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Hoo boy, I was worried for a minute there when Disco knocked the other guy out! And also super happy my opponent had proper body armor, that could have been a disaster otherwise. I think this is the farthest I've ever made it...and it's all thanks to my losing prowess... :/
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Mar 3, 2012 09:52
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:24 |
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Oh wow, I made it to the final? Awesome! This is going to be a tough fight though. 
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Mar 3, 2012 17:46
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Kobold Krusher, Championship Disco McGlitterpants (Bad Munki) vs Klokberk (Klokwurk) Disco McGlitterpants is the last of the three archers fielded in this competition, making up for his pathetic lack of skill with adamantine equipment. Klokberk's weapon is his signature dual platinum daggers, and his adamantine armor protects different, but still small, bits of the kobold. This is it: these are the two worst kobolds ever fielded, but today one of them will win.  Right off, Disco wastes no time in sticking Klokberk with a shot, a deep and freely-bleeding cut to the right arm. The rest of the charge sees Klokberk trailing a pool of his own blood. A second shot, right as Klokberk gets up in Disco's face! Another clean hit! The left leg is stuck, just barely avoiding the femoral artery. Disco's suddenly gained some massive competence, it seems. The injured Klokberk tries to hack at Disco, but Disco matches him, parry for shot. He doesn't manage to touch Disco before his third and last arrow is fired. It's a foot shot! Disco is three for three in injuring Klokberk with arrows!  And yet Disco is uninjured to date. Klokberk tries to tackle Disco with a dive at his feet, but only succeeds in hitting his chin against the stone floor, rising woozily before Disco can hit him again. Disco lands the next injury, as well, an open-palm scratch to Klokberk's shin that opens another bleeding wound. Klokberk's losing an awful lot of blood by now, but gamely bodychecks Disco again, as well as bouncing off again, dizzied. Two bow blows bruise body, but fail to injury him further before he snaps out of it. Having settled on a technique, even one that hasn't worked to date, Klokberk charges again, this time failing to even hit Disco, who calmly steps aside. First blood for Klokberk! As Disco McGlitterpants chases Klokberk to bash him from the back, Klokberk turns around and employs his kobold claws on the archer, tearing a bloody strip from Disco's hand. Several weaker attacks do nothing meaningful. Then Klokberk's platinum dagger is stabbed directly through Disco's left arm, dealing fearful damage. All Klokberk can do in response is a bruising swing with his adamantine bow, and another that breaks a fingernail.  The fight drags on. At this point it's clear that Klokberk's ace in the hole is his ability and wont to stun himself while charging at Disco, and Disco's is his pathetic lack of armor that opens himself to any injury being potentially crippling. The slender adamantine bow whips around faster and faster as Disco learns via experience. He's still not all that good with it, but he's well on the way to pulling a Wally Walleyed with it. Finally, Klokberk bites. His sharp kobold teeth sink deep into Disco's unprotected chest, but Disco dislodges him before he can shake him around and do some serious damage. His response is to bite out one of Klokberk's teeth, which goes flying.  There it is, a z-level up and beyond the arena walls. We're well into day two at this point, and both combatants are the worse for wear, but still fighting fit. A ringing punch from Disco sends another of Klokberk's teeth flying, sailing three z-levels up and dropping it into the moat outside the arena. Klokberk's response is slow in coming, but when it does, it's a brutal stab to the hand that forces the bow from Disco's grasp. Pinging off the armor a little more, he finds another good place to targe: Disco's lung. Gasping for breath, it looks like it's all over for the plucky little archer. A slash to the arm. Another to the eye. Klokberk, unused to the taste of potential victory, savages Disco McGlitterpants without mercy. More and more blows come, many blocked by those entrancing pants, but enough others gouge deeply into Disco, who can no longer mount a competent defense. Eventually, Disco passes out from pain, winning the title of "worst kobold in the Krusher" as Klokberk eventually figures out how to kill him with a headshot, and stands atop the body for a victory cry.  Fittingly, I think this is the bloodiest arena we had this side tournament! Fight log Klokberk posted:Adamantine Helm - 600 Klokberk really didn't do anything wrong. Maybe the breastplate should've been exchanged for boots and gauntlets, but that may not have been a good move, either. This was a fighter who had every right to get as far as he did. Disco McGlitterpants posted:Equipment: (3000 points total) Disco, on the other hand, was the one I figured was going to win from the get-go. He had to exchange the crossbow for a bow, for racial use reasons, but even using only 2880 points, he hit all the worst possibilities: no skills, no useful armor coverage, and no good weapon. Allowing adamantine bows was a bit of a mistake, but thankfully other contenders stepped up the awful to make their fights interesting instead of one-sided. He could easily have killed and thus lost two either of his last two opponents. Still, the victory goes to Bad Munki and his incredibly bad Disco McGlitterpants! Congratulations!
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Mar 3, 2012 20:55
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Curses! What a fight! Well done Munki!
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Mar 3, 2012 22:35
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Yay, I am the master! Of not winning! That's good I guess!  As soon as I read I hit with all three shots, I figured it was a done deal, but somehow things went blessedly south in the end. gently caress ROGERS' LEGACY UP IN HERE
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Mar 3, 2012 22:38
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Man, wish I'd caught this in time to make an entry, I whipped up a build that lost in spectacular fashion to both of the championship fighters. The fight against Disco McGlitterpants was nothing really noteworthy apart from him somehow managing to cave my kobold's skull in with an adamantine crossbow, but the fight with Klokberk, well... Highlights include both Kobolds crippling both of their opponent's hands and forcing them both to drop both of their weapons. Whereafter the fight degenerated into kicking and biting, climaxing in Klokberk biting my Kobold, Funk Rogers, on the leg and shaking him around whilst Funk Rogers was simultaneously biting him in the hand and shaking him around. Dwarf Fortress  .VVVV Whoops! One Adamantine mail shirt (1080), two steel mail shirts (450x2) and one steel breastplate (400) for a total of 2380 in armour, double platinum scourges (300x2) for a grand total of 2980 points spent. Mr. Vile fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Mar 4, 2012 |
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Mar 3, 2012 23:40
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Yeah, you say that, but then you don't post your proposed stats.  I think that one of the biggest things in that fight (aside from hitting with all three shots somehow?!) was getting disarmed towards the end. That put me more or less back to square one, skill-wise, and really locked in the fight, I'd imagine.
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Mar 4, 2012 00:41
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Bad Munki posted:Yeah, you say that, but then you don't post your proposed stats. pretty much; Klokberk always had at least one rank over you in skills, but Disco was still pulling his weight until he lost that bow. (The worst build I'd come up with, which I would've added to the mix if people hadn't snapped up all the slots so quickly that I would have felt bad about taking one, was: Adamantine Battleaxe (1080) Silver Scourge (180) Adamantine High Boots (480) Adamantine Greaves (720) Adamantine Cap (360) Lasher 1 (30) Which is really pretty pathetic, since the AI goes "oh, I know how to use this scourge" most of the time.)
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Mar 4, 2012 02:21
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Mr. Vile posted:VVVV Whoops! One Adamantine mail shirt (1080), two steel mail shirts (450x2) and one steel breastplate (400) for a total of 2380 in armour, double platinum scourges (300x2) for a grand total of 2980 points spent. Well, for what it's worth, I ran a couple tests and once, my kobold one-shotted yours, and the other time, he missed two shots before melee, and then knocked yours unconscious, but because of all that armor, couldn't finish the job, until your chap woke up, got disarmed, fell unconscious again, had another siesta, and then woke up and eventually kicked Disco's head in in a fit of ennui or something. The armor is a good plan in that it slows the kobold down a lot, but if he gets past the initial three-arrow volley, it helps him an awful lot.
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Mar 4, 2012 02:56
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Bad Munki posted:Well, for what it's worth, I ran a couple tests and once, my kobold one-shotted yours, and the other time, he missed two shots before melee, and then knocked yours unconscious, but because of all that armor, couldn't finish the job, until your chap woke up, got disarmed, fell unconscious again, had another siesta, and then woke up and eventually kicked Disco's head in in a fit of ennui or something. My thinking was that to fill the point total you're resigned to having at least some adamantine armour, and that's going to be impenetrable to any weapon a Kobold designed to lose is going to be using. With that in mind, you may as well just sink as many points as possible into further protecting those already invincible areas and leave the rest of the body unprotected. Aren't attacks on unconscious targets supposed to go for the head, though? Or is this version of DF from before that was brought in?
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Mar 4, 2012 03:08
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They do, but when you're completely incompetent and swinging a nerfbow as your weapon, you're lucky to get minor bruising while the rest of the target's body heals. Part of it, I think, is that the torso in general has all the vital organs, and as such, is critical to NOT protect. In my case, yeah, my fancy pants blocked a couple shots, but they only would have been less-critical leg shots, as opposed to getting stabbed in the lungs and such. Still, so much of it is just luck. v  v
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Mar 4, 2012 03:16
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Mr. Vile posted:Aren't attacks on unconscious targets supposed to go for the head, though? Or is this version of DF from before that was brought in? They do. If they're not going for the head against an unconscious target, it usually means a really awkward weapon, which I think is the game going "wow, you're too weak to swing it at his head reliably". But almost always it's head shots. We got to see this a few times with the kobolds, too.
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Mar 4, 2012 03:16
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ZeeToo posted:They do. If they're not going for the head against an unconscious target, it usually means a really awkward weapon, which I think is the game going "wow, you're too weak to swing it at his head reliably". But almost always it's head shots. We got to see this a few times with the kobolds, too. Huhn. Well, I guess if you were to think of the most awkward melee weapon possible a styrofoam crossbow with no arrows would be pretty near the top of the list. Bad Munki posted:They do, but when you're completely incompetent and swinging a nerfbow as your weapon, you're lucky to get minor bruising while the rest of the target's body heals. Yeah, I was really gambling on getting a debilitating shot to the leg or something early on. Your kobold's nerfbow managed to cave in my kobold's skull pretty good in the first test I ran, and that was when I messed up and forgot to give him any arrows. Regardless of the outcome though, we can at least be sure that Disco McGlitterpants vs. Funk Rogers was the grooviest battle ever held.
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Mar 4, 2012 03:26
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Mr. Vile posted:Disco McGlitterpants vs. Funk Rogers was the grooviest battle ever held. Soundtrack soon available on iTunes!
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Mar 4, 2012 04:10
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Wow, that last battle was a lot bloodier than I thought it would be considering we had the two worst fighters in the tournament duking it out. Still though it was an amazing fight and I had thought my initial bet would be wrong as soon as Disco connected with all three shots he had, that was a really good setup though Munki. Either way though I would have been happy, either my opponent or a build I thought would win would have won, and it was a ridiculously close battle until the bow disarm. Fun tournament ZeeToo, I hope we have more gimmicky tournaments like this in the future!
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Mar 4, 2012 08:28
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You are going to make Disco fight the winner of the main tournament, right?
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Mar 4, 2012 08:47
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Well that was fun. Back to the main event tomorrow!
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Mar 5, 2012 06:08
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Here is an official copy of the arena files since we lost the old ones along with everything on megaupload. I am editing the files post below the OP to include this.
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Mar 8, 2012 22:13
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*grin* Is it tomorrow yet, Vox? 
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Mar 10, 2012 01:07
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Vox Nihili posted:Well that was fun. Back to the main event tomorrow! VoxTime is the best time.
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Mar 10, 2012 05:30
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 Round Two, Match ThirteenMatch Thirteen, Lon Chaney's Lover (Halloween Jack) vs. Dr Stranglelove (Shorter Than Some) Lon Chaney's Lover, a werewolf, wields an iron halberd and wears leather high boots and a tough leather tunic. Dr Stranglelove, strangler, has a pair of steel picks held between his four hands. This match could easily go either way!  The match opens with both combatants flying across the ring, matching one another step for step! Dr Stranglelove is just quick enough to strike first, rending the werewolf's lower leg! Lon Chaney's Lover falls to the ground, unable to stand upon his ruined leg. He attempts a strike from the ground, but the strangler parries. The werewolf is able to parry and then scramble away from his opponent's next attacks, however.  Stranglelove steps to the side, balancing himself for a huge strike. He brings down his pick with all his might, slamming it into the werewolf's chest with a sickening THWUNK. Muscle, rib, and lung give way before the sharpened pick, and Lon Chaney's Lover is instantly debilitated. From here, the fight is just a brutal mutilation fest. Stranglelove sinks both his picks into the Lon Chaney's Lover, again and again, one after another, tearing into organs, ripping off limbs, and generally turning the werewolf into an unidentifiable mess. Within moments, Lon Chaney's Lover bleeds out, and Dr Stranglelove claims a decisive victory.  Combat Log
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Mar 10, 2012 22:18
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Round Two, Match Fourteen Match Fourteen, Iron Lung Jack (Jack the Lad) vs. Pip (CommaToes) Iron Lung Jack, admitted elf, shows up with an adamantine battleaxe and not a stitch of armor. Pip the tigerman, on the other hand, wears an iron breastplate and iron helm. He wields a steel two-handed sword and iron short sword in the rapier and dagger style. Whoever gets in the first hit here is going to have a big advantage- will Pip be able to keep up with the nimble Iron Lung Jack?  The bout begins! Iron Lung Jack explodes out of his corner, absolutely flying at Pip. The tigerman prepares himself to receive the elf's attack. Iron Lung Jack attempts a clever underhanded swing of his ultra-light axe, but somehow Pip is able to parry the strike with his short sword at the last second! Now Pip charges at his smaller opponent, and though the elf is able to parry, he is knocked to the ground, stunned. Pip follows up with an overhead swing, but even in his confused state, Iron Lung Jack is able to deflect the strike! Now Pip switches things up and thrusts with his massive sword, slipping it past the elf's guard and impaling him through the guts! Iron Lung Jack vomits up copious amounts of blood and bile.  Keeping his two-handed sword stuck within the elf's guts, Pip strikes off his opponent's foot with his "dagger" of a short sword! Iron Lung Jack tries to fight back, but Pip parries the pinned elf's attempt, then strikes off his other leg entirely! All the while, Iron Lung Jack is kept pinned in place by the massive sword through his gut.  Not pictured: Iron Lung Jack's left leg, which is four levels in the air Iron Lung Jack continues to struggle to no avail. Pip hacks off the elf's arm with two strikes, and Jack is unable to so much as touch the tigerman. The elf bleeds out shortly after, and only then does Pip pull his massive sword free.  Combat Log
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Mar 10, 2012 22:43
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Round Two, Match Fifteen Match Fifteen, Yum (pelao) vs. YETI BRAWL ENTRANT 76268 (VladTheEater) Yum, goblin, is kitted out with a copper war hammer, oaken shield, leather cap, leather body armor, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Yum clearly wants to protect her extremities. YETI BRAWL ENTRANT 76268, yeti, is geared in what has become the traditional fashion for yetis here. Steel mail shirt, steel helm, iron gauntlets, iron high boots, and no weapon other than his massive fists. This could make for an interesting fight. Can Yum swing her hammer with enough force to inflict real harm upon 76268?  The match begins! Goblin and yeti rush forward, both weighed down with gear. They meet center ring. Yum opens the fight with an ill-advised shield-slap to 76268 chest, inflicting mild bruising upon the yeti. Now YETI 76268 does what we all expect him to do and charges at the goblin, fists flailing through the air! Yum sees the beast coming, steps forward and past the yeti, pivots, and delivers a powerful, upward swing of her hammer to the yeti's steel-clad head!  YETI 76268 continues forward another pace and stands still a moment- has the blow had any effect upon the beast? A heartbeat later, though, the huge monster collapses to the ground! His cervical vertebrae were crushed by the goblin's blow, leaving the yeti almost completely paralyzed! The beast flails weakly on the ground, but Yum has this. She delivers a crushing blow to the yeti's ribcage, then finishes him off with another strike to the head! Yum has absolutely beaten the odds with this incredible win!  Combat Log
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Mar 10, 2012 23:06
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Round Two, Match Sixteen Match Sixteen, Ben Mattock (Orv) vs. MLK (Red Dragon) To bring today's festivities to a close, we have a minotaur-on-minotaur hammer beat-down! Ben Mattock, minotaur, carries an iron maul in one hand, an oak shield in the other, and wears an iron helm, iron mail shirt, iron breast plate, and leather high boots. MLK, on the other hand, goes for simplicity: his gear list begins and ends with an iron war hammer. Ben Mattock's build is clearly meant for fighting smaller opponent's, while MLK's is a more generalist set-up. Can Ben Mattock hold his own against an opponent who will almost certainly hold higher skill ranks?  The fight is underway! Both minotaurs advance at full speed, but MLK proves somewhat quicker due to his lack of burdening armor. The two meet center-arena and MLK attacks with- his teeth!? MLK chomps down on his opponent's unprotected lower arm! Ben Mattock does his best to swing at MLK despite the grip on his arm, but his attempt is easily parried. Now MLK shakes his head wildly, tearing into Ben's arm with massive, powerful molars! Ben Mattock drops his maul, his grip effectively crippled by his opponent's powerful bite!  Ben Mattock attempts to use his shield to bash his opponent, but MLK knocks the move aside with ease and delivers a solid counter to Ben Mattock's chest, inflicting moderate bruising. MLK is on the offensive again, now charging at Ben Mattock! He delivers a powerful strike mid-charge, smashing his opponent's leg and sending him tumbling! Now Ben Mattock suffers the full brunt of MLK's offensive, suffering hammer-strikes and gorings in rapid succession! Somehow, Ben weathers this all and gets back to his feet, still more or less in fighting condition!  The bout continues, Ben Mattock still suffering blow after blow with nothing to show for it. Finally, he lands a punch upon his opponent's thigh, but he'll need to do a lot more than that to get back in this fight. MLK punishes his opponent's crippled arm again and again, mutilating the exposed flesh and bone with hammer strikes. Ben Mattock bleeds profusely from the wound, and is soon pale from loss of blood. MLK knocks down his opponent again, and Ben Mattock, crippled, agonized, and nearly bloodless finally falters. MLK then shatters Ben's spine for good measure.  Ben Mattock, blinded by his own blood, struggles on, but the fight is over. The gruesome beating reaches a feverish crescendo, then stops quite suddenly. Ben Mattock has bled out, and this fight is over.  Combat Log
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Mar 10, 2012 23:36
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VladTheEater posted:*grin* Is it tomorrow yet, Vox? It is now! In a side note, I'm sorry to see your fighter go out so early. It was a good build and would have won in that match-up a good 90% of the time.
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Mar 10, 2012 23:38
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I'm pretty sure Yum's win is a win for all of us. Well, except Vlad.
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Mar 10, 2012 23:51
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Ahhh, RNG is so unkind.  Well fought, Yum.
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Mar 11, 2012 00:09
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Wow. That was an absolutely brutal kill on the part of Pip, kudos.
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Mar 11, 2012 01:02
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Yay. Pip is awesome. Now, let's see how my bets go.
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Mar 11, 2012 03:49
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 My bets are all going south this round.
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Mar 11, 2012 08:47
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ZeeToo posted:
I'm so sorry Zeetoo.  At least we can be dorf-poor together.
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Mar 11, 2012 09:19
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Orv posted:I'm so sorry Zeetoo. MLK bashes Ben Mattock in the left foot with his iron war hammer, fracturing the bone through the large cow leather high boot! Traitor  And wow, my Mino is quite bitey.
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Mar 11, 2012 11:48
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Some awesome fights. Picturing the Dr Stranglelove fight is brutal as all hell
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Mar 11, 2012 12:18
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Forgot about betting. Lost 5 out of the last 6 bets. gently caress it. I'm betting all but 2 on my own Sir Hiss. He's a wreaking machine. Edit: Done. 892 dorfbucks on Sir Hiss. Sir Hiss is smaller than his opponent.
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Mar 12, 2012 19:49
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C'mon people. The odds are 10:1 currently on Sir Hiss. Bet against me, I dont want to win 895 on my bet of 892.
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Mar 13, 2012 13:35
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Spermy Smurf posted:
I'd bet against you if I hadn't already bet my entire dorfbux allotment for the round. 
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Mar 13, 2012 17:46
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Spermy Smurf posted:
Sorry, man. Normally I'd take that action in a heartbeat, but code:
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Mar 13, 2012 18:11
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I had 57 dorfbucks leftover this round, so I laid 'em down, buddy!
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Mar 13, 2012 18:12
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I've been doing terribly this betting round, but you know what? 200 on Mustache Billy. It's practically 2:1 odds right now!
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Mar 13, 2012 20:13
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:24 |
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C'mon boys and girls, it's still about 2:1 odds against me. I want to double my money, not 1.777 my money.
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Mar 15, 2012 13:24
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