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Drunk & Ugly posted:i also hate when i pee like 2 or three directions it upsets me. well, no dick no problems Ah yes, forked piss can gently caress right off also.
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Jul 27, 2016 19:10
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Crewmine posted:Why was that a rule & how could she enforce it Because grandma lived in an extraordinarily nice house full of extraordinarily expensive things and after you'd pee she would inspect the bathroom to look for spots on the rim of the toilet. If she found any then next time you came over you had to squeeze between the gardening shed and the arborvitae and pee on the ground.
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Jul 27, 2016 19:54
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What kind of tiny little dicks do you all have that it fits under the toilet seat?
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Jul 27, 2016 19:57
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This did happen to me but it only went on my underwear so nobody ever knew. My dick sometimes curves up when piss is going through it, and I think that and sitting at the wrong angle combined to create a tragedy.
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Jul 27, 2016 20:36
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Volume posted:What kind of tiny little dicks do you all have that it fits under the toilet seat? If I had a smaller dick this wouldn't happen. You can force it under the toilet bowl but then it touches the bowl and I hate that so I kinda just hold it there with my hand, but when I'm really going for it, like after a night on the beers and curry, you get that kinda reflux thing after squeezing hard through your ring of fire and your dick just jerks up and pisses through the gap at best, or all over the toilet seat and the floor at worst. I've wondered for years if this is some extra special disability I have in addition to all the others, but Jesus be praised, it apparently isnt.
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Jul 27, 2016 20:44
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no becuase
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Jul 27, 2016 20:48
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spud posted:I've wondered for years if this is some extra special disability I have in addition to all the others, but Jesus be praised, it apparently isnt. This happened to me yesterday, brother. I actually pissed a drop on my ankle and I could feel it. I put my feet and pants forward in hopes of staying dry and looked down in horror at the puddle. There is a delay at to runs down. I sat there for a few mins with my feet forward out of the pool wondering what to do. Wearing boots so couldn't kick clothes off and forward. I eventually used a rocking motion and reach the door handle and stand up. Only my underwear survived.
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Jul 27, 2016 21:24
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We should start a new religion called Pisslords. It would be primarily for men, but women can of course join too lol.....this is 2016 in TYoOL.
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Jul 28, 2016 13:12
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Zorodius posted:when this happens I cleverly redirect the stream into my mouth lol once i pissed straight up when making GBS threads + drunk like i had my legs together and it crusehd my ballsack over my dick to make it point up (imagine turtle), i think the shock made me poo poo more and i started flailing on the toilet
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Jul 28, 2016 13:14
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eays way to guarantee this happens is to squarsh ur d between the bowl and seat also good to expand meatus diameter and flatness two traits usually only attainable by genetic draw
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Jul 28, 2016 13:15
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This has happened to me on more than one occasion but not because my dick is tiny, it just always kind of sticks out a little bit
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Jul 28, 2016 13:28
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KomodoWagon posted:This has happened to me on more than one occasion but not because my dick is tiny, it just always kind of sticks out a little bit Suuuuuure it does
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Jul 28, 2016 13:29
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KomodoWagon posted:Suuuuuure it does oh wow total ownage 
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Jul 28, 2016 13:29
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This is why I poop standing up
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Jul 28, 2016 13:39
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yeah there are two extremes: hot day tumescence where my junk may touch sacred porcelain and/or holy water, and cold day adderall+caffeine shrinkapalooza where i pee on the elastic of my boxers through the toilet seat/bowl gap
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Jul 30, 2016 03:45
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