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Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
It's not disobeying orders, it's acting on your own initiative ;)

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PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

WarLocke posted:

Agreeing with the above. Worst-case scenario is that it's a Javelin or Hussar

Actually, worst-case scenario is that I'm lying about it being a light 'Mech.

Panic in 5, 4, 3...

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.
^ Stuff like that makes me even more paranoiac than usual, but will, without hesitation, be used as another reason not to Rambo the spider!

DatonKallandor
Aug 21, 2009

"I can no longer sit back and allow nationalist shitposting, nationalist indoctrination, nationalist subversion, and the German nationalist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious game balance."

PoptartsNinja posted:

Actually, worst-case scenario is that I'm lying about it being a light 'Mech.

Panic in 5, 4, 3...

It's a LAM isn't it?

WarLocke
Jun 6, 2004

You are being watched. :allears:

DatonKallandor posted:

It's a LAM isn't it?

Hell a LAM would be a GOOD thing, those things are under-gunned across the board since they waste weight on the conversion crap.

Arquinsiel
Jun 1, 2006

"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady
Even with the ER large the Hussar wouldn't be worth much. There's no damage boost from the regular large, just range and heat.

I really do have to wonder what difference the Hussar would have made even as a spotter, since it's movement mod would have totally thrown off the multi-turn trip of the shells.

Dropships are deceptively easy to take out. Take a look at the rules posted above and consider that they are immobile targets.

DatonKallandor
Aug 21, 2009

"I can no longer sit back and allow nationalist shitposting, nationalist indoctrination, nationalist subversion, and the German nationalist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious game balance."

WarLocke posted:

Hell a LAM would be a GOOD thing, those things are under-gunned across the board since they waste weight on the conversion crap.

PTN designed custom LAM, probably named Brutus as proof that LAMs can be useful. :colbert:

If not now, atleast at one point in the LP.

Serril
Dec 31, 2007

Mort Fun Time
I'd like to sign up as a mechwarrior, here's my email.

serril AT gmail DOT com

Tempest_56
Mar 14, 2009

Zaodai posted:

It still doesn't really make sense to me. I mean, I can get how you would make yourself a target, but not why they wouldn't have anything at all better than an assault lance to go hussar hunting with. They probably deserved to have their dropship destroyed.

Okay, perhaps then I need to tell the full tale.

This was several years ago (circa 1998-1999) in the strange world of the Battletech MUX. It's a strange adaptation, converting the board game relatively faithfully to a purely text-based, real-time simulation that operates through the same avenues that a MUD does. It's quirky and surprisingly difficult to play, but offered actual multiplayer campaign-level Battletech in an era before Megamek existed.

I was the recon commander of a LCG unit, who were locked in a battle versus a group of the Northwind Highlanders. We had just taken a critical firebase and had withdrawn back for repairs and recovery. Which is when we got radar contact on a Highanders dropship that was headed towards the contested firebase.

Now, one important quirk of the game is that everything is manned by a person. Tanks, mechs, dropships all need to be piloted by a living player. The sole exception was static base defense turrets, which worked on the principle of 'shoot anything you have a BTH10 or better on'. Since we'd pulled back our forces from the firebase (which lacked repair facilities), we didn't have anybody on-site except for the automated turrets. The problem is that it's possible to sit at extreme range and pot-shot the turrets at a distance the crude AI doesn't understand, or you can artillery them to death. The Highlanders were going to take the base we'd just gotten and put us at a severe disadvantage.

All we had to work with was a Lynx, a Hussar, an Assassin and a Long Tom. Everything else was either offline or too damaged to use. We had no chance, up until we realized that it was about 3 in-game hours (about 30 minutes) until dark. Then the Highlanders wouldn't be able to outrange the turrets and would be (at best) forced to blind-fire artillery and hope they hit. If they didn't take it then, we would be able to move forces up to the firebase the next day and hold it with real mechs.

So we charged out to face them, finding out when we arrived that it was an Overlord packing a half-dozen mechs and a mobile Thumper artillery piece. The Lynx and Assassin drew off the Highlander's strike screen (another Lynx and a Cicada, if I remember right), while my Hussar spotted for the Long Tom while running around and sniping at the mechs. The dropship didn't shoot back because the pilot was also in the field, at the controls of a mech.

I spent half an hour spotting for artillery, shredding their dropship while I was chased around by a lance of slow assaults. They couldn't just let me fire on the dropship, as with the Long Tom I would have eventually crippled/destroyed it. And with no repair facilities at the firebase, they would have to walk their mechs back to their main base, ~200 hexes (almost two real hours walk) away. As well as having lost a ~$300 million C-Bill dropship that they couldn't have replaced.

They did eventually take out my Hussar - Longbow landed an LRM shot that critted out my hip - but we nearly destroyed the dropship, took out their artillery tank and ammo-boomed a Victor in the process. And held until night, so they were forced to retreat rather than take the firebase.

So it was a rather specific scenario, yes. Had there been an actual pilot in the dropship, it might have gone differently, perhaps. But for the circumstance presented, the story is true - a Hussar held off an entire lance of assault mechs for around 30 turns.

(Toldja it was a bit of a longer story.)

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


I wasn't doubting the validity of your story, Tempest. Only the competence of the opposition.

I figured it was a situation where you making due with what you had, and I applaud you for your tactical acumen. But your opponents were still so retarded that it physically pains me to know they were real people. :saddowns:

Regarding the LP: I kinda hope it turns out to be a Tokugawa Heavy Tank or something. LBX-10 into the face of a light mech for the laughter factor.

Or that he's dug up an old Lynx out of nowhere and it's running around with a PPC, a large laser and 4 meds. That kind of firepower would pretty much be a match for the entire goon lance.

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I reread my favorite Battletech novel today; the final novel of the Warrior trilogy, the first thing Stackpole wrote. Not very good, but god drat it is fun.

Hanse Davion suiting up in a Battlemaster to beat off a "Death Commando" attack on his capital in person is so much :hellyeah: it is difficult to absorb. I am such a fanboy.

e: seriously the dude tore off a marauder's arm and beat the poo poo out of a half dozen mechs with it how can you not follow that kind of prince to hell :swoon:

Mukaikubo fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jan 25, 2011

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Zaodai posted:

Or that he's dug up an old Lynx out of nowhere and it's running around with a PPC, a large laser and 4 meds. That kind of firepower would pretty much be a match for the entire goon lance.

Even the reduced tech model, w/2xLL, 2xML would be pain.

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.
Clapping Larry
oh man robot jox, i remember that movie it was so bad and slow, but the animatronics were awesome for the time.

the sequel made years later wasn't as good :ohdear:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBAUacDVwJo

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


Mukaikubo posted:

Apropos of absolutely nothing, I reread my favorite Battletech novel today; the final novel of the Warrior trilogy, the first thing Stackpole wrote. Not very good, but god drat it is fun.

Hanse Davion suiting up in a Battlemaster to beat off a "Death Commando" attack on his capital in person is so much :hellyeah: it is difficult to absorb. I am such a fanboy.

e: seriously the dude tore off a marauder's arm and beat the poo poo out of a half dozen mechs with it how can you not follow that kind of prince to hell :swoon:

Eh, it really fails at conveying the universe compared to it's contemporaries. Read wolves on the border or the GDL novels instead.

The Warrior trilogy is fun if you are a Davion fan because it's three books of sloppy blowjob for your faction. Boring as gently caress if you like anyone else. It's like if I wrote a trilogy called "Caesar Steiner fights and screws his way across the Inner Sphere and never loses."

elitebuster
Dec 26, 2010

I know its super dooper kooper
cool like up the bitches snitches

Defiance Industries posted:

Eh, it really fails at conveying the universe compared to it's contemporaries. Read wolves on the border or the GDL novels instead.

The Warrior trilogy is fun if you are a Davion fan because it's three books of sloppy blowjob for your faction. Boring as gently caress if you like anyone else. It's like if I wrote a trilogy called "Caesar Steiner fights and screws his way across the Inner Sphere and never loses."

Really, what more do you need? I guess it just appeals to the kind of fan who likes "RAR GIANT ROBOT GUNFIGHT WITH LIMB BLUDGENS RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Like me for instance.

Shadow gamer
Jul 24, 2008

I PASSED UP A BARGAIN

Axe-man posted:

oh man robot jox, i remember that movie it was so bad and slow, but the animatronics were awesome for the time.

the sequel made years later wasn't as good :ohdear:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBAUacDVwJo

Well... I have a new bad movie to watch. Also, Robot Jox was rad.

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

Defiance Industries posted:

Eh, it really fails at conveying the universe compared to it's contemporaries. Read wolves on the border or the GDL novels instead.

The Warrior trilogy is fun if you are a Davion fan because it's three books of sloppy blowjob for your faction. Boring as gently caress if you like anyone else. It's like if I wrote a trilogy called "Caesar Steiner fights and screws his way across the Inner Sphere and never loses."

Have. Have read pretty much all of them. Still like Stackpole's books more than everything else, aside from a few quibbles about fights.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Wow, more lucky shooting. Someone rolled snake-eyes on their to-hit roll.

Edit: And a potential motive system hit.

Double edit: And boxcars. Dear lord, y'all are lucky. D:

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Jan 25, 2011

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

PoptartsNinja posted:

Wow, more lucky shooting. Someone rolled snake-eyes on their to-hit roll.

Edit: And a potential motive system hit.

Double edit: And boxcars. Dear lord, y'all are lucky. D:

We're burning all of our crits against hovercraft so that when it comes time to engage other mechs, it will be like the Phantom Mech x4. Nothing we do will hit.

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.
Clapping Larry

PoptartsNinja posted:

Wow, more lucky shooting. Someone rolled snake-eyes on their to-hit roll.

Edit: And a potential motive system hit.

Double edit: And boxcars. Dear lord, y'all are lucky. D:

well I have been known to cause such a thing :cool: gms hate me ;)

Mukaikubo posted:

We're burning all of our crits against hovercraft so that when it comes time to engage other mechs, it will be like the Phantom Mech x4. Nothing we do will hit.

can we just agree it was a null sig module and move on :ohdear:

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
An ammunition hit in the turret requires a roll of an 11 (1:18 chance). To score a chance for a critical without armor requires boxcars (1:36 chance). What are the odds of that happening two turns in a row?

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


Mukaikubo posted:

Have. Have read pretty much all of them. Still like Stackpole's books more than everything else, aside from a few quibbles about fights.


You are a Davvie or Wolf then, I take it?

AtlantisMantis
Feb 8, 2008

aut vincere aut mori

Axe-man posted:

oh man robot jox, i remember that movie it was so bad and slow, but the animatronics were awesome for the time.

the sequel made years later wasn't as good :ohdear:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBAUacDVwJo

As bad as the sequel was, it would be the one movie I always asked to rent when the family went to a rental place. The final battle between the scorpion mech and the bipedal one always left me in awe. (looking back though I can't tell why)

drat do I love that lovely movie.. :3:

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

Defiance Industries posted:

You are a Davvie or Wolf then, I take it?

:rolleye:

My favorite faction's probably Clan Nova Cat, actually. I love those nuts. And slapping the Cameron Star on their logo after the other clans abjured them, man, that is such a wonderful "No, gently caress YOU" to every other clanner alive. So fun. And if we're talking IS, probably the Taurian Concordat. I have a much bigger soft spot for the smaller powers than the hugenormous successor states. Hell, I was rooting for the Taurians to keep slowly expanding outwards and getting more and more powerful and eventually being recognized as the equal of some of the Successor States. :ohdear:

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

PoptartsNinja posted:

An ammunition hit in the turret requires a roll of an 11 (1:18 chance). To score a chance for a critical without armor requires boxcars (1:36 chance). What are the odds of that happening two turns in a row?

Approximately, as much as I have to laugh as I say this, one in a million.


(actually 2.38 in a million but that's not poetic enough)


edit: That would be if you only fired once per round.

Longinus00
Dec 29, 2005
Ur-Quan

PoptartsNinja posted:

An ammunition hit in the turret requires a roll of an 11 (1:18 chance). To score a chance for a critical without armor requires boxcars (1:36 chance). What are the odds of that happening two turns in a row?

2.3814967230605090687395214144185337600975461057765584... × 10^-6

Longinus00 fucked around with this message at 05:39 on Jan 25, 2011

Agent Interrobang
Mar 27, 2010

sugar & spice & psychoactive mushrooms

Mukaikubo posted:

:rolleye:

My favorite faction's probably Clan Nova Cat, actually. I love those nuts. And slapping the Cameron Star on their logo after the other clans abjured them, man, that is such a wonderful "No, gently caress YOU" to every other clanner alive. So fun. And if we're talking IS, probably the Taurian Concordat. I have a much bigger soft spot for the smaller powers than the hugenormous successor states. Hell, I was rooting for the Taurians to keep slowly expanding outwards and getting more and more powerful and eventually being recognized as the equal of some of the Successor States. :ohdear:

Nova Cat solidarity! You can be in my sibko... anytime. :cool::respek::cool:

Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Mukaikubo posted:

Approximately, as much as I have to laugh as I say this, one in a million.


(actually 2.38 in a million but that's not poetic enough)


edit: That would be if you only fired once per round.

That worrisome part is I left my head exposed for a maximum range shot from the spider :)

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

Agent Interrobang posted:

Nova Cat solidarity! You can be in my sibko... anytime. :cool::respek::cool:

I just spent several minutes trying to think of how to combine "Bullshit" and "Neg" appropriately to put in front of "You can be in mine."

(note: Changing "You can be mine" to "You can be in mine" is possibly the only way to make that line crackle with more sexual tension.)

Agent Interrobang
Mar 27, 2010

sugar & spice & psychoactive mushrooms

Mukaikubo posted:

I just spent several minutes trying to think of how to combine "Bullshit" and "Neg" appropriately to put in front of "You can be in mine."

(note: Changing "You can be mine" to "You can be in mine" is possibly the only way to make that line crackle with more sexual tension.)

I'm surprised we're not making out already. We both love the Nova Cats, and we both think Hanse Davion could kick EVERYONE'S rear end FOREVER. Is there a BETTER basis for a relationship than Davions being awesome?

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.
Clapping Larry

Agent Interrobang posted:

I'm surprised we're not making out already. We both love the Nova Cats, and we both think Hanse Davion could kick EVERYONE'S rear end FOREVER. Is there a BETTER basis for a relationship than Davions being awesome?

Both dueling it out like clanners and then firing up the old test tube under the romantic light of laser fire overhead :colbert:

AtlantisMantis
Feb 8, 2008

aut vincere aut mori

Axe-man posted:

Both dueling it out like clanners and then firing up the old test tube under the romantic light of laser fire overhead :colbert:

Ah, the infamous Trial of Bow-chicka-bow-wow

Agent Interrobang
Mar 27, 2010

sugar & spice & psychoactive mushrooms

AtlantisMantis posted:

Ah, the infamous Trial of Bow-chicka-bow-wow

I like to imagine Clan marriage ceremonies are basically just Claw-Plach from Futurama.

WarLocke
Jun 6, 2004

You are being watched. :allears:

Defiance Industries posted:

Eh, it really fails at conveying the universe compared to it's contemporaries. Read wolves on the border or the GDL novels instead.

See those books in particular I didn't like as much as the later ones. There's a very clear shift in tone between the GDL books (and other early ones like WotB) and basically everythning post-Blood of Kerensky. And I guess I prefer the machiavellian politics and yes, even the mary sues more than the stark 'water is life' stuff from the very early ones.

And let's just not mention Far Country, okay? :gonk:

Mukaikubo posted:

Have. Have read pretty much all of them. Still like Stackpole's books more than everything else, aside from a few quibbles about fights.

Agreed with this. Stackpole is my fave of the BT authors. Never did like Coleman much, Victor Milan is an acquired taste but Camacho's Caballeros are awesome so I deal with it. :3:

Defiance Industries posted:

You are a Davvie or Wolf then, I take it?

I'm a firm Davion Loyalist. Always will be. :colbert:

Favorite Clan would probably be Jade Falcon, mostly because they talk the honor poo poo but are drat quick to fight dirty. They're probably the 'worst' (don' really want to say 'evil') of the canon invading clans that way.

KnoxZone
Jan 27, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.

PoptartsNinja posted:

Wow, more lucky shooting. Someone rolled snake-eyes on their to-hit roll.

Edit: And a potential motive system hit.

Double edit: And boxcars. Dear lord, y'all are lucky. D:

I am a firm believer that what comes around goes around. Getting amazing luck on some crappy hover tanks is going to be less awesome when that Spider takes down half our lance with lucky shots.

Dominus Caedis
Sep 17, 2007
Stupid Noob
My favorite faction is the Marian Hegemony, they're Periphery so automatically less well known but modeled after the ancient Roman Empire. And their leader in the 3060s is Ceaser Julius O'Reilly who murdered his father Ceaser Sean O'Reilly to ascend the throne, seriously how can you not love a guy named Julius O'Reilly?

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.
Clapping Larry
My favorite game i ever played was a cloak and dagger "Free Rasalhague Republic" campiagn were started as a militia in a small world and ended as lyran defectors after we had to surrender to the 4 atlas mechs, fighting the clans.

Trast
Oct 20, 2010

Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

:edi:

PoptartsNinja posted:

Actually, worst-case scenario is that I'm lying about it being a light 'Mech.

Panic in 5, 4, 3...

PTN sits at his desk, fingers tented. A white cat suitable for a Bond supervillian rests in his lap. Before him is a battle map and a list of surprises most devious.

cookieman
Jan 19, 2009
But he won't use any until he's lulled us into a false sense of security.

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PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

cookieman posted:

But he won't use any until he's lulled us into a false sense of security.

You hope.

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