Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

quote:

David-

Now I know my political viewpoints have changed dramatically during the last year but you have to understand that once you take the 'red pill' (I'm hoping you've seent The Matrix) it's hard not to see what is actually going on in the world. Once you start to focus on truth and see that everything that you have ever been told is based on a lie just to control and manipulate you, you will start to see things in a new light. I took me some time to understand this as well. I know it sounds nutty but pay attention to the media, listen to the words that they use, what they deem as newsworthy compared to everything that is going on around you. What do they focus on and do you even feel that they're giving you the whole story? I can garuntee you that 9/10 they're not.

Currently, I am in the middle of 6 books. I am reading the Ancient History of the World, a book on the Constitution and the founders, the 5,000 year leap, End the Fed, Telementation, They Own Everything Including You and Corporatism. Plus there's news and magazine articles, blogs and other miscelaneous websites that I stumble across on a daily basis. I just wish that there was an easier way to remember everything that I'm reading because it's a lot to take in. As of now, I'm just reading on subjects that strike my interest and I am attempting to get a broad picuture of what I was missing out of my public/college education.

I apoplogize if you are ever hesitant to talk with me because politics is what we end up talking about. I'm just passionate and I want to share the information, ideas, and understanding of what actually is with as many people as I can. Plus, you're family and I care about my family and I want you to be safe. Do not take that as me being fearful. I am fully aware that fear consumes the mind but it is also a motivator. I'm not ruled by fear, I'm motivated by it and the more that I educate myself the less fearful I become. David, this is scary stuff and it's only a human instinct that one would feel a sense a fear but I will not let that control me or how I want to live my life. I'm fully aware that I am still an ignorant person because there is so much that I have yet to learn. What I want from you is to open your mind to the possibility that I am not the nut job that you see me as. Ok, maybe a little... But just do me and yourself a favor and read some of these articles I'm going to send you. Don't just skim. I hope that they inspire you to do some research on your own. Let me know what you think. I am interested in what you have to say.

Enjoy and read on!

From one David to another....

An interesting and very factual blog that I've been reading lately. For more you can find the site here... http://historyunfolding.blogspot.com/

Dr. David Kaiser of the US Naval War College says�

David Kaiser is a respected historian whose published works have covered a broad range of topics, from European Warfare to American League Baseball. Born in 1947, the son of a diplomat, Kaiser spent his childhood in three capital cities: Washington D.C. , Albany, New York and Dakar, Senegal . He attended Harvard University , graduating in 1969 with a B.A. in history. He then spent several years more at Harvard, gaining a PhD. in history, which he obtained in 1976. He served in the Army Reserves from 1970 to 1976.

He is a professor in the Strategy and Policy Department of the United States Naval War College. He has previously taught at Carnegie Mellon, Williams College and Harvard University. Kaiser�s latest book, The Road to Dallas, about the Kennedy assassination, was just published by Harvard University Press.

History Is Unfolding:

I am a student of history. Professionally, I have written 15 books on history that have been published in six languages, and I have studied history all my life. I have come to think there is something monumentally large afoot, and I do not believe it is simply a banking crisis, or a mortgage crisis, or a credit crisis. Yes these exist, but they are merely single facets on a very large gemstone that is only now coming into a sharper focus.

Something of historic proportions is happening. I can sense it because I know how it feels, smells, what it looks like, and how people react to it. Yes, a perfect storm may be brewing, but there is something happening within our country that has been evolving for about ten to fifteen years. The pace has dramatically quickened in the past two years.

We demand and then codify into law the requirement that our banks make massive loans to people we know they can never pay back? Why?

We learned just days ago that the Federal Reserve, which has little or no real oversight by anyone, has �loaned� two trillion dollars (that is $2,000,000,000,000) over the past few months, but will not tell us to whom or why or disclose the terms. That is our money. Yours and mine. And that is three times the $700 billion we all argued about so strenuously just this past September. Who has this money? Why do they have it? Why are the terms unavailable to us? Who asked for it? Who authorized it? I thought this was a government of �we the people,� who loaned our powers to our elected leaders. Apparently not! We have spent two or more decades intentionally de-industrializing our economy. Why?

We have intentionally dumbed down our schools, ignored our history, and no longer teach our founding documents, why we are exceptional, and why we are worth preserving. Students by and large cannot write, think critically, read, or articulate. Parents are not revolting, teachers are not picketing, school boards continue to back mediocrity. Why?

We have now established the precedent of protesting every close election (violently in California over a proposition that is so controversial that it simply wants marriage to remain defined as between one man and one woman. Did you ever think such a thing possible just a decade ago?) We have corrupted our sacred political process by allowing unelected judges to write laws that radically change our way of life, and then mainstream Marxist groups like ACORN and others to turn our voting system into a banana republic. To what purpose?

Now our mortgage industry is collapsing, housing prices are in free fall, major industries are failing, our banking system is on the verge of collapse, social security is nearly bankrupt, as is Medicare and our entire government. Our education system is worse than a joke (I teach college and I know precisely what I am talking about) � the list is staggering in its length, breadth, and depth.. It is potentially 1929 x ten�And we are at war (supposedly) with an enemy we cannot even name for fear of offending people of the same religion, while the laws written to prevent these enemies from attacking us, seem to be aimed more and more at the US citizenry, then anyone else. Why?

And finally, we have elected a man that no one really knows anything about, because the very first executive order he signed as president, his first day in office was EO #13489, which sealed the release of all of his records. This man has never run so much as a Dairy Queen, let alone a town as small as Wasilla , Alaska. All of his associations and alliances are with real radicals in their chosen fields of employment, and everything we learn about him, drip by drip, is unsettling if not downright scary (Surely you have heard him speak about his idea to create and fund a mandatory civilian defense force stronger than our military for use inside our borders? No? Oh, of course not. The media would never play that for you over and over and then demand he answer it. Sarah Palin�s pregnant daughter and $150,000 wardrobe are more important.)

Mr. Obama�s winning platform can be boiled down to one word: Change. Why?

I have never been so afraid for my country and for my children as I am now.

This man campaigned on bringing people together, something he has never, ever done in his professional life. In my assessment, Obama will divide us along philosophical lines, push us apart, and then try to realign the pieces into a new and different power structure. Change is indeed coming. And when it comes, you will never see the same nation again�EVER!

And that is only the beginning.

As a serious student of history, I thought I would never come to experience what the ordinary, moral German must have felt in the mid-1930s. In those times, the �savior� was a former smooth-talking rabble-rouser from the streets, about whom the average German knew next to nothing about. What they should have known was that he was associated with groups that shouted, shoved, and pushed around people with whom they disagreed; he edged his way onto the political stage through great oratory. Conservative �losers� read it right now.

And then there were the promises. Economic times were tough, people were losing jobs, and he was a great speaker. And he smiled and frowned and waved a lot. And people, even newspapers, were afraid to speak out for fear that his �brown shirts� would bully and beat them into submission. Which they did � regularly. And then, he was duly elected to office, while a full-throttled economic crisis bloomed at hand � the Great Depression. Slowly, but surely he seized the controls of government power, person by person, department by department, bureaucracy by bureaucracy. The children of German citizens were at first encouraged to join a Youth Movement in his name, where they were taught exactly what to think. Later, they were required to do so. No Jews of course�

How did he get people on his side? He did it by promising jobs to the jobless, money to the money-less, and rewards for the military-industrial complex. He did it by indoctrinating the children, advocating gun control, health care for all, better wages, better jobs, and promising to re-instill pride once again in the country, across Europe, and across the world. He did it with an all compliant media too � did you know that? And he did this all in the name of justice and change. And the people surely got what they voted for.

If you think I am exaggerating, look it up! It�s all there in the history books for all to read. So read your history books. Many people of conscience objected in 1933 and were shouted down, called names, laughed at, and ridiculed. When Winston Churchill pointed out the obvious in the late 1930s while seated in the House of Lords in England (he was not yet Prime Minister), he was booed into his seat and called a crazy troublemaker. He was right, though. And the world came to regret that he was not listened to.

Do not forget that Germany was the most educated, the most cultured country in Europe. It was full of music, art, museums, hospitals, laboratories, and universities. And yet, in less than six years (a shorter time span than just two terms of the U. S. presidency) it was rounding up its own citizens, killing others, abrogating its laws, turning children against parents, and neighbors against neighbors. All with the best of intentions of course � the road to Hell is paved with them.

As a practical thinker, one not overly prone to emotional decisions, I have a choice: I can either believe what the objective pieces of evidence tell me (even if they make me cringe with disgust) or I can believe what history is shouting to me from across the chasm of seven decades or I can hope I am wrong by closing my eyes, having another latte and watching the newest reality show, while ignoring what is transpiring around me.

I choose to believe the evidence. No doubt some people will scoff at me, others laugh, or think I am foolish, naive, or both. To some degree, perhaps I am. But I have never been afraid to look people in the eye and tell them exactly what I believe � and most importantly, why I believe it � I believe I am right on this as I have history on my side!

I pray I am wrong.

Dr. David Kaiser
Jamestown , Rhode Island
United States

And now for some more articles....

An article on the harmful effects on t.v.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35646508/ns/health-behavior/

Another bill to strip away your rights, liberties and commit torture against you

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/03/a-detention-bill-you-ought-to-read-more-carefully/37116

Iran knows what is up

http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2010/03/06/world/international-us-iran-ahmadinejad-sept11.html?_r=3&emc=eta1

Everyone loves a video... This one is about 100 million dollars!

http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2010/03/06/world/international-us-iran-ahmadinejad-sept11.html?_r=3&emc=eta1

Something that really pisses me off... Illegal immigrants

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/03/04/money-line-local-governments-urge-illegal-immigrants-census/

Loose your life, liberty and property....

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/mar/02/white-house-land-grab/

Keep in mind that all girls and woman are urged to get this vaccine. I thought about getting it too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJsEEXDGAsk

Dan has been attending the 2nd ammendment meetings and this gentleman has been in attendance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEcx1uoodKI

Looks like the gun toting 'hicks' know's whats up too.

http://www.ammoland.com/2010/01/13/gun-owners-buy-14-million-plus-guns-in-2009/

A message about the dollar from Republican/Dr. Ron Paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRi83LG9GTQ

A funny laugh compliments of a wise man... George Carlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWiBt-pqp0E&feature=related

Love you Bro!

I'm related to this person

# ? Apr 12, 2010 06:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:58

Zwabu: Aug 7, 2006

-Atom- posted:

An interesting and very factual blog that I've been reading lately. For more you can find the site here...

http://historyunfolding.blogspot.com/

Dr. David Kaiser of the US Naval War College says�

David Kaiser is a respected historian whose published works have covered a broad range of topics, from European Warfare to American League Baseball. Born in 1947, the son of a diplomat, Kaiser spent his childhood in three capital cities: Washington D.C. , Albany, New York and Dakar, Senegal . He attended Harvard University , graduating in 1969 with a B.A. in history. He then spent several years more at Harvard, gaining a PhD. in history, which he obtained in 1976. He served in the Army Reserves from 1970 to 1976.

He is a professor in the Strategy and Policy Department of the United States Naval War College. He has previously taught at Carnegie Mellon, Williams College and Harvard University. Kaiser�s latest book, The Road to Dallas, about the Kennedy assassination, was just published by Harvard University Press.

History Is Unfolding:

I am a student of history. Professionally, I have written 15 books on history that have been published in six languages

...

And finally, we have elected a man that no one really knows anything about,

...

As a serious student of history, I thought I would never come to experience what the ordinary, moral German must have felt in the mid-1930s. In those times, the �savior� was a former smooth-talking rabble-rouser from the streets, about whom the average German knew next to nothing about. What they should have known was that he was associated with groups that shouted, shoved, and pushed around people with whom they disagreed; he edged his way onto the political stage through great oratory. Conservative �losers� read it right now.

...

Jesus Christ do these motherFUCKERS ever actually read the sites at the links they send to others?! :psyduck:

From the "history unfolding" blog link sent by your brother:

http://www.blogger.com/profile/05020082243968071584

David Kaiser posted:

The email circulating widely attributed to me comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler is a forgery: see snopes.com/politics/soapbox/proportions.asp. Comments are welcome, but comments that are both abusive and anonymous will be deleted.

http://snopes.com/politics/soapbox/proportions.asp

The long passage sent from your brother is not from the guy's blog but it's a bogus email falsely attributed to him. I still think you should send this information to your brother just on principle, but I'm sure like most right wingers he just won't care at all that he's sending around fake poo poo attributed falsely to another man for some reason. He won't be embarrassed, or mortified, or anything probably. Send it to him anyway though.

They just DON'T CARE. :psyduck:

Edit:

Actually it's worth spending some time on the guy's blog, it's well written. The part that really pisses me off is that he's obviously an Obama supporter (read the stuff from Nov 08). No doubt some right winger got pissed off reading his stuff or arguing on his blog and specifically picked him to falsely attribute this piece of poo poo email to. You should forward the Obama supporting stuff to your brother.

Zwabu fucked around with this message at 12:16 on Apr 12, 2010

# ? Apr 12, 2010 12:10

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

I hope you've seen this movie called "The Matrix" because I'm about to make up my own reality using a computer.

# ? Apr 12, 2010 18:36

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

Lansdowne posted:

I just got this from my uncle. I'm really tempted with replying with redstatesocialism.jpg, then again, he seems to think that mayors wield this much power when it comes to poverty rates, so I doubt it would do much good.

How many of those are considered red states or even purple states that elect conservative governors or have state legislatures that are split?

# ? Apr 12, 2010 18:54

-Atom-: Sep 13, 2003; Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

That's actually my sister, but I could give you a laundry list of things she's been doing since she changed her entire political ideology.

Obama is a socialist/nazi/muslim and not a natural born citizen of the United States. Pretty much views anything Alex Jones as gospel. Chemtrails. Is beginning to fast for 10 days at a time to get rid of 'toxins' because people have been doing it for 'hundreds of years'. Her five year plan consists of getting married to the guy that put this nutty poo poo in her head, have 1 or 2 kids, live in a subterranean home and basically live off the land and maybe getting off the grid.

Seriously she did a complete 180 when she met this guy.

I think it's mostly to do with the fact that she's a gigantic racist, just graduated from college and works a low paying office manager to her boyfriend's parents orthodontist office. She just views most of her hard work in college as a waste of time subconsciously and has a very 'gently caress everybody' attitude since she was dealt such a lovely hand.

That's my theory anyway, or she's just loving crazy.

# ? Apr 12, 2010 19:10

dat one portagee: Dec 6, 2006; WAT DOIN BUG?

Posted this truthout article to my facebook (the "We were just told to shoot people and the officers would take care of us" one):

me posted:

If it wasn't already obvious enough, we have an endemic problem in the military:http://www.truthout.org/iraq-war-vet-we-were-told-just-shoot-people-and-officers-would-take-care-us58378

Cue my dad goin' with the ol' "war is hell" standby:

dad posted:

I would say we have an endemic problem in the country. The problem is that some folks forget that war is not a police action, the soldiers job is to kill people and break things. Innocent people get killed and not always by mistake. Previous generations looked an the fire bombings of Dresden as a necessary tactic to wear down the enemys will to fight. Nagasaki and Hiroshima same thing. A war does not end with negotiations and treaties. It end when one side looses it's will to fight. Jackholes from winter soldier should be ridiculed into the dark corners of the shame and summarily pissed on just for good measure. Their purpose is to destroy Americas will to fight and win wars. The Iraq war was a war of purpose. Our goal should be to win it.

Tried using sound logic/reasoning/history/fact, whoops I mean Liberal propaganda:

me posted:

Wait, there was an actual legitimate purpose to the Iraq war? News to me. I wouldn't really call it a war either, it's been more or less an incredibly wasteful occupation the moment U.S. forces entered the city. I'm not sure how we "win" the huge mess we've made over there.

There was nothing necessary about the firebombing of Dresden. I would guess Germany's will to fight was already thoroughly broken by its decimated army and the continuous defeats it was facing at that point in the war. Also, all those supposedly important military targets were left virtually untouched, if only an occasional casualty of the indiscriminate torching of the civilian population.

About Nagasaki and Hiroshima: Say what you will about the Japanese military's unwillingness to surrender, but they were all but crippled at that point. Facing a very real threat of Soviet invasion on its eastern front, and the Americans in command to the west and firebombing Tokyo, there is no question that it was only a matter of WHEN Japan decided to surrender, not IF. The Truman administration was quite aware that alternatives existed to the bomb, none of which anywhere near as costly as the "million dead American soldiers" myth. However, it was a perfect excuse to display the destructive power of the atom in an attempt to intimidate the Soviets.

Case in point - These things had nothing to do with breaking the enemy's will to fight.

In any case, I don't see how bombing weddings, killing pregnant women, and gunning down children and reporters from Apache helicopters does anything but foment insurgency.

Also, who said anything about winter soldier?

Now I'm outed as the America hating, troop loathing liberal doom-and-gloomer that I really am. Also, American Exceptionalism:

dad posted:

Yes there was/is a ligit purpose to the war. lets set that aside for now. I'm more interested in why it is that there does not seem to be much about how this country is, as it exists. that you admire. It is fine to hold liberal views but buying into all this "evil empire" crap is just going to leave you cynical. This is a great country that has accomplished great things. Our military is the most professional and capable in the history of the world. The volunteers should be harolded as american heros and not a reckless gang. The military leadership, including the president should be respected, not ridiculed. When crimes are committed by our soldiers they are held to account. I have confidence of that. Please try to remember that we now have a dog in this fight. And instead of trying to "imagine theirs no countries, it's easy if you try" just try to imagine this world without our country. We are not the problem, we are the solution

Seriously, I think my dad thinks that the world is like a Tom Clancy novel and every soldier is Jack Bauer, shining arbiters of freedom and democracy around the globe.

# ? Apr 12, 2010 21:04

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

quote:

Yes there was/is a ligit purpose to the war. lets set that aside for now.

...are you one of the Bush twins?

# ? Apr 12, 2010 21:21

Zwabu: Aug 7, 2006

-Atom- posted:

That's actually my sister, but I could give you a laundry list of things she's been doing since she changed her entire political ideology.

Obama is a socialist/nazi/muslim and not a natural born citizen of the United States. Pretty much views anything Alex Jones as gospel. Chemtrails. Is beginning to fast for 10 days at a time to get rid of 'toxins' because people have been doing it for 'hundreds of years'. Her five year plan consists of getting married to the guy that put this nutty poo poo in her head, have 1 or 2 kids, live in a subterranean home and basically live off the land and maybe getting off the grid.

Seriously she did a complete 180 when she met this guy.

I think it's mostly to do with the fact that she's a gigantic racist, just graduated from college and works a low paying office manager to her boyfriend's parents orthodontist office. She just views most of her hard work in college as a waste of time subconsciously and has a very 'gently caress everybody' attitude since she was dealt such a lovely hand.

That's my theory anyway, or she's just loving crazy.

All of that in total really would make me wonder if she's sliding into mental illness, and I don't mean that in a "condescending liberal" way. Identifying strongly as a right winger and detesting liberals and left wingers is one thing, but that whole set of beliefs seems like it belongs to someone whose train has run off the rails of reality.

# ? Apr 12, 2010 21:23

Lansdowne: Dec 28, 2008

Mooseontheloose posted:

How many of those are considered red states or even purple states that elect conservative governors or have state legislatures that are split?

You know, I was a bit curious myself, so I compiled it all together at the state level. I determined the color by some bullshit formula I made up.
1/3*(2008 Presidential Vote) + 1/3*(Senators) + 1/3*(Representatives)

States ranked by % Below Poverty Line

States ranked by Federal Spending / Taxes Paid

Scatter plot of these two things

Scatter plot with trendline and removed DC outlier

Note that wicked strong R^2

Conclusions:
10/15 of the states with the most in poverty are "red"
6/15 of the states with the highest fed spending/taxed ratio are "red"
There is a weak correlation between poverty level and fed spending/amount taxed
"It is the poor who habitually elect Democrats---yet they are still POOR" is wrongwrongwrong
Sending this to my uncle would have absolutely no effect

# ? Apr 14, 2010 01:31

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

quote:

Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-muslim populations conquered through jihad. Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-muslims in exchange for tolerating their presence AND as a coercive means of converting conquered remnants to islam.

The ObamaCare bill is the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia muslim diktat in the United States. Muslims are specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance, and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured. Islam considers insurance to be "gambling", "risk-taking" and "usury" and is thus banned. Muslims are specifically granted exemption based on this. How convenient

ObamaCare discriminates against Christians and Jews by denying them special exemptions extended to other religions.

If you are a mainstream Christian or a Jew, you need not apply to Opt Out of ObamaCare; that exemption is reserved for Muslims, Scientologists, Amish, Christian Scientists and Native American Indians who have a "conscientious objection" to insurance. A conscientious objection to theft committed by rouge politicians under the color of law with the threat of violence for non-compliance isn�t sufficient in America today to exempt average Americans from the stranglehold of government. Believe it or not, if you are a Muslim you may claim a special religious exemption to Obama-Care that is denied to main-stream Christians and Jews. Or if you prefer a New-Age religion to Islam, you may become a Scientologist and Opt Out of ObamaCare�s mandatory purchase of health insurance. Or, if you happen to be of Native American Indian extraction you too can opt out of the insurance laws by which everyone else in America must abide.

Haha...fantastic.

# ? Apr 14, 2010 15:57

TE!: Nov 26, 2003; I LOVE THE LITTLE BOYS OF CATHOLIC!! LOLZ!

RagnarokAngel posted:

Haha...fantastic.

best part is the "rouge politicians under color of the law"

TE! fucked around with this message at 16:42 on Apr 14, 2010

# ? Apr 14, 2010 16:40

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

quote:

Native American Indian extraction

Freudian Slip? Secret Plan? Or Awesome new indie band?

# ? Apr 14, 2010 19:57

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Shorty but a good one:

quote:

A great Constitutional expert has researched the evil mechanisms of the IRS and discovered what techniques and principles they use to enforce a tax, which they have declared as voluntary. The tax collectors use a sneaky lawyer trick known as the principle of sub-silentio or "silence condones consent."

Failure to deny is in effect an admission!

The IRS frightens citizens into believing that they must file income tax returns, but officials privately admit it is a "voluntary" tax. It's all a bluff and people pay because they don't realize they have the right to just refuse.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 07:36

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

RagnarokAngel posted:

Shorty but a good one:

Nothing about that is even close to... but... I...

:eng99:

# ? Apr 15, 2010 14:40

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I would love to see Congress pass a law saying that people who don't want to pay taxes don't have to, but then they're not permitted to use any public services whatsoever.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 15:17

the: Jul 18, 2004; by Cowcaster

I think you can technically do that if you're a homeless drifter.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 15:18

Turing sex machine: Dec 14, 2008; I want to have
your robot-babies

Oh no, streetlights! Quick, put on your blindfold!

# ? Apr 15, 2010 15:23

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

freebooter posted:

I would love to see Congress pass a law saying that people who don't want to pay taxes don't have to, but then they're not permitted to use any public services whatsoever.

"Keep government out of my healthcare but don't you dare touch my medicare!"

# ? Apr 15, 2010 15:58

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Turing sex machine posted:

Oh no, streetlights! Quick, put on your blindfold!

What are you doing on the streets in the first place, outcast!?!?

# ? Apr 15, 2010 18:03

TE!: Nov 26, 2003; I LOVE THE LITTLE BOYS OF CATHOLIC!! LOLZ!

the posted:

I think you can technically do that if you're a homeless drifter.

As long as you never go near a town, city, or road. In which case sounds great?

# ? Apr 15, 2010 19:30

Gripen5: Nov 3, 2003; 'Startocaster' is more fun to say than I expected.

TE! posted:

As long as you never go near a town, city, or road. In which case sounds great?

So much for living under the bridge.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 19:53

Coffee Jones: Jul 4, 2004; 16 bit? Back when we was kids we only got a single bit on Christmas, as a treat
And we had to share it!

quote:

One sunny day in January, 2013 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay", and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?" The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it." The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."

My semi-retarded cousin is a member of the working poor and stands the most to gain from any health care reform.

IIRC he was cheering Obama's election in Nov 08.

quote:

WALMART

1 . Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.
2.. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private Employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.
8. During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 Years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to Fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans

Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To all 535 voting members of the Legislature,
It is now official you are ALL morons:
The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.
Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' and their staff (they never read anything) will clue them in on how Americans feel.

Yes, I am literally an adult with the mind of a child. (ps: I've never been out of my state)

# ? Apr 15, 2010 20:10

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Coffee Jones posted:

My semi-retarded cousin is a member of the working poor and stands the most to gain from any health care reform.

Haha that was a bush one but was made during his second term so at least it didnt assume he wouldnt win 2 terms

...oh I just made myself depressed.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 20:27

Dr. Tough: Oct 22, 2007

Since when do Marines guard the White House? Also why are conservatives obsessed with them anyway?

# ? Apr 15, 2010 21:31

tek79: Jun 16, 2008

Dr. Tough posted:

Since when do Marines guard the White House? Also why are conservatives obsessed with them anyway?

Marines are the antithesis of Conservatives' idealized version of liberals (slouched long-hairs who drives a Prius). Plus a bit of suppressed homoeroticism.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 22:06

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Why wouldn't a bunch of profiteering war mongerers be fans of our nations official rear end kicking team?

# ? Apr 15, 2010 22:08

notcreativeenough: Mar 8, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Dr. Tough posted:

Since when do Marines guard the White House? Also why are conservatives obsessed with them anyway?

Combination of being chickenhawks and secretly homosexual lusting after male symbols of stength.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 22:48

Dr. Tough: Oct 22, 2007

It's just a little disturbing. Especially when they constantly misidentify Army personnel as Marines.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 23:29

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

RagnarokAngel posted:

Shorty but a good one:

I've never understood the anti-tax concept that there's some kind of secret technicality you can use to never pay taxes. This is right up there with "you have my name all in capital letters so it isn't me."

# ? Apr 15, 2010 23:32

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

Dr. Tough posted:

It's just a little disturbing. Especially when they constantly misidentify Army personnel as Marines.

But there are Marine guards at the White House. Marines are responsible for guarding most government installations. The President's personal helicopter is Marine One, so there's a detachment assigned to the White House directly for maintaining that, as well.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 23:37

Dr. Tough: Oct 22, 2007

Deteriorata posted:

But there are Marine guards at the White House. Marines are responsible for guarding most government installations. The President's personal helicopter is Marine One, so there's a detachment assigned to the White House directly for maintaining that, as well.

Doesn't the Army guard the White House too? If so, Obama's greed knows no bounds.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 23:44

notcreativeenough: Mar 8, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Dr. Tough posted:

Doesn't the Army guard the White House too? If so, Obama's greed knows no bounds.

The gate guards are secret service or other gov't agents including the Capital Police. Marines don't guard the gate. They are responsible for attending the helicopter and uniform duties. They aren't the regular duty people.

# ? Apr 15, 2010 23:51

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

A new one from my step dad:

quote:

This is one of the very best comments on the present situation that I have seen! If a white person had written it, it would be considered extremely racial, but since Star Parker is black and admittedly a product of the "welfare state," it is acknowledged as a person speaking from experience. I hope that it gets widely circulated.

Back on Uncle Sam's plantation

Star Parker - Syndicated Columnist

Six years ago I wrote a book called Uncle Sam's Plantation . I wrote the book to tell my own story of what I saw living inside the welfare state and my own transformation out of it.
I said in that book that indeed there are two Americas -- a poor America on socialism and a wealthy America on capitalism.
I talked about government programs like Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), Job Opportunities and Basic Skills Training (JOBS), Emergency Assistance to Needy Families with Children (EANF), Section 8 Housing, and Food Stamps.
A vast sea of perhaps well-intentioned government programs, all initially set into motion in the 1960s by Democrats, that were going to lift the nation's poor out of poverty.
A benevolent Uncle Sam welcomed mostly poor black Americans onto the government plantation. Those who accepted the invitation switched mindsets from "How do I take care of myself?" to "What do I have to do to stay on the plantation?"
Instead of solving economic problems, government welfare socialism created monstrous moral and spiritual problems -- the kind of problems that are inevitable when individuals turn responsibility for their lives over to others.
The legacy of American socialism is our blighted inner cities, dysfunctional inner city schools, and broken black families.
Through God's grace, I found my way out. It was then that I understood what freedom meant and how great this country is.
I had the privilege of working on welfare reform in 1996 which was passed by a Republican controlled Congress.
I thought we were on the road to moving socialism out of our poor black communities and replacing it with wealth-producing American capitalism.
But, incredibly, we are now going in the opposite direction.
Instead of poor America on socialism becoming more like rich American on capitalism, rich America on capitalism is becoming like poor America on socialism.
Uncle Sam has welcomed our banks onto the plantation and they have said, "Thank you, Suh."
Now, instead of thinking about what creative things need to be done to serve customers, they are thinking about what they have to tell Massah in order to get their cash.
There is some kind of irony that this is all happening under our first black president on the 200th anniversary of the birthday of Abraham Lincoln.
Worse, socialism seems to be the element of our new young president. And maybe even more troubling, our corporate executives seem happy to move onto the plantation.
In an op-Ed on the opinion page of the Washington Post, Mr. Obama is clear that the goal of his trillion dollar spending plan is much more than short term economic stimulus.
"This plan is more than a prescription for short-term spending -- it's a strategy for America 's long-term growth and opportunity in areas such as renewable energy, healthcare, and education."
Perhaps more incredibly, Obama seems to think that government taking over an economy is a new idea. Or that massive growth in government can take place "with unprecedented transparency and accountability."
Yes, sir, we heard it from Jimmy Carter when he created the Department of Energy, the Synfuels Corporation, and the Department of Education.
Or how about the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964 -- The War on Poverty -- which President Johnson said "...does not merely expand old programs or improve what is already being done. It charts a new course. It strikes at the causes, not just the consequences of poverty."
Trillions of dollars later, black poverty is the same. But black families are not, with triple the incidence of single-parent homes and out-of-wedlock births.
It's not complicated. Americans can accept Barack Obama's invitation to move onto the plantation. Or they can choose personal responsibility and freedom.
Does anyone really need to think about what the choice should be?
"The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN!
NOW FORWARD THIS...

# ? Apr 16, 2010 05:05

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

Mordiceius posted:

A new one from my step dad:

Hmm. Star Parker is now running for Congress (CA-37). I don't see any possibility of her using emails as viral campaign marketing, do you?

She's insane anyway, but the timing on this is just a wee bit suspicious.

# ? Apr 16, 2010 05:16

Taerkar: Dec 7, 2002; kind of into it, really

Coffee Jones posted:

Yes, I am literally an adult with the mind of a child. (ps: I've never been out of my state)

It amazes me how these people claim that the postal service is 'broken'. It's pretty much the summation of how little they understand things.

# ? Apr 16, 2010 06:24

Commodore 64: Apr 2, 2007; The sky was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel that was orange

Taerkar posted:

It amazes me how these people claim that the postal service is 'broken'. It's pretty much the summation of how little they understand things.

For being "broken" I'm still amazed Medicare's overhead is between 2-5%.

Or how Social Security is "broken".

Or the DOE, etc, etc.

# ? Apr 16, 2010 06:41

Taerkar: Dec 7, 2002; kind of into it, really

I'm pretty sure the thought process is as follows:

1) Is it a Government entity?

If Yes: "~~INEFFIS INEFFICA~~BAD FAILURE, PRIVATIZE!

If No: "GLORIOUS CAPITALISM RIGHTING ALL"

# ? Apr 16, 2010 06:46

chesh: Apr 19, 2004; That was terrible.

Mordiceius posted:

A new one from my step dad:

Wait, TARP is the new slavery? :psyberger:

Taerkar posted:

It amazes me how these people claim that the postal service is 'broken'. It's pretty much the summation of how little they understand things.

The postal service rules. For 42 cents they will come to your house and take some bullshit you wrote and deliver all the way across the country in two days. Hey! Maybe if you think the postal service sucks you might be willing to pay, I dunno, an equal dollar to send that same bullshit?

# ? Apr 16, 2010 10:20

notcreativeenough: Mar 8, 2010; by Fistgrrl

chesh posted:

Wait, TARP is the new slavery?

The postal service rules. For 42 cents they will come to your house and take some bullshit you wrote and deliver all the way across the country in two days. Hey! Maybe if you think the postal service sucks you might be willing to pay, I dunno, an equal dollar to send that same bullshit?

Try four or five dollars. Postal Service used to be quite profitable. Lots of the gov't entitines that have been failing were in fact subcontracted out to private enterprise.

# ? Apr 16, 2010 11:41

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:58

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

One from last year making the rounds again as May approaches

quote:

President Obama has decided that there will no longer be a "National Day of Prayer" held in May. He doesn't want to offend anyone. Where was his concern about offending Christians last January when he allowed the Muslims to hold a day of prayer on the capitol grounds. As an American Christian "I am offended." if you agree, copy and paste no matter what religion you are. This country was built on freedom!!

# ? Apr 16, 2010 15:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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