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UltraPenguinX posted:Let's play a game! One of these things is a valid opinion, while two others are examples of batshit lunacy. See if you can discern which ones are which! I'm gonna go with Iraq, since you didn't provide the answer and all three opinions are bullshit nonsense.
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Apr 5, 2011 17:56
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I'll take China. We can't all be wrong.  EDIT: Oh right, we can. 
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Apr 5, 2011 17:56
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El Boot posted:The White House, unfortunately, is a joke now anyway. He certainly couldn’t harm it in any way. Think Clintin started the nose dive. Being someone self-employed I appreciate someone who is not a lawyer or someone who has been handed their inheritance and therefore has no other ambition, but to run for an office. He understands how unfair the laws and taxes are for business owners. And he certainly understands how this health care will destroy free market. But, we all have reasons why we support one candidate over another. I simply wish he would just say what his relationship is with Jesus. Other than his failed marriages, he seems to have good morals and values. Think we’ve all had some, several! screw-ups…..? Haha, yes, Trump is a self-made man and did not have a super-rich daddy.
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Apr 5, 2011 18:01
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quote:I simply wish he would just say what his relationship is with Jesus. Other than his failed marriages, he seems to have good morals and values. Is Donald Trump having an affair with Jesus? 
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Apr 5, 2011 18:15
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Econosaurus posted:Oh my god. quote:George Washington did not have the power to free "his" slaves, since they belonged to his wife, whose family could have gone to court to stop the loss of "their" property. Washington and Jefferson also knew what we tend to forget, which that "freeing" a slave in his old age is in effect stealing his retirement pension. That's why Washington had to wait until Martha's death, and why he gave the slaves a choice to remain, if they chose to do so. 1) George Washington not only freed his own slaves in his will, but he provided financial endowments so that each of them could attain education, land ownership, or whatever else was necessary for them to support themselves. Okay, fine, this isn't common knowledge and you mostly learn about it by visiting Mount Vernon and hearing (very interesting) stories about slavery there from the guides. But: 2) Washington couldn't have waited for Martha's death because he died 3 years before she did. 
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Apr 5, 2011 19:51
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There's also the ridiculous argument that freeing a slave would detract from their "retirement pension." George Washington and TJ were great men and all but to say people should be held in involuntary servitude for the sake of their comfortable retirement is pretty disgusting.
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Apr 5, 2011 20:00
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Sock on a Fish posted:Haha, yes, Trump is a self-made man and did not have a super-rich daddy. I think that sentence is admitting that Trump wasn't self-made, and listing it as a good thing i.e. he doesn't care about money since he's already received his due. Yes, that's how far conservatives are willing to twist. If Trump were a liberal, there would be no end to the silver spoon rhetoric.
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Apr 5, 2011 22:18
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Pornographic Memory posted:There's also the ridiculous argument that freeing a slave would detract from their "retirement pension." George Washington and TJ were great men and all but to say people should be held in involuntary servitude for the sake of their comfortable retirement is pretty disgusting. No statements made on the accuracy of that argument, naturally.
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Apr 5, 2011 22:33
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Strudel Man posted:Ah, the argument was not that freeing a slave harms the master's pension, but the slave's. The implication being that an elderly slave would have minimal duties but still have food to eat and a place to sleep, while an elderly just-freedman would be in a bad state regarding those things. Exactly! See, slaves were much better off than to garment workers in England. These cartoons prove it!   THIS IS WHAT ANTI-ABOLITIONISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVED E: Grammar. Pththya-lyi fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Apr 5, 2011 |
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Apr 5, 2011 22:46
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Liberalism wouldn't have been so successful if it didn't reduce costs to outcompete slave owners, so they have a point. However, the correct conclusion to draw is not that we should retain enslavement, but that we should crush liberalism and institute socialism.
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Apr 5, 2011 23:44
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Pththya-lyi posted:Exactly! See, slaves were much better off than to garment workers in England. These cartoons prove it! To be fair though, wage slavery is a horrible thing.
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Apr 6, 2011 02:27
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The working conditions for slaves and laborers such as factory workers were both terrible but at least the foreman didn't have a whip.
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Apr 6, 2011 15:32
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Oasx posted:Is Donald Trump having an affair with Jesus? No, he sold him a cross, then backed out 3 days later. The Donald screwed another guy and left Jesus hanging.
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Apr 6, 2011 17:33
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Orange Devil posted:To be fair though, wage slavery is a horrible thing. There's a time and a place for making that argument and it's not right after "chattel slavery isn't that bad"
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Apr 6, 2011 17:53
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"Look at the casket, Child. This is the death of The United States of America. This was done in secret long ago. Clinton made a pact with the devil, himself, through blood agreement with Khruschev to go The Red Way. The death knoll tolls for The USA, My Child, and many will be involved in this secret--not only Russia but China, as well. All is not well in China. While China prepares for your death, she has a very large, black vulture on her own back. This vulture will help to devour her from within." "My Lord, what of the black and white ball?" "The ball within the casket is black and white, as the black and white issues, My Child, will help bury The USA. But, at the center of the black and white issues are not real black and white issues, but communism, being molded and fanned by Red China. Issues which may appear to be black and white issues are really communist issues being propelled by Red China." "My Lord, what of the brass knuckles and knee coverings?" "They show the hole in the makeup of Red China, My Child, which is Hong Kong. When Red China is not looking, Hong Kong will devour it. This is in the works. Red China shall not prevail as they wish, for internal strife shall be great." "My Lord, you have shown me the red headed woman. Tell me about her." "When the USA dies, she shall be very prominent. My Child, this is the Red Dragon of Communism. She is dressed in black, as she brings death. Her purse is large, as she will take from you all you have." "My Lord, who are these in black at this funeral?" "Look, My Child." "I see Bill Clinton. I see Margaret Thatcher. I see several from Germany. In fact three from Germany now take the casket and lift it. They throw it over a steep cliff. There are mountains all around, and these mountains are named The Swiss Alps. Then, these three dust off their hands, and the others applaud them. Even Bill Clinton applauds. He is walking back up the path with several of them, and they are chatting. He is talking to the king of Saudi Arabia. Someone comes by with a copy of The New York Times. On the front of the paper is written, ‘US sells out to Oil Rich Countries.’" "Clinton takes a copy of it and laughs. He says, ‘They will never know, will they?’ He sits there alone with the Saudi Arabian king. Night begins to fall and Clinton says, "Well, we must go. Something is beginning to bite me." He starts scratching all over. The crickets come out and start singing. The Saudi Arabian king stays on. Clinton pulls out a bottle of calamine lotion. He pulls his pants down and starts to rub this lotion on his legs. As he does huge sores appear on his legs. Each sore has an ugly black spider on it. Clinton is covered all over with these ugly black spiders. The king gasps as he sees the sores. He hops back, then turns and runs off." "Clinton watches the king leave. He begins to tear at these wounds, and blood pours from each wound. Then, each wound begins to speak. They are each speaking different things at the same time and I cannot understand a single word. My Lord, this is a mess! This itch, then the spiders, then the sores, then the voices, all saying different things." "My Child, look again, what do you see?" "I see atomic bombs going off everywhere all over The USA. But what does this have to do with Clinton and his sores?" "My Child, the itch comes from the conscience that he has sold his country for fame. This rash is red, as it is started by the red communist take-over. It will make him very uncomfortable. Then, My Child, this irritation will turn into deadly spiders, whose venom will destroy him. My Child, these spiders are the black military forces trained to take over The USA. You hear many voices speaking at once. These are from two sources: the many voices of foreign soldiers upon you, and the voices of innocent persons, he has murdered. These sores caused by atomic war, My Child, shall eventually kill him, and all who took blood covenants, as he has." "Why did all forsake him but The Arab, My Lord?" "My Child, as long as a single vehicle moves, you shall need oil. But, even The Arab shall forsake you. Does this show you your future state, My Child?" "I see it, My Lord. But, who are these others at this funeral?" "My Child, look! France is not there. England is there along with Russia, China, Mexico, and Switzerland. Canada is not there. Australia is not there. Belgium is there, along with Germany, who has three representatives. Peru and Columbia are there along with Panama. And, there are others. All in all you see 22. These are mostly countries, but there are three individual families represented. The Rothschilds of Germany are the most prominent. (Make not of the mention of these three families. You will see much about their evil.) These, My Child, have planned your demise for a very long time. It is no accident that Bill Clinton was in The Soviet Union as a war protester. His red connections run as deep as blood. He was hand-picked by Satan even before this life to do Satan’s work, as he is smooth and credible." Then I saw the Clint Eastwood look-a-like going through fields of rice patties in The Orient, giving away cigarettes to little children. They were smoking them, their eyes running with tears. These children grew up into adults, wearing black, and dying early of lung cancer. "Child, you have heard of the men in black, the clones in these black helicopters. These have been created of Lucifer in conjunction with Germany, primarily." "And also in conjunction with the USA?" "Yes, indeed but at this point, The USA has fallen." "So, Germany will use the clones to terrorize?" "They will use them to terrorize and to spy." "In what way?" "Child, they possess super-human abilities. They are part Luciferian--given to have abilities of mind reading, and mind altering, which you do not have." "So, these so-called aliens, or Luciferians, kidnapped women? Then, mated with them and created these clones, or the men in black which some have seen?" "‘Tis so." "And where are these mostly?" "Underground." "Are some in military bases?" "Yes, within mountains, deep within Germany. Also in your military installation currently within the desert." "So, these clones, or the so-called men in black will be unleashed in great numbers? How many are there?" "In excess of 200,000." "So, they will help round up Christians?" "‘Tis so."
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Apr 7, 2011 04:08
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Welp, that's it. Thread's over. Everyone can go home.
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Apr 7, 2011 04:45
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jojoinnit posted:Madness Please tell that's an actual email you got from someone.
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Apr 7, 2011 05:22
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What the hell? Clinton and Khrushchev and the Devil and.... What the hell? 
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Apr 7, 2011 05:44
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I think that one's been circulating for a long time, since there's no mention of Bush. I also vaguely recall seeing it at some point before in the thread. We may be looking at the granddaddy of crazy forwards.
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Apr 7, 2011 06:01
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We need details on that one. Amazing.
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Apr 7, 2011 07:06
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Kavak posted:I think that one's been circulating for a long time, since there's no mention of Bush. I also vaguely recall seeing it at some point before in the thread. We may be looking at the granddaddy of crazy forwards. The original site was here, dated 1997 The reason it may be familiar is the original text was an Awful Link of the Day almost 7 years ago
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Apr 7, 2011 07:13
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evilbastard posted:The original site was here, dated 1997 The footnote, if you're too lazy to read eight thousand words of crazy for some reason: WISDOM posted:My Dear Brothers and Sisters, since I wrote the above, I realized that I should insert here a very important bit of wisdom, which the Spirit of God imparted yesterday to a Dear Brother, Mark. To understand what our Father has shown him, read these very important words in Rev 13:18 HERE IS WISDOM. LET HIM THAT HATH UNDERSTANDING COUNT THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST: FOR IT IS THE NUMBER OF A MAN; AND HIS NUMBER IS SIX HUNDRED THREESCORE AND SIX. (666)
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Apr 7, 2011 13:15
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Well technically 6 + 7 + 5 but never mind that. Could always return with Ronald Wilson Reagan, the true 6+6+6  For content MY DAD posted:It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
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Apr 7, 2011 14:51
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I don't even get that one. If somebody owes someone 100 bucks, but is also owed 100 bucks by somebody else, then they aren't really in debt.
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Apr 7, 2011 15:09
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Thenipwax posted:I don't even get that one. If somebody owes someone 100 bucks, but is also owed 100 bucks by somebody else, then they aren't really in debt. Also, the sentence "no one earned anything" is wrong, because presumably all of those people did work which is why they are owed 100 dollars.
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Apr 7, 2011 15:45
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Ok, so the apocalypse is predetermined by God, correct. The being they put all of their faith in and believe to be infallible. If the end times do, indeed, start now... isn't it God's fault, not Obama's, that the world is going to end? Don't shoot the messenger people.
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Apr 7, 2011 16:00
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York_M_Chan posted:Ok, so the apocalypse is predetermined by God, correct. The being they put all of their faith in and believe to be infallible. If the end times do, indeed, start now... isn't it God's fault, not Obama's, that the world is going to end? Don't shoot the messenger people. They aren't saying Obama is CAUSING the apocalypse. They are saying he is a sign of it.
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Apr 7, 2011 17:16
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evilbastard posted:The original site was here, dated 1997 Edit: Oddly, the text quoted in the original website is slightly different. There's no mention of killing Christians at the end for example. I guess it was altered during it's rounds? jojoinnit fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Apr 7, 2011 |
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Apr 7, 2011 17:20
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I was just invited to this group: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/event.php?eid=208173649210797¬if_t=event_invite "Ensuring Pay for Our Military Act of 2011" This feels like some kind of bullshit. is Congress really not going to pay the military? I have no idea what this act is, but just based on the comments, it sounds like some kind of appeal to faux patriotism. The comments are also a GOLDMINE of REAL AMERICAN PATRIOTISM  quote:I hope everyone is happy with their vote for Obama. He really made some changes all right quote:Thanks to our corrupt goverment and crooked politicians our soldiers and american hero's have 1 more unnecessary problem on their shoulders in addition to "RETURNING HOME ALIVE and WELL!" quote:Let me get this straight; the government can spend billions to give illegal immigrants free food, housing, medical, schooling, etc...- to bail out failing companies because they cannot budget money properly -) take numerous "peace" trips to the middle east or other countries, wait and take family members -Yet they cannot pay the military that risk their lives to defend our freedom at home and across the waters? Our military don't get paid enough for what they do as it is. Those that have the power seem to forget who put them there and the promises they made to get there (which have never been kept). I think we should get rid of all in power and start fresh, with people who know how to run a business and profit it. red19fire fucked around with this message at 10:20 on Apr 8, 2011 |
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Apr 8, 2011 10:16
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That last one is just ignorant. They really think that the military is the only thing that won't get paid?
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Apr 8, 2011 11:28
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Grem posted:That last one is just ignorant. They really think that the military is the only thing that won't get paid? It's the only thing that matters which won't get paid. I honestly think a good way to troll people like this would be to refer to soldiers as "our heroic government employees".
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Apr 8, 2011 11:47
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My dad and his friend were emailing back and forth about teachers making 100k for 9 months of work, and how they were both in the "wrong business". Keep in mind that my dad is retired, and pulled in over 300k last year for working zero months, and his friend makes well over 100k a year as well. Neither of them are college educated either. Anyway, they seem to think that the few anomalous cases represent the whole. How do you get somebody to understand that a few cherry picked cases don't make an argument?!
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Apr 8, 2011 14:58
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Thenipwax posted:My dad and his friend were emailing back and forth about teachers making 100k for 9 months of work, and how they were both in the "wrong business". Keep in mind that my dad is retired, and pulled in over 300k last year for working zero months, and his friend makes well over 100k a year as well. Neither of them are college educated either. Relate it to something he understands based on hobbies or likes, something non-political (good luck with that in today's political landscape).
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Apr 8, 2011 15:48
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To be fair, I did convince him that capital gains taxes should be raised. He at first got all defensive and said "I benefit a great deal from that!" and said that if you taxed it like income, nobody would invest. I told him that was ridiculous, and he conceded that it was, and that it should be taxed just like regular income. Yay?
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Apr 8, 2011 16:05
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Republican cousin who is a history teacher who thinks because he has a Masters in "History" that he is automatically smarter than everyone in the family Here is a brain teaser for all you folks that know a thing or two about our government - name 10 differences between Obama and George W. Bush. And of course I don't want 10 things having to do with the obvious. I would like to hear differences between their style of running our government. Good luck. You'll all need it.  While you're at it. Tell me why this isn't a fact. I am willing to listen and learn if I am wrong.
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Apr 8, 2011 16:19
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Jenzar El posted:Republican cousin who is a history teacher who thinks because he has a Masters in "History" that he is automatically smarter than everyone in the family Obama looks better in blackface?
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Apr 8, 2011 16:47
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Jenzar El posted:
This applies especially with AIPAC. 2021 EDIT: Israel did 9/11. That part was removed from my prophetic (or "schizophrenic") revelations that you will find in the distant future (not Wikipedia). How? Ask Palestine. Starpluck fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Nov 24, 2021 |
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Apr 8, 2011 17:50
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In response to a well-meaning post urging congressmen to try going without their salaries before they think of cutting off wages from the men and women in the military I know this is asinine and want to call him out on it, but what should I say?
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Apr 8, 2011 18:46
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Giving a million dollars to every tax payer? That sounds like spreading the wealth socialism to me 
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Apr 8, 2011 19:03
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Defenestration posted:In response to a well-meaning post urging congressmen to try going without their salaries before they think of cutting off wages from the men and women in the military If we were to give 134,372,678 tax payers $1,000,000, we would have to pay $134,372,678,000,000. We're saving a lot of money that way. edit: Number based on this, citation is included inside: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080213184926AAnOeUH
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Apr 8, 2011 19:05
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