PYF shower techniques

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Tunahead: Mar 26, 2010

I had very dry, brittle hair, but now I use a swarthy tar shampoo that you can only get from specialty stores. I use it every day and now I'm the envy of my peers as my hair contains all the coveted qualities of strength, beauty and the smell of a freshly completed roadworks.

# ? May 24, 2016 08:57

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:50

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.

Shower at night so you don�t stew in your own filth for eight hours.

Shave in the morning because who wants a five o�clock shadow at eight A.M.?

# ? May 24, 2016 09:36

om nom nom: Jul 23, 2011; om nom nom nom nom nom nom; Grimey Drawer

Wash your grimy hands before you wash anything else using them

# ? May 24, 2016 17:42

new friend from school: May 19, 2008; by Azathoth

Need to take a shower in a hurry? Just dump a bucket on the floor and roll around in the puddle like a animal you piece of poo poo

# ? May 24, 2016 19:39

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

EVERY DAY I DOUSE MYSELF IN KEROSENE AND LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE WITH A ROAD FLARE.
ONLY THE PURGING FLAMES CAN MAKE ME PURE.

# ? May 24, 2016 20:30

Electric Lady: Mar 21, 2010; To be victorious
you must find glory
in the little things

Is this an appropriate topic to talk about my Terminator ritual?

# ? May 24, 2016 20:47

Big Grunty Secret: Aug 28, 2007; Just one question, though. Is there a way to take off my pants?

I like to take a nice healthy poo poo after I shower so it doesn't smell while I'm scrubbing up. Who's with me?

# ? May 24, 2016 21:16

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Lol, Just, Lol if you don't bathe in your toilet, after firing a brown torpedo into it.

# ? May 24, 2016 21:35

Comptroll The Forums: Apr 25, 2007; DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!

when I shower I have to tie an old cellophane bread bag over my cock and balls becuase of A Condition

# ? May 24, 2016 23:31

Pneub: Mar 12, 2007; I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15puo-dSEIY

# ? May 25, 2016 00:36

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

I don't feel clean unless a squeeze a whole bottle of Head & Shoulders Extreme Control Conditioner into my butt and mouth.

Really helps with all my internal dandruff.

# ? May 25, 2016 01:24

Intoluene: Jul 6, 2011; Activating self-destruct sequence!; Fun Shoe

Tunahead posted:

I had very dry, brittle hair, but now I use a swarthy tar shampoo that you can only get from specialty stores. I use it every day and now I'm the envy of my peers as my hair contains all the coveted qualities of strength, beauty and the smell of a freshly completed roadworks.

To be fair, it is a pretty great smell. Like petrol but better. :downs:

# ? May 25, 2016 04:50

sticklefifer: Nov 11, 2003; by VideoGames

Reenact the Roy Batty death scene from Blade Runner.

# ? May 25, 2016 10:51

Bomrek: Oct 9, 2012

I take Navy showers sometimes if I feel like self-flagellating but just can't work up the energy

# ? May 25, 2016 10:54

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

Wet my rear end in a top hat and then break out the shaving cream to go to work

# ? May 28, 2016 16:26

rndmnmbr: Jul 3, 2012

Toilet brush lodged scrubbing-end first as deep in my colon as I can stand. Scalding hot water from shower head on my balls. Dove Daily Moisture as lube, nothing else. Badly photoshopped image of Miley Cyrus in a Nazi uniform, laminated for waterproofing. Slap my balls as hard as I can when I cum to punish myself for impure thoughts.

# ? May 28, 2016 20:04

Stex T: Mar 7, 2005; Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.

As a percentage of total shower time, how much of my shower should be spent cleaning the cock and balls?

# ? May 28, 2016 22:36

Enfys: Feb 17, 2013; The ocean is calling and I must go

oldpainless posted:

Temp slightly less than super hot. 1 curtain outside the tub and 1 on the inside. Body wash for hair body and face and also use it to shave which I do at the end of my shower.

I don't understand the point of shower curtains on the outside of the shower.

Young Cato posted:

Thanks for asking.

First of all, here's a quick tip that may save you tens or hundreds of dollars per year on soap and body wash. Go to Target or Walmart or whatever and buy a big 64oz bottle of antibacterial soap. They're supposed to be for refilling dispensers with. The store brand one is like $3-$4. This is now your body wash, hand soap, whatever you need really. I probably go through four of these in a year, max. You could probably find an even cheaper alternative through some kind of janitorial supply wholesale site or something.

You need to up your game son.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sElJtkhUe5E

# ? May 29, 2016 00:22

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Morning shower:
Water as cold as you can get
5 minutes
Music: fast and loud
Lights: bright, cold, and merciless
Shampoo, rinse hair, conditioner, body wash, rinse body, brush teeth, rinse hair

Evening/weekend/holiday shower:
40�C water, as much as possible.
Dim/no light.
30-60 minutes.
Music: no gently caress you, it's quiet time
Washing: whatever fancy poo poo someone's given you and/or that has glitter in it, because why the gently caress not

# ? May 29, 2016 00:44

Pneub: Mar 12, 2007; I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN

Stex T posted:

As a percentage of total shower time, how much of my shower should be spent cleaning the cock and balls?

60% of the total shower time on cock, 40% balls.

# ? May 29, 2016 02:16

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

Enfys posted:

I don't understand the point of shower curtains on the outside of the shower.

I use one because I'm not a loving peasant.

# ? May 29, 2016 04:51

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Stex T posted:

As a percentage of total shower time, how much of my shower should be spent cleaning the cock and balls?

98%

# ? May 29, 2016 05:40

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

just add water

# ? May 31, 2016 07:51

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

I cover my body in sand and lay motionless until the tiny crabs within emerge and eat the soft portions of my body.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 03:12

Chair In A Basket: Aug 6, 2005; I'm basically Jesus.; Nap Ghost

I start brushing when I turn on the hot water and finish brushing just in time to feel the water switch from lukewarm to right on. After that I just sit down on the drain and cry. It takes about 5 minutes before the water and tears threaten to overflow out onto the floor, so I know that it is time to get up and get clean. Head & pits first. Then I finish with my dick and butt. Balls too.

Chair In A Basket has a new favorite as of 03:58 on Jun 2, 2016

# ? Jun 2, 2016 03:55

post-apocalyptic erotica: Jan 28, 2013

Young Cato posted:

Thanks for asking.

First of all, here's a quick tip that may save you tens or hundreds of dollars per year on soap and body wash. Go to Target or Walmart or whatever and buy a big 64oz bottle of antibacterial soap. They're supposed to be for refilling dispensers with. The store brand one is like $3-$4. This is now your body wash, hand soap, whatever you need really. I probably go through four of these in a year, max. You could probably find an even cheaper alternative through some kind of janitorial supply wholesale site or something.

My showers go down like this: Turn on hot water, let it warm up, get in. Rinse body. Wet my wash cloth, pour some soap on it, scrub down my hands and arms. Rinse wash cloth, pour some soap on it, scrub my face. Rinse cloth, pour soap, scrub my pits. Next is torso, then dick/balls, then rear end crack, then legs, rinsing the wash cloth and reapplying soap each time obviously. Rinse and wring the wash cloth one last time, make sure soap is thoroughly rinsed off of my body, then done. I don't use shampoo, it's a scam.

Cheers everyone.

You really, REALLY shouldn't cover yourself in antibacterial soap. Under a microscope your flesh is probably a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 12:33

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

One word: tar shampoo.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 13:26

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

I never really got why one would use a wash cloth.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 13:28

computer angel: Sep 9, 2008; Make it a double.

Jerry Cotton posted:

One word: tar shampoo.

What is with you and this

# ? Jun 2, 2016 14:14

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Cosima posted:

What is with you and this

No dandruff and great smell.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 14:24

computer angel: Sep 9, 2008; Make it a double.

self care

# ? Jun 2, 2016 14:29

new friend from school: May 19, 2008; by Azathoth

Jerry Cotton posted:

One word: tar shampoo.

My man.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 15:03

Free Market Mambo: Jul 26, 2010; by Lowtax

Tar soap, it is glorious.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 17:26

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Tar soap is good.

# ? Jun 2, 2016 21:07

mrking: May 27, 2006; There's No Limit To What We Can't Accomplish

I never understood masterbating in the shower until I stayed in a hotel with really soft water. Slick water is okay but I prefer to feel like I can get all the soap off my skin and out of my hair

# ? Jun 2, 2016 23:25

tribbledirigible: Jul 27, 2004; I finally beat the internet. The end boss was hard.

Jerry Cotton posted:

One word: tar shampoo.

That's two words, but otherwise yeah, tar products erryday.

# ? Jun 3, 2016 00:00

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

if you don't pee on your feet so you can stick to the sides of the shower, lemur-like, and shower upside down, WHAT IS THE POINT I ASK YOU

# ? Jun 3, 2016 13:30

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

tribbledirigible posted:

That's two words, but otherwise yeah, tar products erryday.

Well it's one word where I come from.

# ? Jun 3, 2016 13:34

tribbledirigible: Jul 27, 2004; I finally beat the internet. The end boss was hard.

bringmyfishback posted:

if you don't pee on your feet so you can stick to the sides of the shower, lemur-like, and shower upside down, WHAT IS THE POINT I ASK YOU

From JCVD's very own book of secrets.

# ? Jun 3, 2016 14:13

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:50

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Actual protip: Smoke some :420:

and then shower in a shower with really high water pressure, and with some dope tunes bumping. It's fukken glorious.

# ? Jun 3, 2016 17:55

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