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Hello! Are you hardworking, a self starter? Able to follow directions, work in a group and be independent? Are you a fast learner? This may be the job for you!!!!! That empty seat could be yours!!! If you have a special skill or gimmick, DO NOT BE SHY IN TELLING US!!!! ABOUT US: BEERLIOZ ENTERPRISES is a large, multinational company servicing the needs of clients around the world. However, our boss, Mr. Hector Beerlioz, has plans for world domination as well. Recently a vacancy has come up for a Chief Henchman or Henchwoman (we are an equal opportunity employer and our offices are compliant with the American's with Disabilities Act of 1990). Secret plans can not be revealed at this time, however. If you make it to subsequent rounds of the application process you make be let in on them NOT GUARANTEED!!! YOUR JOB: As Chief Henchman/Henchwoman you will accompany Mr. Beerlioz as he travels around the world. You will be asked to do many different tasks, some of them morally questionable. If this bothers you PLEASE DO NOT APPLY!!! More will be revealed during the application process. A sense of humor is a must!!!! RESPONSIBILITIES: ~Deal with Mr. Beerlioz's day to day activities ~Eliminate any threats to Mr. Beerlioz and his secret plan ~Follow the orders of Mr. Beerlioz without question, always!!! ~Strong analytical skills ~Work efficiently in a deadline-oriented production environment ~Possess excellent written and verbal communication skills ~Strong computer skills, especially presentation and spreadsheet applications ~Ability to multi-task and coordinate task-oriented functions ~Strong attention to detail and accuracy ~Take great pride and satisfaction in producing error-free work ~Must have a positive "can do" attitude and thrive on success This is a full-time entry-level position with room for advancement. Recent college graduates are encouraged to apply. We offer a very attractive benefits package. Interested candidates please submit a cover letter and resume. compensation: Commensurate with experience employment type: full-time *Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. *do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers
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May 23, 2016 23:30
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let's see the uniform
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May 23, 2016 23:31
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how much does this position pay I'm very good at following orders, that is a lie I have oppositional defiance disorder
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May 23, 2016 23:32
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 Got my henchman outfit ready to go
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May 23, 2016 23:32
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Shaquin posted:let's see the uniform The position does not require a specific outfit, LET YOUR STYLE SHINE!!!
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May 23, 2016 23:40
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May 23, 2016 23:41
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Hector Beerlioz posted:The position does not require a specific outfit, LET YOUR STYLE SHINE!!! is there on on site cafeteria with vegan/gluten free options? childcare facilities in company?
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May 23, 2016 23:41
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i am an outright motherfucker hire me
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May 23, 2016 23:42
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Iron Prince posted:i am an outright motherfucker hire me work experience, please
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May 23, 2016 23:43
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it's an incentive based market and henches are in high demand Mr. Beerlioz you are gonna have to show a package worth grabbing onto for me to consider this
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May 23, 2016 23:44
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Whats the insurance like?
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May 23, 2016 23:45
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satanic splash-back posted:Whats the insurance like? https://mychristiancare.org/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiUQcykuKnU
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May 23, 2016 23:50
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sorry i have to wash my hair 
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May 23, 2016 23:52
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What's the salary and is there a standard issued firearm provided or do I have to provide my own?
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May 23, 2016 23:54
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Gaunab posted:What's the salary and is there a standard issued firearm provided or do I have to provide my own? compensation: Commensurate with experience Weapons will be provided, but you are expected to bring you own specific flair for killing, i.e. metal teeth, buzz-saw yo-yo, poison shoe-knife, etc
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May 23, 2016 23:57
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Get in line, henchman.
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May 23, 2016 23:58
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Is this a strictly-numbers gig or can we individualize our costumes? I know you mentioned killing flair, but that is covered under separate clauses in most contracts.
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May 23, 2016 23:58
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if you are Hectors henchman that means he is the Bad Guy, which means you will inevitably be murdered by the Hero whoever the gently caress that is. think about it.
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May 24, 2016 00:03
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im the hero im going to kill you all and also people's babies I am SIDS man
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May 24, 2016 00:04
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JiveHonky posted:if you are Hectors henchman that means he is the Bad Guy, which means you will inevitably be murdered by the Hero whoever the gently caress that is. We are hoping to eliminate "mishaps" with the new employee!!!!
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May 24, 2016 00:05
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Can I get a boot cut? I'll pay for it.
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May 24, 2016 00:06
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100 HOGS AGREE posted:Can I get a boot cut? I'll pay for it. yes, pending your successful application. What are you skill and experience?
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May 24, 2016 00:14
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You may need a #1 Hector, but around here 21 and 24 are what you'll get: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE87hH8hdIw
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May 24, 2016 00:24
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Hector Beerlioz posted:work experience, please 1) Combat veteran (Afghanistan) 2) 10+ year GBS poster 3) Huge fuckin jackass for real
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May 24, 2016 00:25
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Voted 3
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May 24, 2016 00:37
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I'm just gonna put on my best suit and hat, walk down to Beerloiz Enterprises, find the manager, look him straight in the eye and with a firm handshake, ask him for a job. That's how my father and his father before him got a job and dammit, that's the American Dream!
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May 24, 2016 00:37
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TheNightmanCum-eth posted:I'm just gonna put on my best suit and hat, walk down to Beerloiz Enterprises, find the manager, look him straight in the eye and with a firm handshake, ask him for a job. That's how my father and his father before him got a job and dammit, that's the American Dream! Please do not, we use the same system as USAJobs.gov.
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May 24, 2016 00:40
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Friendly Humour posted:Voted 3 Well, some one is out of the running
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May 24, 2016 00:40
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I will be your downfall mister Beerlioz 
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May 24, 2016 00:41
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this better not be one of those craigslist jobs that's just selling knives
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May 24, 2016 01:41
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Please do not, we use the same system as USAJobs.gov. B...bu...but that's how all the baby boomers told me to get a job...
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May 24, 2016 01:45
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Y-Hat posted:this better not be one of those craigslist jobs that's just selling knives You just go tell people what a piece of poo poo their knives are and how they can't cook for poo poo but then tell them you have a product for a retard like them. It not hard jeez. 
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May 24, 2016 01:48
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Please do not, we use the same system as USAJobs.gov. You truly must be evil
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May 24, 2016 01:56
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HJE-Cobra posted:You truly must be evil BEERLIOZ ENTERPRISES accepts nothing less
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May 24, 2016 02:01
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I sell stamp bags to Beelioz's cousin who has some interesting stories about the '86 family reunion. Tsk, tsk, Hector.
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May 24, 2016 02:15
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Mr beerlolz, I am an 8 ft tall living banana, that's trained to effectively use, and is in possession of one (1) mounted anti-personnel machine gun. Please let me know if you'd be interested in seeing the rest of my resumé. Also, have experience in management; able to provide references if needed
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May 24, 2016 02:38
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The Bananana posted:Mr beerlolz, I am an 8 ft tall living banana, that's trained to effectively use, and is in possession of one (1) mounted anti-personnel machine gun.
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May 24, 2016 02:46
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Did not capitalize Beerlioz: rejected Is your name beerlolz? If not, then, technically I did not fail to capitalize your name.
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May 24, 2016 02:48
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The Bananana posted:Is your name beerlolz? If not, then, technically I did not fail to capitalize your name. pm sent
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May 24, 2016 02:49
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