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venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

clarabelle posted:

So I made a portal cake (except it was a coffee cake as per its recipient's wishes rather than the actual portal cake recipe)



The "Portal cake" is actually a Black Forest cake, not something invented for Portal. Everything about the appearance is pretty traditional for Black Forest cakes, except you appear to have omitted most of the whipped cream in favor of covering the entire thing in flakes of chocolate, and used candied cherries instead of maraschino.

edit: The "actual Portal cake recipe" is as follows, so I guess it's good you didn't use it:

quote:

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes, such as:

fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped ethyl benzene
pull and peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer

venus de lmao fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Feb 14, 2012

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PezMaster
Nov 15, 2006

Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out babies.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

edit: The "actual Portal cake recipe" is as follows, so I guess it's good you didn't use it:

When the first ingredient in the recipe is packaged cake mix, it is not a recipe. It is an abomination.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

PezMaster posted:

When the first ingredient in the recipe is packaged cake mix, it is not a recipe. It is an abomination.

When the last garnish is "a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer" I think it's safe to assume that finding another recipe is preferable to authenticity.

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
Can anyone point me to a good hot/spicy cake or cupcake recipe?

Tiramisu
Dec 25, 2006

Hey, where did you go!? Do you really dislike seeing my face that much!?
Thought I'd do something creative and did a little research on how to use fondant. I made a rose cake for Valentine's day but I still ended up buying my girlfriend flowers anyway. I think the rose turned out pretty well. Fondant's pretty easy to work with if time consuming but it seriously tastes like rear end. You can't see because I intentionally hid the leaves but I really hosed those up.

The Pillowman
Jun 14, 2008

Tiramisu posted:

Thought I'd do something creative and did a little research on how to use fondant. I made a rose cake for Valentine's day but I still ended up buying my girlfriend flowers anyway. I think the rose turned out pretty well. Fondant's pretty easy to work with if time consuming but it seriously tastes like rear end. You can't see because I intentionally hid the leaves but I really hosed those up.



My boyfriend never bakes for me :(

Anyways, I've had some great fondant and some horrible one. Which kind did you by? There's the fondant hawked by the dude who does the "Ace of Cakes" show, I bought it once when I needed a deep red fondant and didn't want to color my own. It's pricey, but quite tasty...

paisleyfox
Feb 23, 2009

My dog thinks he's a pretty lady.


A friend and I made a red velvet softball cake for a 15 year old's birthday. I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself!



We also did 2 dozen cupcakes to go with it, but our first attempts at frosting them with the little bit of leftover buttercream turned out to look like...well, they looked like poo poo. Literally like chickens walked over tennis balls. My friend ran out to get more icing and just did generic swirls after I went home since we were both tired and hungry at that point.

PezMaster
Nov 15, 2006

Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out babies.
I did a birthday too not so long ago - but it was for a one year old. Who buys 75 dollars worth of cupcakes for a one year old?



More importantly, I've got to post the little cakes we did for our town's annual charity cupcake throwdown. We did "White Russians" that were pretty goddamm strong. Probably because I was drinking heavily while making the buttercream and filling.

Tiramisu
Dec 25, 2006

Hey, where did you go!? Do you really dislike seeing my face that much!?

The Pillowman posted:

My boyfriend never bakes for me :(

Anyways, I've had some great fondant and some horrible one. Which kind did you by? There's the fondant hawked by the dude who does the "Ace of Cakes" show, I bought it once when I needed a deep red fondant and didn't want to color my own. It's pricey, but quite tasty...

Wilton's. We peeled off the outer layer and ate the cake underneath because we'd heard ahead of time fondant was pretty awful but I couldn't help trying a piece while I was making the cake and nearly spit it onto the cake.

radioaktivitat
Sep 2, 2011
Hooray, there's a baking thread! Hopefully you don't mind if I share this rather derpy looking dinosaur cake that I made for my boyfriend's nephew's birthday. He was over the moon with it, apparently. I'm not 100% happy with how it turned out but I don't think it's bad for my first attempt at something like this...:ohdear:



Only the body is cake, the legs/head/neck/tail are solid fondant. I had thought there'd be enough cake left over from trimming the body to make legs etc, but there wasn't. The rocks and leaves for the nest are fondant too and the eggs are chocolate mini eggs. A surprisingly large amount of the time making it was spent on arguing about whether dinosaurs made nests and if so what the nests might look like...

varjoankka
Jun 15, 2011

His Divine Shadow posted:

I made Runebergs torte today....

I was thinking of making those too few week ago, never got around on making them.. Mostly because lack of a good recipe, you be willing to share yours?

Bellakitty
Dec 28, 2008

radioaktivitat posted:

Hooray, there's a baking thread! Hopefully you don't mind if I share this rather derpy looking dinosaur cake that I made for my boyfriend's nephew's birthday. He was over the moon with it, apparently. I'm not 100% happy with how it turned out but I don't think it's bad for my first attempt at something like this...:ohdear:



Only the body is cake, the legs/head/neck/tail are solid fondant. I had thought there'd be enough cake left over from trimming the body to make legs etc, but there wasn't. The rocks and leaves for the nest are fondant too and the eggs are chocolate mini eggs. A surprisingly large amount of the time making it was spent on arguing about whether dinosaurs made nests and if so what the nests might look like...

I love it! The nest is totally perfect for it.

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

varjoankka posted:

I was thinking of making those too few week ago, never got around on making them.. Mostly because lack of a good recipe, you be willing to share yours?

I just googled one and it wasn't that good because something about its liquid to flour ratio was off I thought. I would just have to pick one at random if I where to recommend one.

Maybe this one in Finnish, I'd just run the page through google translate, I thought it came out rather understandable, though ignore any mention of cups in the translated recipe, it's really dl (deciliter = 100ml):
http://blogit.mtv3.fi/elamamakeaksi/2012/01/31/runebergin-tortut/

And vadelmamarmeladia = raspberry jam.

clarabelle
Apr 9, 2009
Made this tonight

Medenmath
Jan 18, 2003
I've been having a strange craving for carrot cake lately. Can anyone recommend me a recipe?

Cpt.Wacky
Apr 17, 2005

Third Murderer posted:

I've been having a strange craving for carrot cake lately. Can anyone recommend me a recipe?

It depends on what you do or don't like in it: pineapple, raisins, coconut, walnut.

I don't usually care for any of them except raisins. This is my recipe based off a King Arthur Flour recipe:

Makes one 9x13, two 9-inch round or three 8-inch round cakes.

Carrot Cake Ingredients
1 cup (7 ounces) vegetable oil
2 cups (14 ounces) sugar
4 large eggs
1 tablespoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon ginger
¼ teaspoon cloves
¼ to ⅛ teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups (8 ½ ounces) King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
3 cups (11 ½ ounces) finely grated carrots
6 ounces raisins

Beat together everything except the flour, baking soda, carrots and raisins.
Mix the flour and baking soda, then add to the wet ingredients.
Stir in the carrots and raisins.
Pour into a parchment-lined pan. I also use cooking spray above and below the parchment, this stuff loves to stick to anything.
Bake at 350 F until done. Time depends on the shape and size of the pan. Use the toothpick test. Say 35-40 minutes for 8 or 9-inch round pans. 55 for 9x13.
Loosen the edges and cool in the pan for 15 minutes, then turn out and cool on a rack.

Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
one 8-ounce package cream cheese
¼ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons vanilla
1-3 drops of Fiori di Sicilia (blend of citrus and vanilla, substitute orange or lemon extract, or skip if you're boring)
2 ½ cups (10 ounces) glazing sugar or confectioners' sugar
2-3 teaspoons milk, cream or water to adjust consistency of frosting, if necessary

Beat together butter and cream cheese until smooth.
Add salt (omit if using salted butter), vanilla and optional citrus flavoring.
Beat in powdered sugar in small batches.
Add a teaspoon of milk or cream if the frosting is too stiff to spread.
Add additional powdered sugar if it's too thin.

Royal icing is good for piping carrots and carrot leaves if you want to get fancy with decorations.

1 egg white
1 1/2 cups (6 ounces) confectioners' sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice

Beat everything until you get stiff peaks. Separate and color as needed.

Wandering Knitter
Feb 5, 2006

Meow
I have a Mom who loves carrot cake but hates walnuts/raisins/other add-ins. Will this recipe work even if I leave out the raisins?

Im A Lime
Nov 18, 2007

Wandering Knitter posted:

I have a Mom who loves carrot cake but hates walnuts/raisins/other add-ins. Will this recipe work even if I leave out the raisins?

I've had tons of carrot cake sans-raisins, and they are all awesome. I reallllllllllly doubt leaving out the raisins will change the cake in any way.

Wandering Knitter
Feb 5, 2006

Meow

Susical posted:

I've had tons of carrot cake sans-raisins, and they are all awesome. I reallllllllllly doubt leaving out the raisins will change the cake in any way.

Just making sure! Baking isn't my strong point. :ohdear:

Cpt.Wacky
Apr 17, 2005
It will be fine without raisins. Pineapple is the tricky one to add in since it's really hard to get them drained well, so you should considering reducing the oil or increasing the flour a little.

Even though I put a cup measure for flour, be sure to measure by weight. Measuring ingredients by weight is the easiest thing you can do to improve your baking.

PezMaster
Nov 15, 2006

Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out babies.


Cream and espresso cakes filled with vodka cream and topped with a kahlua swiss buttercream. A White Russian worthy of the Dude.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
Are those dragées on top? Do you find them edible? I've never seen M&M-shaped ones like that.

Stopgap
May 26, 2003

That's MISTER Freeze to you!

clarabelle posted:

Made this tonight



That is really, really cute. Nice job!

Medenmath
Jan 18, 2003

Cpt.Wacky posted:

This is my recipe based off a King Arthur Flour recipe: (etc.)

Awesome, thanks! I'll be trying this out this weekend.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
Carrot cake is my father in law's favorite and I have had excellent results using this smitten kitchen recipe. I use dried cranberries instead of raisins. He is an adorable old man who has been cooking for 40+ years and is very hard to please. When I make something that doesn't come out quite right he will come right out and say it. I have made this cake for him twice and both times he wandered off muttering "best drat carrot cake I ever ate."

clarabelle
Apr 9, 2009

Stopgap posted:

That is really, really cute. Nice job!

Thanks, I took a class on how to make dragon and dinosaur cakes. I'm planning to do a Stegosaurus cake in the same style next

PezMaster
Nov 15, 2006

Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out babies.

Anne Whateley posted:

Are those dragées on top? Do you find them edible? I've never seen M&M-shaped ones like that.

They are indeed dragées. Got them from the mother-in-law, who got them from a bakery shop in Paris. They're actually dragées that I don't mind eating - they've got a crunchy coating, with almost a gummy centre. Also, they taste like the best vanilla sugar ever :3: I'm going to Paris for the first time this spring - picking up another bag of those are definitely on my to-do list (along with a whole hell of a lot of macarons).

Medenmath
Jan 18, 2003
I made Cpt.Wacky's carrot cake recipe, but stole Smitten Kitchen's idea for maple icing. Turned out great! Sorry for the terrible picture, I have no camera but my phone at the moment.

Im A Lime
Nov 18, 2007

Hey guys, what's something I could make for a St. Patrick's day themed bake-off/contest and WIN?? I am wracking my brain for St. Patty's things.. I just don't want to add green food coloring to something, yknow? I also really want to win this since I was gypped at the company chili cookoff.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
Make an enormous rainbow cake shaped like a pot of gold. They won't know what to do with themselves.

Im A Lime
Nov 18, 2007

Totally forgot about rainbow cake!! How could I shape it? Hmm... I want to cover it in gold chocolate coins now.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
Here's one idea.

Psychobabble
Jan 17, 2006
It actually wouldn't be all that difficult to stack your cakes and then trim them down just a little bit to get a classic pot shape. Then just cover it with black fondant and cover the top with foil wrapped chocolate coins and perhaps a handle.

PezMaster
Nov 15, 2006

Though they won't admit it, women were much happier when all they had to do was bake shit and pump out babies.
Bake a potato cake.

Or little cakes that look like potatoes.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
Holy poo poo cake potatoes. I am so making those. Thanks for the link PezMaster!

Caitlin
Aug 18, 2006

When I die, if there is a heaven, I will spend eternity rolling around with a pile of kittens.
http://www.food.com/recipe/irish-potatoes-candy-22171

There are also Irish potato candies that look like tiny potatoes. Some have potato in them for starch, some don't, some have coconut flakes - but the end result are tiny potatoes. I think they're kind of popular in the northeastern US.

Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:

I made the little spongecakes but they deflated as soon as I took them out of the oven. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, maybe I folded too roughly or something.

clarabelle
Apr 9, 2009
Oh the crazy St. Patrick's Day recipes. I had an American flatmate who was stunned when I told her that "potato cupcakes" aren't a thing in Ireland

Those potato petit fours are pretty drat cute though

paisleyfox
Feb 23, 2009

My dog thinks he's a pretty lady.


Charmmi posted:

I made the little spongecakes but they deflated as soon as I took them out of the oven. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, maybe I folded too roughly or something.

I recently found out through my Martha magazine that if you get a cake that rises high, but deflates in a dense mess when cooling, you could have too much baking powder/soda in your batter. There isn't enough gluten in the flour to help keep it risen, so it falls.

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Charmmi
Dec 8, 2008

:trophystare:
That makes sense, since the cake is made with mostly cornstarch and a little bit of flour. I made it again with the same deflaty results. I'll increase the flour on my next attempt and see what happens. There's no baking soda/powder though, only beaten egg whites.

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