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Apr 3, 2016 03:00
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the lord of the rings is an allegory about
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Apr 3, 2016 03:04
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Presented without comment http://youtu.be/RL52R7m8b7w
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Apr 3, 2016 03:29
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The White Dragon posted:the simply sara body type is hardly beyond human comprehension thx for makin me gis simply sara NOT
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Apr 3, 2016 03:31
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MONKEY TRASH! posted:Frodo in the first book LOTR is actually one novel comprising six books divided across three volumes, you loving moron.
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Apr 3, 2016 03:46
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Pre-LotR Frodo was kinda ostracized because his uncle went on an adventure with thirteen dwarves and a gay wizard, and to hobbits being associated with adventures means you have a misshapen microdick. Maybe he paid a hobbit hooker in food or something.
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Apr 3, 2016 03:49
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MONKEY TRASH! posted:Frodo in the first book is way more of a bossy lil bitch than in the movie. If Tolkien had any interest in sex at all I think we would've seen Frodo's GF or BF. I think Frodo ends up being the only incel of all the hobbits, the other ones get wives after getting famous. 
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Apr 3, 2016 03:53
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I'd kiss Sam Gamgy
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Apr 3, 2016 03:56
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I like how in the movie Sam is all "ah man i miss Rosie so much, beautiful rosie dancin around with flowers in her hair" but in the books he's all "gently caress, mr frodo, i just miss farmer cotton's boys so much, fuckin tom and jolly and nibs and nick, god dammit mr frodo i just miss those boys so much... and their sister too I guess i dunno"
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Apr 3, 2016 04:07
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Gatekeeper posted:thx for makin me gis simply sara the second line was your clue not to image search that
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Apr 3, 2016 04:16
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she stopped showing herself in her videos lately, just points the camera at the food and her hands i assume it's because she's got some kind of repulsive fat person skin disease
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Apr 3, 2016 04:18
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Mr. Unlucky posted:the second line was your clue not to image search that thick is disingenuous at best bud  AugmentedVision posted:she stopped showing herself in her videos lately, just points the camera at the food and her hands moldy skin tag folds  yuckers
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Apr 3, 2016 04:25
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Shaquin posted:sam seems like a power bottom to me Tops frequently question why they fall so quickly for a great bottom experience, and wonder how the bottom is able to endure the rapid, thrusting sensation of his manhood with every climactic moment of the sexual experience. Perhaps it is the ecstasy of being engaged with a bottom of power, or what is more commonly referred to as the “power bottom.” My personal definition, in “gay” terms, of a bottom is a male who receives penal penetration in the anus, also identified as the receptive partner. So, what is the difference between a regular bottom and a power bottom – or is there even a difference at all? The meaning of power bottom varies on an individual-by-individual basis; some would consider a “power bottom” a person who has a long, strong sexual drive who can endure being penetrated for extended lengths of time, while others view them as “size queens” – a person who generally enjoys being penetrated by a very well-endowed top. However, in my experience, it’s just plain and simple: tops enjoy guys who can deliver great bottom experiences because it is their ultimate sexual fantasy. A person who can fulfill the fantasy of a top’s sexual desires, needs and wants without being asked or instructed is truly a top’s dream. Tops appreciate a bottom that enjoys his experience without complaining about exhaustion or pain. Unfortunately, though, the term “power bottom” has essentially been dragged through the mud and viewed negatively by a number of tops and bottoms, but do not fall for the gibberish. Even though the sexual experience may be very enjoyable with the power bottom, there is much more to this equation. A power bottom, in my opinion, is not a size queen or a person with excessive sexual stamina, but is one who has experience as a bottom, is very confident and knows his self-worth. The ways a power bottom talks and his assertive confidence have the ability to instantly mesmerize a top; the power bottom, with a simple greeting of “Hello,” instantly draws him in, and the sexual experience has already begun. When the top instantly becomes mentally stimulated by the power bottom’s conversation, the top’s desire to explore this bottom and their experience together. The way the power bottom sways when he walks is erotically appealing, and is also a calculated skill that drives the top wild! Beyoncé said it best in her song, “Ego”: “I walk like this ‘cause I can back it up!” As confident as the power bottom is in his walk, he is equally confident in the bedroom. The erotic sexual moment about to ensue is appealing to the top, because he can’t believe what he is feeling now that he is alone with him. As they engage, the moment of climax approaches and totally blows his…mind, and makes him feel like he has fallen in love. The power bottom is smiling because he knows his sex, body, mind and spirit all ooze – of confidence. Self-worth is the undisputed trait of a power bottom. Being confident in who you are as an intellectual, sexual individual is also intellectually and sexually intriguing to tops – hence the adjective, power.
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Apr 3, 2016 04:55
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Gatekeeper posted:thick is disingenuous at best bud sorry brah i thought wanda's macaroni salad was as ubiquitous as goatse at this point, and you wouldn't have to subject yourself to searching it
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Apr 3, 2016 04:59
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Apr 3, 2016 05:28
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wtf was the undying lands anyway, I thought it was stupid how they were like "Frodo went off to the undying lands" and didn't really give me any context as to what that was or means
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Apr 3, 2016 05:49
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The gods made a place for themselves outside of middle earth and invited the elves to come chill there whenever they got tired of watching everything in middle earth age and die.
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Apr 3, 2016 06:11
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fickle poofterist posted:Tops frequently question why they fall so quickly for a great bottom experience, and wonder how the bottom is able to endure the rapid, thrusting sensation of his manhood with every climactic moment of the sexual experience. Perhaps it is the ecstasy of being engaged with a bottom of power, or what is more commonly referred to as the “power bottom.” 
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Apr 3, 2016 09:15
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extra stout posted:i really enjoy the lotr threads even if they are this I like this thread, but here's a decent one too: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3532243
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Apr 3, 2016 15:46
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Cnut the Great posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXVqdEQ2cY4 Sojenus posted:morgoth making hurin watch his kids gently caress each other was just my kind of kinky poo poo lol i never realized this
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Apr 3, 2016 15:48
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Has Wanda ever appeared on Sara's youtube channel. I bet Sara is Saruman to Wanda's Sauron.
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Apr 3, 2016 15:57
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Fonzarelli posted:wtf was the undying lands anyway, I thought it was stupid how they were like "Frodo went off to the undying lands" and didn't really give me any context as to what that was or means It's the equivalent of sending the family dog to an idyllic farm to run around and be happy forever
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Apr 3, 2016 16:14
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numberoneposter posted:book marked this thread for further research Good choice
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Apr 3, 2016 16:17
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William Bear posted:One thing is certain: the balrog of Moria died a virgin.
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Apr 3, 2016 16:19
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Frodo may have been accosted and raped by the spider too. The orcs were talking about how she has her way with the victims before she eats them. Ew. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLN1lUtwMzQ&t=81s Microwaves Mom fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Apr 3, 2016 |
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Apr 3, 2016 16:29
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The Fellowship had settled around what passed for a fire -- all they dared build, and only because the landscape afforded some minor protection against far-seeing eyes. There was no flame, just smoldering coals, but they all agreed it was better than having built nothing. The sun had just finished its crawl from dawn to daylight, and soon they would turn in to sleep the day before rising to march again through the night. Gandalf had just settled himself a bit away from the rest to take his turn at watch, but he sat near enough that none felt he was excluded from the conversation. They'd been marching long enough to feel the pangs of exhaustion, yet not so long that they were too tired to sit and talk. Each morning, thus far, they'd shared songs and histories, taking turns telling or singing stories. This morning, Frodo had begun with a simple song which then gave rise to conversation. "Well, it isn't uncommon for a hobbit to be a virgin well into their sixties," Frodo explained casually. The lady in his song had been celebrating her sixty-fifth year, and was wondering if she would ever meet that one right hobbit with whom to celebrate her deflowering. The other hobbits nodded, as the others in their party gave each other guarded looks. "I would think that... landed people such as yourselves, would be... free with such relations," Aragorn said in a careful tone. "In Bree, the villagers always seem to... engage themselves at quite early ages." He glanced around, as though wondering if his words would be taken as offensive. "Oh, no," Frodo said, shaking his head. "Hobbits can be quite restrained in that respect." He paused, then said causally, as Aragorn still looked as though he was afraid he'd said something indelicate, "In fact I'm still a virgin." The other members of the Fellowship -- save for the other hobbits, for they already knew -- stared at Frodo. Each one looked astonished, and in the face of such, Sam spoke up defensively. "As am I. Ain't nothing to be shamed of." "Oh, I meant no offense," Aragorn said quickly. "I was simply surprised. Though... I confess I know less about hobbits than I had come to believe." "A hundred years, and I still get surprised," Gandalf observed, from where he sat. "The day Bilbo told me he was still a virgin..." Gandalf shook his head. "But there is, as Samwise says, nothing to be ashamed of about it. Wizards are often virgins throughout their lifetime. There's nothing odd in that at all." Now everyone turned to stare at Gandalf, who sat calmly, smoking his pipe. Pippin asked, "Gandalf, are--" He stopped as Merry glared, but the question was already asked. Gandalf smiled genially. "I am, in fact." "As am I!" Gimli blurted, seemingly embarrassed -- though not by his admission, but by the fact he was making it. His gaze darted from one member of the company to another, as though waiting for the first comment and ready to leap upon it to demonstrate how little the fact of his virginity bothered him. When none said a word, he added, "Dwarves don't, until they're married. And when you marry for life, you take your time finding the right person." With that, he settled back, crossing his arms as though his duty was done. "Elves don't," Legolas said, surprising the company with his carefree tone. "We simply don't have the urge for it." He shrugged. "It's why there are so few elven children. At times, when an increase in population is needed, our women will encourage themselves at it. But mostly we don't bother." "And that is why I have never," Aragorn said quickly, with a deceptive casualness. "I was raised by elves, and once I fell in love with Arwen... I felt no need to force my desires on her, unwilling. Someday, perhaps. But until then... I see no need for it." He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "But... weren't you in the White City, among men, for many years?" Frodo asked. "Surely you would have had opportunity then." Frodo's innocent curiousity seemed to sheild the question from rudeness. Aragorn shook his head, but did not answer save for a glance at Boromir. It was Boromir who then answered, "It is custom for the warriors of Gondor to refrain, that their strength might not be squandered. When a warrior has grown too old to fight, or has been injured, he may take a wife and is then encouraged to bear many children. Until it is time for me to take Stewardship, I shall not marry, nor know another in that way." No one had anything to say to that, beyond looking at each other, then the remaining two members of their group. "Well, I'm a virgin too," Merry spoke up. At this point there seemed not point in refraining for admitting it, what with an entire company of virgins together. Almost. "You mean I'm the only one who's ever had sex?" Pippin cried. Everyone turned and stared. Pippin gaped back in amazement. "You... have?" Frodo asked, then he broke off, trying to think. "I have! Every bloody week, with one or another. I never thought I was the only one -- though now I know why you never talked about it!" He glared at Merry. "I thought you were just... shy, or circumspect or something. Now you're telling me you never said anything because you'd never done it!" Pippin shook his head, sighing in disgust. Then he realised that every single member of the Fellowship was staring at him. Their expressions were no longer that of surprise. Frodo was the first to speak. "What... is it like?" "Tell us," some of them begged. Then someone asked, "Show us." Pippin squeaked. It was going to be a long, long journey.
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Apr 3, 2016 16:37
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^^ THis is gonna turn into a gay 69 fest isn't it?
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Apr 3, 2016 16:40
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Fonzarelli posted:wtf was the undying lands anyway, I thought it was stupid how they were like "Frodo went off to the undying lands" and didn't really give me any context as to what that was or means they're going to america
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Apr 3, 2016 16:56
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numberoneposter posted:book marked this thread for further research
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Apr 3, 2016 17:20
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Tom Bombadil is the gayest person in all of Middle Earth and yet he has the hottest wife. How can this be?
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Apr 3, 2016 18:33
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Technically Shelob's stinger was a penis so frodo got a poison creampie and is def not a virgin
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Apr 3, 2016 18:34
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dog buttz posted:Technically Shelob's stinger was a penis so frodo got a poison creampie and is def not a virgin finally some penetration
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Apr 3, 2016 18:35
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dog buttz posted:Technically Shelob's stinger was a penis so frodo got a poison creampie and is def not a virgin So much it came out of his mouth. Hmmm... I wonder if there's a fetish for that
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Apr 3, 2016 18:40
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Lodin posted:Tom Bombadil is the gayest person in all of Middle Earth and yet he has the hottest wife. How can this be? Tom Bombadil has total control and awareness of everything within his domain. Total control. She was probably lost and stumbled into the wrong part of the woods. Nation posted:finally some penetration penetration, creampie, and oral!!!!  Decebal posted:So much it came out of his mouth. POV REVERSE DIGESTIVE TRACT CREAMPIE flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Apr 3, 2016 |
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Apr 3, 2016 18:40
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manwe loves to gently caress
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Apr 3, 2016 19:10
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if orcs come from the dirt or whatever do they have bepis?????
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Apr 4, 2016 22:03
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numberoneposter posted:if orcs come from the dirt or whatever do they have bepis????? i wish i knew
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Apr 4, 2016 22:06
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why does orcs come from the dirt? do all orcs come from the dirty?
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Apr 4, 2016 22:12
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Lodin posted:Tom Bombadil is the gayest person in all of Middle Earth and yet he has the hottest wife. How can this be? gay dudes sometime need a beard
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Apr 5, 2016 02:53
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orcs are corrupted elves, morgoth can't create life because that is reserved for eru illuvatar and furthermore
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Apr 5, 2016 03:08
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