: Dec 20, 2012; Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.; Buglord

e: i'm totally watching the Stevil Halloween episodes right now.

Vastarien fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Jan 16, 2016

# ? Jan 16, 2016 04:57

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:05

Egoist: Aug 19, 2010; Love myself today
Let you go today; Lipstick Apathy

Drad_Bert posted:

"Did you enjoy your lobster," asked Carl . "It was d-liscious," said his wife Harriette. As they do every year on their anniversary Carl took his wife Harriette out to a fancy French restaurant and got her drunk on champagne. Carl had looked forward to this for a long time since it was one day he was guaranteed sex. "So Harriette, are you ready to do it?," Carl said with a smile. "Come on let's go to the bedroom," Harriette said.

Harriette trudged over to the bedroom stripped naked, laid on the bed, and spread her legs. "Honey, before you gently caress me how about a little foreplay, eat me out or something." said Harriette. "Ha-ha," laughed Carl, "Don't be ridiculous. Do you know who invented eating pussy? The French, that's who. And I am not about to eat pussy like some human being Frenchman. Now get ready for what's coming."

Carl undressed slowly. Harriette watched in disgust as her overweight husband's man bosoms and belly came into sight. Carl then took of his pants exposing his 3 � inch wiener. "Yup, you married one sexy man Harriette," said Carl admiring his body which he kept shaved hairless below the neck. Carl climbed up getting into position. He then thrust forward several times missing Harriette's beaver and hitting her thigh. "Ohhhhh Gawwwwwd!," Carl shouted in ecstasy as he blew his load all over Harriette's leg.

After that Carl rolled off of Harriette and quickly fell asleep. Harriette cleaned her self up and went to the kitchen. She was so frustrated that she grabbed a bottle of Wild Turkey from the liquor cabinet and started taking shots. She was fed up with Carls gross appearance, poor performance in bed, and most of all his small penis. She had had enough it was there she decided she was going to have an affair.

The next day was just another day as usual. Harriette cooked burgers and coleslaw for Carl and then sent him off to work . After she had finished cleaning up she grabbed her keys to drive to the grocery store. About half way to the store however Harriette realized she didn't have her purse so she turned back. She didn't make any noise as she entered the house and when she looked in the den what she saw surprised her.

It was Urkel, and he was jacking off to a porno. Harriette's jaw dropped from what she saw. Urkel's cock must have been ten inches long and thick too. He was just sitting there jacking off to a scene of a guy having sex with Siamese twins. Harriette was instantly wet and without thinking her hand moved up her skirt and she was rubbing her pussy. Urkel tensed up and ejaculated all over the couch. The sight was to much for Harriette and she came like a banshee screaming for dear life. Then she fainted.

"What's going on Harriette?," asked Urkel. Harrietteslowly opened her eyes seeing Urkel standing over her naked. She began to blush from embarrassment and arousal. "I am so sorry. It's just I have never seen a cock like that in my life." '"Really," smirked Mike, " Carl doesn't do it for you in bed." '"God no Carl is terrible. He has a teeny tiny dick, won't eat pussy, and can't last 5 seconds without cumming, and and�,"Harriettebegan to cry. "That's awful. I recon we oughta teach Carl a lesson." said Urkel. "Really" said Harriette. "Really" Urkel said.

That evening Carl came walking in through the door when out of nowhere someone threw a sack over his head. "Wha-ha," Carl shouted. He was in complete shock. The unseen assailant then punched Carl in the stomach hard sending him to the ground. He tried to reach for the sack that was blinding him but some one looped a rope around his neck and started strangling him. Carl blacked out.

When Carl came to he was naked, tied to a chair, and still had a sack over his head. He heard snickering. "What the gently caress is going on here. You assholes better let me go or I am going to kill you," shouted Carl. Urkel walked over and pulled the sack off Carl's head. "Oh my God!," Carl said stunned. He could not believe what he saw; his wife was naked and making out with Waldo who was also naked and Urkel was standing there laughing also naked. '"Harriette how could you," Carl said shocked. Harriette answered him, "Just shut the gently caress you worthless tird. I have needs that have never been satisfied and now you can watch how real men with normal sized penises and urethras gently caress." "But Harriette," Carl began to blubber.

Instantly a smack caught him in the side of the head. Urkel said, "You don't do or say anything unless you are told or I'll hurt you bad. Do you understand?" Carl nodded his head yes. "Okay Waldo why don't you show this bitch what you've got," laughed Urkel. "With pleasure," said Waldo . Harriette grabbed Waldo 's dick and started rubbing it to erection. "Oh my," Harriette was amazed by it's size it was even longer than Urkel's and as wide as her forearm. His scrotum looked like a deflated football. "How big is it?" "Fifteen inches and I'm going to make you take it all."

Waldo started loving Harriette like an animal. He hosed her hard with long gently caress strokes loving his cock in her all the way to the balls. 'I watched on in horror for what seemed like an eternity as Harriette had one screaming orgasm after another. 'After about two hours of loving and more orgasms than Carl could count Waldo let out a grunt and filled Harriette with his nut juice. When he pulled out Carl could see what looked like gallons of semen leaking from his wife cooze.

Urkel started untighing Carl. "All right Carl. I hope your hungry," he laughed. "Oh God! No, you want me to eat Harriette's oval office with all that cum in it. No loving way!" Carl made his way for the door but Waldo punched him in the side of the head making him fall to the ground. "I warned you," said Urkel. Waldo held Carl down while Urkel walked over and began rummaging through Harriette's closet. He found what he was looking for; a pin cushion. Urkel pulled a long thin needle from the pin cushion. "Carl I think its about time I did something about you're narrow urethra," said Urkel. "You wouldn't," begged Carl. Harriette chimed in, "Do it Urkel. This is payback for years of crappy narrow urethra sex." Carl started screaming at the top of his lungs trying to escape Waldo 's grip but it was no use, he was to weak compared to the younger man. Urkel slowly inserted the long needle down Carls urethra blood started coming out as the needle hit the other end. Carl gave up struggling and just started crying. "Funny thing about these needles. They're very brittle. If you try to bend them they just snap," said Urkel. Carl looked on in horror as Urkel reached down and grabbed his dick. Urkel began bending Carl's dick with the needle still in it and sure enough the needle broke into shards piercing the insides of Carl's miniscule digit. Carl screamed again and passed out from the pain.

When Carl came to Waldo , Urkel, and Harriette were all doubled over in laughter and his genitals were soaked in his own blood. "So bitch are you ready to clean up Butthead splooge," asked Harriette. "Yes. I'll do anything just please don't hurt me any more." said Carl. Carl crawled up between Jenny's legs and began cleaning her pussy with his mouth. 'It was disgusting. There must have been cups of semen in her oval office and it smelled and tasted so bad I thought I might puke. 'Some one entered the room from behind Carl just as he was finished.

"Knock Knock." It was Lt. Murtaugh . "Hiya Carl. Guess what? I'm going to be you're videographer," said Lt. Murtaugh as he began setting up a camera on a tripod. '"This is so cool now we are both cuckolds Carl." 'Lt. Murtaugh looked around. "Aw heck. Did I miss the feeding?" "Yah you did. But don't worry I have an idea. Lt. Murtaugh start filming. Urkel, Waldo hold Carl down." ordered Harriette. The men all did as they were told. Harriettethen squatted over Carl's face and started grunting. '"Open your mouth Carl" said Harriette. Carl did as he was told. A moment later a big brown turd began coming out of Harriette's anus and slid right into Carl's mouth. Carl thought about spitting it out but didn't because he knew what the consequences would be. Carl was already chewing and swallowing the poo poo before Harriettewas all the way done. Carl thought he was done when Harriette announced, "after all that fudge you must be thirsty Carl how about some fresh squeezed lemonade to wash it down." Harriettebegan pissing into Carl's mouth making him drink all her urine.

After Harriette finished Waldo and Urkel took turns first making GBS threads in and then pissing in Carl's mouth. Carl had so much human feces and urine in him that his stomach was stretched out like he had just eaten thanksgiving dinner. Carl rolled over and vomited some of it back up on the floor. "Oh my god Carl that's loving disgusting. Were you raised in a barn." said Harriette. "I'm sorry" said Carl. "Well start cleaning it up gently caress head," shouted Waldo . Carl got down on his knees and started eating the vomited poo poo back up. It took all his strength not to vomit again. Urkel took Carl and tied him back up to the chair.

"I don't know about you guys but all this excitement has me horny," said Urkel as he started to get undressed. "Hey Waldo how about we do a three way this time you take Harriette's butt ill take her poon." Harriette said in a sultry voice, "Ooo, that sounds hot. I never let Carl put his wieney in my butt." Lt. Murtaugh shouted in, "this'll look great on video. How about I add some background music?" "Good idea do it," said Urkel. Lt. Murtaugh went over to the radio and switched on Trivisano. Carl started shouting, "Oh God no. Not Trivisano. I hate Trivisano. He sucks. I only like the Maxwell show." Urkel said, "shut up Carl or I'll cut your cock off," as he began loving Harriette's oval office. "I don't care this show sucks cut my dick off if you want but please change it to the Maxwell show." 'Everyone ignored Carl as he started foaming at the mouth. 'The camera focused in on Harriettegetting pounded at both ends. Harriettewas in ecstasy Urkel and Waldo were loving in unison. "It's all the empty headed loser Democrats that keep electing cigarette thieves like Art Modell to public office." That was all Harriettehad to hear her pussy and anus both started convulsing as she had the most powerful orgasm of her life. That got Urkel and Waldo going and they both started cumming as well filling both her holes.

"Wingo," said Lt. Murtaugh, "that was awesome. We should put this on utube." "Good idea," said Waldo . Carl was incredibly embarrassed. Lt. Murtaugh showed the video to everyone at Highland high, Waldo showed the video to Todds gang, and the video became number one on you tube. 'It was viewed so many times Leno even showed it on The Tonight Show. Irregardless of all the embarrassment caused by the incident Carl was happy because he knew he had learned a valuable lesson.

The End