Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Dr. Tough: Oct 22, 2007

I'm actually a little surprised that whoever did that didn't replace Toto's face with Michelle Obama's.

# ? Apr 25, 2010 17:41

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:27

Logan 5: Jan 29, 2007; Bash -> To the Cop

Mordiceius posted:

Got a new one. :-D

I keep taking turns laughing and crying.

# ? Apr 25, 2010 19:34

De Nomolos: Jan 17, 2007; TV rots your brain like it's crack cocaine

RagnarokAngel posted:

I feel bad following up that welfare email but

(real estate tax email)

Taxes on property and land transactions are generally widely liked by libertarian economists. These people can't even be bothered to be nuanced beyond "tax bad, bad tax."

# ? Apr 25, 2010 20:15

Foyes36: Oct 23, 2005; Food fight!

Mordiceius posted:

Got a new one. :-D

Obama didn't nationalize a single bank, unless you call it 'nationalization' when the FDIC does its job. That doesn't make any sense.

# ? Apr 25, 2010 22:26

Taerkar: Dec 7, 2002; kind of into it, really

Stop using your LIEberal facts.

# ? Apr 26, 2010 15:01

RivensBitch: Jul 25, 2002

Not quite sure where to share this, but I got this in my work email today. Would have deleted it as spam but it was too hillarious:

quote:

From: Notowitz Malzhan [objurgation@amadeus.co.nz]
Subject: N Europe added tragic complexity to an already impossible s

doubt what will happen, stroll down Fifth Avenue, New York, and note the nationality of the names. A Chicago professor carefully noted the nationality of all the names submitted in Chicago's elections for a term of years. Three-quarters

of the names were of nationalities only one generation away from the Ghetto. Man to man on the prairie farm, in the lumber woods, your

Canadian can out-do the Russian or Galician or Hebrew. The Canadian uses more brains and his aggregate returns are bigger; but boned down to a basis of _who_ can save the most and become rich fastest, your foreigner has the native-born Canadian beaten at the start. Where the Canadian earns ten dollars and spends eighty per cent. of it, your foreigner earns five dollars, and saves almost all of it. How does he do this? He spends next to nothing. Let me be perfectly specific on how he does it: I have known Russian, Hebrew, Italian families in the Northwest who sewed their children into their clothes for

the winter and never permitted

a change till spring. Your Canadian would buy half a dozen suits for his children in the interval. Your foreigner buys of furniture and furnishings and comforts practically nothing for the first few years. He sleeps on the floor, with straw for a bed, and he occupies houses twenty-four to a room--which is the actual report in fore

That's it in it's entirety. Attached was an RTF trying to sell me viagra.

# ? Apr 26, 2010 19:06

a foolish pianist: May 6, 2007; (bi)cyclic mutation

Thanks for posting some randomly-generated text.

# ? Apr 26, 2010 20:14

MrPhaethon: Aug 22, 2005; wyrd oft nereð unfægne eorl þonne his ellen deah

RivensBitch posted:

Not quite sure where to share this, but I got this in my work email today. Would have deleted it as spam but it was too hillarious:

That's it in it's entirety. Attached was an RTF trying to sell me viagra.

"The question is - will Canada remain Canada when these new races come up to power?"

Just a bit stolen from a book called the Canadian Commonwealth. Spammer snip bits of all kinds of books to try to bypass filters.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 10:17

Bates: Jun 15, 2006

MrPhaethon posted:

"The question is - will Canada remain Canada when these new races come up to power?"

Just a bit stolen from a book called the Canadian Commonwealth. Spammer snip bits of all kinds of books to try to bypass filters.

You'd think they'd try to get texts vaguely related to the product though. I suspect the group that reads about vile minority groups and then contemplates the troublesome nature of erectile dysfunction is rather small.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 15:18

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Anosmoman posted:

You'd think they'd try to get texts vaguely related to the product though. I suspect the group that reads about vile minority groups and then contemplates the troublesome nature of erectile dysfunction is rather small.

Have I got news for you.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 17:00

Deteriorata: Feb 6, 2005

This blog post seemed quite closely tied to this thread:

quote:

American right-wing leaders are responding to complaints about their adherents� insults, threats, and acts of violence by claiming that such problems occur on the left as well. Of course, they don�t dare to compare and quantify such behavior. That would mean acknowledging that, for example, Congressional historians find no precedent for Rep. Joe Wilson shouting at the President during a joint session of Congress. Or that the Secret Service reported a 400% increase in threats to the President when Barack Obama took office.

To keep on top of urban myths of all kinds, I subscribe to the Snopes.com update list, and I noticed a pattern there that I thought deserved to be examined more arithmetically. It struck me I was seeing a lot more rumors about President Obama, and a lot more false rumors, than I remembered from earlier years. So I ran the numbers, as of this week.

After eight years in the White House (with Snopes.com around all that time), George W. Bush has been the subject of 47 internet rumors. After less than two years in office, Barack Obama has been the subject of 87, or nearly twice as many.

Even more telling is the relative accuracy of those stories. For Bush, 20 rumors, or 43%, are true. Only 17, or 36%, are false. The remainder are of mixed veracity (4), undetermined (4), or unclassifiable (2).

In contrast, for Obama only 8 of the 87 rumors, or 9%, are true, and a whopping 59, or 68%, are whoppers. There are 16 of mixed veracity and 3 undetermined.

I delved down to the stories that the site designates as a mixture of truth and falsehood. For Obama, in most cases the truth is innocuous while the lie reflects poorly on the President, particularly photographs that are misrepresented or show behavior that produced no complaints when his predecessors did the same. In contrast, in this mixture of truth and falsehood about George W. Bush praying with an injured soldier, the lie reflected well on that President from the perspective of the religious person spreading it.

I looked on Snopes�s Politics page for another pair of politicians in parallel situations, and found the losing candidates of the last two presidential elections. Snopes�s page on John Kerry lists 22 rumors, and only 3 are true (14%). Its page for John McCain lists only 11 rumors, and 4 are true (36%). There are far more rumors about the Democratic candidate, and fewer true ones.

This evidence accumulated over ten years shows a shameful but undeniable fact of American politics: our right wing now contains a lot more liars, and a lot more folks who spread lies out of gullibility or wishfulness, than our left wing.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 17:11

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

To be fair a lot of the scary terrible things I tried to make up to slander Bush for turned out to be true so that's skewing the numbers.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 17:35

Walter: Jul 3, 2003; We think they're great. In a grand, mystical, neopolitical sense, these guys have a real message in their music. They don't, however, have neat names like me and Bono.

Deteriorata posted:

This blog post seemed quite closely tied to this thread:

If you were a proper nutcase, you'd forward that.

# ? Apr 27, 2010 20:50

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Mordiceius posted:

Got a new one. :-D

CLASSIC MOVIES REMADE

It looks like this thread and the horrible political cartoons megathread are crossing over

# ? Apr 28, 2010 08:01

jackpot: Aug 31, 2004; First cousin to the Black Rabbit himself. Such was Woundwort's monument...and perhaps it would not have displeased him.<

Intel&Sebastian posted:

To be fair a lot of the scary terrible things I tried to make up to slander Bush for turned out to be true so that's skewing the numbers.

That's the part that drives me crazy. When I'm bored and feeling masochistic I'll dive into my local paper's comments section, and every tea party thread has someone saying "Yeah, but when Bush was president liberals like Cindy Sheehan were saying all the same things, and nobody complained about incendiary rhetoric then!"

Yes, you worthless poo poo for brains, they protested all the loving time. And instead of still demonizing them you should beg their forgiveness for not listening, because they were right.

# ? Apr 28, 2010 17:43

Turing sex machine: Dec 14, 2008; I want to have
your robot-babies

Cardboard Box A posted:

It looks like this thread and the horrible political cartoons megathread are crossing over

Could you link me to it please?

vv Thanks.

Turing sex machine fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Apr 29, 2010

# ? Apr 28, 2010 22:16

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Turing sex machine posted:

Could you link me to it please?

Political Cartoon Extravaganza, 2010 Edition: Now with Diversity Lane[effort]

# ? Apr 29, 2010 10:48

wormil: Sep 12, 2002; Hulk will smoke you!

Another one that made the news.

quote:

"We are Wall Street. It's our job to make money. Whether it's a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn't matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn't hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone's 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I've never heard of anyone going to Gamblers Anonymous because they won too much in Vegas.

Well now the market crapped out, & even though it has come back somewhat, the government and the average Joes are still looking for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are.

Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you're only going to hurt yourselves. What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on the Street anymore? Guess what: We're going to take yours. We get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We're used to not getting up to pee when we have a position. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break. We don't demand a union. We don't retire at 50 with a pension. We eat what we kill, and when the only thing left to eat is on your dinner plates, we'll eat that.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working to notice. Do you really think that we are incapable of teaching 3rd graders and doing landscaping? We're going to take your cushy jobs with tenure and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that we are so-o-o-o underpaid for building the youth of America. Say goodbye to your overtime and double time and a half. I'll be hitting grounders to the high school baseball team for $5k extra a summer, thank you very much.

So now that we're going to be making $85k a year without upside, Joe Mainstreet is going to have his revenge, right? Wrong! Guess what: we're going to stop buying the new 80k car, we aren't going to leave the 35 percent tip at our business dinners anymore. No more free rides on our backs. We're going to landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways. Our money was your money. You spent it. When our money dries up, so does yours.

The difference is, you lived off of it, we rejoiced in it. The Obama administration and the Democratic National Committee might get their way and knock us off the top of the pyramid, but it's really going to hurt like hell for them when our fat a**es land directly on the middle class of America and knock them to the bottom.

We aren't dinosaurs. We are smarter and more vicious than that, and we are going to survive. The question is, now that Obama & his administration are making Joe Mainstreet our food supply�will he? and will they?"

The irony here is that the push to move stock prices is as much to blame for pushing jobs overseas as anything.

# ? May 1, 2010 00:36

Arglebargle III: Feb 21, 2006

The irony is that they destroyed their own industry and still think they're hot poo poo and better than everyone else.

$85K a year, poor babbys.

Arglebargle III fucked around with this message at 04:32 on May 1, 2010

# ? May 1, 2010 04:29

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

wormil posted:

Another one that made the news.

The irony here is that the push to move stock prices is as much to blame for pushing jobs overseas as anything.

Is that...an investment manager threatening to steal an elementary teacher's job? :confused:

# ? May 1, 2010 07:27

Bates: Jun 15, 2006

Strudel Man posted:

Is that...an investment manager threatening to steal an elementary teacher's job?

He and his buddies are going to take your easy, overpaid middleclass job and the jobs they don't take will dissapear because he'll do his own landscaping. You guys better back off on the regulations - he sounds pretty serious.

# ? May 1, 2010 09:16

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Is that e-mail really supposed to inspire anything but white-hot rage at investment bankers and the like?

# ? May 1, 2010 09:47

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Mornacale posted:

Is that e-mail really supposed to inspire anything but white-hot rage at investment bankers and the like?

I think it would have to make a greater amount of sense to inspire that. How many of these Randian supermen does Wall Street even employ? Even if we decided to outright shut down the stock market, it's hard to believe there would be a meaningful impact from the human dislocation.

# ? May 1, 2010 20:06

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

wormil posted:

Another one that made the news.

The irony here is that the push to move stock prices is as much to blame for pushing jobs overseas as anything.

"gently caress you, gonna take yours."

# ? May 1, 2010 21:06

ElectricMayhemBand: Mar 27, 2010

wormil posted:

Another one that made the news.

I love this email so much. Especially the part with the letter-writer has no loving clue about being turned down for jobs due to over-qualification.

You're gonna go be a grade school teacher, huh? Hope you're up for a few years of slumming it with the plebs in a state school so you can get qualified to teach. OH WAIT no elementary or secondary school would consider you anyway because they know you'll be gone the second the finance industry finds another part of the global economy ripe for exploitation. Oh, you'll go teach college instead? Even if you have you have a PhD, don't expect more than occasional adjunct work. You're competing with people who have been in academia for years, and know that particular game far better than you do.

Ahh, schadenfreude. Even if it's a fake, it makes me feel all warm and happy inside. And if it's real? Well, I'd say gently caress that gal/guy with a rake but s/he's already pretty hosed.

And the end of it! EVERYBODY RUN THERE'S A JUNIOR I-BANKER IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD HIS SURVIVAL SKILLS ARE BEYOND COMPARE :derp:

# ? May 2, 2010 02:28

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

ElectricMayhemBand posted:

I love this email so much. Especially the part with the letter-writer has no loving clue about being turned down for jobs due to over-qualification.

You're gonna go be a grade school teacher, huh? Hope you're up for a few years of slumming it with the plebs in a state school so you can get qualified to teach. OH WAIT no elementary or secondary school would consider you anyway because they know you'll be gone the second the finance industry finds another part of the global economy ripe for exploitation. Oh, you'll go teach college instead? Even if you have you have a PhD, don't expect more than occasional adjunct work. You're competing with people who have been in academia for years, and know that particular game far better than you do.

Ahh, schadenfreude. Even if it's a fake, it makes me feel all warm and happy inside. And if it's real? Well, I'd say gently caress that gal/guy with a rake but s/he's already pretty hosed.

And the end of it! EVERYBODY RUN THERE'S A JUNIOR I-BANKER IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD HIS SURVIVAL SKILLS ARE BEYOND COMPARE

No but you see the fact that they were able to exploit their de-regulated industry to make loads of money even while the economy tanked proves that they're infinitely smarter than some :smug:

schoolteacher :smug:

. I mean, teachers barely make any money, how smart could they be?

# ? May 2, 2010 22:17

Foyes36: Oct 23, 2005; Food fight!

Mornacale posted:

No but you see the fact that they were able to exploit their de-regulated industry to make loads of money even while the economy tanked proves that they're infinitely smarter than some schoolteacher . I mean, teachers barely make any money, how smart could they be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF8wLg5Asgo&feature=related

This pretty much sums it up for me.

# ? May 2, 2010 23:49

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Have there been any emails circulating about the Arizona immigration law? I can only guess what fun some conservatives are having with that one.

# ? May 3, 2010 00:09

tek79: Jun 16, 2008

God wants New Orleans wiped off the planet because it's infested with welfare queens, details at 11:00!

Some stupid racist fuckbag rear end in a top hat posted:

Katrina..........now the biggest oil spill ever..........
.........Is God trying to tell us something here??

Tragedy strikes the "BIG EASY"........

Another heartbreak for New Orleans!

It seems like every couple of days New Orleans loses one
Of its treasured entrepreneurs.
These people are the hope for the city and we must call
A halt to this unfortunate trend if we ever expect to see a vibrant city again..

He's 25 and has 3 sons and 6 daughters
NINE welfare recipients collecting $1500 each.....
That equals $13,500 a month !!! Now add food stamps,
Free medical, free school lunches, on and on and on.
Now that, to me, is a real Entrepreneur.
Do the math, that's over $156,000.00 a year.
Anybody out there sittin' on their rear end while reading
this message making that kind of money?
YOUR TAX $$$$ AT WORK?.....
....IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT ??

The image, and some additional commentary are located here: http://www.thesniper.us/?tag=larmondo-allen

# ? May 3, 2010 01:13

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

I...that...that sure is something.

# ? May 3, 2010 01:36

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

You mean all I have to do to be rich is be poor and have kids? Why didn't I think of that?!

# ? May 3, 2010 02:18

Commodore 64: Apr 2, 2007; The sky was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel that was orange

Slaan posted:

You mean all I have to do to be rich is be poor and have kids? Why didn't I think of that?!

Better yet; be an illegal immigrant too!

Stupid, lousy ~~white skin~~ citizenship. :sigh:

# ? May 3, 2010 02:57

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

I'm fairly certain no state pays out $1500 per person in welfare per month.

# ? May 3, 2010 03:14

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

Deuce posted:

I'm fairly certain no state pays out $1500 per person in welfare per month.

Funnily enough though, it costs around $1500 a month to house a prisoner.

# ? May 3, 2010 03:40

notcreativeenough: Mar 8, 2010; by Fistgrrl

fishmech posted:

Funnily enough though, it costs around $1500 a month to house a prisoner.

Only when they don't work in a factory or mine. Certain prisons make a tidy profit or even cost a lot less to operate when they have some sort of work for the prisoners to do. Several dangerous jobs were often done by prisoners or long term work projects. If the prisoners died oh well just get another one.

# ? May 3, 2010 03:42

BEHOLD: MY CAPE: Jan 11, 2004

Deuce posted:

I'm fairly certain no state pays out $1500 per person in welfare per month.

My state pays out approximately $60 per child per month

# ? May 3, 2010 04:01

chesh: Apr 19, 2004; That was terrible.

tek79 posted:

God wants New Orleans wiped off the planet because it's infested with welfare queens, details at 11:00!

The image, and some additional commentary are located here: http://www.thesniper.us/?tag=larmondo-allen

Yeah, and you know what else? gently caress the tornado ally states! Especially that pinko commie Greensburg Kansas!

# ? May 3, 2010 04:59

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

I realized I already replied to this but this is just too stupid. If it's so drat easy to be a welfare king/queen why aren't we all doing it?

# ? May 3, 2010 06:15

tek79: Jun 16, 2008

$1500 a month total is probably the only realistic scenario, I would think. But for the sake of creating an obnoxious email to promote my lovely political worldview, nothing wrong with skewing the numbers a bit eh?

# ? May 3, 2010 14:29

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:27

Deuce: Jun 18, 2004; Mile High Club

tek79 posted:

$1500 a month total is probably the only realistic scenario, I would think. But for the sake of creating an obnoxious email to promote my lovely political worldview, nothing wrong with skewing the numbers a bit eh?

Nothing wrong? It's expected.

# ? May 3, 2010 15:23

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