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*decides one day to end it all, climbs to the roof* ... 
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Feb 5, 2016 06:54
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:05 |
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*leaves you 40 voicemails when you login to dice*
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Feb 5, 2016 14:14
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Time to torment Dilbert I guess.
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Feb 5, 2016 15:50
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"I"m sorry we're going to have to let you go, security will walk you out. Don't worry about your personal effects, we've already cleaned out your office and thrown it all away. Have a nice day."
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Feb 5, 2016 16:06
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Gives the attractive guys an extra 10% salary range, because she's a lonely, desperate woman.
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Feb 5, 2016 16:20
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*Creates magical ruins with hands in the air* Summonis, PAWGalicus!   Edit: That isn't what I'd do as an HR guy, just what I'd do in a low effort thread to try and make it better
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Feb 5, 2016 16:20
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Professor Shark posted:*Creates magical ruins with hands in the air* The effort is appreciated Shark-Man
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Feb 5, 2016 16:30
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*is part of the only department whose massive turnover rate is due to firing and not voluntarily leaving*
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Feb 5, 2016 16:36
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Serious question, though - are recruiters the same people who have to do the firings, or do they get separate HR people? Is it good cop / bad cop or all in one package?
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Feb 5, 2016 17:02
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Professor Shark posted:*Creates magical ruins with hands in the air* My office would have a no fat chicks rule so these broads would be gone ASAP. EDIT: I'd also never read a resume and instead just run everything throiugh a computer looking for keywords
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Feb 5, 2016 17:03
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Hi I came across your Monster.Com profile that you haven't updated in 7 years and have disabled searching on, I just wanted to see if you're still looking for a better position, and would like to talk about a 1 month part time contract on the other side of the continent.
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Feb 5, 2016 17:06
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i worked in HR and as far as office jobs go its alright
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Feb 5, 2016 17:06
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please fill in these papers for me
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Feb 5, 2016 17:10
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sorry thats all I know about hr 
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Feb 5, 2016 17:11
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BigBoss posted:My office would have a no fat chicks rule so these broads would be gone ASAP. Wow that doesn't sound like a very good office
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Feb 5, 2016 17:15
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Professor Shark posted:Wow that doesn't sound like a very good office  You are doing god's work Professor Shark.
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Feb 5, 2016 17:22
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I'm sorry, we've decided to go with someone less ... urban
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Feb 5, 2016 17:53
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*poops in the bathtub*
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Feb 5, 2016 17:55
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BigBoss posted:My office would have a no fat chicks rule so these broads would be gone ASAP. are you skynet? that second girl is clearly not fat
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Feb 5, 2016 18:08
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*comes in at midday, phones candidate* Oh hi I'm taking friday off this week so is it okay if I get back to you on tuesday? *leaves to 'work from home'*
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Feb 5, 2016 19:22
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I'm... sorry, I just don't think you have enough experience for this fresh graduate position.
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Feb 5, 2016 19:34
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Icept posted:I'm... sorry, I just don't think you have enough experience for this fresh graduate position. lol 
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Feb 5, 2016 19:35
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*puts down whiskey bottle* *puts gun in mouth* *fires*
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Feb 5, 2016 19:37
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wanted: gis specialist with masters degree and ten years of experience salary range 35-36k
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Feb 5, 2016 19:37
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must pass ten polygraphs
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Feb 5, 2016 19:39
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*shuffles papers mindlessly* Will you accept payment in the form of a cot under your desk for you to sleep on after the shackle closes? Alternatively: Hello! I just saw your resume on Career Builder! I see you are currently employed, but would you be interested in a short term contact position in a completely unrelated field for less pay, longer hours, and no benefits? I think you'd be perfect for the position!
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Feb 5, 2016 19:55
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*stares thoughtfully at draft of job posting* I should mention the ping pong table so they know it is a fun place to work and probably will work for less money! Wait until I tell the boss about this great idea, while I shamelessly suck on his dick in front of the entire staff.
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Feb 5, 2016 20:21
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Professor Shark posted:*Creates magical ruins with hands in the air* These HR chicks are hot af
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Feb 7, 2016 18:19
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It's funny how HR people are terrible and incompetent across the board. You deal with one HR person and you've met them all
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Feb 7, 2016 18:31
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Professor Shark posted:*Creates magical ruins with hands in the air* I'd say you fuckin succeeded, got drat. *considers minimum wage "competitive " for college graduates*
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Feb 7, 2016 18:36
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:05 |
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*smiles congenially*
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Feb 7, 2016 19:52
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