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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:Clumsy removing positive things from a review of Wolverine. Those were my thoughts on the matter, as well. For those of you who don't know, Clumsy is the one human being on the planet who liked the hell out of that film.
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Jun 8, 2011 15:55
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I'm glad someone else though Super 8 was pretty hollow and pandering. Not a completely terrible film but I was really bored about halfway through because I've seen every Spielberg movie ever and it felt like every beat was really easy to see coming. My dumb gay friends think it's the greatest movie ever, but they all though Inception was super high-brow,as well, so...
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Jun 14, 2011 16:42
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Vargo posted:For those of you who don't know, Clumsy is the one human being on the planet who liked the hell out of that film. Hey now I liked the hell out of that film. I still made fun of its goofiness, but I certainly liked and enjoyed it!
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Jun 15, 2011 14:26
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Even Garbage Day has backed me up on Wolverine. There's a revolution coming.
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Jun 15, 2011 14:59
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Even Garbage Day has backed me up on Wolverine. There's a revolution coming. A revolution of utter poo poo scripts, Hugh Jackman trying too hard, and helicopters exploding twice.
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Jun 15, 2011 18:44
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W. Austell posted:On Vargo's "Judy Moody" review: "What child in his right mind goes out of his way to spend more time around clowns?" Any child who lives in reality and not the world of teenager cliches. My response posted:Are you a clown? Wendy the Clown posted:Although I've considered going to clown school someday, I as yet have no vested interest in protecting the clown public image. I'm just saying my 2 cents because I've seen people toss out "kids sure are scared of clowns" a billion times for cheap laughs. We offended a wannabe clown.
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Jun 18, 2011 23:38
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Well done.
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Jun 18, 2011 23:41
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ProfessorClumsy posted:We offended a wannabe clown. "Although I've considered going to clown school someday," I want this posted on a 100 foot wide sign. or just a really fat guy to wear it on a t-shirt and walk around town.
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Jun 18, 2011 23:45
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In looking up the word 'shoehorn' to make sure they were using it right, I wound up on the Wikipedia page for shoehorns, which includes the following example: '"I shoehorned President Carter the other night", said the boy.' Just thought I'd share.
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Jun 18, 2011 23:57
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ProfessorClumsy posted:We offended a wannabe clown. I may have located a picture of our dear reader. 
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Jun 19, 2011 00:14
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As I posted on our Facebook page: Martin R Vargo Schneider would like to extend a sincere apology to any members of the Clown-American community he may have offended with last week's review. I realize now that it was insensitive of me to tarnish your reputation more than John Wayne Gacy, IT, and the Insane Clown Posse already have. Please continue your fine work in the art of cream pie and seltzer water-based comedy.
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Jun 19, 2011 10:07
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I was so excited for the Green Lantern movie when I first saw the trailers. Now I read the review and see this image: This image with his head almost appearing to float on top of a suit, with face a... strange cross between an angry face and a confused look. Now I'm not so sure about this anymore. (Also, this image makes me wonder if Green Lantern could somehow be incorporated into a Painkiller-clone, and I don't see their licensed video game doing this.)
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Jun 20, 2011 08:15
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I like Professor Clumsy's reviews because I tend to enjoy superhero movies, but sometimes I think about it later and realize something was missing or wrong, and he tells me why. I tend to turn off my brain for them because I just want to see how they bring the comics to live action, so it's kinda neat to understand why I should hate it 
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Jun 20, 2011 08:23
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Phoenixan posted:I was so excited for the Green Lantern movie when I first saw the trailers. Now I read the review and see this image: What's funny about this is that I didn't think Green Lantern was very good either, but I disagree with Clumsy on a lot of his points. He believes the film took itself too seriously and therefore the jokes were lost, whereas I feel the film was good when it was embracing its silliness for the most fart and the worst scenes where when it tried to be serious. For what it's worth, I'd say it's worth a rental if you're not the type who sees movies in theaters all the time. It's certainly not great, has terrible pacing problems and a stupid main villain in Parallax, but there are a lot of fun moments in it and it's not deserving of the absolute thrashing it's taking in reviews right now.
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Jun 20, 2011 08:26
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Vargo posted:t, whereas I feel the film was good when it was embracing its silliness for the most fart and the worst scenes where when it tried to be serious. Quotin this before you edit it out.
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Jun 20, 2011 08:41
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Nucular Carmul posted:Quotin this before you edit it out. Well, now I just can't.
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Jun 20, 2011 09:16
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Vargo posted:the film was good when it was embracing its silliness for the most fart those letters aren't even close together  also 'mr. poppers' was clearly the most fart movie this week; edited the intro to alert readers to this fact, stopped short of making a "most fart movie of the week" graphic.
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Jun 20, 2011 18:20
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Garbage Day posted:those letters aren't even close together I think that can be arranged for future columns, though. Paging BigBudgetSequel to the Current Releases office. BigBudgetSequel to the office.
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Jun 20, 2011 22:57
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Isn't Marmaduke the most fart movie of the year?
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Jun 20, 2011 22:58
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The farts in Marmaduke are sooo 2010.
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Jun 21, 2011 00:11
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Phoenixan posted:I was so excited for the Green Lantern movie when I first saw the trailers. Now I read the review and see this image: What really interested me about the Green Lantern review is that its criticisms about the movie are the same as my criticisms about the current comics.
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Jun 21, 2011 01:22
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Jay Dub posted:Paging BigBudgetSequel to the Current Releases office. BigBudgetSequel to the office. I'll see what I can whip up.
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Jun 21, 2011 04:30
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One of the best things about this column is hearing about movies you never knew about and then learning that they're awful. This weeks column was the first I ever heard about the movie Beaver, and at first I was surprised that I hadn't managed to hear about a new Mel Gibson movie. After I read the review I felt vindicated in my ignorance.
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Jun 26, 2011 20:59
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The Beaver was ready for release quite some time ago, but it was held back because of the eruption of bad press surrounding Mel Gibson. Or so we're told. I honestly think they held it back because they knew it was so loving bad.
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Jun 26, 2011 21:27
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I just read the latest reviews and it made me wonder if anyone at all was looking forward to Bad Teacher. The previews made it look like the entire movie was "some woman bullies a bunch of 12 year olds". Fun. Anyway, current releases is probably my favorite frontpage feature, keep it up.
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Jun 27, 2011 01:17
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The Moon Monster posted:I just read the latest reviews and it made me wonder if anyone at all was looking forward to Bad Teacher. The previews made it look like the entire movie was "some woman bullies a bunch of 12 year olds". Fun. I kinda forgot to mention that in my review. There's relatively little "Cameron Diaz bullies a bunch of 12 year olds". Mostly she just bullies adults. Kids are almost entirely incidental to the story, despite rigging test scores being a central plot point. You could have substituted just about any profession and it would've been the same film.
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Jun 27, 2011 02:21
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Sorry, but I don't think you do a very convincing 8-year old 
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Jul 3, 2011 18:43
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Dectilon posted:Sorry, but I don't think you do a very convincing 8-year old That's because Vargo is only 6.
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Jul 3, 2011 20:18
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Jay Dub, I met the perfect girl for you at the bar the other day. She doesn't like talking animals because they freak her out. Unfortunately she was engaged to the guy she was sitting next to.
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Jul 3, 2011 21:04
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Y-Hat posted:Unfortunately she was engaged to the guy she was sitting next to. Didn't stop infamous pussy magnet Y-Hat though.
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Jul 3, 2011 21:34
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Y-Hat posted:Jay Dub, I met the perfect girl for you at the bar the other day. She doesn't like talking animals because they freak her out. Her and every other girl I've ever met. 
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Jul 4, 2011 03:33
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ProfessorClumsy posted:Didn't stop infamous pussy magnet Y-Hat though. Sha-zinnnnng. Score one to the Professor.
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Jul 4, 2011 04:08
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I liked the eight year old character for the Transformers review, mostly because I think being reviewed by an eight year old is about as much respect as that series deserves at this point.
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Jul 4, 2011 06:52
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I am pumped for the upcoming Zookeeper review.
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Jul 4, 2011 07:19
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I'm actually considering taking next week off so that we can just have two pages of Jay Dub screaming. EDIT: ooh, Horrible Bosses! Everyone remember what happened last time I met Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston? Vargo fucked around with this message at 07:35 on Jul 4, 2011 |
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Jul 4, 2011 07:27
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Jay Dub screaming always starts my week out right.
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Jul 4, 2011 14:52
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Y-Hat posted:I am pumped for the upcoming Zookeeper review. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsU1t2vkURg I'm ready.
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Jul 4, 2011 17:23
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Tom Hanks came out during a Julia Roberts interview on Letterman and the intense dislike between them was obvious. Glad to see it made it into the movie as well. Julia must be a huge bitch to not get along with Tom Hanks.
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Jul 11, 2011 10:49
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Clamknuckle posted:Tom Hanks came out That explains a lot.
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Jul 13, 2011 16:29
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Wait till his wife finds out!
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Jul 13, 2011 22:43
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