|
In the year 2007 I graduated from college. I landed my first job and was living in a new apartment without room mates for the first time. I discovered my unconventional grooming technique one night in an act of panic. I was sitting on the couch smoking weed when i hear a forceful knock at my door. I go to the peep hole and shout "who is it"? They respond with "police we need to ask you some questions." I go into panic mode knowing that as soon as i open the door they would know i was smoking weed and probably arrest me. I did not have incense or anything to cover the smell. I yell back "one moment I am getting dressed." In a fit of desperation i grab a lighter, pull down my shorts and light my pubic hair on fire. Quickly my apartment was filled with the odor of burnt hair. When the flames got too hot i extinguished the flames. Then i pull up my shorts, open the door, walk out and greet the officers. They were wondering if i had seen any suspicious people in the parking lot. A number of vehicles had been broken into. I told them "no, but i will keep an eye out". They left without inquiring about the smell of weed or burning hair. I go back inside and immediately inspect the damage. To my surprise it looked halfway decent. So i clean up the rest of the long hairs with the lighter to even things out and have not looked back since then.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:43 |
|
|
# ? Mar 29, 2024 07:36 |
|
i clean my butthole with a soapy rag. its great.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:45 |
|
dad gay. so what posted:i clean my butthole with a soapy rag. its great. You should try old socks.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:49 |
|
dad gay. so what posted:i clean my butthole with a soapy rag. its great. do you use it on a stick for greater penetration and ease of entry?
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:49 |
|
they probably didn't ask because they didn't care and you just lit your dick on fire
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:50 |
|
man in the black pajamas blew my pubes clean off with a rinky dink toebuster in the jungles of Nam. Bald eagle was shedding tears that day.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:52 |
|
putting a finger in my nose to take the boogers out (figured it out by myself? instinctual?)
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:56 |
|
- a nosehair trimmer can also trim adam's apple hairs with zero risk of nicks - if your hair is super bad put a hat on and it's your little secret - the hair around your butthhole serves a valuable purpose besides dingleberry accumulation
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:56 |
|
come to think of it maybe i figured out the finger-nose thing by seeing my dad do it?
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:58 |
|
I comb my beard with your moms pussy. Discovered by beard loving said mom
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 19:58 |
|
I keep my dick short with a wood file
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:00 |
|
you accidentally performed a magic ritual. set your dick on fire and cops won't bother you until the next full moon.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:07 |
|
A good op as I literally lol'd. Thank you, friend.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:08 |
|
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:10 |
|
I submerge myself in a vat of diethyl ether and ignite it. I also drink the ether and huff the ether to clean my guttiworks, lungs, and bloodstream. I discovered it during an ill-advised attempt to replicate the Joker's origin story from The Killing Joke.
Nigmaetcetera fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Jul 13, 2016 |
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:29 |
|
are you adam johnson op?
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:30 |
|
i generally like to bleach my skeleton at least one a year
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 20:34 |
|
|
# ? Mar 29, 2024 07:36 |
|
Jose posted:are you adam johnson op? No, sounds like you have a story though.
|
# ? Jul 13, 2016 21:15 |