|
Darthemed posted:Loving the Reptile Werner Herzog directs this remarkable documentary covering the later life and sudden death of Slythe Slayer (nee John Smith). Herzog offers us tremendous insight into a man so obsessed with lizard people conspiracy theories that he accidentally caused his own death after spending years attempting to breed a litter of mongooses capable of enacting what he called Operation Jade Skin. Featuring impressive free form interviews with those closest to Slayer and an impromptu trip to the White House, we get a snake eye's view of someone who felt like the only sane man in an insane world. Herzog's risky location shooting and wryly grim humor delivers an incredible case study in madness that forces us to ask ourselves if we would ever shed our own skin in a world free of consequences. The Evergreen Game
|
#
?
Dec 23, 2016 06:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:20 |
|
|
Neo Rasa posted:The Evergreen Game Lonely hobbit schoolboy Dragot Bigtoe makes friends with a pair of tall green twin trees he meets while roaming around the shire, after several happy weeks he is distraught to discover the twins are in fact Ents, and are suffering terrible loneliness as they cant find their Ent wives. Dragot decides to help his new companions. (To be filmed over three features, total running time 748 years) Suddenly Harry stops.
|
|
#
?
Dec 24, 2016 04:02
|
|
|
504 posted:Suddenly Harry stops. Suddenly Harry Stops [1987] directed by C.A. Rosenberg A violent killer stalks the streets of Miami, targeting prostitutes, strippers and escorts. The crime scenes are the same: the women are found nude, killed with a meat cleaver, with their left foot removed. Besides the carnage, the only clue: at each crime scene, the killer leaves a note written in the victim's blood: "Harry" Detective Logan Lorenzo is a rough cop with his own risks in his life: the police department is experiencing budget cuts and his job is on the line, his reputation for going off the rails keeps him from having a partner, and he secretly visits the local brothels for some much-needed stress relief. He befriends Flora, a prostitute with heart of gold trying to work her way through school. But as soon as Detective Lorenzo and Flora get close, Flora starts getting love letters from a secret admirer named "Harry". This is Detective Lorenzo's last chance: find the killer and bring him to justice, protect the city's escorts and the girl he loves, and save his career. But every time Lorenzo gets close to solving the case and identifying the killer... Suddenly Harry Stops! "Brutal and disgusting, makes your skin crawl!" -Fangoria "A modern classic! So twisted, your head will spin!" Bloody-Disgusting Next title: Butterfly Skin Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 13:32 on Apr 18, 2017 |
|
#
?
Apr 18, 2017 13:12
|
|
|
Franchescanado posted:Next title: Butterfly Skin Butterfly Skin (2013) For Jasmine, every day is a new struggle. Her teachers don't like her, she's facing false rumors about herself online, and her parents, though they provide her with everything she asks for, seem too out of touch for her to get help from them. The only friends she recognizes having are the ones she draws in her notebook, and as school life gets tougher, she retreats more and more into their company. One day, she wakes up to find everyone around her replaced with real-life versions of her characters, and a pair of iridescent wings on her back. Will Jasmine find a place in this new world, or will she find the inner strength to return home and face junior-high adversity? Based on the 2012 young adult novel by Holly Goodsmith. Next title: Burnt Leaves
|
|
#
?
May 19, 2017 01:59
|
|
|
Darthemed posted:
The entire summary from Animationland! FilmTerrier's Complete Home Video Guide: We don't know HOW they made a sequel to "Dead Leaves" that's even weirder than the original but they did. What a time to be alive! Next: "Opabina Joan"
|
|
#
?
May 19, 2017 04:20
|
|
|
Rahonavis posted:
Review by special critic Jack Heylin taken from New York Post, September 15, 1995: "Opabina Joan" is inexplicable, possibly illegal What do we really know about Joan of Arc, the mythical French farm girl who became the military leader of France during the Hundred Years' War? According to filmmaker Paul Tractenbaum, much less than we realize. Best remembered for a phone call he made to the radio show Coast To Coast that made the morning show circuit a few years ago in which host Art Bell called him a "delusional nutjob who seriously needs to be medicated", Tractenbaum has somehow managed to raise the money to produce his dream project: a six-hour documentary called Opabina Joan, which was shown to critics (without an intermission, may I add) yesterday at an obscure theater off 43rd St. I feel like the Post owes me hazard pay after sitting through this travesty of cinema. Tractenbaum's "documentary" claims to prove that Joan of Arc was in fact NOT a young farm girl inspired by religious visions to take up the sword, but instead a complex pneumatic puppet operated by a team of five-eyed, long extinct worm-like insects, who wanted the British repelled from France so they could seize control of deep-water spawning grounds of the coast of Wales from a troupe of evil hyper-intelligent dolphins supported by the Plantagenets. If you thought that paragraph was insane to read, imagine watching it as the most incompetant documentary feature ever made and you might get a tiny hint of my ordeal. To save time, let me share with you some notes I took during the movie:
In conclusion, I am certain this is not a real movie. I am less certain whether it is some sort of war crime. I have sent a letter to the UN Human Rights Commission, and I will do my best to make sure their opinion is printed in this paper. Until then, stay away from 43rd if you value your life. The Fax of Life
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 04:41
|
|
|
Jim Carrey stars as Graham Roberts, a collector of oddities. While browsing through a yard sale, he comes across an old fax machine which he snaps up for his collection. Talking it back to his workshop, he tinkerers around trying to get it to work, but cannot. Until at one point he exclaims "why won't you work? ". At this point the fax machine roars into life and prints out "because I was waiting for a question". Its turns out that the fax machine will answer truthfully any question asked in its presence. Initially Graham uses this to his advantage to find out the desired if that hot next door neighbor and won a few bets. Eventually he realises he can ask the ultimate question, "what is the meaning of life?" Before he can do this, a power surge breaks the fax. So it's now up to him and an enigmatic and unusual repairman that he met recently, to get the machine working again. Can Graham Roberts find the parts to find the ultimate truth? You'll have to wait and see. As for my movie, I would like to know the plot of... In bed by Sunday
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 13:58
|
|
|
EDIT: Too late. My bad Let's Kidnap Adam Sandler
|
|
#
?
May 22, 2017 14:42
|
|
|
Tsietisin posted:In Bed By Sunday (I liked both movies, so I'm kinda gonna do both suggestions.) Noah Parkhurst (Adam Sandler) is the sole heir to the massive Parkhurst multimedia empire built by his parents (John Lithgow and Sally Field), but he couldn't care less. He's dying from a cancer that the greatest oncologists on earth can't even find, much less treat, yet hasn't killed him in the 25 years since he first sought treatment. Why? Because Noah doesn't have cancer, of course. He's delusional, but his parents encourage his delusion since it keeps him out of their hair, and flying in doctors is still cheaper than bankrolling a hard-partying jet-setter. So Noah has spent decades in a private room in a New York City oncology center, his only real friends the employees of the center . . . until the day his new nurse Violet (Octavia Spencer) misreads his chart and Noah gets his first-ever roommate: kindergarten teacher Sunday Stein (Ellen Page). Though Noah starts out hating her for interrupting the life he has and "interfering with his treatment", Sunday's kindness, spirit, and determination not to let her late-stage disease define her inspire Noah, and the two slowly become friends, which unexpectedly blossoms into something more. Noah and Sunday are happy. . . until she takes a dramatic turn for the worse. Noah summons his parents to ask them to pay for an expensive experimental treatment for her, and they reject him. That's when Noah comes up with a plan: with the help of Violet, Ramiro the janitor (Rob Schneider), Chip the orderly (Kevin James), and a hippy flower vendor named Happiness Murphy (Jeff Bridges), Noah fakes his own kidnapping, planning to use the ransom money to get Sunday treated. When the plan doesn't work like Noah expected, can he embrace the truth about himself in time to save the woman he loves? Next up, try either: Time Machine Bigfoot or Necronomiconomics
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 06:23
|
|
|
HypnoCabbage posted:Necronomiconomics Gleonard Schtain (Kevin Hart) is a con man fresh out of his latest stint in jail, who can only get a job at a used bookstore. While shelving, he finds an old book labelled "Qanoon-e-Islam" by J. Dee, which he opens and discovers is the lost English translation of the original Necronomicon. He tries out a summoning spell and invokes a wise-cracking sidekick in a yellow bathrobe named Hastur (Jake Busey). Emboldened by his success, he begins to sell his demon-summoning and spellcasting services online, accepting only Bitcoin as he dodges the authorities. But his actions and wealth draw the attention of Nyarlathotep (Christopher Walken), who flash crashes the market valuation of Bitcoin for the love of chaos. Will Gleonard recover financially? Will thousands of nerds team up to combat Nyarlathotep's meddling? Can Gleonard win the heart of his neighbor (Sofia Vergara) who, unbeknownst to him, has purchased one of his love spells and is planning to use it on Hastur? ...and I will see your awful pun named movie and raise you - Ventriloquisition
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 07:35
|
|
|
Abugadu posted:
Guardian Cannes Live Blog: Day 4 Aging Dutch enfant terrible Jerome van der Hookplaet returns from his self imposed exile with this perfectly awful curio, destined to go down in Cannes history as one of the most dreadful films ever screened, an excuse for one of cinemas greatest windbags to bloviate at punishing length. Ostensibly it is a retelling of the Spanish Inquisition, as performed by troupe of traditional Basque puppeteers against a surrealist backdrop of swirling digital paintings, and voiced by members of the experimental noise band 'XX1C1C-1' This high concept piffle would be bad enough, but Hookplaet intercuts scenes of the puppetry (which has a slight, if brief, charm of its own) with news footage of the Ukrainian Revolution and long, long sequences of the director speaking directly to camera. This latter aspect tips Ventriloquisition into the realm of the truly dire. Hookplaet - who has spent the last 15 years on a pseudo-spiritual retreat in Suriname - has concocted an impenetrable personal philosophy mixing various flavours of Eastern mysticism, green-marxism and a weird dollop of libertarianism - and is determined to impart this wisdom to his audience (which in this screening, started out sparse and quickly became sparser). Next one The formula is lost! BeigeJacket fucked around with this message at 11:08 on May 23, 2017 |
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 11:00
|
|
|
BeigeJacket posted:The formula is lost! Paulie Shore, Yahoo Serious, and Yakov Smirnoff star as a trio of mad scientists in this forgotten direct-to-VHS mockumentary from 1991. A sendup of Cold War era pseudoscience, the three embark on a top secret international plan between the US, Australia, and USSR to splice genes between their respective countries' indigenous species in order to populate their new nation, Austrussiamerica. But while the scientists meet in Vladivostok to travel west across Siberia to their secret lab, a major volcanic earthquake tears the USSR apart and splits it into several pieces - oddly prescient as the USSR would dissolve later that year - and the formula to create their new nation is lost in the disaster. It's madcap fun as the three island-hop through the newly lava-torn archipelago to attempt to recreate their formula out of the DNA of several animals, only to finally realize that they can simply claim the new islands that used to make up the Motherland. Filmed in black and white, the lava effects were mostly done via a series of sheets and a flashlight, with visible crew underneath. However, even the shoestring budget couldn't make a profit, as no copy was ever sold and only aired once on a local access station in a remote area of Wyoming at 3:22 AM on a Tuesday, and its runtime was a paltry 18 minutes. Bae of Pigs
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 12:57
|
|
|
sticklefifer posted:Bae of Pigs The Five Swords of Master Wu
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 21:08
|
|
|
The five swords of Master Wu This is an autobiographical tale of the origins of King Wu of Han in the 100's BC. It starts with his early years growing up in the emperors palace, to taking the throne at an early age. The now emperor Wu sets about expanding the Chinese empire along with his five most trusted generals. between them they cave into the landscape of Asia, growing the territory with each passing battle. As time continues, the emperor tires of battle and wishes for peace. Although his generals want him to continue his expansion, he instead takes up the beliefs of Confucianism and the five constants of benevolence, righteousness, proper rite, knowledge and integrity are his new five swords. The next movie... A Capella dreams
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 22:12
|
|
|
Tsietisin posted:A Capella dreams Frank Capella is a middle-aged professor going through a mid-life crisis. He's never dreamed before. He longs for any sort of dream - even nightmares. His wife's best friend is a psychiatrist and offers to put him into hypnosis to find out why he doesn't dream. She finds nothing and Frank decides to live with the fact he can't dream. Except one day, he sees strange things happening. He'll be driving to work and suddenly feeling like he's falling through the air. Another time, he found himself inexplicably naked in front of his college class. Perhaps he's been dreaming all this time and now reality is much harsher than he realized. Next movie.. Twist Ending
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2017 23:42
|
|
|
Egbert Souse posted:Twist Ending Ollie Twist is a young boy in 2085's America. Growing up an orphan in a war-torn country, he migrates from shelter to shelter, always seeking refuge from bullies and abusive parent-figures seeking his labor as an innocuous vehicle for heroin transactions. Eventually, he is forced to ask "for more" punishment from a sex dungeon master who deals in sadistic spanking. After three hearty spanks, he snaps -- seeking revenge against all his former antagonists against this new one. He attempts to stand up for himself, and the dungeon security personnel subdue his fragile 10 year old body repeatedly until he dies. Next: What's Eating All These Grapes?
|
|
#
?
Jul 25, 2017 08:48
|
|
|
Jay-V posted:What's Eating All These Grapes? Observational comedy galore in Jerry Seinfeld's return to the director's seat for the ill-conceived sequel uniting two critically panned movies from Seinfeld and his partner in crime, Larry David. Sour Grapes and the Bee Movie are reconstituted in a story about grape eating larvae with discerning taste. Next: Beware the Cougar Anne Frank Funk fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Jul 25, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jul 25, 2017 09:35
|
|
|
Pierogi posted:Next: Beware the Cougar Next: Butter and Salt
|
|
#
?
Jul 26, 2017 02:11
|
|
|
Darthemed posted:Next: Butter and Salt It is 1930, and though vaudeville is starting to fade, nobody debates who the biggest stars on Broadway are: the legendary comedy duo Butter and Salt! Though they haven't hit the heights that the Marx Brothers have gone on to, most people believe that the act, composed of straight-man Irving Salzman (Kevin Spacey) and jolly, chubby master of the German-accented punchline Hans Buttermacher (John Goodman), is the next to break out. But the men quietly resent each other behind the other's back over money and fame, and their personal failings are keeping them back. Salt is a gifted and business-savvy comedy writer, but his arrogant attitude and reclusive tendencies have made him enough enemies to hamper his career. Meanwhile, Butter is famously kind and beloved around town, but he doesn't do much more than deliver Salt's witty lines, and he's desperate for affection and praise... which his new, very attractive German girlfriend Liesl (Hayden Panettiere) is using to draw him into the orbit of the Nazi sympathizers of the German-American Bund and its leader Fritz Julius Kuhn (Woody Harrelson). Finally, a movie deal is worked out; Butter and Salt are about to get their shot. One final grand performance is planned before they go off to Hollywood. But Butter and Salt's resentment of each other has been stoked to the breaking point by outside forces and their broken personalities... and the ending isn't going to be funny. A Flaming Bag Of My Heart HypnoCabbage fucked around with this message at 03:04 on Jul 27, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jul 27, 2017 02:09
|
|
|
HypnoCabbage posted:A Flaming Bag Of My Heart dir: Dario Bava written by Dario Bava, Lambarto Fulci, Sergio Lenzi "A giallo classic that takes the conventions of rom-coms, breaks them in half and watches them bleed." Donna (Edwige Fenech) is ready for her wedding night to Raymond, an actor and playwright known for murder mysteries. The moment they are to say "I do", a chandelier falls and crushes Donna, Raymond and the priest. Raymond and the priest are instantly killed, and Donna is put into a coma. Years later she awakes to a failing memory, a lustful desire, and ghostly visions of her dead fiance and faceless people. Donna believes the only way she can fix her memory is to find a new fiance and marry him. However, her new libido gives her a running list of suitors that keeps growing and growing. Soon Donna meets the priest's sister, Lisa (Anita Strindberg), who believes that Donna's wedding was sabotaged by a jealous stalker. Since Donna's awakening, there's been a string of unsolved murders of beautiful women, all of whom look like Donna. Donna and Lisa decide to find the killer before the killer finds Donna! However, Donna might not have to look far--the killer might be one of her suitors! The only person Donna can trust is the beautiful Lisa. Or can she? Lisa may have her own romantic ideas towards Donna. And what of these ghostly visions? Are they all in Donna's head, or are they the sign of something sinister and supernatural?! Filled with twists, violence, blood, and sexuality! A thrilling giallo with a dark sense of humor! An early Dario Bava film, notable for it's colorful palettes of purples, greens and blues, lighting, energetic camera, and (of course) beautiful women. Ahead with Nobody
|
|
#
?
Jul 27, 2017 14:32
|
|
|
Taken from Film Reviewmagazine, August 2012: Ahead with Nobody 2012 Director: Thomas Ellerwyn Starring: Ewan Jones, Alwyn Davies, Luke Ellerwyn 226 minutes **** (out of 4) From their founding in the late 1950's, Welsh rock band Ahead was. . . well, ahead of their time. While the world was just beginning to place classic rock and roll in the mainstream, Ahead was experimenting with music unlike anything heard before. Led by the unmatched wizardry of guitarist Alwyn Davies and the haunting tenor vibrato of lead singer Luke Ellerwyn, Ahead's embrace of revolutionary analog studio processing technology and an instrument called the Mixturtrautonium (one of the forerunners of the synthesizer) created an entirely unique sound. They never had a song chart in the Billboard Top 500, or even really received any notice at all from the general public, but the 3 albums they released before their breakup in 1967 became a vital part of the musical evolution of bands like King Crimson, Yes, and Pink Floyd. It is not an understatement to say that Ahead were the pioneers of progressive rock, and they influenced every band who came after them in some way. Flash forward to 2011. Thanks to the use of part of their 1959 song "The Wreck of the Phaedrus Upon the Rocks of Nineveh" in a car commercial, Ahead finally had a bit of attention and popularity, and the members of the band, having spent their post-band lives trapped in menial blue-collar jobs, reformed quickly to cash in on the attention with a hastily planned tour of clubs in the US and Europe. This documentary, shot by Luke Ellerwyn's son Thomas, was originally planned to be packaged with the collector's edition of a planned 4th Ahead album, to be called "The Unplanned Resurrection". It was to serve as a diary of the legendary resurrection and tour of a great, oft ignored rock band. Instead, it wound up chronicling an unspeakable tragedy. On their way to the first show of the tour at Cardiff rock club Bogiez, the van the band was riding in was sideswiped by a bus and crashed into a tree at almost 70 miles per hour. All 4 members of the band were killed instantly. The cameras, already set up to capture the show, recorded the anguish when the deaths were announced. What happened next makes the film one of the most powerful music documentaries ever made. The show attracted the band's most ardent fans (including a few rock luminaries), and as the cameras roll, these fans, tears still in their eyes, turn the stage into a wake and finally an impromptu concert, with a rotating cast of mostly amateur musicians soulfully performing most of Ahead's catalog with amazing talent and emotion. Incredibly moving and powerful, especially the final performance of the film, the song "Let Life Grow From the Cracks", which reduces everyone (and likely the audience as well) to utter emotional ruin. One of the best music documentaries ever made. Highly recommended. Guess What's In My Pants!
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2017 20:33
|
|
|
HypnoCabbage posted:Guess What's In My Pants! Dir. Joe Eszterhas Screenplay Joe Eszterhas & Fred C. Caruso and Hilary Henkin 86m, color Nobody does starfucking like Hollywood does starfucking, and Eszterhas wants one last bite at the apple. Guess What's In My Pants is another movie about Hollywood starring literally everyone in cameos. Eszterhas finally gets behind the camera and proves himself a disastrous mess, unable to shoot anything but the most rudimentary pickups as he bumbles through a slight plot about the joke that gets away from its star and takes on a life of its own. Emilio Estevez, clearly slumming thinking Guess What's In My Pants will be his Pulp Fiction, could not be more mistaken as he tries to breath life into movie star Blaine Median, former ladies' man and rumored to have a 13" penis, as he tries to do a press junket for his new art-house comeback where no late-night host will let him talk about anything but the titular pants-filling item, and the Full Monty at the end will satisfy no one but pornographic special effects nerds. The comparisons to Burn Hollywood Burn are apt, as this not only feels like a retread, but also somehow even shallower and less interesting. Eszterhas remembers Hollywood in the 80s; the only difference is, all of us can look back, shake our heads and say "wow, what a gross time, glad we've evolved" while Eszterhas pines openly for a return to the sleaze that birthed him. *½ / **** Next: Chains of Mephistopholes
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2017 21:23
|
|
|
Chains of Mephistopholes 1987; dir. Franklin Saovi Donner DelGato has spent every year since since graduating high school working dead-end jobs. An epiphany of hopelessness occurs during Donner's 30th birthday party: his high school friends are starting families, making moves in their careers, and facing the tribulations of adulthood with blank smiles and endless optimism while Donner drowns in student debts for a degree in history and working the graveyard shift stocking a local bookstore. Donner decides it's time to make a change and applies for a new collections agency that promises growth and opportunity. He meets the owner, Mister M., and is quickly offered the job. All he has to do is sign the dotted line and get to work. Donner should have read the fine print. His first day on the job is not what he expected. Instead of cubicle work dialing phones and talking to strangers, Donner's making house visits. He's quick to find out he's not collecting monetary debts, he's collecting souls of mortals who have made deals with demons. Donner can't quit, because he's signed his own contract: he has to collect the souls or sacrifice his own. Signing the contract also opened his eyes to the real world where the supernatural is everywhere. His mundane life is now filled with the bizarre: zombies, demons, inter-dimensional creatures, angels, chupacabras, ghosts, talking bats, sexually frustrated trees, sentient office supplies, and a succubus who's tired of one-night stands and wants to settle down with a mortal. Not to mention his new boss, Mr. M has a nasty temper and a creativity for punishments. Can Donner survive these mind-breaking horrors? Will he save the souls of humanity, or will he have to sacrifice his own? Will he get employee of the month? Next: Tube Snake Boogie
|
|
#
?
Sep 26, 2017 15:47
|
|
|
A ground breaking anal pornograpy film, detailing the real life story of a young man with a huge penis and very long and vigorous seizures. This truth is a lie Gerrory Archer.
|
|
#
?
Sep 26, 2017 19:41
|
|
|
504 posted:This truth is a lie Gerrory Archer. Excerpt from the Movie Goober podcast, ep 352: MIKE: Of course, it can't hold a candle to Mabel Fererro's This Truth Is A Lie, Gerrory Archer. NED: No, not at all. Fererro's command of the camera is masterly- MIKE: Masterly- NED: -and her script, adapted from-...? MIKE: Ted Sutherland's Upland NED: Right, right. It's a model of concise storytelling. MIKE: It really is. NED: For those who haven't seen it, Fererro's This Truth Is A Lie, Gerrory Archer is a film in the style of Agnes Varda's Cleo from 5 to 7, following a schoolboy in a nearly unbroken sequence of events after school. MIKE: I thought the Italian setting was unusual. NED: Particularly since it's in English. MIKE: I liked the slow realization of how the events are linked. The way his childhood illusions of his bougie life- NED: -bougie- MIKE: -are slowly, methodically even, kind of, uh- NED: Shattered? MIKE: Yes, that's a good word. By the halfway point you feel almost as much despair for him as he does for himself. NED: They cast a great kid. MIKE: Yeah, he's really wretched, isn't he? NED: And I loved his gradual, like, self-saving, you know? Kind of picking himself back up and learning how to fend for himself. MIKE: The bit where his friends spit on him was brutal. NED: [laughing] Just brutal. Great filmmaking. MIKE: So that's This Truth Is A Lie. NED: Out this-... MIKE: November. Wide in November. NED: Check it out. next: The Man Who Couldn't Stop Urinating
|
|
#
?
Sep 26, 2017 21:47
|
|
|
Magic Hate Ball posted:
Gifted, perfectionistic Renaissance sculptor Alexandre Pirochamp (Jim Carrey), desperate to escape his nagging mother (Margo Martindale), leaves France to accept a commission from Duke Antonio di Garizano (John Cleese) to create a grand marble fountain in the town square of a Lombard village called Triano. But the job is a disaster. Duke Antonio insists that Alexandre work from a single huge block of Sicilian marble with the fountain holes already in it. Worse, the duke continuously changes his mind about what the fountain should be, forcing Alexandre to start over and chip away more and more of the block. On the seventh version of the fountain, with barely enough marble left to complete the fountain in time for the unveiling, Alexandre is visited by the Duke, who decides that not only will Alexandre be replaced by his nemesis,the great Michaelangelo (Tom Hardy), but he also will not be paid for his work. Seething, Alexandre decides to seek his vengeance by remaking the fountain in a single night...to an anatomically-accurate statue of Duke Antonio, forever pissing on his beloved Triano. A gang of brigands and their leader Sachioli (Johnny Galecki) help him concoct a daring plan to sneak to the now heavily guarded square to make the changes. But to get the most important detail right, Alexandre will have to enlist the help of the Duke's favorite blind prostitute (Ana de Armas), and Bertollio (Louis C.K.), a cynical Benedictine monk with a mysterious past and a flock of trained pigeons. Can Alexandre pull off his madcap heist, humiliate his rival, and shame Duke Antonio forever? Nobody Nose: The Trouble I've Seen HypnoCabbage fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Sep 27, 2017 |
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2017 06:38
|
|
|
HypnoCabbage posted:Gifted, perfectionistic Renaissance sculptor Alexandre Pirochamp (Jim Carrey), desperate to escape his nagging mother (Margo Martindale), leaves France to accept a commission from Duke Antonio di Garizano (John Cleese) to create a grand marble fountain in the town square of a Lombard village called Triano. I had something entirely else in mind but I'd watch the heck out of this.
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2017 08:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 24, 2024 14:20 |
|
|
HypnoCabbage posted:Nobody Nose: The Trouble I've Seen Despite his generous schnoz size, Normie "The Nose" Dipiero never stood out in the mafia. He was never much more than a hanger-on and when all of his friends ended up either dead or in the slammer, he was left an afterthought in the world of organized crime. After falling in love with Cindy, a pure-hearted and naïve rookie policewoman, Normie decides to call it quits and leave his empty life of crime behind. Unfortunately, when he goes to ask to be cut loose, he accidentally stumbles upon a shocking conspiracy never meant for his eyes. Now Normie and Cindy are on the run, chased by various crime families and corrupt police officers over the truth he's witnessed. This former nobody used to be the most overlooked mobster, but now it seems everyone wants to pick the Nose... apart! Hubris: To Slay a God
|
|
#
?
Sep 27, 2017 19:26
|
|
