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Take the offer. Then take this stuff down from the inside. Embezzle from the company, sleep with the boss's daughter, wife, and sister, and generally raise hell. It's the only way to survive.
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Aug 23, 2017 02:08
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Middle management? MIDDLE MANAGEMENT?! You seethe as best you can as reality implodes around you. The dark creeping tendrils eating away at the illusory boardroom. The Gekko sighs and downs the last of his drink. "Know when you've been beaten kid, it's an important lesson. See you next time when the wheel turns." The Reaper totters for a moment before retching into the bag. "Oh man Gek, you didn't tell me he'd smell that bad." Bad, what smells bad? A vile stench and a wave of pain is the last rational thought you feel as you are dumped back into the physical world. You cannot tell what time its. Light and sound make no sense and your body feels like it has been set aflame. Brief images of your burnt leg, now completely black are paired with a rotten stench of dying flesh. Your mouth cracks from lack of moisture and the screams it tries to form long died to a whimper. Other bodily systems, long since having meaning to a consciousness trapped in hell, fail and shut down as the infection crashes the limited liability partnership known as Tad Westbrook. If one that both could see and did believe were to witness his passing they would note a very drunken hooded figure arrived and scoop a rather rotten looking soul from an emaciated rotten corpse into a non-descript black plastic bag. "Should have taken the deal, kiddo."  Tad Westbrook - Deceased from complications of Gas Gangrene and Septicemia Days survived - 6 Wildlife Killed - 1 bear Area Explored - 1% Distance to Rescue - 1% Secrets found 1/??? Final Score --- 110/999 Would you like to continue from last save (as Tad) or try your luck again with a fresh soul?
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Aug 23, 2017 02:51
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˄˄˅˅˂˃˂˃BASelectStart. Continue.
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Aug 23, 2017 02:54
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Let's go for someone worth saving.
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Aug 23, 2017 02:55
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Hexenritter posted:˄˄˅˅˂˃˂˃BASelectStart. Continue.  No scumsaves. Fresh Souls for the Grinder please. Also we killed a bear with a chainsaw garrote. As far as I'm concerned we loving won.
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Aug 23, 2017 02:58
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This time, we play as a bear. Bear Grylls
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Aug 23, 2017 03:04
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Outrail posted:Also we killed a bear with a chainsaw garrote. As far as I'm concerned we loving won. I wonder if achievements like that will unlock fun and interesting potential things in future playthroughs.
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Aug 23, 2017 03:11
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Hexenritter posted:I wonder if achievements like that will unlock fun and interesting potential things in future playthroughs. BEAR ACHIEVEMENT LEVEL 1-3 UNLOCKED, ULTRA BEAR MODE ENGAGED
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Aug 23, 2017 03:20
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Arkanomen posted:BEAR ACHIEVEMENT LEVEL 1-3 UNLOCKED, ULTRA BEAR MODE ENGAGED   
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Aug 23, 2017 03:21
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GOD DAMMIT GOONS WHY? Also +1 to roll new victims this is fun.
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Aug 23, 2017 05:36
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Noomi Chakrabarti - Born in Lisa Gustafson to bed & breakfast owners Eric and Sarah in sleepy Keweenaw County, Michigan, Noomi led a relatively normal small-town life. Dad took her out hunting as a child on weekends and mom passed on her organisational skills and a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. During her experimental phase as a teenager she discovered Buddhism and converted on the spot. The accidental death of her father when she was 22 led her mother to commit suicide shortly thereafter. Noomi sold the bed & breakfast and moved to an ashram in India for the next seven years. Eventually she moved back to the states to establish a small chain of yoga studios and that's where we find her.
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Aug 23, 2017 05:52
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Fresh soul, but I want to come across the body of our erstwhile comrade.
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Aug 23, 2017 05:56
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+1 to the discovery of the mortal remains of the Tadmeister.
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Aug 23, 2017 05:56
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Hexenritter posted:+1 to the discovery of the mortal remains of the Tadmeister. Absolutely.
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Aug 23, 2017 06:49
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Hexenritter posted:+1 to the discovery of the mortal remains of the Tadmeister. Yes... We could play a keyboard warrior with an extensive and virtually limitless knowledge of survival and combat expertise, but has never actually left the safety of suburbia? So we can use info from any source on the web, but probably gently caress it up constantly.
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Aug 23, 2017 16:19
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Outrail posted:Yes... I am voting for This.
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Aug 23, 2017 16:25
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Outrail posted:Yes... This could actually be hilarious
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Aug 23, 2017 16:29
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Outrail posted:Yes... Yessssssssss. Egg on our face when the internet badass has the best dice luck and all the boasting they did online turns out to be true.
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Aug 23, 2017 17:31
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Tad has Passed into the Time is a funny thing. If the fabric of reality is broken way out in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, did it even really happen? The trees know, but they keep their own council on such matters. You could ask Death, but seldom few even have the will and fortune to remember it's passing. But you and I, reader, we have a different perspective. Strings of fate are twisted, cut and tossed into the air. Pick one would you while I tidy up the mess Tad left? Putting the set back together takes some finesse. Choose your 1.A Soldier, haunted by his past and just trying to get home. Is always prepared and wilderness like these is a vacation for someone of his skill, but is his mind sound enough? 2.An Engineer. She's been out in the wilderness before and was heading north to help an isolated community build some infrastructure. She has broad knowledge base and expert technical skills 3.A old Miner, years have taken their toll but the prospect of a new claim dragged him out of retirement. Knows a thing or two about living off the land but he has survived three cave-ins, the last trapping him for over a month.. 4.A 5.A Flower Child. She's only dropped acid once, from 1967 to 2009 and her crystal chakras are flawlessly aligned. Her mind and soul commune with nature and lives on the ebb and flow of the cosmos. The world provides, but what happens when the world decides that it doesn't like you very much? 6. Another crazy write in.
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Aug 23, 2017 19:10
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Mash the '4' button.
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Aug 23, 2017 19:19
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Clearly Goon is the only choice
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Aug 23, 2017 19:22
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Hell's probably an actual landfill too, ugh. As amusing as the description for 5 is, the threadmind cannot deny what it is. 
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Aug 23, 2017 19:32
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Goony goon goon up the wilderness.
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Aug 23, 2017 20:35
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 goon it is
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Aug 23, 2017 22:36
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4gone conclusion.
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Aug 23, 2017 23:55
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Caro plans his next adventure? The wilderness!
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Aug 23, 2017 23:58
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MinutePirateBug posted:Caro plans his next adventure? The wilderness! There can be no other option
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Aug 24, 2017 01:27
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Delicately tapping 4 with the tip of my carbon steel survival kuri. edit: My Damascus steel survival kuri. Outrail fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Aug 25, 2017 |
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Aug 25, 2017 02:38
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Go with what you know? 4
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Aug 29, 2017 16:16
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Excited for Goon in the Woods.
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Aug 29, 2017 16:17
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 07:36 |
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Goon accidentally finds frighteningly advanced squirrel civilization in the woods and dooms the world by being vehemently anti-furry. Then the shrooms wear off and somehow said goon is staked down Gulliver-style anyways. Because goons.
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Aug 30, 2017 04:08
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