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Xon, we live in a world that has books, and those books have to be guarded by persons with political correctness. Who's gonna do it? You? You, FactsAreUseless? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your weiner, and you curse the Portlania Femenist Bookstore. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That your weiner's forcible removal, while tragic, probably saved hurt feminist feelings. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves hurt feminist feelings. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that bookstore, you need me in that bookstore. We use words like cishet, trigger, mansplaining. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a xir who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very social justice that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a book, and stand a shitpost. Either way, I don't give a drat what you think you are entitled to.
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Oct 3, 2016 14:43
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Sex Falcon posted:However, Powells is the best and you can make loud, public dick jokes in there if you really want but everyone will still think you're a prick. You gotta wonder if there was some sort of plague of loud public dick joke makers (in the feminist bookstore, from Portlandia) before they put up that sign
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Oct 3, 2016 14:47
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BattleSausage posted:Xon, we live in a world that has books, and those books have to be guarded by persons with political correctness. Who's gonna do it? You? You, FactsAreUseless? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your weiner, and you curse the Portlania Femenist Bookstore. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That your weiner's forcible removal, while tragic, probably saved hurt feminist feelings. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves hurt feminist feelings. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that bookstore, you need me in that bookstore. We use words like cishet, trigger, mansplaining. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a xir who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very social justice that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a book, and stand a shitpost. Either way, I don't give a drat what you think you are entitled to.
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Oct 3, 2016 14:51
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loquacius posted:You gotta wonder if there was some sort of plague of loud public dick joke makers (in the feminist bookstore, from Portlandia) before they put up that sign My dick is always a joke, in public or not.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:01
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sebmojo posted:you really brought that one home my man gj if a person can't even phone it in during an admission of defeat, then why even make the effort, rite?
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Oct 3, 2016 15:07
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loquacius posted:You gotta wonder if there was some sort of plague of loud public dick joke makers (in the feminist bookstore, from Portlandia) before they put up that sign Maybe they've become a bike stop on a weed tour where ppl come into their place of business and treat them like poo poo, all because of a sketch show? Maybe they've been insanely patient up until now? I deffo didn't read any of the posted link or w/e, since I'm still trying to catch up on 20th century classic literature that I can shoehorn joeks into.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:14
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Ork of Fiction posted:Maybe they've become a bike stop on a weed tour where ppl come into their place of business and treat them like poo poo, all because of a sketch show? Maybe they've been insanely patient up until now? I feel like the rational thing to do if that was really happening, if they really had a solid relationship with the showrunners, would be to ask Fred or Carrie to do a 30-second Youtube PSA being like "hey guys this place has been awesome with letting us make fun of them and use their store to film, please be respectful of them IRL", instead of having a very vocal hissy fit against the show.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:17
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It seems like a straightforward bid for attention to support a failing business, since when the Willamette Week reached out to get a statement they demanded that the Week plug their gofundme and got pissy when they declined.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:18
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Maybe the feminist bookstore that was willing to allow Portlandia to use their storefront for its parody is also capable of engaging in self-parody via a sign on their door? Perhaps it knows emotions other than anger.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:25
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Moon Atari posted:Maybe the feminist bookstore that was willing to allow Portlandia to use their storefront for its parody is also capable of engaging in self-parody via a sign on their door? Perhaps it knows emotions other than anger. also: maybe it's illuminati code  (what I'm saying is there's no particular reason to think that) (I am also proposing the idea that perhaps the sign is Illuminati code, I am dead serious about this)
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Oct 3, 2016 15:31
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People might believe that the feminist bookstore is an agent of the Illuminati, but the truth is the opposite. The Illuminati have always been the pawns of the Feminist Bookstore from Portlandia.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:34
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If you look really really close at the eyeball pyramid on US currency you can see a little tiny feminist bookstore from Portlandia
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Oct 3, 2016 15:46
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This much I'm certain of: it doesn't happen immediately. You'll finish [the book] and that will be that, until a moment will come, maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe even several years. You'll be sick or feeling troubled or deeply in love or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time in your life. It won't matter. Out of the blue, beyond any cause you can trace, you'll suddenly realize things are not how you perceived them to be at all. For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You'll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you'll realize it's always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won't understand why or how. You'll have forgotten what granted you this awareness in the first place. You might try then, as I did, to find a sky so full of stars it will blind you again. Only no sky can blind you now. Even with all that iridescent magic up there, your eye will no longer linger on the light, it will no longer trace constellations. You'll care only about the darkness and you'll watch it for hours, for days, maybe even for years, trying in vain to believe you're some kind of indispensable, universe-appointed sentinel, as if just by looking you could actually keep it all at bay. It will get so bad you'll be afraid to look away, you'll be afraid to sleep. Then no matter where you are, in a crowded restaurant or on some desolate street or even in the comforts of your own home, you'll watch yourself dismantle every assurance you ever lived by. You'll stand aside as a great complexity intrudes, tearing apart, piece by piece, all of your carefully conceived denials, whether deliberate or unconscious. And then for better or worse you'll turn, unable to resist, though try to resist you still will, fighting with everything you've got not to face the thing you most dread, what is now, what will be, what has always come before, the creature you truly are, the creature we all are, the Feminist Bookstore from Portlandia. And then the Anger will begin.
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Oct 3, 2016 16:45
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Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the Feminist bookstore from Portlandia. Rode the six hundred.
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Oct 3, 2016 17:29
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Whoever aids in parodying diehard second-wavers should see to it that in the process she does not become a diehard second-waver. And if you gaze long enough into the feminist bookstore from Portlandia, the feminist bookstore from Portlandia will gaze back into you.
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Oct 3, 2016 17:34
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Has anyone mentioned their storefront yet?
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Oct 3, 2016 18:33
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Oct 3, 2016 18:40
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Ork of Fiction posted:Maybe they've become a bike stop on a weed tour where ppl come into their place of business and treat them like poo poo, all because of a sketch show? Maybe they've been insanely patient up until now? 20th? Lol. WHAN that Aprille with xis shoures soote 1 The droghte 2 of Marche hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich 3 licour, Of which vertu engendred is the flour; Whan Zephirus eek with xis swete breeth 5 Inspired hath in every holt 4 and heeth The tendre croppes, 5 and the yonge sonne Hath in the Ram xis halfe cours y-ronne, 6 And smale fowles maken melodye, That slepen al the night with open ye, 10 (So priketh hem nature in hir corages: 7 Than longen folk to goon on pilgrimages, And palmers for to seken straunge strondes, 8 To bookstores, couthe in portie londes; And specially, from every shires ende 15 Of Eeaglelond, to Portlandia they wende, The holy cisful martir for to seke, That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seke. 11
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Oct 3, 2016 18:52
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BattleSausage posted:Xon, we live in a world that has books, and those books have to be guarded by persons with political correctness. Who's gonna do it? You? You, FactsAreUseless? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your weiner, and you curse the Portlania Femenist Bookstore. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That your weiner's forcible removal, while tragic, probably saved hurt feminist feelings. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves hurt feminist feelings. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that bookstore, you need me in that bookstore. We use words like cishet, trigger, mansplaining. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a xir who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very social justice that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a book, and stand a shitpost. Either way, I don't give a drat what you think you are entitled to. 
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Oct 3, 2016 19:14
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If you can fill the unforgiving shelf With 60 titles of gender studies. Yours is portland, and everything in it. And -which is more- you'll be a Womyn, my daughter
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Oct 3, 2016 19:18
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glowstick party tonight posted:These pretzels from the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.... are making me THIRSTY
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Oct 3, 2016 19:47
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Okay, I'm goldmining this now. Thanks everyone who made jokes.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:59
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