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What’s your favorite car manufacturer?
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SHOOT VISARI
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Son Ryo
Jun 13, 2007
Excuse me, do you know where Saiyans hang out?
Hah, I love how the hipster uses the car from Initial D for the asian cars race. (At least, I'm pretty sure that's what that was.)

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Cooked Auto posted:

The latest episode of The Grand Tour (aka the new Top Gear) has a very lovely segment with James May about the creation of the Ford GT and the 1966 Le Man race.
He even drives one of the cars that drove in the race. It's worth 15 million pounds today.

I'm partial to Jeremy Clarkson's telling of the tale of the Ford GT's origin from the Forza 4 Autovista, which I sloppily paraphrased in the video.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Dec 29, 2016

Fish Noise
Jul 25, 2012

IT'S ME, BURROWS!

IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, BURROWS!

Lost Horizon posted:

The Driver: OH ALI, ALL OF THOSE CARS IN YOUR HEAD
The Driver: THEY WILL RUST INTO WRECKAGE TONIGHT



Lost Horizon posted:

The Driver: WE'RE DONE TALKING
The Driver: I'M SORRY, ALI HOWARD
The Driver: I KNOW YOU WANTED TO RACE
The Driver: BUT I'VE TAKEN THAT FUTURE FROM YOU
The Driver: AND IT'S MINE NOW
The Driver: AND YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
Wait. So Dak adds 1% to the discount every time you destroy one of his signs. And he has 100 signs.

I'm going to be generous here and assume Dak assumed that an individual would destroy one, maybe two of his signs, and not assume that Dak intentionally set himself up to be enslaved.

Bozart
Oct 28, 2006

Give me the finger.

paragon1 posted:

... Dak intentionally set himself up to be enslaved.

Whatever turns his crank, man.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013






I really do hope you do these for every one of our rivals as the game goes on :allears:

Although, Ramona, Zaki, and Hailey don't show up in the CG storyline sequences. But Duke, Marko, and Darius all do :getin:

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013






CAR SHOW! ROAD CLOSED ON JUNE 18th! CAR SHOW! ROAD CLOSED ON JUNE 18th! CAR SHOW!

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Demanding you use no car but the miata




In eye searing Kawaii Blue.

Triple A
Jul 14, 2010

Your sword, sahib.

nine-gear crow posted:

"Why did we buy this?"

I guess you like your Toyota/Subaru joint projects in trying to make basic RWD platforms for aspiring tuners. Shame the vast majority of them can't actually buy some because the economic situation's so poo poo

RydogZeta
Feb 14, 2016
Since you’re in Colorado get a Subaru paint it purple then drive 10mph under the speed limit on two lane roads where the other lane has too much traffic for you to pass them. (This happened numerous times when I lived in Denver for 4 years)

For a serious pick how about a bright red Jaguar XKR-S.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





RydogZeta posted:

Since you’re in Colorado get a Subaru paint it purple then drive 10mph under the speed limit on two lane roads where the other lane has too much traffic for you to pass them. (This happened numerous times when I lived in Denver for 4 years)

For a serious pick how about a bright red Jaguar XKR-S.

You are giving me ideas, to be certain. If anyone else has any requests, please feel free to post them. We are certainly open to them.

racerabbit
Sep 8, 2011

"HI, I WANT TO HUG PINS NUTS."
:frolf:

RydogZeta posted:

Since you’re in Colorado get a Subaru paint it purple then drive 10mph under the speed limit on two lane roads where the other lane has too much traffic for you to pass them. (This happened numerous times when I lived in Denver for 4 years)



And make sure it has the crappiest tires possible on it. You have AWD, so you'll be fine, right?



(Utah checking in)



*edit: Okay seriously, why don't you have a fully-tricked out Abarth 595? This crappy little thing should be the only one you use from now on.

racerabbit fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jan 7, 2017

Triple A
Jul 14, 2010

Your sword, sahib.

nine-gear crow posted:

You are giving me ideas, to be certain. If anyone else has any requests, please feel free to post them. We are certainly open to them.

Ok, go get whichever Lancia is in the game and do something with it.

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER
Toyota AE86 with a black hood and thin stripe going around the car :colbert:

Bozart
Oct 28, 2006

Give me the finger.
I hope you make a suped up 2004 Honda Civic because it is stereotypically funny and I also drove a gray stock sedan version until last year when I was rear ended in stop and go traffic and a tiny dent totalled it.

racerabbit
Sep 8, 2011

"HI, I WANT TO HUG PINS NUTS."
:frolf:
At least you weren't in a Pinto.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKQ-U-rnLdo

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





EPISODE 3 – Krash and the Boys
Episode 3.1 – Green Wristband Clean Up & Showcase Events
Episode 3.2 – Blue Wristband Races vs. Duke Maguire





Our third rival in Horizon is our resident Johnny Knoxville wannabe, Duke Maguire, and I use that descriptor with some heavy reservation, because Johnny Knoxville has a modicum of class, decency, and self-awareness that Duke does not. Duke is, by most metrics, the most quantifiably popular racer at the Horizon Festival, being the host of a decently well known (in Horizon's internal universe) automotive entertainment show on a fairly mainstream basic cable network (like say MTV or the Discovery Channel). Although that's just me making assumptions. We're never really given any solid information on what exactly Krash Max is as a TV program beyond it apparently being some gross mixture of Jackass and Top Gear and that is has a sizable enough fan following that Alice straight up calls Duke out in a public space no less because she suspects he's just here to film an episode of his show and bank some free publicity out of it. I'd imagine though, given the way it's presented in Horizon, that Krash Max would be one of those niche shows that achived the right level of popularity to attain a level of cultural osmosis like MythBusters, Jackass, and Top Gear did. One of those shows that, even if you've never watched an episode of it, you would still know what it's about just by other people talking about it.

Oh, and speaking of Alice and conflicts of interest, you may have already noticed it in little blips and bites here and there, but Krash Max the fictional TV show is also an event sponsor at the Horizon Festival. Certain mini challenges are sponsored by Krash Max itself, and the show will pay us money for like racking up landscape or object destruction bonuses or smashing into other cars and the like. Banners and signs with the Krash Max logo are also scattered across the festival grounds, and I think there may even be a race outright sponsored by the show at some point too. So Alice just let the literal faceman of one of the festival's major sponsors slide himself into the tournament roster with virtually no objection. Though really, if she let Ali in knowing full well that he was running an illegal street racing shadow tournament literally down the road from the festival grounds, and let Ramona compete in any race she wanted to with nothing but her Helltruck, I don't think Alice actually gives an honest poo poo about running Horizon in anything resembling a professional manner. It's also worth pointing out, that Alice doesn't come back for Horizon 2 or Horizon 3, those games each have their own distinct Mission Control characters, so I'd like to think that Alice got her rear end promptly fired by the Horizon brass after the 2012 tournament wrapped up for doing stuff like sleeping with the reigning champ, and allowing sponsors to compete in actual races, and bending the rules to codify a sketchy popularity contest.

As a racer, Duke is a particular pain in the rear end to compete against because he is self-destructively agressive, not just against other racers, but also against you in particular. In keeping with his gimmick of being an obnoxious jackass that makes his living by smashing stuff into other stuff at high speeds, Duke's main tactic is just trying to ratfuck you off the podium by trying to run you off the road and keep you there for as long as he can. Duke often handicaps himself out of podium positions in races by his choice of cars (usually cheap beaters he can afford to smash up and then scrap) and his abysmal racing skills, so once you manage to actually get out around him and pass him, he isn't much of a threat, especially compared to Ali, who had the cars and skills to hound your heels to the finish line. No, where Duke is most dangerous is in the mid-race with his jackass antics. He is specifically designed to be a frustrating gadfly troll who races stinking dirty.

Your tactic of choice when facing the crash master should be, literally, to run him off the road before he can run you off it. Which I do to fantastic effect in the above posted video. Because he just doesn't have the skills to recover from a race-ruining crash.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Jan 10, 2017

Yapping Eevee
Nov 12, 2011

STAND TOGETHER.
FIGHT WITH HONOR.
RESTORE BALANCE.

Eevees play for free.
Oh man. Part 1 was some good stuff, but part 2... Oh, this is gonna be magical. :magical:

Seriously, what was that on the helltruck?! :psyduck:

Fish Noise
Jul 25, 2012

IT'S ME, BURROWS!

IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, BURROWS!
Ah, now that the gimmick is in play, I suppose it's too late to tell you to paint that Barracuda apple green with pentagrams and only play doom drone way too loud when driving it.

The more you keep shining a light on this racing hell nightmare house setting, the more I'm thinking that this is actually Driveworld and The Driver is some sort of The Man In Black figure.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
Update 3 Radio! I guess I could have watched the entire 3.2 video to put the radio back together but :effort:. Songs are denoted with an A or C depending on which of us tossed it in the playlist.

StupendousMan
Feb 28, 2016
Oh man, this is special. :allears:

Crow and/or Artix, how are you playing this? Are you recording from a 360/One? (I'd love to play through this again, but I hocked my 360 a while ago and I dunno if emulation is even possible.)

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





StupendousMan posted:

Oh man, this is special. :allears:

Crow and/or Artix, how are you playing this? Are you recording from a 360/One? (I'd love to play through this again, but I hocked my 360 a while ago and I dunno if emulation is even possible.)

Our setup is hilariously complex, but it's working so far. This is being done live on a real Xbox 360, the footage of which is being piped through OBS which is then recording the game video, game audio, my commentary and Aritx's commentary plus ChoasArgate's Discord music bot on separate tracks which I then pull apart and mix back together in Premiere. The video is then fed live without audio to Artix over screenshare on Skype.

That's also why the video looks a little smeary and artifacty in places, OBS only gave me two viable output rendering options: pristine video quality and only one audio channel, or "okay" video quality and the three audio channels I needed in order to sound balance properly in post.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Artix posted:

Update 3 Radio! I guess I could have watched the entire 3.2 video to put the radio back together but :effort:. Songs are denoted with an A or C depending on which of us tossed it in the playlist.

Also, that's loving rich, you blaming me for your internet garbage ruining the set list and requiring the shuffle :colbert:

Edit: One song that didn't survive the blackout that destroyed the original Episode 3 footage was Death By Glamour from Undertale, which I forgot to load back on to the playlist for 3.1. It wasn't going to be on the video anyway because when it played originally in the destroyed 3.1 recording, it was over a nearly ten minute block of us trying to find the second Barn Find at Finley Dam so that footage was getting cut for time anyway.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 9, 2017

HereticMIND
Nov 4, 2012

I personally believe that, instead of being fired, Alice got "kicked upstairs," so to speak. The event organizers were probably appalled at her handling of the first Horizon event (perhaps even at the blatant nepotism she seemed to act on; how else were her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend and her soon-to-be new boyfriend able to enter?), but knew that they couldn't just fire her outright due to some bullshit such as her father being one of the stock-holders or maybe she was the sister/relative to some bigwig that the showrunners were afraid of pissing off. How to get rid of her without kicking her rear end out the door and with it any chance of the Horizon Festival ever appearing again?

So instead of handing her a pink slip, they gave her an office downtown and let her handpick her own staff. They, of course, didn't tell her that she'd be a part of (read: actually put in charge of) the Legal department and she'd be filling out more paperwork that killed more trees than any concerted effort to deforest the Amazon several times over, but at least her pay was better and she'd get to sit in a spinning chair!

Anyway, that's my theory and until I see solid canonical proof otherwise, I'm sticking to it.

White Coke
May 29, 2015

Fish Noise posted:

Driveworld

Who cares if the cars get totaled, they're not human.

Skippy Granola
Sep 3, 2011

It's not what it looks like.
Hey

Lay off the balloon race, ok?

That poo poo would have been the deezy back in 1890. A horseless carriage racing an aerostatic platform? Capital!

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Skippy Granola posted:

Hey

Lay off the balloon race, ok?

That poo poo would have been the deezy back in 1890. A horseless carriage racing an aerostatic platform? Capital!

I'm suddenly very disappointed that the Ford Model T only appears in Gran Turismo 4. I have said though that if need be we will be dipping into Forza 4--the game Horizon was built off of--in case we need to show off things that aren't in Horizon, like the DMC Delorean or the AMC Gremlin or other amazingly lovely cars that are in FMS4 but not Horizon.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

nine-gear crow posted:

the DMC Delorean or the AMC Gremlin or other amazingly lovely cars that are in FMS4 but not Horizon.

I can only assume you're high on something because the Delorean is an amazing car, and I will fight anyone who disparages the Gremlin - my dad had one (the one with the blue jean seats and paint colour) that lived through him being a Scout Leader and going to camps deep in the wilderness. It only died due to excessive Car Cancer, and I still love it.

Shei-kun
Dec 2, 2011

Screw you, physics!
I heartily approve of this gimmick and eagerly await to see what other horrible/beautiful things you two will subject the rest of us with.

I'm waiting for White Knight Chronicles to show up and Crow to get probated again.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

nine-gear crow posted:

I'm suddenly very disappointed that the Ford Model T only appears in Gran Turismo 4. I have said though that if need be we will be dipping into Forza 4--the game Horizon was built off of--in case we need to show off things that aren't in Horizon, like the DMC Delorean or the AMC Gremlin or other amazingly lovely cars that are in FMS4 but not Horizon.

Hey come on the deloreans only bad points are the wheezy renault V6 and the transmission.
Stick an chevy small block in there and a proper 6 speed and its suddenly the car of everyone in 80s dreams.

Rigged Death Trap fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Jan 10, 2017

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Shei-kun posted:

I heartily approve of this gimmick and eagerly await to see what other horrible/beautiful things you two will subject the rest of us with.

I'm waiting for White Knight Chronicles to show up and Crow to get probated again.

I'm gonna have to check the Forza Marketplace and see if anyone has made a skin like that.

Also, now that we are out in the open with our gimmick for this LP, I am more than open to doing a :siren:GOON CARS NIGHT:siren:. I know for a fact that SA had/has a presence in the Forza online community. I found a not small amount of SA meme decals online from the hand grenade to the goonfleet bee, to even the DEATH IS CERTAIN wizard van.

So, I'm putting the offer out up front: if you have a car design you've done and feel comfortable showing off (and probably laughing at, even if it's good) or if you have a spare copy of Horizon or Forza 4 kicking around and Xbox Live Gold and want to make one from scratch for the LP, then PM me or email me at ninegearcrowsa at gmail dot com with your Xbox Live gamertag and the name of your godawful creation so I can find it and download it and put it to use in an upcoming video. I will not reveal your gamertag unless you specifically okay it (as you've seen I've been censoring gamertags across the LP to protect people's privacy), and if you wish it you can remain completely anonymous (as in I won't even reveal your SA username on the video).

We're probably not going to actually record anything this week because I have an update for a Total Extreme Wrestling that I've been putting off and putting off that I really need to sit down and just write, so you will have a decent amount of time, but I'd say if you want to get in on this, best submit sooner rather than later, and no later than January 25th, I'd say.

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Jan 10, 2017

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013







Take me, Horizon, I'm yours.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





I should probably just come out and say this rather than leave anyone hanging in the lurch: Horizon is dead because Artix doesn't want to do it any more. Blame Picross and Bloodborne and his personal life.

We'd said going into to this that we were gonna do it until we just got tired of it and it turns out that point was "literally after we revealed the gimmick of the LP."

Sorry folks.

Artix
Apr 26, 2010

He's finally back,
to kick some tail!
And this time,
he's goin' to jail!
To be fair, it's not *just* an inconsistent work schedule and other projects going on, it's also that it takes the better part of a couple hours just to prep for a session and then another two hours to record (assuming no technical difficulties) and we're stuck with a last-gen marketplace that's 4 years old in an annual series AND we haven't recorded in months anyway so who the gently caress knows where we even are.

Shei-kun
Dec 2, 2011

Screw you, physics!
I'm not too bummed out. I mean, I love watching the two of you poo poo on this game, but that's only because you're having fun. When it stops being fun to make an LP, that's when you put it down.

Sometimes with a shotgun.

White Coke
May 29, 2015
It was fun while it lasted.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Artix posted:

To be fair, it's not *just* an inconsistent work schedule and other projects going on, it's also that it takes the better part of a couple hours just to prep for a session and then another two hours to record (assuming no technical difficulties) and we're stuck with a last-gen marketplace that's 4 years old in an annual series AND we haven't recorded in months anyway so who the gently caress knows where we even are.

Indeed all of that too, in addition to the 90-ish+ minutes it usually takes me to grind out the in-game cash to purchase either the cars and/or custom decals for each theme night. To say nothing of how we've each been focused on wrapping up either Ace Combat 04, Lightning Returns and Prince of Persia (and trying to wrangle Blind Sally, CJacobs and Fedule into the same Discord room all at the same time to do so) for the last three months and kicking off Ace Combat 5 and Tokyo Mirage Sessions, so an LP we mutually decided to do on a lark just kept slipping lower on the priorities list.

I am a little pained we didn't get to finish at least the "storyline" of Horizon because there's still some good rizz material with the rivals we didn't get to, but by and large I'm fine leaving it where we got to. I t-boned Duke Maguire into a rock wall with a giant golden Chevy Bel Air. That's the perfect note to end an LP on, really.

GoneRampant
Aug 19, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Ah well, was fun while it lasted. Good show Crow.

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nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013





Also, I just want to post all the unused episode titles that would have accompanied the Star Showdown episodes we never got to:

Marko Baran: HACK DNC
Zaki Malik: Bush Did 09:11:000
Hailey Harper: Hailey's Comet ...Kinda :effort:, I know.
Darius Flynt: Kingslayer

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