Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

«‹›1550 »

BigHead: Jul 25, 2003; Huh?; Nap Ghost

Anthropolis posted:

You had me at rural alaskan clerkship. I've got some phone interviews coming up so let me send you PM.

Go right ahead! Edit: Oh you already did!

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:10

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:04

remote control carnivore: May 7, 2009

Ainsley McTree posted:

Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much

Well what good does that do us?

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:23

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Ainsley McTree posted:

Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much

No, you get to be the career services guy.
You don't need to be sober or do anything. Well, except when the visiting students come, you'll need to look competent and promise them $150k/yr

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:36

HooKars: Feb 22, 2006; Comeon!

First day of being employed!

Had two other people start with me as Associates - both recent local T2 grads who just passed the bar, neither of whom summered with the firm and neither seemed like they had too much summer experience. One mentioned working as a paralegal.

Soooo I guess you never know? Thought I'd give people some hope.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:40

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

nm posted:

promise them $150k/yr

I didn't say for who

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:46

Roger_Mudd: Jul 18, 2003; Buglord

Ainsley McTree posted:

Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much

You have made 2 errors so far.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 02:47

Alaemon: Jan 4, 2009; Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

For sheer weapons-grade bureaucracy, I always admired the Registrar's Office.

At Cooley we have to declare a concentration (for some reason) (I guess technically you don't have to, but then you get lumped into the "no concentration" track which has its own requirements).

Girl I knew was going into the litigation concentration, so she filled out the form and had one of the Innocence Project supervisors sign it. Which the registrar's office lost.

They told her to have the professor make a copy of the original. Except, of course, that the document the office lost WAS the original.

Okay, simple enough, have the professor sign a second form.

Oh, this form? This form can't leave the office. We can't just GIVE YOU this form.

I guess what I'm saying is I'd like to be Registrar.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 03:15

TheMadMilkman: Dec 10, 2007

Ainsley McTree posted:

I didn't say for who

Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 03:35

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

nm posted:

Alright, time to start Goon Law School.

Hey everybody, you should go to law school. Got a 140 LSAT? 2.0 GPA? Can you get $50k/yr in loans? Do I have a school for you! We're almost accredited too.

We should open it in California because gently caress the ABA state accreditation is where it's at and also there's a high population density to support us and people would be willing to move to CA from almost anywhere.

E: I want to be Dean of Students

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:05

Ersatz: Sep 17, 2005

TheMadMilkman posted:

Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something.

Do you happen to have a copy of the announcement from the last time around, or do you remember what the requirements were? A good friend of mine is still looking for work and would be highly interested.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:06

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Incredulous Red posted:

We should open it in California because gently caress the ABA state accreditation is where it's at and also there's a high population density to support us and people would be willing to move to CA from almost anywhere.

E: I want to be Dean of Students

I agree, CA is a good idea. Though it sounds like we have an in with the ABA.
The advantage of no ABA though is that we then don't need to require 4 year degrees. And then we really clean up. University of Phoenix Law School.

The real key jobs are:
Recruiter
Guy who sets up the loans

These are the people who make University of Phoenix so profitable. the second guy is particularly important. We don't care so much about interests rates, just whether we get paid.

Another idea: We require 1Ls to live on campus. Charge $1500/mo. for a shared room. Say it improves teamwork. Extra loan money straight to our pockets.

Dean of Flunking the bottom 2/3 Spring Semester of 3rd year so out Bar numbers stay up: NM
Head of Career Services: Ainsley
Registrar: Alaemon
Dean of Students: Incredulous Red
Head of the Innocence Project: Whatever Grumblefish is calling himself.

We still need:
President: We need someone successful for this, with few morals. Does Clarence Thomas need a side gig?
Dean of Admissions: Be willing to lie and admit everyone
Provost: You're hosed
Loan dude: We need someone good a math. Most important job.
And we might need some profs.

nm fucked around with this message at 04:20 on Aug 31, 2010

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:10

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

TheMadMilkman posted:

Speaking of jobs, grab an Intro to Accounting review book or something. The IRS should have another major hiring push in the next month or so. You won't start work until March, but it's something.

Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something?

nm posted:

I agree, CA is a good idea. Though it sounds like we have an in with the ABA.
The advantage of no ABA though is that we then don't need to require 4 year degrees. And then we really clean up. University of Phoenix Law School.

The real key jobs are:
Recruiter
Guy who sets up the loans

These are the people who make University of Phoenix so profitable. the second guy is particularly important. We don't care so much about interests rates, just whether we get paid.

Another idea: We require 1Ls to live on campus. Charge $1500/mo. for a shared room. Say it improves teamwork. Extra loan money straight to our pockets.

At UConn where I did my undergrad, the business majors were required to buy laptops from the business school, even if they already had their own. We could do that! And then we could ban them from the classrooms anyway because it would be funny

We could make an online law school. Do they have those yet?

Ainsley McTree fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Aug 31, 2010

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:12

nm: Jan 28, 2008; "I saw Minos the Space Judge holding a golden sceptre and passing sentence upon the Martians. There he presided, and around him the noble Space Prosecutors sought the firm justice of space law."

Ainsley McTree posted:

Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something?

At UConn where I did my undergrad, the business majors were required to buy laptops from the business school, even if they already had their own. We could do that! And then we could ban them from the classrooms anyway because it would be funny

Have you ever worked for the university of Minnesota law school? They do both these

quote:

We could make an online law school. Do they have those yet?

Yes. We can have an online component, but they still must live on campus.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:19

Bro Enlai: Nov 9, 2008

Ainsley McTree posted:

Can I be a professor? I promise to be sober most of the time and not yell too much

You know how my Torts professor reenacted Palsgraf with toys, well I have even more toys

# ? Aug 31, 2010 04:43

sigmachiev: Dec 31, 2007; Fighting blood excels

I want in on Goon Law School. I call dibs on head of career services.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:20

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

nm posted:

Have you ever worked for the university of Minnesota law school? They do both these

Yes. We can have an online component, but they still must live on campus.

And they'll have to use our laptops to get to it! It's brilliant!

Seriously though I think I'm literally going to move to California, open up an unaccredited law school, charge $1,000/year tuition, teach nothing but the Bar and say "good luck". There's no laws against that right?

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:21

Blakkout: Aug 24, 2006; No thought was put into this.

Wow, Law Review is going to be a huge pain in the rear end, isn't it? I spent the entire day realizing how much I don't know about the law library and searching for books for a cite check... and this is only the first issue. Christ.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:34

Leif.: Mar 27, 2005; Son of the Defender
Formerly Diplomaticus/SWATJester

nm posted:

I agree, CA is a good idea. Though it sounds like we have an in with the ABA.
The advantage of no ABA though is that we then don't need to require 4 year degrees. And then we really clean up. University of Phoenix Law School.

The real key jobs are:
Recruiter
Guy who sets up the loans

These are the people who make University of Phoenix so profitable. the second guy is particularly important. We don't care so much about interests rates, just whether we get paid.

Another idea: We require 1Ls to live on campus. Charge $1500/mo. for a shared room. Say it improves teamwork. Extra loan money straight to our pockets.

Dean of Flunking the bottom 2/3 Spring Semester of 3rd year so out Bar numbers stay up: NM
Head of Career Services: Ainsley
Registrar: Alaemon
Dean of Students: Incredulous Red
Head of the Innocence Project: Whatever Grumblefish is calling himself.

We still need:
President: We need someone successful for this, with few morals. Does Clarence Thomas need a side gig?
Dean of Admissions: Be willing to lie and admit everyone
Provost: You're hosed
Loan dude: We need someone good a math. Most important job.
And we might need some profs.

I'm totally in as Provost. I love being that guy.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:39

Bro Enlai: Nov 9, 2008

Ainsley McTree posted:

Seriously though I think I'm literally going to move to California, open up an unaccredited law school, charge $1,000/year tuition, teach nothing but the Bar and say "good luck". There's no laws against that right?

the my garden shed school of law

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:41

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

sigmachiev posted:

I call dibs on head of career services.

Ladies and gentlemen, the soon to be most hated man in the future Shack Next To Culver City In N Out School of Law

# ? Aug 31, 2010 05:57

TheMadMilkman: Dec 10, 2007

Ainsley McTree posted:

Do you need to have some kind of educational requirement, or is there just a test or something?

Turns out I still have the old announcement saved on usajobs. Wall of text begins now:

quote:

Qualifications:
Applicants at all grades must demonstrate their knowledge of Principles of Accounting. Candidates demonstrate this knowledge either through successful completion of six credit hours of college level accounting work or successfully passing an accounting assessment. If you do not pass the accounting assessment, you will be considered not qualified for the position of Tax Compliance officer.

Grade 5: To be minimally qualified for the GS-5 level, you must meet the basic
requirements below:

A. Bachelor's or higher degree in any field of study from an accredited college or university.

OR

B. At least 4 full years of progressive academic study (120 semester
hours) leading to a Bachelor's degree at an accredited college or university.

OR

C. Certificate as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA) obtained through written examination in a State, territory or the District of Columbia.

OR

D. 3 years of general experience, 1 year of which was equivalent to the GS-4 level in the Federal government. Experience must have provided a general knowledge of business practices. Such experience
may have been gained in government, business or industry, investigative work, banking, law, accounting, or other work appropriate to the position to be filled.

OR

E. A combination of experience and education at an accredited
college or university equivalent to 4 years.

Grade 7: To be minimally qualified for the GS-7 level, you must meet the basic requirements below.

A. Superior Academic Achievement - A Bachelor's degree, with one of the following: A GPA of 3.0 or higher on a 4.0 scale for all completed undergraduate courses or those completed in the last 2 years of study, or a GPA of 3.5 or higher on a 4.0 scale for all courses in the major field of study or those courses in the major completed in the last 2 years of study, or rank in the upper one third of the class in the college, university, or major subdivision, or membership in a national honor society recognized by the Association of College Honor Societies. Note: Grade point averages
should be rounded to one decimal point. For example, 2.95 is rounded
to 3.0, and 2.94 is rounded to 2.9. If more than 10percent of your undergraduate course work (credit hours) was taken on a pass/fail or
similar basis, your claim must be based on class standing or membership in an Honor Society.

OR

B. At least 1 academic year of graduate education in a field of
study such as: accounting, auditing, taxation, business administration, law, or other related fields.

OR

C. At least 1 year of specialized experience equivalent to the GS-5
level in the Federal Government that demonstrated a substantive knowledge of business practices, basic accounting principles, and
Federal tax laws and regulations; and that required the ability to
audit tax records, analyze systems and bookkeeping, use factfinding
techniques, and develop interpersonal skills.

OR

D. At least 1 year of combined graduate education and experience as
defined in paragraphs B and C above.

GRADE 9: To be minimally qualified for the GS-9, you must meet the basic requirements below.

A. Master's or equivalent graduate degree in a field of study in an
accredited college or university in accounting, auditing, taxation, business administration, law, or other related fields.

OR

B. 2 full years of progressively higher level graduate education
leading to such a degree in accounting, auditing, taxation, business
administration, law, or other related fields.

OR

C. LL.B. or J.D., if related to accounting, auditing, taxation, business administration, law, or other related fields.

OR

D. At least 1 year of specialized experience equivalent to the GS-7
level in the Federal Government. Qualifying specialized experience may have been gained in work such as:

~ Office auditing of various types of tax returns to determine tax liability of individual tax payers, businesses, or corporations.
~ Applying pertinent parts of the Internal Revenue Code and related
regulations and procedures to: (1) conduct comprehensive analytical
examinations, (2) use creative in-office factfinding techniques, and
(3) develop effective public contact skills.
~ Determination and redetermination, or audit, on liability for Federal taxes.
~ Program evaluation, internal audit or administrative management of
the assessment and collection of Federal taxes (other than alcohol and tobacco).
~ Investigating alleged criminal violations of Federal tax statutes
and making recommendations for criminal prosecution and assertion of
civil penalties.
~ Collecting delinquent Federal taxes (other than alcohol and tobacco), including canvassing for unreported taxes due, and securing
delinquent returns.

E. At least 1 year of combined graduate education and experience as described above.Qualifying education from colleges and universities in foreign
countries must be evaluated in terms of equivalency to that acquired
in U.S. colleges and universities. Applicants educated in whole or
in part in foreign countries must submit sufficient evidence,
including transcripts; to an accredited private organization for an
equivalency evaluation of course work, including grade and credit
conversion, and degree. You must provide a copy of the letter
containing the results of the equivalency evaluation as supporting
documentation. Failure to provide such documentation when requested
will result in lost consideration.
Requirements:
Male applicants born after December 31, 1959, must certify at the
time of appointment that they have registered with the Selective
Service System, or are exempt from having to do so under Selective
Service law.

- Required to submit fingerprint cards as part of the pre-employment
process.
- Required to provide information to complete a thorough background
investigation.
- Subject to the requirement of the U.S. Department of the Treasury
to undergo an income tax verification and post-employment tax audit.
- Required to possess or obtain a valid driver's license, for
positions in which operating a motor vehicle is essential to
efficient performance of assigned work.

MANDATORY TRAINING: During the first year, all applicants selected for these positions will receive approximately 1 week of orientation, 10 weeks of classroom training and 40 weeks of on-the-job training. Overnight travel may be required for both orientation and classroom training, while on-the-job training is generally provided in the employee's post of duty. The training program consists of alternating periods of classroom and on-the-job training.

Travel for this position is often confined to the local area. However, overnight travel could exceed 25%.

How You Will Be Evaluated:
For each geographic location included in this vacancy announcement, applicants will be scheduled in groups of 50 for assessments, interview, or referral for selection consideration based on the date and time the application is received. Applications will continue to be processed in groups of 50 as long as vacancies remain for specific geographic location.

If you are eligible and qualified for this position based upon your responses to the application questions, and are within reach of consideration based on the date and time you applied, you may receive electronic information directing you to the assessment process. You will only receive this information if we are potentially hiring from this announcement in your location preference indicated. This electronic information will include directions for accessing the assessment website and an user log-in. You will be required to complete the on-line Tax Compliance Officer Self Assessment (TCO-SA). The TCO-SA is a series of questions designed to measure the competencies required for successful job performance. The TCO-SA takes about 30 minutes to complete. If you do not pass the TCO-SA, you will be considered Not Qualified for the position. If you pass the TCO-SA, you will also be asked to complete an on-line job simulation. The on-line simulation takes about 1 hour to complete. If you do not pass the on line job simulation, you will be considered Not Qualified for the position of Tax Compliance Officer. If you pass both assessment instruments, you will be placed into one of the three tentative category group (A, B, C) based upon your results. Each category group represents a quality level. Category A is the highest and Category C being the lowest.

Candidates will be considered for an interviewed in category order. Candidates who fail the interview will be considered not qualified for the position of Tax Compliance Officer.

Qualified veterans who claim preference based on a compensable service-connected disability of 30% or more (CPS), and those with a compensable service-connected disability of 10% but less that 30%(CP) move from their assigned category group to the top of the highest category group (A) and will be provided absolute preference over non-preference eligibles. All other preference eligibles (XP and TP)will be provided absolute preference over non-preference eligibles within their assigned category group (A, B, or C). To pass over any qualified preference eligible(s) to select a non-preference eligible requires approval under formal objection procedures.

Note: You may be "tentatively" assigned to a category group pending qualifications validation and assessment results. Final category assignment does not occur until referral on a certificate.

Costs incurred (i.e. travel, etc. to and from the interview site) are not reimbursable by the IRS.

NOTE: Your assessments (including on line assessments and interviews)
scores are good for an indefinite period of time. You will only be allowed to take the assessments once in a 12-month period. If you choose to retake the assessments after 12 months, your most current
score will be used.

Competencies measured by the assessment process include:

Mathematical Reasoning: Solves practical problems by choosing appropriately from a variety of mathematical and statistical techniques.

Self-Management: Sets well-defined and realistic personal goals; displays a high level of initiative, effort, and commitment towards completing assignments in a timely manner; works with minimal supervision; is motivated to achieve; demonstrates responsible behavior.

Technology Application: Uses machines, tools, or equipment effectively; uses computers and computer applications to analyze and communicate information in the appropriate format.

Conflict Management: Manages and resolves conflict, grievances, confrontations or disagreements in a constructive manner to minimize negative personal impact.

Principles of Accounting: Knowledge of the basic concepts of financial analysis and recording (e.g., the full accounting Cycle,
preparation of work sheets, financial statements, ledgers, and journals).

Decision Making: Makes sound, well-informed, and objective decisions;
perceives the impact and implications of decisions; commits to action, even in uncertain situations, to accomplish organizational goals; causes change.

Integrity/Honesty: Contributes to maintaining the integrity of the
organization; displays high standards of ethical conduct and understands the impact of violating these standards on an organization, self, and others; is trustworthy.

Influencing/Negotiating: Persuades others to accept recommendations,
cooperate, or change their behavior; works with others towards an agreement; negotiates to find mutually acceptable solutions.

Interpersonal Skills: Shows understanding, courtesy, tact, empathy,
concern; develops & maintains relationships; may deal with people who
are difficult, hostile, distressed; relates well to people from
varied backgrounds & situations; is sensitive to individual differences.

Oral Communications: Expresses information (for example, ideas or facts) to individuals or groups effectively, taking into account the audience and nature of the information (for example, technical, sensitive, controversial); makes clear and convincing oral presentations; listens to others, attends to nonverbal cues, and
responds appropriately.

Planning and Evaluating: Organizes work, sets priorities, determines
resource requirements; determines short- or long- term goals and strategies to achieve them; coordinates with other organizations or
parts of the organization; monitors progress, evaluates outcomes.

Problem Solving: Identifies problems; determines accuracy and relevance of information; uses sound judgment to generate and evaluate alternatives, and to make recommendations.

Stress Tolerance: Deals calmly and effectively with high stress
situations (for example, tight deadlines, hostile individuals, emergency situations, dangerous situations).To preview questions please click here.

The accounting assessment, if you don't have the credits, is a joke. Buy an intro to accounting review book off of Amazon and teach it to yourself in a night or two and you should pass.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:02

Konstantin: Jun 20, 2005; And the Lord said, "Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.

I think our new law school should offer a specialization in Internet Law. That ought to get a lot of the 0Ls to register.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:18

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

TheMadMilkman posted:

Turns out I still have the old announcement saved on usajobs. Wall of text begins now:

The accounting assessment, if you don't have the credits, is a joke. Buy an intro to accounting review book off of Amazon and teach it to yourself in a night or two and you should pass.

Interesting...interesting. I'll look into this, thanks.

Though I do wonder if "I'm an accountant for the IRS" is a bigger getting laid repellent than "I'm unemployed"

My conversations with women are kind of a fun rollercoaster though. Usually it goes

Her: So what do you do?

Me: I'm a lawyer...

Her: *eyes light up*

Me: ...technically

Her: I'm gonna mingle

# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:30

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

I think our law school should have a cafeteria that serves tacos. They're cheap so there's a good profit margin, and it will keep the huddled masses complacent while they indenture their collective futures to filling our coffers.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:34

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

I am in, and will teach the mandatory 1L class Island Law, writing my own textbook, revising it slightly each year and requiring purchase of the new version.

I will require an out-of-the-way office with frosted windows and a hidden escape hatch behind my office chair that dumps me directly into a discreet alleyway, bar or unused classroom when I lean back really far.

On the first day of class, all students will be required to fill out a Mad Libs form of nouns, verbs, etc. that will be used in a pre-planned form letter when they ask me for letters of recommendation. Jennifer has a very chocolatey personality and her biggest assets are her railing, cellphone and Optimus Prime.

Every Friday will be Life Skills Friday, meaning that I expect whoever I call upon to be drunk, but still able to discuss cases via the Socratic Method. Bonus points to the final grade are awarded if the student is able to maintain civility when it becomes entirely obvious that I haven't read the cases, repeat the same question with different language, repeat the same question in a different language, text other people while they answer, or text the student answering the question while they answer. wut u doin tonite?

There will be no penis jokes or snickering during the discussion of Chapter 3, Cockfighting.

There will be a two-week period mid-semester in which I will be absent but students will be required to work on their floats for the Island Law parade. Points will be awarded based upon theme, execution, and aesthetics, with bonus points going to the team that blares the most annoying Filipino pop music.

I will usually start class 10-25 minutes late, and will likely spill over into the next period. Students should make their own arrangements with the professor whose class is next. Though I do expect the students to be prepared for class, those who are not prepared when called upon may choose to take the 'karaoke' option, and perform one of three songs that I will present. At least two will be in English, and points will be awarded primarily on effort and perseverence rather than tone.

Am already sewing elbow patches onto my barong.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 06:35

Incredulous Red: Mar 25, 2008

Abugadu posted:

I am in, and will teach the mandatory 1L class Island Law, writing my own textbook, revising it slightly each year and requiring purchase of the new version.

I will require an out-of-the-way office with frosted windows and a hidden escape hatch behind my office chair that dumps me directly into a discreet alleyway, bar or unused classroom when I lean back really far.

On the first day of class, all students will be required to fill out a Mad Libs form of nouns, verbs, etc. that will be used in a pre-planned form letter when they ask me for letters of recommendation. Jennifer has a very chocolatey personality and her biggest assets are her railing, cellphone and Optimus Prime.

Every Friday will be Life Skills Friday, meaning that I expect whoever I call upon to be drunk, but still able to discuss cases via the Socratic Method. Bonus points to the final grade are awarded if the student is able to maintain civility when it becomes entirely obvious that I haven't read the cases, repeat the same question with different language, repeat the same question in a different language, text other people while they answer, or text the student answering the question while they answer. wut u doin tonite?

There will be no penis jokes or snickering during the discussion of Chapter 3, Cockfighting.

There will be a two-week period mid-semester in which I will be absent but students will be required to work on their floats for the Island Law parade. Points will be awarded based upon theme, execution, and aesthetics, with bonus points going to the team that blares the most annoying Filipino pop music.

I will usually start class 10-25 minutes late, and will likely spill over into the next period. Students should make their own arrangements with the professor whose class is next. Though I do expect the students to be prepared for class, those who are not prepared when called upon may choose to take the 'karaoke' option, and perform one of three songs that I will present. At least two will be in English, and points will be awarded primarily on effort and perseverence rather than tone.

Am already sewing elbow patches onto my barong.

Chapter 4: Coconut Crabs, Conservation and the Law. Must include a recipe for homemade aioli in the notes for one of the cases

# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:04

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Incredulous Red posted:

Chapter 4: Coconut Crabs, Conservation and the Law. Must include a recipe for homemade aioli in the notes for one of the cases

Aioli? Aren't those those things in your lungs?

Oh no, is Guam one of those cannibal islands?

# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:29

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

Ainsley McTree posted:

Oh no, is Guam one of those cannibal islands?

Well, some of the girls ARE head-hunters...

# ? Aug 31, 2010 07:51

Alaemon: Jan 4, 2009; Proctors are guardians of the sanctity and integrity of legal education, therefore they are responsible for the nourishment of the soul.

Red Bean Juice posted:

You know how my Torts professor reenacted Palsgraf with toys, well I have even more toys

Due to the spike in enrollment, we have had to divide up 1L classes. All incoming 1Ls are now required to take the following courses:

Tort Law Prior to Palsgraf
Civ Pro Prior to Pennoyer
Con Law Prior to Wickard

# ? Aug 31, 2010 08:03

entris: Oct 22, 2008; by Y Kant Ozma Post

Alaemon posted:

Due to the spike in enrollment, we have had to divide up 1L classes. All incoming 1Ls are now required to take the following courses:

Tort Law Prior to Palsgraf
Civ Pro Prior to Pennoyer
Con Law Prior to Wickard

This is a joke, right?

# ? Aug 31, 2010 11:08

Solomon Grundy: Feb 10, 2007; Born on a Monday

I would like to reserve a spot as the doddering old professor emeritus. I will teach two classes a semester, admiralty law and personal tax, even though I have never practiced in either area. I don't even do my own taxes. Due to my age, I will add some gravitas to you whipper-snappers. I will wear old guy hats and drive a 1985 Chrysler New Yorker to campus. I will call students by wrong names all year long. I will not allow students to "pass" in class, because that is not how we did it when I was a student. Not only will laptops be banned, cell phones will be collected at the door. I will teach with lecture and socratic method only, no powerpoint or other fancy teaching aids. The books I assign will have last been printed in the mid 1960's.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 11:14

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

The fiesta cat guy has to teach CrimPro.

e: yeah, he's not a JD, but in order to raise startup funds you could grant honorary degrees a polite period of time after receiving generous donations.

joat mon fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Aug 31, 2010

# ? Aug 31, 2010 13:41

JudicialRestraints: Oct 26, 2007; Are you a LAWYER? Because I'll have you know I got GOOD GRADES in LAW SCHOOL last semester. Don't even try to argue THE LAW with me.

Can I be Diversity Coordinator? I promise to start out normal and slowly ramp up the racism until it reaches the point where we are giving out the prestigious Uncle Tom Scholarship.

Bonus points if I can teach a class called "Admiralty Law, Discipline and the Triangle Trade"

# ? Aug 31, 2010 13:53

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

In this month's ABA Journal there is an awesome juxtaposition of articles that I had to laugh at. First is an article about how "legal businesses" are gaining steam---these are "entreprenurs" who figured out that law firms bill for poo poo that clients don't want to pay for and that can be done routinely, by laypeople, or even automatically. Of course, the ABA gives lip service to its model rules and how they prohibit the unauthorized practice of law, but then quotes someone who basically says "So what? Who cares about the ABA rules? We're printing money at the expense of lawyers," and the article approves. Lawyers must adapt to these changing times!

Right after that is an article about unemployed graduates with $200,000 in loans and lawyers who are selling poo poo on ebay to survive. The ABA's take: unemployment is good for the soul and lets people figure out what they really want to do with their lives.

gently caress the ABA.

PS this is the "legal rebels" issue, where they glorify solos with bizarre niche practice areas as if that's a piece of cake.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:06

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

Phil Moscowitz posted:

gently caress the ABA.

PS this is the "legal rebels" issue, where they glorify solos with bizarre niche practice areas as if that's a piece of cake.

The Journal has taken a serious nosedive in quality with the advent of legal blogging. It's like we decided to say "me too", only in a print version and 8 years too late.

The ABA puts on a brave public face but it is chaos around here. We relied for so long on the continued fattening of our member base (huge firms and their equally huge wallets) and now that firms are cutting unnecessary expenses, we're scrambling to make up the difference.

With embarrassing things like "Legal Rebels" and "see guys look we have supported solos all along". Any solo with half a brain in her head knows the ABA has little to offer and what little concessions they are making now will disappear as soon as the big firms take back off.

There are some good networking opportunities for big firm partners and people interested in affecting policy on a national level through our lobbying efforts but if you're not in one of those two categories, the grim reality is that the ABA hasn't cared much about you for a long time and is only pretending to now.

VVVV--- You'll be dropped automatically if you just ignore the bills. If you have any interest at all though there is a new pricing structure and it's pretty dirt cheap for your first year. I wish we offered more to keep people interested after their free year but it seems like state and local Bars do a much better job of that.

Defleshed fucked around with this message at 14:33 on Aug 31, 2010

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:27

Draile: May 6, 2004; forlorn llama

My free year with ABA is just about up. Do I need to call in to cancel my membership or can I just not pay any dues until ABA cancels for me?

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:29

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

Draile posted:

My free year with ABA is just about up. Do I need to call in to cancel my membership or can I just not pay any dues until ABA cancels for me?

Here's a lesson I learned as a puppy lawyer, delivered in the voice of my managing partner:

Pick up the loving phone and call them you pussy

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:36

Draile: May 6, 2004; forlorn llama

That's not what I mean. If I can continue my membership for free until they cancel for me, without any consequences for doing so, then I get more out of my membership than if I just cancel right now.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:43

echopapa: Jun 2, 2005; El Presidente smiles upon this thread.

I want to be the Externship Coordinator. I will call up solo firms and say, "Hey, need a gofer?"

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:47

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 07:04

CmdrSmirnoff: Oct 27, 2005; happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

JudicialRestraints posted:

Can I be Diversity Coordinator? I promise to start out normal and slowly ramp up the racism until it reaches the point where we are giving out the prestigious Uncle Tom Scholarship.

Bonus points if I can teach a class called "Admiralty Law, Discipline and the Triangle Trade"

Sorry dude, Diversity Coordinator is Izzy's job.

Can I teach a course titled Representation of Legal Structures in Time-Limited Global Planning Scenarios? We'll just play turn-based strategy games.

# ? Aug 31, 2010 14:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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