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ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
It's getting to be springtime and over the past 6 months i have gained about 30 lbs and four inches around my waist leading to my current predicament. It's starting to be spring at that means it's time to update my wardrobe!

I was in my closet this afternoon trying to put on pants and nearly 3/4 of them didn't fit. I went looking aorund and realized that I have only bought a couple pairs of pants and a couple shirts for myself in the past three or four years. Everything else has been gifts or freebie giveaways at college.

Here's what I have so far to work with:

3 ties
One authentic black leather belt.

(will update with pics of what is in my shopping cart)







I'm an amazon prime member and deathly afraid of leaving the house. I am not a responsible adult so I need some help here.

ChrisHansen fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Apr 12, 2016

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symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

well, JNCO jeans are making a comeback

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Naturalism is the way forward, and most cost effective

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
im sorry i just dont have time for this poo poo. good luck chris.

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
can we stop at the toilet store?

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

ROFLburger posted:

can we stop at the toilet store?

I do need new shoes! Thanks!

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

symbolic posted:

well, JNCO jeans are making a comeback

A ILL BREAKFAST
Jun 9, 2007

*unsheathes katana*


you can also find pretty good deals on leather dusters if you shop around

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

i saw huge easter egg for sale for $1 each down from $8 each and i thought "im gonig to buy 2" but i didnt buy any because im already too fat and i went clothes shopping the other month and it was one of the most depressing things ive done in a long time which is quite an achievement because my life is a long series of depressing events

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
i buy all my clothes at target. are we going to target?

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I'm also ISO (in search of) stylish adult diapers, on account of my severe lactose inteolerance and love of fine cheeses

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

JiveHonky posted:

i buy all my clothes at target. are we going to target?

target is pretty cool

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

A ILL BREAKFAST posted:



you can also find pretty good deals on leather dusters if you shop around

grabbing these for the OP, I'm gonna look so cool!

Now i just need a few more things, like one of those wallets with an extra long chain made of little skulls

bikesonyx
Oct 9, 2014

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Having clothes for every day of the week is p cool.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
well, it looks like i was logged in to my work gmail account while i was looking up "stylish adult diapers" and "toilet shoes"

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
I still wear pants from high school that was like 10 years ago.

I think I need new pants soon.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost
having a uniform for work is awesome.

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

ChrisHansen posted:

well, it looks like i was logged in to my work gmail account while i was looking up "stylish adult diapers" and "toilet shoes"
this is not a problem

choprite
Sep 29, 2007
just about as retarded as you'd think

i heart dildos not dildon'ts

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


ChrisHansen posted:

I'm also ISO (in search of) stylish adult diapers, on account of my severe lactose inteolerance and love of fine cheeses

look at the bright side, you can probably go down slides real fast with all that lube

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
If there's a tailor out there, I can give you my measurements

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006

ChrisHansen posted:

If there's a tailor out there, I can give you my measurements

We're not stopping at the Big & "Tall"

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


been wearing the same white dress shirt for 20 years. just wore that poo poo to a job interview, yellow collar, pit stains. slammed 3 beers in the parking lot right before.

fuckin hired on the spot. senior server administrator for the dept. of veterans affairs. plus i lied about knowing how to do servers or whatever. lmaoo

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I been trying to get with the VA for a couple years now. It's not like I could do worse than how they're doing things!

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I found some swimsuits and this one look real good. Just imagine it on a younger, fatter danny devito and that's me

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy

MiracleWhale posted:

look at the bright side, you can probably go down slides real fast with all that lube

I like your posting, but you clearly have not taken part in an obstacle course designed for children with diarrhea streaming down the back of your legs.

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
Serious post





I own and wear all this poo poo, proudly.

Roast me.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
I cannot oblige you in roasting you as those are all pretty cool especially that last shirt.

TheWeepingHorse
Nov 20, 2009

Al Cowens posted:

I own and wear all this poo poo, proudly.

Roast me.

These look nice, but they're not funny.

I saw a dude the other day absolutely decked out in swag for The Offspring, plus legit JNCO-looking pants. Good for you, dude. Good for you. I kinda hope you weren't just wearing a costume. No loving clue how a 17-year-old has any awareness whatsoever of what The Offspring are.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

TheWeepingHorse posted:

No loving clue how a 17-year-old has any awareness whatsoever of what The Offspring are.

wearing his dads vintage clothes

Revenants Return
Mar 28, 2016

by Shine
I actually need to go summer clothes shopping

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

TheWeepingHorse posted:

No loving clue how a 17-year-old has any awareness whatsoever of what The Offspring are.
i listened to them a lot when i was 16 :shrug:

yes that was only a couple years ago, gently caress off

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois

TheWeepingHorse posted:

I saw a dude the other day absolutely decked out in swag for The Offspring, plus legit JNCO-looking pants. Good for you, dude. Good for you. I kinda hope you weren't just wearing a costume. No loving clue how a 17-year-old has any awareness whatsoever of what The Offspring are.
I saw this Japanese exchange student with her bud who couldn't have been older than 23 wearing a Beavis and Butthead shirt. I just had to ask her about it and she was like "DIS IZ JAPANEEZU T-SHAATSU :D :D :D", said she got it second hand from some harajuku second hand store

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


ChrisHansen posted:

I like your posting, but you clearly have not taken part in an obstacle course designed for children with diarrhea streaming down the back of your legs.

<hangs head in shame> guilty as charged

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
I was at target but I got distracted and didn't buy any clothes. I didn't even have time to browse their graphic tees.

Are they supposed to be ironic or is there really a big market for tshirts with soda logos?

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MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


ChrisHansen posted:

I was at target but I got distracted and didn't buy any clothes. I didn't even have time to browse their graphic tees.

Are they supposed to be ironic or is there really a big market for tshirts with soda logos?

when i'm passed out on the sidewalk in a diabetic coma it's important for the emts to know which flavor of carbonated sugar beverage to put in my iv drip bag

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