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Cats have it together. My cat just brought me a bird. You know I'm cooking that fucker up for dinner tonight! I love my little, furry psychopath of the animal kingdom!
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Jun 17, 2016 23:42
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:21 |
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Serviette posted:Cats have it together. My cat just brought me a bird. You know I'm cooking that fucker up for dinner tonight! i really appreciate how they come with the entrails pre-removed and spread all over my porch
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Jun 18, 2016 00:10
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Has anyone here never been to a *CAT CIRCUS* before?!?   CATS RULE U YOLNT
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Jun 18, 2016 02:20
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:Has anyone here never been to a Does it involve pranking the poo poo out of cats?
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Jun 18, 2016 03:47
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No its like a million cats and they each can do one stage trick which, on-stage, is pretty fuckin' spectacular for a cat! 
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Jun 18, 2016 04:07
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:No its like a million cats and they each can do one stage trick which, on-stage, is pretty fuckin' spectacular for a cat! Yes Ok But do they prank them I want to see cat pranks
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Jun 18, 2016 04:14
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years ago i conducted my own resarch into cats and my conclusions are thus: cats are a big smelly pains in the asses
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Jun 18, 2016 04:20
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we provided 24 randomly selected feral cats with a broadband internet connection and a self-dispensing purina machine that rewards food on confirmed social interaction. 2 cats found facebook and liked every post they could find. 8 cats spent the next 12 hours updating their linkedin profiles with job history at the local humane society and buzzwords like "petsmart". all 24 cats logged into somethingawful to post in gbs, with 12 still posting at this very minute. verdict: nimrod window lickers
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Jun 18, 2016 04:33
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I'm not a cat person myself. But I do think that, when one is posed the question "are cats smart?", the only answer can be "why, yes... yes, they are!" Cats have many attributes which point towards them being incredibly cunning, just diabolical masterminds of all manner of calamity and disaster. Let me show you a little bit of evidence supporting this behaviour I speak of in them. Cats are strong proponents of various stealth manouvres and are masters of disguise. They rely on it sometimes for survival, other times it seems they'll pull a stealth move just to be tricky. A tricky arsehole. Take the below cat for example, it's blending in to its surroundings so well that the pigeon has no idea of the cat's presence or the imminent danger it faces...  Before their prey knows what's hit them, *WHAMMO*, a cat will pop up from seemingly out of nowhere...  Have a look at the below cat, will ya?! Look how shady it's being! Here we have a black cat pretending to be a white cat. You'd barely notice unless it was pointed out, it's just mind-boggling what cats will get up to. I don't think it deliberately had the "black-face" or "paint-face" (or whatever that racial taboo thingo is called) for the racist slant. Rather, it had merely put on a cunning disguise to hide from its owners, possibly masquerading as one of the other cats in the household...  Or check out this one below, it's barely noticeable. You find yourself doing a cartoonish head-swivel double-take as it suddenly dawns on you - oh that pussy is a real pussy, it's camouflage is so professional that I didn't even realise it was there! Cats are cunning, cunning creatures who are highly intelligent and adaptable...  But it's not only in camouflage stealth that cats excel. Many will also subscribe to the "keep your friends close, your enemies closer" theory...  ..and seemingly put it into practice to lure their foes into a false sense of security. Awww look at the helpful pussycat pushing his li'l doggy friend on a ride. But what may not be immediately apparent here from the below photograph is that they're on an incredibly steep incline and the toy horse is gonna go careening downhill out of control at any moment. The doggeh is riding side-saddle... and only holding the reins loosely... and he hasn't even got his little paws in the bloody stirrups! That poor li'l puppeh is gonna come a cropper in a bad way for a sure, possibly breaking a leg or causing untold internal injuries, smh. This cat here is not being cute or friendly; it's just being a sneaky heinous creature...  Awww look at the cute pussycat basking in the afternoon sunshine. Does catteh want a pat? Next thing you know, before you can blink and before you know it, *BLAMMO*, you've been viciously slashed and kitteh is licking your blood from its paws...  (Sidenote: you can see that even imgur is agreeing with me here, and have shown their support by hand selecting a special code to give me for this pic. That code is saying that the cat in image is viciously deflectin' the human touch that it itself procured and lured into being given to it. Even imgur knows what smart cunning villains cats are!) Awww look at the cute pussycat! Does pwetty pussy wanna be picked up for a cuddle-wuddle? Come here pussy-wussy. With no indication and before you can say Jack Robinson, *SHAZZAM*, you've lost both of your eyeballs, gouged out in a spiteful attack by catteh who was sick of you ogling the pretty fluffy pussy...  What this all boils down to, and which the catteh folks adamantly claim with the passion of a zealot, is that cats are the bees knees if you want a furry li'l friend hanging around...  ..and, yeah sure, there's definitely worse choices than choosing cats when selecting the type of furry companion to have...  (Sidenote: what imgur is saying here, by the code they've given me for this image, is that this was a country possum, born and bred; and he's basically telling the chick who took him with her to the big smoke (expressing to her the only way he knows how to) "I hate your city, duhhh!") ..definitely much, much worse choices one could make...  ..definitely much, much, MUCH WORSE choices...  ..and cats aren't like the bottom of the barrel when deciding on a furry friend...  BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT PEOPLE! Cats are incredibly intelligent creatures, with an in-bred cunning smarts...  ..and they may well turn on you like a dime one day. One day. 
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Jun 18, 2016 06:00
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Thank you for your thoughtful and educational post. You have really opened my eyes to the wide world of cats!
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Jun 18, 2016 06:07
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i taught my cats to talk but all they say is "make your time" advice op? 
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Jun 18, 2016 06:34
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Cats are: - Not very bright - Cute - Super Soft - Murderers - Funny - Curious - Troublemakers - Stress Causers - Stress Relievers
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Jun 18, 2016 07:52
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Maldoror posted:Cats are: Much like attractive women
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Jun 18, 2016 07:53
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I offered my cat some yogurt pretzels but he didn't want any. They're good as hell though! What a stupid rear end in a top hat!!!!
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Jun 18, 2016 08:01
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Ork of Fiction posted:I offered my cat some yogurt pretzels but he didn't want any. They're good as hell though! What a stupid rear end in a top hat!!!! give him a whisker lickins crunchy chicken and seafood flavor treat he will eat it
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Jun 18, 2016 08:05
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cats are stupid loving assholes
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Jun 18, 2016 10:15
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Cats poop in places that are hidden and cover it up. Dogs poop anywhere convenient even if in own play area and will run in it. Conclusion: cats smarter than dogs
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Jun 18, 2016 10:24
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My cat just tried to headbutt my leg but I guess he doesn't understand depth perception because he was way off and fell down. Cat dumb.
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Jun 18, 2016 11:46
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i asked my cat to take intelligence test but he just make swears at me and maybe hoodlum gang sign?? ? I am worried for cat and also of shame cat mother
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Jun 18, 2016 11:46
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ok gently caress it. here is the truth? all that poo poo you guys been posting? some dumb poo poo. what i got? the 100% verified truth here. check it: 
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Jun 18, 2016 11:51
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Wee Stubby Nublet posted:
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Jun 18, 2016 14:59
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If cats were stupid could they do this? http://imgur.com/gallery/kNKLJGT
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Jun 18, 2016 15:32
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Cats are dumb as hell
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Jun 18, 2016 17:24
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they're not aloof and mysterious, they're just so stupid they can't remember anything for more than 10 minutes
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Jun 18, 2016 17:26
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Jun 18, 2016 17:27
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I was watching Maury, this one cat was on the show 20 times and still hadn't found her kitten daddy
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Jun 18, 2016 18:24
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my cat used to groom my hair while I slept so I would wake up with a wet cat spit head which I think is pretty smart because I didn't have to wash it so I had time to feed her VERDICT: pretty darn smart
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Jun 18, 2016 18:32
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One of my cats camped out in front of a kitchen cabinet all day, every day for almost two weeks. Yesterday, he got the mouse. That's persistence.
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Jun 18, 2016 19:25
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FuturePastNow posted:One of my cats camped out in front of a kitchen cabinet all day, every day for almost two weeks. Yesterday, he got the mouse. That's persistence. Also smart. He doesn't have the manual dexterity to build a trap, so he hung out long enough for the mouse to get used to his scent.
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Jun 18, 2016 19:41
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Marta Velasquez posted:We showed 30 cats the D&D forum and asked them to post. In all cases, the cat in question chose to lick itself instead, never once touching the keyboard. verdict: intelligent you fool, cats post there all the time here's some exclusive video footage: https://fat.gfycat.com/ImpoliteSinfulBuzzard.webm
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Jun 18, 2016 21:11
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Defiance posted:Thank you for your thoughtful and educational post. You have really opened my eyes to the wide world of cats! You're most welcome, Defiance. *flashes you a big cheesy... of the grin variety*  reignofevil posted:I wish this picture had a cat in it because it is otherwise perfect. I got it covered there, boss. I got it covered. Hmmm. Well, wasn't that quite the deja vu experience for me, eh! Our little exchange there reminded me of an incident around a decade or so ago. It's exactly the same as how it went down then! I've just had a ferret around in my drawers... and I've come up with the USB containing the images, so I'll be able to show you the actual photographic evidence as I tell you about this little incident that happened to me around a decade or so ago. It was just after the turn of the century, the great recession had hit, and times were real tough. I was working in a meme factory at the time. Gone were the heady days of lolcats and pedobears to earn you a quick and easy quid, this was one of the last meme factories still operating in the country. And people were losing their jobs there every day. On this one particular day, I fronted up to the boss' office with an image which I hoped would be the next big craze to take the internets by storm and secure me a hefty Christmas bonus. That image... He looked it over, grimaced, and said to me... reignofevil posted:I wish this picture had a cat in it because it is otherwise perfect. Aghast that I'd made a fundamental error so basic, I quickly scooped up my pic off his desk and scurried out muttering "I got it covered there, boss. I got it covered." As I sat back down in my cubicle, my face flaming red, I looked at the picture and wondered what the gently caress does he mean? Like, what does he actually loving want here? I knew my job was on the line and my name was gonna be one of the ones called out at the end of the day, being told that times are tough for the company and I gotta be let go. There was no way I could ask my boss what he meant by a cat in the pic - to do so would no doubt get me instant dismissal for being so stupid as needing to ask. But I had to come up with something to fix, since I'd already been so bold to approach him with a pic... a pic that he, in some way, who loving knows what way, wasn't happy with. So, I put my thinking cap on and went to work on my flawed image to make it perfect. First, I was thinking, maybe he just means a cat in the picture, like this...  What could be more perfect as to what he asked for? A picture of a cat in the picture... perfect! But then I thought, he's gonna think I'm being a smartarse mocking him, maybe I should make it a bit more classy. So, I thought, candles! They're classy and will up-class anything...  But then I thought, no, it's still too smartarsey. All I really wanted to do was put a dick in the picture - her open mouth and wide eyes/arms are just made for a giant dick. (Sidenote: *looks up at Defiance in the slammer for a week* I feel for ya, buddy. I too have a filthy dirty mind and like to add rude bits in where I can. ) But, no, the boss'd be having none of that. Maybe he meant like this... Or maybe it was like this he meant...  Or maybe he didn't mean any replacement, but more like this...  Or perhaps this would be better...  ...and I could make it dark and dramatic, with lasers coming out the cats eyes? Kids love lasers these days, yeah, lasers will win him over...  And she could use lasercat to build a forcefield around herself to protect her from any laser ricochet coming back and hitting them both...  And she needed the forcefield of protection because she is gonna jam her lefthand thumb down hard on the turbo-boost button which gives lasercat a hit of nitro, so lasers come flying thick and fast out of her lasercatteh...  And because nitro injected turbo-boosted lasercatteh is just too strong the goat suddenly bursts into flames...  As I was sitting there, looking at my fresh hip new meme that was hopefully gonna take the Internet world by storm, I though to myself - this is just stupid, it's hosed! Lasers are stupid. Bloody kids these days with their lasers - they're a dangerous hazard. That poor girl is gonna set her apartment on fire at this rate, and she obviously hasn't got insurance judging by her welfare paint peeling back where she last had a fire due to faulty electricals. We just can't make her go through it all again. Besides, there's better ways to fricassée a goat for some stew than roasting the meat with a naked flame. But my job was on the line! I had to come up with a game-changer move of some sort to keep my much sought after position at the meme factory. It's said that when times are tough and under duress they'll come up with their best ideas. So true. I came up with a brilliant brainwave, got the picture together, and confidently strode back towards my boss' office. I was feeling fearless, in a fearful kind of way. I knocked once on his door, swung it open, closing it forcefully behind me, strode over to his desk, and promptly went to work sucking his dick. I sucked that man's big ol' greasy cock better than it had ever been sucked before in its life. And as I was doing that special trick with my tongue that no guy can resist, I slid over to him my completed work on the new meme he asked for. He looked over my picture, then down at me, and said "You are the best drat worker this company has, Wee Stubby Nubs. The very best!" I looked up at him, nodding as I sucked, and said "I know, boss.*slurp* I know." I strode back out of the boss' office that day with a flick of my hair, discreetly dabbing at the corners of my mouth. As I made my way back to my cubicle I glanced around at all the other workers in the factory, hunched over their computers with a furrowed brow, nervous sweat rings around their armpit, as they tried to nut out the next big thing in memes so their name wasn't called out for firing at the end of the day. I felt ten foot tall and bulletproof as I sat down in my set and put my feet up - my job at the meme factory was safe for another day. Life was good! Now, you may be wondering what the fresh hip changes I made to my picture that day which magically saved my job for one more day. Well, that went down like this... The boss said: reignofevil posted:I wish this picture had a cat in it because it is otherwise perfect. My picture:  *voiceovers heard in the background* Boss: "You are the best drat worker this company has, Wee Stubby Nubs. The very best!" Wee Stubby Nubs: "I know, boss. I know."
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Jun 20, 2016 15:32
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Of course, scientists once again waste millions of taxpayer dollars confirming what the general public has known for years: cats are stupid assholes who make terrible companions.
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Jun 20, 2016 16:26
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Japan is furiously dumping money into meme research it looks like.
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Jun 20, 2016 16:55
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cats are stupid assholes who make great companions
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Jun 20, 2016 17:06
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Indoor cats are homeschooled, they can't help it if they're socially retarded.
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Jun 20, 2016 20:04
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:21 |
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I would say that on a whole, cats are not smart, but I didn't adopt a soft, friendly slave so that it would outwit me
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Jun 20, 2016 21:57
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