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Tony Danza Claus posted:Or whatever happened at the end of Feast. Closing the book at the end, dropping it to the floor, and kicking it under the bed was the greatest payoff.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:11
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neongrey posted:Closing the book at the end, dropping it to the floor, and kicking it under the bed was the greatest payoff. I read it on a Kindle, so I couldn't use it as a doorstop or extra toilet paper afterwards. /first world problems
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Oct 27, 2011 18:16
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Yeah you fuckers laughed at me for buying a phsycial copy to go with the Kindle version, who's laughing next to a perfectly level table now?
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Oct 27, 2011 18:19
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neongrey posted:Yeah you fuckers laughed at me for buying a phsycial copy to go with the Kindle version, who's laughing next to a perfectly level table now? I am so confused. Did you kick the book under the bed and leave it, kick the bed under the table THEN retrieve it to use as a table prop or just use it to level out your table? 
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Oct 27, 2011 18:32
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Tony Danza Claus posted:You're saying you weren't riveted by Daenerys making GBS threads all over herself? Wasn't the end of Feast when Jaime throws Cersei's letter into the fire? Or maybe that was a penultimate chapter. Either way, that was an incredibly strong conclusion.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:34
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You can own more than one book. 
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Oct 27, 2011 18:34
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neongrey posted:Yeah you fuckers laughed at me for buying a phsycial copy to go with the Kindle version, who's laughing next to a perfectly level table now? The book is six-odd inches thick. Get a new table.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:35
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rejutka posted:The book is six-odd inches thick. Get a new table. Tear it to the correct size. Duh.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:37
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Jon is dead, but will get resurrected by Melisandre. Aegon pretty much has to get killed, because him being around will take the punch out of the inevitable "Jon is actually a Stark-Targaryen-Atriedes and is a warg who is immune to fire and also he has been King THIS WHOLE TIME" reveal. rejutka posted:The book is six-odd inches thick. Get a new table. You misunderstand. He's leveling the table with his Kindle.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:37
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Tony Danza Claus posted:Tear it to the correct size. Duh. You don't treat books like that.
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Oct 27, 2011 18:43
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Lol poo poo George Martin just had a stroke
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Oct 27, 2011 18:46
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rejutka posted:You don't treat books like that. Maybe you would if you read George R.R. Martin's "A Feast for Crows", the 4th installment of the A Song of Ice and Fire series.
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Oct 27, 2011 19:01
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Dominion posted:Jon is dead, but will get resurrected by Melisandre. Right, not to go all azure_horizon here but christ this isn't loving difficult. The prologue established that A) Jon Stark is a warg B) wargs warg into their animal upon their death. Therefore either: A) Jon didn't die or B) he's chilling in ghost right now. Option C) Melisandre resurrects Jon, is - if it occurs - going to be hilarious given Jon's transferred conscience. Or GRRM's fan encyclopedia forgets about the BLATANT FORESHADOWING in the prologue. 
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Oct 27, 2011 19:23
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But what if Jon warged into Melisandre? 
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Oct 27, 2011 19:27
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"She did not know if he was in her or she in him."
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Oct 27, 2011 19:31
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Can't wait for the Bran-in-Hodor/Jon-in-Ghost incestuobestial rape scene.
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Oct 27, 2011 19:32
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If you're warged into something else can another warg take over your body while you're away? Bran wargs Hodor, Jon wargs Bran, Bran tries to go back but is blocked and wargs a tree. Jon then wargs Hodor and Bran wargs Jon and I think Hodor ends up as a tree.
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Oct 27, 2011 19:41
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Hodor already is a tree, at least going by the trunk-like thickness of his junk. Is there really a red-clad dominatrix with a pain dildo in Wizard's First Rule?
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Oct 27, 2011 19:47
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bigmcgaffney posted:Is there really a red-clad dominatrix with a pain dildo in Wizard's First Rule? I think this is pretty much the question we're all waiting for an answer to.
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Oct 27, 2011 19:56
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I'm really hoping for some closure on the most important, rivetting character. I cannot wait for Pies of Hotness another five years, that's simply unacceptable.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:00
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bigmcgaffney posted:Hodor already is a tree, at least going by the trunk-like thickness of his junk. There is a whole group of them. They're the big bad's elite guards basically, which they accomplish mainly with pain dildos and BDSM rape. But the main character is so awesome because objectivism that they fall in love with him and renounce their evil ways.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:02
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When we say pain dildos, do we mean vaguely phallic pain wands or do we mean strap-ons with a glans and possibly balls that are specifically used to induce pain via loving?
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Oct 27, 2011 20:04
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IRQ posted:There is a whole group of them. They're the big bad's elite guards basically, which they accomplish mainly with pain dildos and BDSM rape. I want to buy this now. I want to know the truth behind Richard Rahl's magic objectivism, so magic it.can warm the hearts of... Everyone.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:05
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We're talking 12 inch long 4 inch thick rods that cause pain when they touch you and can be used as a dildo.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:05
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Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:Lol poo poo George Martin just had a stroke Do you have a link (or maybe this is a fake post  )? Google news didn't turn up anything.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:06
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Ross posted:Do you have a link (or maybe this is a fake post They thought it was a stroke, Gurm just had a Pizza Pocket stuck in his throat.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:09
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Sorry, I have this awful tendency to type out (and post) what I wish would happen.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:09
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I'm reading WoW amd just got to the part where Jon-Ghost just started making GBS threads all over as he butt-scooted across the top of the wall, like a lovely lawnmower, and the fecal particles froze in an arc. Edd's reaction was loving hilarious, love that guy.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:17
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The American Strolkein
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Oct 27, 2011 20:18
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bigmcgaffney posted:I want to buy this now. I want to know the truth behind Richard Rahl's magic objectivism, so magic it.can warm the hearts of... Everyone. Later on an evil witch who used to be a not-Aes Sedai (they're totally not ripped straight of WoT, NOT AT ALL) kidnaps him and takes him to Fantasy Moscow where she rapes him a lot and he then starts a business with his bootstraps which he uses to buy poo poo so he can make a statue and the statue is so awesome that Fantasy Moscow embraces capitalism and goes to war against the bad guys and the evil witch falls in love with Richard and joins the good guys. Also there's an evil chicken. And the whole series culminates in a soccer riot. I'm being 100% serious, this stuff is literally in those books.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:18
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A Dance With Dragons - When we say "pain dildos"...
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Oct 27, 2011 20:21
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Soccer riot? E: also I love how the male "confessors" (people with magic such that if they touch you enslave you to their will) have absolutely no refractory period from use of their powers while women need ages and ages. whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Oct 27, 2011 |
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Oct 27, 2011 20:23
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bigmcgaffney posted:Is there really a red-clad dominatrix with a pain dildo in Wizard's First Rule? Pretty much anything you hear about Sword of Truth is true because nobody needs to lie about it. Like they don't use the word dildo but it is completely a dildo. Also dildo is a great word so it is objectively a worse book for not using the word dildo. Dildo.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:32
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whowhatwhere posted:Soccer riot? Wizards First Rule: Randian horseshit Wizards Second Rule: Misogynism Mondays... every day. Wizards Third Rule: Richard is a gross Mary-Sue masturbatory stand-in for Terry Goodkind. I stopped reading this garbage 2 chapters into Blood of the Fold and got on board Gurm's torture porn smorgasbord of rape and pie! Never looked back.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:32
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A re-read of COK just reminded me that Hot Pie is the kid who said he kicked another kid in the balls so hard his junk turned black and he died. That dude owns.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:35
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Intel&Sebastian posted:A re-read of COK just reminded me that Hot Pie is the kid who said he kicked another kid in the balls so hard his junk turned black and he died. That dude owns. Sort of reminds me of a non-pussy Ender that actually owns up to his ball-busting. Hot Pie was last spotted making bread for the Brotherhood Without Banners. We can safely assume that Jon Arryn's dying words were of course referring to Hot Pie.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:42
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Intel&Sebastian posted:A re-read of COK just reminded me that Hot Pie is the kid who said he kicked another kid in the balls so hard his junk turned black and he died. That dude owns. True story, happened to GRRM summer of '92
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Oct 27, 2011 20:44
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That explains his obsession with Eunuchs.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:46
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whowhatwhere posted:Soccer riot? In the last(or second to last?) book Richard gets captured by the bad guys and they put him on some team of something or other that each army unit has for some reason. Of course since he is Richard he is the best player ever and totally owns and gets to the championship match which is conveniently held at the siege where his wife and the pain dildo squad are camped out and anyway long story short Richard is so awesome at fantasy soccer he inspires everyone to go crazy and wreck the big bad's plans and then he sends people without magic to earth and magic lives happily ever after until Goodkind needed a payday and started writing more novels about the main characters but flat out refuses to call them Sword of Truth novels and I haven't read those yet. I don't know that I ever will. I read the first ones like 10 years ago over summer break and kept up with the new releases because I kept getting them as gifts. So, I guess at least you can say that Goodkind, even though his books are Randroid self insert rape fantasy, can get books out the door, unlike Gurm. e: neongrey posted:Pretty much anything you hear about Sword of Truth is true because nobody needs to lie about it. This.
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Oct 27, 2011 20:52
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Intel&Sebastian posted:A re-read of COK just reminded me that Hot Pie is the kid who said he kicked another kid in the balls so hard his junk turned black and he died. That dude owns. To be fair, testicles are poison factories and them fuckers rupturing and spilling chemicals means you have not a lot of time before you up and die. Kick Gurm in the balls, I guess*. *Kick hard and with a stretched, flatted foot shape for maximum rupturosity.
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Oct 27, 2011 21:02
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