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a conveyor belt of balls all the way to the sun
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Jul 14, 2016 15:42
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The Family Guy hurt knee running gag but me and it's my balls. Later they get pummeled by a giant chicken.
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Jul 14, 2016 15:45
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Picture if you will a scene of balls These balls have no mouth, yet they must scream These balls are your balls, these balls are my balls From Ballifornia to the Ball Mountains These balls are made for you and me
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Jul 14, 2016 15:50
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There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call... my balls.
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Jul 14, 2016 15:53
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In Victorian London, a gin-soaked irish prostitute fustigates my balls with every fiber of her being behind the tannery. The fog thickens. A church bell can be heard in the distance.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:14
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I sit alone at my table, dim candlelight illumines my face and casts long shadows across the wall of my great hall. The rest of the tables sit empty, I stare lecherously at the lone serving girl's figure as she serves me a pie, with a thick crust and brimming with the juiciest meats. "You're not one of mine are you?" I inquire. "No my lord." replies the serving girl. "Of course not, far too pretty." I remark as a smack her rump, "Where are my drat moron balls?" I shout angrily, into the dim light of the hall, "Black Walder and Loafer promised to be here by midday!" "But they are here, my lord." calmly states the serving girl. At first I don't realise the implication of her words, but I soon catch on to the sinister meaning behind them. I slowly lift one edge of my slice of pie only to find one of my big ol' balls staring back into my face! TL:DR: Feed me my own balls in a pie.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:49
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trap my balls in the garbage crusher from the death star with 3 other goons' balls
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Jul 14, 2016 16:52
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PSA: As you get older and your balls hang lower and lower it is often tempting to take up a bit of scrotum slack. My advice to you, dear friends, is to resist the temptation to take up this slack the "quick and easy" way with a sewing machine. Sewing machines were not designed for scrotums and your balls will get fouled up in the mechanism. Do it the right way and use a stapler instead. Or hand stitching if you have the time.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:53
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spend several hundred thousand dollars immortalizing my balls at the natural history museum in a diorama with a wooly mammoth and a sabertooth tiger
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Jul 14, 2016 18:17
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the rest of my body long dead and decayed, my balls wander the earth alone for eternity
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Jul 14, 2016 18:19
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Submerge my balls in the dip like that poor shoe from who framed roger rabbit
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Jul 14, 2016 18:19
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place my balls inside the cylinder of an old beat up 80s volvo and submit them to repeated cycles of pressurization and explosion
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Jul 14, 2016 18:22
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immortalize my balls and leave them to wander a dead universe for millennia until its heat death
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Jul 14, 2016 18:27
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I finally succeed in my efforts to clone an Ankylosaurus, a herbivorous armored dinosaur from the lower Cretaceous period. Using the dense, club-like mass of bone at the end of his tail, he absolutely hammers on my balls and beanbag until they're reduced to a fine powder
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Jul 14, 2016 18:45
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remake my balls years later with a different cast and crew so fans of my original balls get upset and post youtubes about it all the time.
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Jul 14, 2016 19:18
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Submerge my balls in the dip like that poor shoe from who framed roger rabbit 
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Jul 14, 2016 19:25
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Hell Yeah posted:remake my balls years later with a different cast and crew so fans of my original balls get upset and post youtubes about it all the time. lol fans of the original, as if
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Jul 14, 2016 19:45
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Take my shameful wrinkled sack and stretch it flat, watch as a toothless hillbilly takes it into his mouth and incorporates it into his one man ragtime porch band. After the whisky's gone it will be discarded in the grease trap in the backyard.
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Jul 14, 2016 20:03
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The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its balls... That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even balls may die.
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Jul 14, 2016 20:22
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me, in crisp white labcoat and goggles: ok, lets begin with the control group *lab tech wheels in 50 gallon drum of hairy balls, loads into hopper of batting machine* *balls explode against wall as room of research staff capture data* me, scribbling furiously: excellent. lets proceed with first test group *lab tech wheels in 50 gallon drum of shaved balls*
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Jul 14, 2016 20:37
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the mysterious figure lowers his hood, revealing himself to be none other than "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. he rushes the ring and performs an immaculate shoulder drop off the turnbuckle and onto my balls, pinning them for the win. he stands valiantly over the bruised and battered remains of my balls as the audience cheers
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Jul 14, 2016 20:42
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im crushing more balls than a french trucker #nice
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Jul 15, 2016 02:46
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I want an old Cambodian peasant woman to just go loving apeshit on my balls with a garden weasel then use them to clear a minefield
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Jul 15, 2016 03:38
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 Dry it, Dye it, Coin Purse-ify it!
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Jul 15, 2016 04:30
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:
There was this old witchcraft thing where you would skin a man and put a coin in his now empty nut sack. It was supposed to bring wealth or poo poo line that I dunno.
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Jul 15, 2016 04:34
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Volume posted:There was this old witchcraft thing where you would skin a man and put a coin in his now empty nut sack. It was supposed to bring wealth or poo poo line that I dunno. you are thinking of necropants 
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Jul 15, 2016 04:36
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Somebody pls post that one where a boy and his uncles hang outside in the nude and the uncles poke each others' dangling balls, tia.
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Jul 15, 2016 04:36
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Volume posted:There was this old witchcraft thing where you would skin a man and put a coin in his now empty nut sack. It was supposed to bring wealth or poo poo line that I dunno.  How much money could yours hold? At least a dollar for me, easy!
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Jul 15, 2016 04:38
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Help. It's been real hot outside with no hint of giving up, and my balls keep hanging lower. As of right now they are already LOW AS gently caress and I'm scared about what is going to happen from here. I don't need a set of bolas.
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Jul 15, 2016 05:41
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Nathilus posted:Help. It's been real hot outside with no hint of giving up, and my balls keep hanging lower. As of right now they are already LOW AS gently caress and I'm scared about what is going to happen from here. I don't need a set of bolas. get a stapler
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Jul 15, 2016 05:45
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monkey posted:get a stapler That sounds painful I just want to know how to magic my pert winter nutsack back.
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Jul 15, 2016 05:47
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This was an epic fyad thing in 2009 (peak fyad before it got full of fail)
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Jul 15, 2016 06:06
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do your balls hang low can you tie them in a bow do they swing to and fro
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Jul 15, 2016 06:11
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Epic Revanent posted:This was an epic fyad thing in 2009 (peak fyad before it got full of fail) i printed this guys post history out and slapped my balls around with it
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Jul 15, 2016 06:12
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re-enact Titus Andronicus but with each of my balls playing the parts of Chiron and Demetrius. set up a pulley system attached to a download counter for the new pokemon app and every time its downloaded electrocute my balls
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Jul 15, 2016 07:13
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BABA GANOUSH!?
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Jul 15, 2016 09:44
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Nathilus posted:That sounds painful I just want to know how to magic my pert winter nutsack back. liquid nitrogen
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Jul 15, 2016 10:53
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lol, balls
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Jul 16, 2016 22:22
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the classic duck hunt game but the ducks are your sad tattered yambag and the dog laughs on every hit
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Jul 16, 2016 22:37
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Smash my balls in a vice
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Jul 16, 2016 23:53
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