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I could max out the character limit with this topic OP, but, ill do it later tonight
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Jan 29, 2016 21:12
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:10 |
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I used to work with this fat bitch who was both fat AND a bitch and who was really, really proud of this lovely jewellery she wore all over her body (this was confirmed by Doug, our none-too-bright stock boy who had a, let's say, "fling" with her after a work Christmas party one year) One fateful day, she was serving a customer and needless to say, all of her jewellery that she was so proud of turned out to be made out of gallium and melted due to her body heat. The customer thought she was a fat T-1000 from the future and started crying and ran away. Fat bitch co-worker was standing on an aluminium walkway over a bottomless pit at the time and the gallium instantly weakened the walkway causing it to break and she fell through the floor and starved to death while falling through the pit endlessly. Her crazy prepper husband tried to sue but he wasn't wearing pants (diaper fetishist) so we just laughed him out of the store
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Jan 29, 2016 21:39
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Coworker had a seizure from doing too much cocaine.
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Jan 29, 2016 21:47
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I worked at a scummy video store with this manager who had to be retarded. She used to be a stripper but time had done its work and those days were long gone. That wasn't the worst part: she was loud, took breaks every five minutes to smoke, and stole both money and toilet paper from the store. Whatever. All of the theft, however, has the owner bring in a new manager to see what's up. Stripper Manager eventually gets found out and fired. So she takes it badly, crying and screaming, and walks out to her car and just sits there. Twenty minutes later her mom's car pulls up. Two minutes later, the Stripper Manager's mom is yelling at the new manager, accusing him of being gay, a liberal, on drugs, a racist, a Mormon(?), and finally a pedophile. We never see the Stripper Manager again. Another odd woman that worked there had a horrible accident that left her with brain damage: she had a fight with her boyfriend, walked out of his truck as he was taking off from a dead stop and hit her head on the curb. She lost her ability to smell and taste. While this was a life change, we all thought it was remarkable that she managed to stay lucid and tried to comfort her that it could have been much worse. Unfortunately, we were wrong: within the first week back she had caused an incident when she would start putting back tapes and loudly telling everybody the story of how she lost her virginity, and how her clit swelled and turned purple and she was unable to walk and how horrible it was. She kinda figured then that the brain damage was a bit more severe than anybody thought. Turns out that she started having some severe emotional issues after that and started getting people fired. By the time the video store was finally shut down, she was the manager, and business had died down because she had started dating an older guy that worked there, and ended up hiring and firing people due to whatever the chemicals in her brain told her that day. She had also having problems bathing and vivid hallucinations where she would talk to people that simply weren't there.
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Jan 29, 2016 21:54
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I worked at a food establishment and everyone on that shift (about 10 people) was Latino except me. Some customer yells at the manager, I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE BORN IN THIS COUNTRY (meaning someone white). The funny thing is that super-white me was the only person there who wasn't a U.S. citizen.
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Jan 29, 2016 22:21
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One of the most embarrassing: I worked for an eye glass company, there was a guy there named TJ. TJ was a grade A idiot from start to finish. TJ was terribly self unaware, he thought everyone just loved him despite the fact that everyone hated him. He had a bro crush on a dude named Zach and Zach did everything in his power to stay away from TJ. TJ had 3 pretty funny events happen to him: 1. TJ never sat he plopped. TJ was also about 6'2" and weight north of 270 lbs, so when he plopped he PLOPPED. In a normal chair that was fine, but we had a lot of stools that we sat on and he would plopp on the stools too. One time in front of a busy as hell store he plopped down on a stool, totally missed and ate poo poo. He hit his head against the wall and probably knocked himself out for a minute. He laid there and the whole store was quiet, you could hear a loving pin drop. Our manager comes over to him and is like "ARE YOU OK?!" and groggily he sits up and is like ya I'm fine. If you've ever seen that video of that convenience store worker falling into the cellar it was a similar event. 2. TJ had a Zune. He wasn't a hipster piece of poo poo like the rest of us with our fancy iPods. If a Zune was good enough for our lab manager it was good enough for TJ. TJ would often use the lab manager (Andy)s stuff without his permission. He would charge his Zune on Andys dock, he would use his charging cable, and speakers without ever asking Andy and Andy had made it perfectly crystal clear that TJ was not to use these things, but TJ didn't care because in his mind they were Zune brothers and that trumped any kind of Employee / Supervisor relationship. Andy never worked on Sundays so on a Sunday TJ was doing his thing with the Zune, only this time he forgot his Zune. Andy, Myself, Store Manager and District Manager come into work on Monday morning and as we walk by the lab we hear the sounds of people having sex. We walk in and the moans are DEAFENING, TJs Zune had hardcore porn playing on it on speakers that were wired throughout the entire lab. Andy was mortified and quickly explained "Hey this isn't my Zune, I have told that chuckle gently caress not to use my poo poo!" 3. None of us told TJ about this and TJ came in that day his normal happy go lucky self. Everyone in the store knew he was getting fired that day but we just were extra nice to him. Every sale was "Thats the greatest sale ever!" and he didn't even question why the district manager walked back in. Our store manager said "Hey TJ lets talk!" and TJ looked at me and said "I bet they are going to promote me to key holder (think low level supervisor) because I've been doing so well!" He walked into the office and I wish I could've heard what was said, TJ walked out of the office about 25 to 30 minutes later ripped his tie off threw it on the ground. He screamed (in a store full of customers) "THIS PLACE IS BULLSHIT AND gently caress EVERYONE HERE!" and stormed off. It was some of the funniest poo poo I've ever seen in my life. TJ seems to have found a new home at a local cellphone store. He's been there for a few years now so either he's found people that can actually tolerate him. He still acts goofy as gently caress to me whenever I go in there, he also asks about my wife all the time which I find creepy because he really creeped her out when we all worked together.
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Jan 29, 2016 22:43
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Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:
this is super sad. I hope somehow she comes out ok We had our biggest sales meeting of the year during mardi gras in new orleans. I pretty much grabbed everyone in the companies boobs. It was pretty horrific. It never got mentioned but I'm sure it didn't help my career.
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Jan 30, 2016 00:56
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Stuck my dick in the pickle slicer. She got fired too
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Jan 30, 2016 14:23
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Two managers, both married, one a stick and the other a land whale, were caught having sex in the managers office on camera, I'm like, how did they not realize there was a camera in there? That's where the loving safe is.
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Jan 30, 2016 16:30
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One of my coworkers started crying really loudly after a phone call one morning. It was quite embarrassing.
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Jan 30, 2016 16:50
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A while ago I was the guy who turned up to work every day either drunk or hungover. Nobody really cared as I still got my work done. One day my gut was really struggling with the late night drunken meal and I really needed to poo poo. Only our office was crammed into this old factory and had 2 toilets for 150-200 people, and finding a bathroom vacant was a miracle. So, typically on this fateful day I couldn't get to the bathroom and I felt I really needed to let off some pressure with a fart. Risky gamble, but had to be done. So I let one out and God must have taken pitty on me and allowed it to pass without incident or a sound... only problem was it loving stunk. Possibly the worst fart I have ever done. My coworker immediately shouted "oh go what is that smell" and in my drunken state my best retort was "what? It wasn't me" with the biggest poo poo eating grin on my face. I was made redundant a few weeks later for other reasons. Drunk me has no class or subtlety.
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Jan 30, 2016 17:37
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My work was really trying very hard to enforce universal employee uniform standard from sales person to shipper so that they could try to get shippers to sell product to justify cutting the commission away from sales people. One of the staples was this big metal magnetic badge you had to wear in a specific spot.... that thing would fall off all the time when wearing safety harnesses, but oh well no big deal. Until one time we had to set up a four thousand dollar tv, which was pretty heavy because it was something like 70 inches. Trying to lift within the green zone often meant using your chest to help balance the television as you lift with your legs....meaning that that tv received a good 10 inch gash from the magnetic badge. Name tags no longer became mandatory.
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Jan 30, 2016 20:34
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SalTheBard posted:One of the most embarrassing: whoah that is a noice post all i got to say to you friend is that you are k o s h e r
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Jan 30, 2016 21:10
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I had a old fella call me up asking if the felt we sold was kosher once. It was, apparently that was a issue for him. Probably a Nazi.
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Jan 30, 2016 21:12
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AbbadonOfHell posted:I had a old fella call me up asking if the felt we sold was kosher once. It was, apparently that was a issue for him. holy poo poo you would think people are more kosher this day and age
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Jan 30, 2016 21:21
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blainestereo posted:whoah that is a noice post TJ is that you?
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Jan 30, 2016 23:06
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a guy at the olive garden that stole a bunch of olive garden branded andes mints and stuffed them in his pocket. at the end of the shift he was trying to get a servers phone number and reached in that pocket for a pen. he pulled his hand out covered in brown and held it up in the air between their faces in confusion pretty sure he did not get that number
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Jan 30, 2016 23:58
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i got a good friend of mine a job as a delivery guy at a store i worked at years ago, but the manager at the time was a horrendous irresponsible bitch that sucked at her job and who everyone hated. friend quits because the drivers weren't getting paid their mileage and their per-hour paychecks were poo poo (you could work like 8 hours maybe in one week, the real money was all in how much you drove), idiot manager gets pissed at just me, not anyone else in the woke store who also knew, just me, for not immediately telling her, and when i finally argued back that it was between her and him, not me and him, she proceeded to call one my best friends a "loving retarded idiot rear end in a top hat who should never work a day in his life again because he's so stupid". i got that bitch fired so hard
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Jan 31, 2016 01:12
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The very first video store I worked at (the last story of mine was the second and last) shut down back in the mid-'90s. The owner was such a nutball that he called someone who had quit a few weeks earlier and tried to convince her to come in because he had underestimated the amount of people who were coming in to buy out the place. It was embarrassing for him because you could hear the shouting over the phone, and the insults, and it carried remarkably well for a dying video store.
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Jan 31, 2016 04:40
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Fat short annoying girl got a doctors note to sit on a bouncy ball instead of a chair. When it popped the entire floor thought there was a shooting.
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Jan 31, 2016 04:47
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Relentless posted:Fat short annoying girl got a doctors note to sit on a bouncy ball instead of a chair. thats more cringe worthy than funny, hth My first job while I was in college, i'd work part time for a caterer. I jumped off the stage at an event and my pants were a bit too long and i caught a little on my heal and split the back open from rear end cheek to thigh. had to go tell my manager that i needed the night off uhggg
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Jan 31, 2016 06:30
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my boss poo poo herself in the office and ran out to her car leaving a trail of poo poo through the whole store. we saved the video from the store cams lol another time, a kid fell off the top level of our warehouse shelving while the manager watched 
Big Mean Jerk fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jan 31, 2016 |
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Jan 31, 2016 06:39
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:10 |
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I didn't see this incident, but was party to the aftermath. Girl meets boy at work. She's technically his dotted line boss, but they are both relatively young. They hit it off, so of course they do the natural thing and decide to go at it in his car in the parking lot. At lunch time. And not the discrete bump and grind or make out session, she apparently has excellent control of her gag reflex reports the multiple employees that witnessed this as they went out to their cars to go to lunch / get packed lunches. Either someone snitched or security was actually watching the video feeds from the multiple in-no-way-hidden cameras covering the parking lot, so they show up to break things up. My boss (and their boss), who is a pretty relaxed but openly religious man, described it as the single most awkward conversation he has had to have in his life. They got split up into different teams and both ended up deciding to leave the company shortly afterwards, but the story ends on a positive note. We found out they were married last summer in a wedding at a local Renaissance fair while in authentic garb.
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Feb 2, 2016 01:07
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