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Pissed Ape Sexist
Apr 19, 2008

You have the rare psychological affliction known in certain circles as 'being a normal gay dude', coupled with the crippling condition of 'overthinking things to define yourself'. Shut up and gently caress people, snowflake, the world is a party waiting for you to walk in the front door and get bizzay

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WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
i suck my own dick and shoot jazz into my own mouth

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


Jk im not gay. haha.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Carmant posted:

Jk im not gay. haha.

who cares? you cant get pussy or dick

RNG
Jul 9, 2009

HoboZero posted:

You have the rare psychological affliction known in certain circles as 'being a normal gay dude', coupled with the crippling condition of 'overthinking things to define yourself'. Shut up and gently caress people, snowflake, the world is a party waiting for you to walk in the front door and get bizzay

pardon you some of us are waiting for someone to come in the back door

jeff smisek
May 18, 2009


Sex is where u put a pee pee into a wee wee and then milk comes out ! (:

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
you seem to think a lot about sex, op. maybe if you were less hideous you could actually get to try it out instead of posting on the internet.

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


Serious Frolicking posted:

you seem to think a lot about sex, op. maybe if you were less hideous you could actually get to try it out instead of posting on the internet.

drat dude thats brutal.,

gently caress!!

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx
Does anyone find the concept of tube sites super hot? Like these women gave away their dignity and soul to make some money but by pirating theyre work you're taking that away too, makes me rock hard

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
fuckin A all, love a thick dick and a lean pussy, RAM this skin shack my man, RAM this bitch's orifice

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina

false, don't be so heteronormative you loving gender BITCH

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Sorry Dr. Tim

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

here's a prescription: take two huge mandingo loads to your cob webbed up boy oval office and call me in the morning

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
heres an idea op, dust your fat gunt off and try sex for once????

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

here's a prescription: take two huge mandingo loads to your cob webbed up boy oval office and call me in the morning

I can't, I'll end up abusing my script

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I can't, I'll end up abusing my script

theres free refills :smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon::smugdon:

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
Dr W on fire tonight. the phones are lighting up

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imqapaYAPbY

Corn Glizzy
Jun 28, 2007



I made gently caress about one hour ago, now I'm having In N Out. Very similar.

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

JiveHonky posted:

Dr W on fire tonight. the phones are lighting up

running a free clinic on real sex advice

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax

Carmant posted:

Let's talk about sex. I am a highly sexual person, and completely the opposite of a demisexual. I do not require any emotional attachment to someone to have sex. It is simply sex to me; to be honest, sex without previous emotional attachment is usually better in my opinion. That does not mean that I can't have sex with someone that I am attached to and it be meaningful, it just simply means that I do not require that to have sex.

I am attracted to masculinity. That is not to say that I'm an effeminate bottom and need to be dominated. If you need to define people with those labels, we probably aren't compatible. Also, that is not gender-specific. I have met plenty of masculine women that really turn me on. (OITNB is full of them if you need reference) However, I struggle with gender. As vulgar or promiscuous as this may sound to you, I just really like dick. I can not imagine being in a successful relationship without dick. I have no problems at all with dating women, I'm just not sure that the sex would really work... which ultimately would result in a failing relationship.

Physically, I am attracted to average-looking people. I am not attracted to people who appreciate being able to see their ribs and I am not attracted to people that are morbidly obese. I appreciate a belly and some body hair. I do not want any to spend any amount of time wondering if I think they are "attractive enough". That is self-deprecating and terrible. Yes, I have standards, but I assure you they are far looser than what your average Grindr user is looking for. Also, just being honest, do not lie about your dick size. Size matters to me. A REAL six inches is totally fine. More than that is appreciated, but by no means a requirement. However, if you have a penis the size of a standard trapezoidal eraser, we will not be having sex. I've had enough sex in my life to know that a three inch penis is not going to satisfy me, no matter how much I care about you. It is an ugly truth, I know.

Let's talk about sex and not mention what sex we are, that sounds productive.

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
I mean, clearly you are a gay because women don't talk like that but still

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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


is this a cry for help

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