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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Gabe Newell found dead in his home, foul play suspected.
Who killed Gabe Newell?
This poll is closed.
Bill Gates 4 20.00%
Adrian Shephard 3 15.00%
The G-man 6 30.00%
HL3 Confirmed. 7 35.00%
Total: 11 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
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Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

 Just saw this in my feed. Holy poo poo, I can't believe someone actually did this!

quote:

Mercer Island, Washington. — Software developer Gabe Newell was found dead Monday at a home in Mercer Island, King County Sheriff Joe Thompson said.

Police were sent to Mr. Newell's home after a concerned friend called 911.

Investigators say that the marks on the victim are consistent with that of a crowbar, and that the number three had been carved into his forehead.

"We are aggressively investigating the case, with numerous potential leads into this crime," Thompson said.

There are "several potential leads and potential suspects," he said.

The street was blocked off by crime tape and officers were coming and going for hours.
* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:24
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# ? Apr 23, 2024 09:39
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FishionMailed
Feb 2, 2014

by zen death robot
lol Gabe Newell will never die

his consciousness will be uploaded

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:24
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free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Woah! No way! :O

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:25
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Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
hes fat lololol

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:25
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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Wow I definitely believe this story.

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:25
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glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
Was it a heart attack or natural causes? Someone call Alex Jones

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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Crash_N_Burn
Apr 19, 2014

 Dave Reaped again

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Seems legit

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

mdm posted:

Was it a heart attack or natural causes? Someone call Alex Jones

Knife accident

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
pe nny arcade sucks

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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Ramrod Hotshot
May 30, 2003

 I'm glad of it

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:26
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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
We owe it to the American people to delay the appointment of a new Savior of PC Gaming until the next President is elected.

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:27
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symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

 cite your sources

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:27
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Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007
http://store.steampowered.com/app/407420/

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:30
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AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope
drat you 2016!

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:30
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Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp
Gabe Newell would have fought off any intruder with his large collection of knives

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:30
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grading essays nude
Oct 24, 2009

so why dont we
put him into a canan
and shoot him into the trolls base where
ever it is and let him kill all of them. its
so perfect that it can't go wrong.

i think its the best plan i
have ever heard in my life
no goatse, voted 1

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:32
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Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
 He owes us Half Life 3 so even it if was true it's totally acceptable. We bought Half Life 2 because of the promise of 3 and the completion of the story . It's like a contract between the artist and the customer. But Gabe is apparently the Bernard Madoff of gaming .

Nothing of value was lost

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:32
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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

grading essays nude posted:

no goatse, voted 1
* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:33
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r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

 lol if you think valve and steam wouldn't do just fine without gabe, much the same way apple does just fine without steve jobs.

He's a nice ceo and all but the game design, programming, art etc is all done by other people.

The biggest issue is that there's no physical stores for nerds to sit down and cry in front of.

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:37
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Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
I find this suspect since Gabe has no friends.

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:38
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Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

 Someone post that img of the guy crying over Steve Jobs, but have Gabe in it instead.

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:39
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OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

DaveSplitter posted:

Someone post that img of the guy crying over Steve Jobs, but have Gabe in it instead.

I dont think theres enough room for that in the original

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:41
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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

error1 posted:

much the same way apple does just fine without steve jobs.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:44
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# ? Apr 23, 2024 09:39
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ass cobra
May 28, 2004

by Azathoth
My taint my taint

* # ? Feb 15, 2016 22:49
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Gabe Newell found dead in his home, foul play suspected.