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Omerta
Feb 19, 2007

I thought short arms were good for benching :smith:

nm posted:

No kidding.
Law texts should be: "Look up these cases on westlaw, on and you can skip pp. X-Y."
If law textbooks actually explained something (like say, hornbooks), that would be different, but they're just case after case after case.

My torts professor helped write/edit the Prosser/Wade torts book and it's the only really helpful textbook I've come across. Maybe because torts lends itself to the particular strategy they used, but it was really useful.

All the concepts had like 1-3 principal cases that were like 1.5-2 pages then 5 pages of 1 sentence case summaries of different iterations of the same issue grouped by the general situation that it occurred in: parent/gov't agency/employer and so on.

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Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

TheMadMilkman posted:

My CivPro processor decided that all textbooks were terrible, so he "created" his own, which was a binder full if cases that he personally edited. It was the epitome of worthlessness.
Did we have the same Civ Pro professor? :pwn:

WhiskeyJuvenile
Feb 15, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Do I apply for a detail position at the Department of Commerce?

pros: looks good on a resume

cons: would have to wear pants, wake up in the morning, possibly lose overtime

entris
Oct 22, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

Do I apply for a detail position at the Department of Commerce?

pros: looks good on a resume

cons: would have to wear pants, wake up in the morning, possibly lose overtime

Don't you have a good job at the PTO already?

Also, isn't there going to be a hiring freeze in government? It hardly seems like a good time to bounce around between jobs.

edit: I don't know what "detail position" means, it's possible that this is a key detail.

srsly
Aug 1, 2003

If you're gonna be the worst rapper ever, don't link it to your professional career as a fledgling solo attorney.

This is so awful. I went to school with this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZoI7g99i5E

Dunning-Kruger in FULL effect. And yeah, I'm sure he seriously meant and thinks it to be good. (Thinks he coulda been a pro with the right break). The sad thing is he's losing out on "normal" folks who want a lawyer by tossing around motherfucker and human being like candy off a parade float. And he's losing out on his target audience by sucking balls.

srsly fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Jan 26, 2011

GamingOdor
Jun 8, 2001
The stench of chips.
I am being interviewed for a non-legal USCIS job at GS 5-GS 7 ($27k-$33k). I will cry if I don't get hired.

Defleshed
Nov 18, 2004

F is for... FREEDOM

blar posted:

I am being interviewed for a non-legal USCIS job at GS 5-GS 7 ($27k-$33k). I will cry if I don't get hired.

You know the Tea Partiers want to cut that insane salary right? And rightfully so goddamned government bureaucrats getting lazy and fat on that sweeet sweet 27k per year

HiddenReplaced
Apr 21, 2007

Yeah...
it's wanking time.

Defleshed posted:

You know the Tea Partiers want to cut that insane salary right? And rightfully so goddamned government bureaucrats getting lazy and fat on that sweeet sweet 27k per year

A 4th year attorney with the Federal Government makes 105k, "works" 40 hours a week, and gets a month of paid leave (which they actually use).

shirts and skins
Jun 25, 2007

Good morning!

HiddenReplaced posted:

A 4th year attorney with the Federal Government makes 105k, "works" 40 hours a week, and gets a month of paid leave (which they actually use).

Jesus Christ that would be the life

TheMadMilkman
Dec 10, 2007

MechaFrogzilla posted:

Jesus Christ that would be the life

It should be the norm, not the exception.

Defleshed
Nov 18, 2004

F is for... FREEDOM

HiddenReplaced posted:

A 4th year attorney with the Federal Government makes 105k, "works" 40 hours a week, and gets a month of paid leave (which they actually use).

Large non-profit or association work is pretty awesome too. I've been at my place for 4 years. I get a 40 hour "work" (posting on SA) week, 3 weeks of vacation, tons of paid holidays, and travel to somewhat awesome places 3-4 times a year. (Palm Beach this weekend wooooo). I don't make 105k but I make a good living and can support my family in a semi-middle class fashion thanks to IBR.

I just wish I hadn't decided to throw away all that money to get a law degree then I could remove the "thanks to IBR' from the previous sentence. :smith:

Of course then I wouldn't get to do awesome Army man stuff from the relatively safe position of being a JAG either :unsmith:

remote control carnivore
May 7, 2009

Green Crayons posted:

How much does this type of representation cost, in all? $200? $500? It seems like a pretty straightforward procedure/issue set for these guys.

My boss charges simple traffic and muni infractions at $300 flat. And yes, they pay.

WhiskeyJuvenile
Feb 15, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo

entris posted:

Don't you have a good job at the PTO already?

Also, isn't there going to be a hiring freeze in government? It hardly seems like a good time to bounce around between jobs.

edit: I don't know what "detail position" means, it's possible that this is a key detail.

detail = temporary assignment, after which you go back to your regular job

billion dollar bitch
Jul 20, 2005

To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.
I don't think there's a strong argument against diversifying your work experience/resume, within reason.

entris
Oct 22, 2008

by Y Kant Ozma Post

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

detail = temporary assignment, after which you go back to your regular job

I guess if you are in no danger of losing your current job, then you should apply?

prussian advisor
Jan 15, 2007

The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, its going to roll over my dead body.

Defleshed posted:

Large non-profit or association work is pretty awesome too. I've been at my place for 4 years. I get a 40 hour "work" (posting on SA) week, 3 weeks of vacation, tons of paid holidays, and travel to somewhat awesome places 3-4 times a year. (Palm Beach this weekend wooooo). I don't make 105k but I make a good living and can support my family in a semi-middle class fashion thanks to IBR.

I just wish I hadn't decided to throw away all that money to get a law degree then I could remove the "thanks to IBR' from the previous sentence. :smith:

Of course then I wouldn't get to do awesome Army man stuff from the relatively safe position of being a JAG either :unsmith:

So when do you ship out, man? Also what kind of formal classroom training do you get from the Army as a JAG before they start you actually practicing?

Defleshed
Nov 18, 2004

F is for... FREEDOM

prussian advisor posted:

So when do you ship out, man? Also what kind of formal classroom training do you get from the Army as a JAG before they start you actually practicing?

I am going to JAOBC with the 185th which starts in July. For now I am staying Reserve since my civilian job suddenly started to own a few months ago, but I might change my mind while I'm down there and go onto active duty. We'll see. I like the other dudes in my Reserve unit and am starting to feel comfortable with them and the idea of being a Reservist so who knows.

You get tons of formal training on being an Army Lawyer. The first phase is at Fort Lee, VA and is only a few days to get you set up with uniforms (if you don't already have them because you're a Reservist or a green-to-gold guy or something), indoctrinate you a bit into military customs and courtesies, introduce you to Army culture, etc.

Then you go to Charlottesville to the Army Law School which is about 9 weeks. There you learn UCMJ, Federal Practice, Admin Law and all the otehr poo poo you need to be familiar with to be a JAG.

Final phase is in Fort Benning, GA where you do all the Army man poo poo (although they take it much easier on you than Joe Private who enlists and goes to boot camp) like land navigation and range firing and all that stuff.

Overall the whole deal takes about 4 1/2 months. My boss is a little pissed but even better is he can't do poo poo about it! Woo!

Lilosh
Jul 13, 2001
I'm Lilosh with an OSHY
Our school does Civ Pro as a two-semester course with two different professors.

The first semester, I had a good grasp and did pretty well.
Two days into the second semester, I'm pretty sure I have no idea what's going on.

:smith:

Ersatz
Sep 17, 2005

Kaiser Bill posted:

I'm forced to take a law class for my non-law grad program (Urban Planning). I'm not happy about it at all. I came into it knowing nothing about this whole law school trip and caring less. The book is nigh-unreadable. Sure, I can read the actual words, but they're almost impossible to put together into any kind of meaning, and I find myself spacing out after half a page. So help me out here, and I apologize if this has been long covered. Is there a very comprehensive online law case database with tons and tons of cases, so I can search for a case and get a fairly concise summary, rather than read page after page of jargon? Or at least, so I go back and read the jargonish details with some kind of idea about what the whole mess is supposed to be about. Thanks!

Casebooks are terrible, but a hornbook could help. Try looking into these:

Property Examples & Explanations
Real Property in a Nutshell
The Law of Property (Hornbook)

If your class isn't property there are equivalent books out there for the various first year subjects.

Bro Enlai
Nov 9, 2008

Speaking of hornbooks, what's a good one for Corporations with the Klein book?

billion dollar bitch
Jul 20, 2005

To drink and fight.
To fuck all night.
Tonight, I failed to convince an undergrad that she shouldn't go to law school. What do you say to, "I majored in Creative Writing; what am I supposed to do?"

MoFauxHawk
Jan 1, 2007

Mickey Mouse copyright
Walt Gisnep

billion dollar bitch posted:

Tonight, I failed to convince an undergrad that she shouldn't go to law school. What do you say to, "I majored in Creative Writing; what am I supposed to do?"

"Look for a job in one of the many fields that just require a generic bachelor's degree like lots of other humanities and social science majors do."

Mr. Chupon
Nov 4, 2006

Wait, am I doing this right?

Petey posted:

In terms of generalizing across alma maters, MIT grads are probably comparatively better off when applying to law school than grads of most schools. They'll get in to better programs both because of their actual intelligence and the brand, and they have the science background for stuff like patent law coming out.

That said, it still pisses me off that a) as someone identified, these MIT graduates went to law school ages ago...

Can you elaborate a bit on your gripe with current day MIT grads applying for law school? Or is it more with the faculty pushing them to do so for the wrong reasons?

I'm in a similar situation (though not nearly as prestigious of undergrad) and have been considering law school for a while. The OP and thread haven't managed to dissuade me yet but maybe you can help. I have a 3.5 undergrad GPA, not sure how well I could do on the LSAT but I would definitely follow the study guide in the OP. Graduate degree in (also in engineering), several years work experience, several years living abroad (if these count for anything in admissions).

Petey posted:

kids with MIT educations are looking at law school rather than actually using their world-class engineering/science degrees to make the world a better place (the same can be said for MIT grads who become day traders).

Isn't there something to be said for helping entrepreneurs get in a position to make some money for their efforts? Most engineering jobs (except maybe for PhD's) are in systems, testing, support, etc. In some ways it seems like patent law would have you closer to working with the real innovators. Maybe I'm just naive and have a distorted view of how it really works?

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Mr. Chupon posted:

Can you elaborate a bit on your gripe with current day MIT grads applying for law school? Or is it more with the faculty pushing them to do so for the wrong reasons?


Well, there are two things:

1) The fact that the law market remains lovely for any and everyone, no matter what undergrad you went to

2) The fact that, as other people in this thread will say, a lot of being a lawyer is just fundamentally tedious document review and not at all like anything exciting you'll see on TV etc, and that someone with an MIT education in engineering, however unglamorous engineering can be, is still going to be able to do more interesting things and contribute more to the world than just another person inspecting patent applications (this is a personal shot to WJ)

quote:


I'm in a similar situation (though not nearly as prestigious of undergrad) and have been considering law school for a while. The OP and thread haven't managed to dissuade me yet but maybe you can help. I have a 3.5 undergrad GPA, not sure how well I could do on the LSAT but I would definitely follow the study guide in the OP. Graduate degree in (also in engineering), several years work experience, several years living abroad (if these count for anything in admissions).


For you, LSAT and GPA are basically all that matter. All things considered, the other things might push a bit. But only against, say, a hypothetical perfectly equivalent candidate in all other respects.

quote:


Isn't there something to be said for helping entrepreneurs get in a position to make some money for their efforts? Most engineering jobs (except maybe for PhD's) are in systems, testing, support, etc. In some ways it seems like patent law would have you closer to working with the real innovators. Maybe I'm just naive and have a distorted view of how it really works?

I think you are. Ask Baruch Obamawitz about how much he, as a patent examiner, actually helps / is closer to real innovators.

The only patent lawyer I know who is doing really exciting work with new innovators right now is Jon Dudas, the former head of the patent office, and that's because he's the current president of FIRST Robotics.

I mean, a lawyer should really be weighing in on these things. And for you, maybe a patent job would be an easy way to make a six figure salary (patent examiner jobs, if you can land them, are ridiculously cushy).

But in terms of innovation, being part of design, creativity, that sort of thing - my instinct is you're going to be way, way closer to that in industry (albeit maybe at a different job than you have currently) than in or after law school.

WhiskeyJuvenile
Feb 15, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Well, truth be told, every once in a while I get something "interesting" across my desk that I treat like a learning opportunity.

I get to learn about XPath, CDMA, a bunch of poo poo I wouldn't otherwise learn.

So pretty much the job entails getting sucked into Wikipedia for about two hours a day.

I've been here three years, and I've seen a total of one application that's like "oh, that's a great idea and it's really clever and innovative." I think it was either Google or IBM, I can't remember.

But with respect to helping entrepreneurs, I can just say that if I had to guess, the majority of the patents I've issued have gone to a big corporation.

edit: In my defense, I did computer science, so it's not like I can actually contribute to the world as an engineer :)

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?
So remember this email?

quote:

Why MIT Students Should Go to Law School

MIT is renowned for its education in science and engineering - but this does not mean you should limit your life plans to a becoming a scientist or engineer. Some of the most intellectually challenging and socially significant dimensions of science and engineering are encountered in legal careers. This session is designed to introduce MIT undergraduates to three lawyers whose practices involve different aspects of science and engineering, ranging from broadband policy to patent law to research university issues. The three lawyer-guests will describe their practices in order to give an overview of the various possibilities for legal careers that MIT students should consider. They will also respond to questions from the floor in an open discussion. Students will discover how to apply their MIT skills to a career choice they may not have been considering.

Panelists:
Stuart Brotman
Katherine Franco
Mike Jung


And we figured out that Brotman and Jung graduated in the 70s, and Franco was the only one who had gone to law school in the last decade?

Well, I sent an email to the organizers, asking if anyone would be there to offer a cautionary perspective given the recent crash of the legal market, and saying that "should go to law school" is an awfully strong claim to make in this environment, and this was the response I got:

quote:

We chose a strong title to catch people’s attention, and so I am happy to see that it caught yours. We assume the discussion will address the implicit alternative: should not. As we have all noticed, MIT students enjoy challenging the declarations of others.

The purpose of the session is to point out a range of opportunities in the legal area that undergraduates may not have considered before. It is true that the overall legal market is dismal—but then the market for all professions is lean and mean these days, including those for scientists and engineers.

The point of the session is to encourage students to think of ways in which a technically and scientifically robust MIT education might be combined with other education and experience to provide career opportunities that will serve them and society well.

We notified the Careers Office about this event and welcomed their staff to add their perspective. Furthermore, one of the participants, Kathy Franco, recently lost her job with a patent law firm in Houston. She is optimistic about finding another position, but in the meantime she is out of work. We have encouraged her to discuss this situation and its implications for MIT undergraduates considering a legal career.


lol

so I guess they will get the "no jobs" perspective

Petey fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Jan 27, 2011

Defleshed
Nov 18, 2004

F is for... FREEDOM
petey you're such a busybody

Chakron
Mar 11, 2009

Lawyerin': Lean and Mean

atlas of bugs
Aug 19, 2003

BOOTSTRAPPING
MILLIONAIRE
ONE-PERCENTER

Chakron posted:

Lawyerin': Lean and Mean

i went to law school and now i am literally lean and mean

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Defleshed posted:

petey you're such a busybody

No see I have the perspective of someone who somehow didn't get hit by a car so I'm trying to keep other people from stepping out into traffic.

Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX
This is not legal advice so I'll ask in this thread but are there any other really funny judgements like this that I can find online?

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html

Some choice lines:

quote:

In the midst of this social stew perhaps it is not surprising that Larry and Catherine are having problems, serious problems, regarding the custody of, and access to, their children. The source of the difficulties is hatred: a hardened, harmful, high-octane hatred.[2] Larry and Catherine hate each other, as do Larry and Sam. This hatred has raged unabated since the date of separation. Consequently, the likelihood of an amicable resolution is laughable (hatred devours reason); and, a satisfactory legal solution is impossible (hatred has no legal remedy).

(footnotes)
[2] At one point in the trial, I asked Catherine: “If you could push a button and make Larry disappear from the face of the earth, would you push it?” Her I-just-won-a-lottery smile implied the answer that I expected.

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Zo posted:

This is not legal advice so I'll ask in this thread but are there any other really funny judgements like this that I can find online?

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html

Some choice lines:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kozinski#Notable_cases

mongeese
Mar 30, 2003

If you think in fractals...

Mr. Chupon posted:

Isn't there something to be said for helping entrepreneurs get in a position to make some money for their efforts? Most engineering jobs (except maybe for PhD's) are in systems, testing, support, etc. In some ways it seems like patent law would have you closer to working with the real innovators. Maybe I'm just naive and have a distorted view of how it really works?

I'd say that the idea of working on patents sounds interesting, but the reality is that the actual work of procuring a patent is very boring and the 'invention' that you work on isn't exactly very cutting edge, at least if you have a strong technical background and aren't delusional.

Also, your clients are generally billion dollar tech companies, so you're just talking to some random engineer. Some of these guys barely even want anything to do with a lawyer. Of course, you can also work with a start up or solo entrepreneur and that tends to be a little different, but usually not as lucrative. But regardless, as a newer attorney, you're not going to work very closely with the 'real innovators' - you're basically going to be doing paperwork.

mongeese fucked around with this message at 19:39 on Jan 27, 2011

BigHead
Jul 25, 2003
Huh?


Nap Ghost

Zo posted:

This is not legal advice so I'll ask in this thread but are there any other really funny judgements like this that I can find online?

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html

Some choice lines:

Yes. Here:

http://www.lawlawlandblog.com/2010/12/our_holiday_gift_to_you_possib.html

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

oh my god

http://mithras.blogs.com/blog/bradshaw.pdf

quote:

SUMMARY

Seaman brought action against dock owner for personal injuries sustained while working aboard vessel using the dock. Upon dock owner's motion for summary judgment, the District Court, Kent, J., held that since maritime law did not impose a duty on the dock owner to provide a means of safe ingress or egress to crew member of a vessel using the dock, Texas' two-year statute of limitations for personal injury cases, rather than three-year federal statute for maritime personal injuries, applied to crew member's action against dock owner for failure to provide a means of safe ingress or egress to crew member of a vessel using the dock.

DISCUSSION

...

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.

...

Defendant begins the descent into Alice's Wonderland by submitting a Motion that relies upon only one legal authority. The Motion cites a Fifth Circuit case which stands for the whopping proposition that a federal court sitting in Texas applies the Texas statutes of limitations to certain state and federal law claims. See Gonzales v. Wyatt, 157 F.3d 1016, 1021 n. 1 (5th Cir.1998). That is all well and good--the Court is quite fond of the Erie doctrine; indeed there is talk of little else around both the Canal and this Court's water cooler. Defendant, however, does not even cite to Erie, but to a mere successor case, and further fails to even begin to analyze why the Court should approach the shores of Erie. Finally, Defendant does not even provide a cite to its desired Texas limitation statute. [FN2] A more bumbling approach is difficult to conceive--but wait folks, There's More!

Plaintiff responds to this deft, yet minimalist analytical wizardry with an equally gossamer wisp of an argument, although Plaintiff does at least cite the federal limitations provision applicable to maritime tort claims. See 46 U.S.C. § 763a. Naturally, Plaintiff also neglects to provide any analysis whatsoever of why his claim versus Defendant Phillips is a maritime action. Instead, Plaintiff "cites" to a single case from the Fourth Circuit. Plaintiff's citation, however, points to a nonexistent Volume "1886" of the Federal Reporter *671 Third Edition and neglects to provide a pinpoint citation for what, after being located, turned out to be a forty-page of the decision.

Ultimately, to the Court's dismay after reviewing the opinion, it stands simply for the bombshell proposition that torts committed on navigable waters (in this case an alleged defamation committed by the controversial G. Gordon Liddy aboard a cruise ship at sea) require the application of general maritime rather than state tort law. See Wells v. Liddy, 186 F.3d 505, 524 (4th Cir.1999) (What the ...)?! The Court cannot even begin to comprehend why this case was selected for reference. It is almost as if Plaintiff's counsel chose the opinion by throwing long range darts at the Federal Reporter (remarkably enough hitting a nonexistent volume!). And though the Court often gives great heed to dicta from courts as far flung as those of Manitoba, it finds this case unpersuasive.

There is nothing in Plaintiff's cited case about ingress or egress between a vessel and a dock, although counsel must have been thinking that Mr. Liddy must have had both ingress and egress from the cruise ship at some docking facility, before uttering his fateful words.

...

Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff's supplemental submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice of crayon--Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff's briefing.

But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.

...

II. CONCLUSION

After this remarkably long walk on a short legal pier, having received no useful guidance whatever from either party, the Court has endeavored, primarily based upon its affection for both counsel, but also out of its own sense of morbid curiosity, to resolve what it perceived to be the legal issue presented.

Despite the waste of perfectly good crayon seen in bothparties' briefing (and the inexplicable odor of wet dog emanating from such) the Court believes it has satisfactorily resolved this matter. Defendant's Motion for Summary Judgment is GRANTED.

At this juncture, Plaintiff retains, albeit seemingly to his befuddlement and/or consternation, a maritime law cause of action versus his alleged Jones Act employer, Defendant Unity Marine Corporation, Inc. However, it is well known around these parts that Unity Marine's lawyer is equally likable and has been writing crisply in ink since the second grade.

Some old-timers even spin yarns of an ability to type. The Court cannot speak to the veracity of such loose talk, but out of caution, the Court suggests that Plaintiff's lovable counsel had best upgrade to a nice shiny No. 2 pencil or at least sharpen what's left of the stubs of his crayons for what remains of this heart- stopping, spine-tingling action.

In either case, the Court cautions Plaintiff's counsel not to run with a sharpened writing utensil in hand--he could put his eye out.

Petey fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Jan 27, 2011

CmdrSmirnoff
Oct 27, 2005
happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

Zo posted:

This is not legal advice so I'll ask in this thread but are there any other really funny judgements like this that I can find online?

http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html

Some choice lines:

http://lib.law.washington.edu/ref/judhumor.html

Counsel having had his say,
Anders, California
Would seem to say: “New trial, no way.”
Forthright counsel I commend
For bringing this appeal to end.

He has served his client well:
A worthless issue would not sell.
Dropping his quixotic quest
Serves his client's interests best.

To press a cause of rank frivolity
Would not fill this court with jollity.
Though counsel was a courtroom terror,
He could not seed the case with error;

So nothing now could be much grander
Than witnessing his posttrial candor.
Lawyers tend to look facetious,
Pressing issues merely specious.

Frank candor sure beats false bravado,
Defending Claudio Rosado.
This is how I see the moral:
Instead of never-ending quarrel,
A broken record, crying “foul”,
It's sometimes best to throw the towel.

Thus, before the bar of court
This defendant must report.
He shall have to do his time,
For punishment must fit the crime.
And that will have to end this rhyme.

G-Mawwwwwww
Jan 31, 2003

My LPth are Hot Garbage
Biscuit Hider

That judge is in jail now!

Kent was legendary for being a GIGANTIC rear end in a top hat and surprise, he was one of the few federal judges ever impeached.

G-Mawwwwwww fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Jan 27, 2011

Neko Sou
Jan 24, 2006
Scarved Wonder
Do any of you guys have any experience with The Innocence Project? http://www.innocenceproject.org/?gclid=CPTk-cCa26YCFUdrKgodDRdO2A I already have an externship in federal district court this summer but I'd really like to do this too. But they need you to work full-time in the summer and part-time during fall semester. It seems like a good learning opportunity and it pays $2,500 (which is better than free). I feel like learning from a judge and the networking/letter of recommendation I'm going to get from the externship this summer will be more helpful but I don't know if I should try to do this at the same time somehow or maybe next summer if I can't find a firm job.

Mr. Chupon
Nov 4, 2006

Wait, am I doing this right?

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

Well, truth be told, every once in a while I get something "interesting" across my desk that I treat like a learning opportunity.

I get to learn about XPath, CDMA, a bunch of poo poo I wouldn't otherwise learn.

So pretty much the job entails getting sucked into Wikipedia for about two hours a day.

This is something I totally loved about my job as a support engineer. When something new popped up and it was off to Wikipedia, textbooks and white papers.

Baruch Obamawitz posted:


I've been here three years, and I've seen a total of one application that's like "oh, that's a great idea and it's really clever and innovative." I think it was either Google or IBM, I can't remember.

But with respect to helping entrepreneurs, I can just say that if I had to guess, the majority of the patents I've issued have gone to a big corporation.

edit: In my defense, I did computer science, so it's not like I can actually contribute to the world as an engineer :)

Do you find most patents that you work on interesting? Or is it a grind to get them issued?

rsvandy posted:

I'd say that the idea of working on patents sounds interesting, but the reality is that the actual work of procuring a patent is very boring and the 'invention' that you work on isn't exactly very cutting edge, at least if you have a strong technical background and aren't delusional.

Also, your clients are generally billion dollar tech companies, so you're just talking to some random engineer. Some of these guys barely even want anything to do with a lawyer. Of course, you can also work with a start up or solo entrepreneur and that tends to be a little different, but usually not as lucrative. But regardless, as a newer attorney, you're not going to work very closely with the 'real innovators' - you're basically going to be doing paperwork.

I hadn't considered the possibility that they might look at the patent attorney as an annoyance. Is this common? There are plenty of egos in R&D but it seems like a lot of those guys liked to talk about and share their work too.

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Feces Starship
Nov 11, 2008

in the great green room
goodnight moon

Neko Sou posted:

Do any of you guys have any experience with The Innocence Project? http://www.innocenceproject.org/?gclid=CPTk-cCa26YCFUdrKgodDRdO2A I already have an externship in federal district court this summer but I'd really like to do this too. But they need you to work full-time in the summer and part-time during fall semester. It seems like a good learning opportunity and it pays $2,500 (which is better than free). I feel like learning from a judge and the networking/letter of recommendation I'm going to get from the externship this summer will be more helpful but I don't know if I should try to do this at the same time somehow or maybe next summer if I can't find a firm job.

I have a classmate who did it this summer. He's had vocational and volunteering history with related issues and causes and has a great personality. I don't know his academic standing but it's not amazing.

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