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I like how it lists 312 different neutrons and then says the atomic mass is 311. Have we found the elusive element with atomic number -1? Also, I'd love to know how the elements rank in order of density.
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Jun 10, 2010 08:54
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My mom sent me this a few days ago. Subject line: FW: Bill Cosby hs done it again!!! (yes that is the actual subject line)  I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.. HERE IS MY PLATFORM: (1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned... English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can. (2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country.... America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports.. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here! (3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here. (4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens. (5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it. (6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades. (7). Professional Athletes -- Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports ... for life. (8). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil. (9). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it's a worthy cause. (10). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress. (11). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. My apology is offered if I've stepped on anyone's toes .... nevertheless.... GOD BLESS AMERICA !  Sincerely, Bill Cosby jonjonaug fucked around with this message at 11:33 on Jun 10, 2010 |
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Jun 10, 2010 11:25
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Sounds like Bill Cosby should've stuck with his Jello thing.
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Jun 10, 2010 11:30
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It's not by Cosby, though. And it started its circulation before the 2008 elections. http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp
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Jun 10, 2010 12:34
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jonjonaug posted:(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country.... America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports.. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here! Wait, am I voting for Bill Cosby or Kim Jong Il? I didn't realize that Juche could be so politically popular here!
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Jun 10, 2010 13:11
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jonjonaug posted:My mom sent me this a few days ago. LESS GOVERNMENT BUT I WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING I AM ABLE TO BUY AND TO BAN ATHLETES. It's so confusing.
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Jun 10, 2010 15:07
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jonjonaug posted:(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country.... America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports.. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here! Hahaha, what the fuuuuuucck is this? No exports, no imports. Hello 3rd world! 
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Jun 10, 2010 16:43
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It worries me that there are people out there whose view of the world is so streamlined that that seems like a workable, leave alone good, idea. Hey guys, why did our economy just explode, flaming out and firing shards of hot ragged shrapnel into what's left of our collapsing middle class? Was it the homos?  Hey guys, I just realized that America has very few natural reserves of many important metals required for us to continue developing high technology. Perhaps we should ask some of our brilliant scientists to develop some from scratch, oh wait we just clubbed them to death in an impotent rage for trying to tell us the Bible isn't 100% literally true. The best part is that they're probably holding up Bill Cosby as the candidate because at one point Cosby criticized a black person while being black himself, thus lending credence to the volatile unemployed racist movement. Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 17:13 on Jun 10, 2010 |
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Jun 10, 2010 17:09
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I just like that the Walmart policy is apparently no imports. Try and wrap your head around that one for a bit.
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Jun 10, 2010 17:47
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farraday posted:I just like that the Walmart policy is apparently no imports. Yeah that caught my eye too. Good thing all the products you find in Walmart are 100% made in the USA! 
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Jun 10, 2010 17:55
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farraday posted:I just like that the Walmart policy is apparently no imports. LOL, let alone if they had ever read these dudes they deify, you know, some Smith, some Ricardo, they would've seen that like every word on every page is about trade between nations. Importing and exporting is an old idea! Like, as old as writing things down! But like, saying "heh, your anthropological knowledge is severely lacking" to that "conservatives walk like this, liberals walk like this!" doesn't mean anything. No one would forward on an email like this unless they were irredeemably stupid and uninformed. The type of person who'd send out "FWD:FWD:FWD:WHITE HOUSE WATERMELON PATCH (just a joke u pc fags)" aren't big book readers. Not engage serious scholarship, big idea people. ManoliIsFat fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Jun 10, 2010 |
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Jun 10, 2010 18:25
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jonjonaug posted:(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country.... America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports.. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here! What the gently caress? Why would you suddenly allow imports after making an assertion that the country has no need for imports whatsoever? 
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Jun 10, 2010 19:01
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Mo_Steel posted:What the gently caress? Why would you suddenly allow imports after making an assertion that the country has no need for imports whatsoever? "Real" answer: because those two years would end up being loving miserable and everyone would be dying to reinstate imports. Actual answer: the author didn't think that hard.
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Jun 10, 2010 20:19
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jonjonaug posted:(6). Welfare. -- Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades. This one baffles me. What school? Are they suggesting that if you don't have a job you should go to college? I mean that's a genuinely noble (but probably unintentional) assertion and all but if you're on welfare you probably can't afford it and College doesn't go for 40 hours a week. Hell grade school doesn't, it's typically 30. So what magical school is 40 hours a week? quote:(10). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
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Jun 10, 2010 20:19
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I'm just impressed that the President has sole control over the price of wheat in the global market. Who knew?
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Jun 10, 2010 20:23
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So there are people that think the US is the only place where wheat is grown or something?
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Jun 10, 2010 20:44
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AKA Pseudonym posted:So there are people that think the US is the only place where wheat is grown or something? Apparently, I suspect the Ukrainians would quite offended, among others. And pushing "1" for English is apparently an outrageous insult. And we have the typical hardcore conservative approach of solving problems by shooting them.
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Jun 10, 2010 20:56
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Has anyone ever had to actually press 1 for English? Whenever I call somewhere, it's always like "Thank you for calling _____. Para español, presione dos. Please listen to the following options: To check on your order... etc."
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Jun 10, 2010 21:01
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quote:(1). Any use of the phrase: 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned.. What is this? A radical restriction of personal freedoms, an abrogation of the 1st amendment, and a fulsome expansion of federal power? Sounds like a conservative idea.
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Jun 10, 2010 21:04
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AKA Pseudonym posted:So there are people that think the US is the only place where wheat is grown or something? Obviously the majority of people in the world only eat American wheat. Not, for instance, rice. Even in wheat production USA ranks third after China and India. Maize is one where US production overwhelms rest of the world, but I think United States needs oil more than Arabs need corn flakes or tortillas...
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Jun 10, 2010 21:20
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Nenonen posted:Obviously the majority of people in the world only eat American wheat. Not, for instance, rice. Yeah... what do we produce, like 20% of our consumption? The increase in price of gasoline would be so drastic half our country couldn't afford food anymore. Hope you like paying $20 for a loaf of bread!
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Jun 10, 2010 22:04
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Vastly Outnumbered posted:I received this earlier today from a friend I've known since pre-school. I wouldn't call it crazy so much as idiotic, but it's occurred to me that the only correspondence I receive from this person is these stupid goddamn e-mail forwards, and it's really beginning to wear thin. Isn't the guy who has the line 'I do not like it Sam I am' the one who, in the end, realizes that he was entirely incorrect?
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Jun 10, 2010 22:35
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ducttape posted:Isn't the guy who has the line 'I do not like it Sam I am' the one who, in the end, realizes that he was entirely incorrect? Yes, Sam was so blinded by the appearance of the green eggs and ham that he decided he didn't like it before he tried it. When he finally breaks down and tries it in the end it turns out he was actually just being incredibly stubborn and retarded. It's actually very apt because thats exactly how most republicans function. maybe Deep Hurting could make it into something funny. There is a joke buried somewhere in there, but I cant put it into words.
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Jun 10, 2010 23:10
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the posted:Has anyone ever had to actually press 1 for English? Whenever I call somewhere, it's always like "Thank you for calling _____. Para español, presione dos. Please listen to the following options: To check on your order... etc."
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Jun 11, 2010 01:25
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jonjonaug posted:
Bill Cosby didn't write that. 
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Jun 11, 2010 16:07
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Yeah that was one of the first ones posted in the thread. Conservatives use bill cosby cause one time he showed disdain for keeping your pants below the belt so now they just put all their racist views onto him because it's not racist if a black man said it.
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Jun 11, 2010 22:32
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Nenonen posted:Obviously the majority of people in the world only eat American wheat. Not, for instance, rice. New strategy: Make tortillas are the new Coke. Then who will be rolling in the dough? 
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Jun 12, 2010 04:02
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So I read Thomas Frank's What's the matter with Kansas? and then I read this head and my head exploded at how much sense everything makes now.
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Jun 12, 2010 07:13
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Expect bastardised quotes from this to appear in your inbox soon.
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Jun 12, 2010 14:44
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MOLLUSC posted:Expect bastardised quotes from this to appear in your inbox soon. Really. They really said Obama has Asperger's. On purpose.
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Jun 12, 2010 16:06
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Gourd of Taste posted:Really. They really said Obama has Asperger's. On purpose. American Thinker is filled with this sort of thing.
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Jun 12, 2010 16:44
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MOLLUSC posted:Expect bastardised quotes from this to appear in your inbox soon. Holy crap. "Schizotypal"? He isn't really a licensed psychotherapist, right? 'Cause that's downright scary.
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Jun 12, 2010 18:28
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Stoic Madman posted:Apparently, I suspect the Ukrainians would quite offended, among others. This always confuses me. Conservatives believe in the infallibility of the free market correct? Well isn't offering the phone call in another language just a company expanding its customer base and allowing for greater expansion and profits by catering to more people? That really is the free market at work, and any governmental restriction of this would be the government restricting the free market and go along the vague lines of their worst enemy: socialism. If that's the case shouldn't conservatives love the idea of Press 1 for English?
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Jun 12, 2010 19:23
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:This always confuses me. Conservatives believe in the infallibility of the free market correct? Well isn't offering the phone call in another language just a company expanding its customer base and allowing for greater expansion and profits by catering to more people? That really is the free market at work, and any governmental restriction of this would be the government restricting the free market and go along the vague lines of their worst enemy: socialism. If that's the case shouldn't conservatives love the idea of Press 1 for English? This is an excellent point and I'm going to use it when I argue with nativist types. But really, they only support the free market when it doesn't infringe on their other beliefs. For example, the pornography industry produces billions a year, and there's something for everyone's taste, a shining example of the free market in action. I'm referring to adult porn here of course, not child porn. But conservatives would LOVE to shut down porn companies. If they really supported the free market and were against government interference in business, they'd be staunchly against any attempts to regulate or ban porn. As it stands, they rail against it and probably have a bigger porn collection than I do. Stoic Madman fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Jun 12, 2010 |
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Jun 12, 2010 19:46
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There was a lot of this bullshit diagnosis stuff going around when Bush was in office, too. One idiot wrote an actual book, sold in real book stores (!), where he psychoanalyzed Bush using nothing more than publically available video and statements:quote:Dr. Frank diagnosed the President suffering from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); an Oedipal Complex; untreated and uncured alcoholism (“dry drunk"); paranoia; sadism; psychical reality; and a megalomania complex. He keenly observed that Bush throughout his entire life has been struggling to manage his anxiety. It is through various ways of managing anxiety that Bush has revealed his psychoses. Of course, most of that is likely true...
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Jun 12, 2010 19:48
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quote:untreated and uncured alcoholism (“dry drunk")
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Jun 12, 2010 20:05
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quote:Oedipal Complex Oh gently caress, I just remembered what his mother looks like.
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Jun 12, 2010 20:10
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quote:March of 2005 was the first time this song was performed by Diamond Rio at a concert in Las Vegas. They received an immediate resounding standing ovation, and continue to do so every time they perform it! At the time, my thought was, "Everyone who loves America will be so thrilled to hear this song!" Although Diamond Rio has never before done a statement song, they felt compelled to record "In God We Still Trust." But guess what? Sadly, major radio stations wouldn't play it because it was considered politically incorrect. Consequently, the song was never released to the public.  Edit: Actually the variants are good too in their own hosed up ways so I'll post em too: http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/diamondrio.asp quote:YOU WONT HEAR THIS SONG IN A PUBLIC BROADCAST: quote:The song you are about to listen to is from a Las Vegas Diamond Rio concert. They received an immediate resounding standing ovation, and continue to do so every time they perform it! Sadly, major radio stations wouldn't play it because it was considered 'politically incorrect'. Consequently, the song was never released to the public. Now Congress is getting involved. RagnarokAngel fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Jun 12, 2010 |
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Jun 12, 2010 20:38
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Not a forward, but I just spent three hours in the car with my dad. We got into the topic of politics, and he couldn't stop spouting Beck talking points long enough to address anything I said. A few choice nuggets:
I just sent him the Treaty of Tripoli as a counterpoint to the last item, although he said he won't trust anything but the "actual document". The link I sent has a scan of the actual document, so I don't know if that will be enough proof. I'll probably get a four paragraph response with no citations in response to my email, but I'll be sure to share it when I get it. During the trip I also announced my upcoming engagement, to which he only replied, "Why are you doing that?" and stayed silent the rest of the way.
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Jun 12, 2010 20:50
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Pungent Mammy posted:
That's pretty much an accurate description of the first Red Scare to be honest.
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Jun 12, 2010 20:59
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