ITT you paid someone hundreds of dollars to write your resume

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT you paid someone hundreds of dollars to write your resume

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Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

I dont hear you coming and you catch me, The Cryptkeeper listening to 'Golddigger' on a portable cd player

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 05:38

crotchgobbler: Jul 25, 2007; im an 07 lol

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I just started dating a high level copywriter and she breezed through my resume like an NBA player throwing clothes into a laundry basket from across the room.

This is incredibly lame if true because:

a) This is the worst thing to brag about. "MY GF IS A HIGH LEVEL COPYWRITER!!" Really? I bet everyone is jealous.

b) The existence of copywriters are predicated on everyone else being too stupid to write. So, your GF isn't skilled, you're just a dumb rear end.

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:36

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

occpuation: ITS NOT JUST A HOBBY MOM

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:37

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Skills: Scrying. Ominous statements

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:39

crotchgobbler: Jul 25, 2007; im an 07 lol

Isaac posted:

Skills: Scrying. Ominous statements

Woah, those skills would be really good for a Cryptkeeper! You should consider that.

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:41

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Marrital Status: Finished the original harvest moon without having a girlfriend

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:43

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

crotchgobbler posted:

Woah, those skills would be really good for a Cryptkeeper! You should consider that.

Hadnt even thought of that. Thanks im gonna look into it.

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:44

Jukeboxblues: Jul 29, 2015; Grimey Drawer

*enjoys the lifestyle where its not a problem that I paid someone hundreds of dollars for no reason*

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:46

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

Wheb you got negative numbers jn your bank account you spend money and the number gets higher not lower. Lil money hack for ya

# ? Feb 8, 2016 23:47

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

crotchgobbler posted:

This is incredibly lame if true because:

a) This is the worst thing to brag about. "MY GF IS A HIGH LEVEL COPYWRITER!!" Really? I bet everyone is jealous.

b) The existence of copywriters are predicated on everyone else being too stupid to write. So, your GF isn't skilled, you're just a dumb rear end.

lmao literally impossible to read this post in a voice that isn't the comic book guy

# ? Feb 9, 2016 00:11

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

lmao literally impossible to read this post in a voice that isn't the comic book guy

# ? Feb 9, 2016 01:27

huskarl_marx: Oct 13, 2013; by zen death robot

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

lmao literally impossible to read this post in a voice that isn't the comic book guy

haha

# ? Feb 9, 2016 01:31

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

crotchgobbler posted:

This is incredibly lame if true because:

a) This is the worst thing to brag about. "MY GF IS A HIGH LEVEL COPYWRITER!!" Really? I bet everyone is jealous.

b) The existence of copywriters are predicated on everyone else being too stupid to write. So, your GF isn't skilled, you're just a dumb rear end.

"And what's the deal with copywriters? They write in words, we read in words, why don't they just call all of 'em word writers?"

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:05

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

experience: I managed 200 people in an mmo while also managing to poo poo in my socks and not on the floor

this makes demonstrates my results oriented approach while effectively illustrating ancillary risk management and decisive actioning

# ? Feb 9, 2016 04:12

Dead Precedents: May 5, 2005; Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

crotchgobbler posted:

This is incredibly lame if true because:

a) This is the worst thing to brag about. "MY GF IS A HIGH LEVEL COPYWRITER!!" Really? I bet everyone is jealous.

b) The existence of copywriters are predicated on everyone else being too stupid to write. So, your GF isn't skilled, you're just a dumb rear end.

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

lmao literally impossible to read this post in a voice that isn't the comic book guy

# ? Feb 9, 2016 04:40

Wooded Zacynthus: Mar 15, 2015

I don't need this service, it is all right there in my av

# ? Feb 9, 2016 04:44

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

# ? Feb 9, 2016 06:12

alpaca diseases: May 19, 2009

tomstuart posted:

i have an extremely painfull priapism that will not go away

it all started this morning

i woke up at around 5 am and it felt like i had to pee, i also had morning wood

i did not want to get up out of bed so i laid there and tried to go to sleep igrnoing the urge to pee and the boner

i woke up again at 930 and still had the wood and the full bladder

i releived myself in the shower and then tried to stroke one out to get the erection to go away

it is now 150 pm and i stil lhave the boner

its been 9 hours please help its throbbing in pain and my whole groin area is sore and tender

PM me

# ? Feb 9, 2016 09:50

lorn Wayne: Jan 7, 2006

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

goddamn what a waste...

# ? Feb 9, 2016 10:34

yoloer420: May 19, 2006

I tried this service to see if it could improve my resume at all. The advice was terrible.

Refund was given.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 11:18

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

# ? Feb 9, 2016 11:24

Falun Bong Refugee: Dec 14, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Got his masters from the same college he got his BA. Might as well tattoo "chump" on your forehead.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:00

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

Got his masters from the same college he got his BA. Might as well tattoo "chump" on your forehead.

is that a bad thing to do? i didn't know that

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:05

Cyks: Mar 17, 2008; The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

A misanthrope posted:

is that a bad thing to do? i didn't know that

It's one of those truths that everybody believes just because somebody said it was true. Those same people are the reason this thread exist.

If you got your undergraduates and graduates from the same shiity college in a six year period yeah that may be held against you but that's because you went to a paper mill. No employer is going to look at a resume and go "oh be has both degrees from MIT? What a chump"

# ? Feb 9, 2016 13:35

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Cyks posted:

It's one of those truths that everybody believes just because somebody said it was true. Those same people are the reason this thread exist.

If you got your undergraduates and graduates from the same shiity college in a six year period yeah that may be held against you but that's because you went to a paper mill. No employer is going to look at a resume and go "oh be has both degrees from MIT? What a chump"

thnk you that makes more sense

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:00

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Cyks posted:

It's one of those truths that everybody believes just because somebody said it was true. Those same people are the reason this thread exist.

If you got your undergraduates and graduates from the same shiity college in a six year period yeah that may be held against you but that's because you went to a paper mill. No employer is going to look at a resume and go "oh be has both degrees from MIT? What a chump"

I was discouraged from doing it for my PhD because my advisor said it'd look like I was only capable of working with one particular research group and companies/universities want to see you succeed in different areas, but so far the reality is it has never once come up in any of my interviews. Once you get your PhD most people don't give a poo poo where you did your undergrad, or how you performed there. I got a D+ in intro to fortran my second year and I recently got hired for a position where almost all I do is write fortran code. Undergrad doesn't (shouldn't) matter in any context after you have a more advanced degree.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:12

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Murphy Brownback posted:

I was discouraged from doing it for my PhD because my advisor said it'd look like I was only capable of working with one particular research group and companies/universities want to see you succeed in different areas, but so far the reality is it has never once come up in any of my interviews. Once you get your PhD most people don't give a poo poo where you did your undergrad, or how you performed there. I got a D+ in intro to fortran my second year and I recently got hired for a position where almost all I do is write fortran code. Undergrad doesn't (shouldn't) matter in any context after you have a more advanced degree.

and when i'm looking at resumes work experience trumps degrees of any kind (unfortunate for people who just graduated)

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:17

kikkelivelho: Aug 27, 2015

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

A misanthrope posted:

These people put far more effort into their resumes then I ever did. Then again, I not so sure it's gonna help them get hired

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:17

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

kikkelivelho posted:

These people put far more effort into their resumes then I ever did. Then again, I not so sure it's gonna help them get hired

They should be the ones charging $200 to write resumes imo.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:22

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

kikkelivelho posted:

These people put far more effort into their resumes then I ever did. Then again, I not so sure it's gonna help them get hired

it depends i guess. this kind of crazy-looking resume would probably be ok if you're going for an art job

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:23

BigBallChunkyTime: Nov 25, 2011; Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.; Illegal Hen

Oh hey there's a guy who will write it for me *clicks banner ad on SA*

# ? Feb 9, 2016 14:23

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

What my parents don't understand is that our economy has significantly changed since they were looking for a job. The market is more competitive, so one needs every advantage they can get, even if it means paying someone to write two pages of fluff, because you're a loving idiot.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 15:44