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Vintage headlines from 1981:
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May 22, 2012 22:10
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My philosophy major friends have been sharing this non-stop for the past few days.
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May 26, 2012 21:48
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I Tell Ya, Until I've Had My Morning Coffee, I Am Just A Rapist
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May 29, 2012 21:39
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I know this is a page back but, where can I find news print of The Onion?
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May 30, 2012 05:29
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Avocados posted:I know this is a page back but, where can I find news print of The Onion? Chicago
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May 30, 2012 05:55
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Avocados posted:I know this is a page back but, where can I find news print of The Onion? I've seen copies for sale at Barnes & Noble, in the newspaper section.
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May 30, 2012 05:56
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A new "Diamond Joe Biden" story  Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial quote:"There's no better way to pay homage to our fallen brothers than by letting it rip, hitting that ramp at full loving blast, and flying through the sky high above the Vietnam Memorial," said Biden, noting that he also plans to execute a midair salute by placing his fingers around his mouth in a V shape and rapidly flicking his tongue.
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May 30, 2012 06:02
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In Chicago they're free in little dispensers (at least when I was there like 8 years ago). I saw a bunch in Minneapolis, too. They sell book collection versions, too, but I've never seen them individually for sale.
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May 30, 2012 06:04
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Avocados posted:I know this is a page back but, where can I find news print of The Onion? A major metropolitan area.
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May 30, 2012 07:22
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Avocados posted:I know this is a page back but, where can I find news print of The Onion? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#Distribution
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May 30, 2012 08:18
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Reminds me of this story: Failing U.S. Economy No Reason At All To Stop Investing In Print Media, All Experts Agree
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May 30, 2012 09:06
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ultrafilter posted:Another classic: This is the one I wanted to post.
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May 30, 2012 22:00
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Christoph posted:In Chicago they're free in little dispensers (at least when I was there like 8 years ago). I saw a bunch in Minneapolis, too. They sell book collection versions, too, but I've never seen them individually for sale. I can vouch for them being in pretty much any Twin Cities bookstore or coffee shop. There's usually a rack of them by the door or the counter along with the other free magazines.
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May 30, 2012 23:01
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U.S. Ambassador To Bulungi Suspected Of Making Country Up
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Jun 1, 2012 20:46
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These new bits with the angry historian are amazing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV63gFCtEfc
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Jun 2, 2012 00:28
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DarkCrawler posted:This new one is pretty funny: Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc. And Stop Making Movies About My Books by Dr. Seuss (written in Seuss' style) is priceless. Zugzwang has a new favorite as of 14:23 on Jun 2, 2012 |
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Jun 2, 2012 14:20
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Dick Jones posted:Vintage headlines from 1981: I actually had that texas instrument. Man I'm old. love the vintage newspaper, though.
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Jun 4, 2012 21:26
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They work pretty fast sometimes.
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Jun 6, 2012 20:03
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Wrigley Field Supporters Propose Tearing Down Rest Of Chicago The "stand the argument on its head and see that it makes just as much sense" Onion articles are my favorites.
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Jun 7, 2012 14:37
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chrmnbill posted:Wrigley Field Supporters Propose Tearing Down Rest Of Chicago On that note, "Homosexual Tearfully Admits to Being Governor of New Jersey"
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Jun 7, 2012 16:50
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Following Ray Bradbury's Death, Thousands Of People Buy Kindle Version Of Book About Demise Of Paper Books
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Jun 7, 2012 17:55
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Fire hot!
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Jun 8, 2012 09:25
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This is too perfect: Area Man Leaving Father-Daughter Dance With Different Girl Than He Came With
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Jun 8, 2012 18:54
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ultrafilter posted:This is too perfect: Area Man Leaving Father-Daughter Dance With Different Girl Than He Came With I was actually going to use that as an example of something that's been bugging me about The Onion lately. On their sidebar "Newswire" you can't tell what stuff is just headlines and what's a story or even just a blurb.
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Jun 8, 2012 19:17
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The latest American Voices cracks me up High School Seniors Texting While Driving http://www.theonion.com/articles/high-school-seniors-texting-while-driving,28483/
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Jun 9, 2012 13:32
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Robert Denby posted:On that note, "Homosexual Tearfully Admits to Being Governor of New Jersey" Also, "Yankees To Rest Pitching Mound After 8 Innings of CC Sabathia"
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Jun 9, 2012 22:34
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Eggbeater Jesus posted:Also, "Yankees To Rest Pitching Mound After 8 Innings of CC Sabathia" More CC fat jokes! CC Sabathia, Prince Fielder keep imagining each other as Hamburger, Hot Dog (The googly eyes are the best) Boxman has a new favorite as of 00:33 on Jun 10, 2012 |
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Jun 10, 2012 00:31
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Kelmo posted:The latest American Voices cracks me up And this American Voices also has "systems analyst" as one of the professions. How many years have they had that running gag?
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Jun 10, 2012 02:20
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Tony Award Disappoints Parents Even More The picture really makes it.
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Jun 12, 2012 02:25
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Brother Jonathan posted:And this American Voices also has "systems analyst" as one of the professions. How many years have they had that running gag? In the print versions they have six American Voices and one of them is always Systems Analyst.
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Jun 12, 2012 03:09
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Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-spends-most-of-factory-visit-yelling-at-emp,28508/
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Jun 13, 2012 17:38
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Boondock Saint posted:Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder Came here to post this. The article is fantastic. e: Two more! NBA Arrested For Marijuana Possession More And More Athletes Using Social Media To Confirm Every Stereotype Greater Public Had About Them LARGE THE HEAD has a new favorite as of 08:27 on Jun 14, 2012 |
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Jun 14, 2012 08:08
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Alabama School System's Lone Textbook Falling Apart
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Jun 14, 2012 08:32
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I don't know if the website has the TV Highlights section, but it's always loving hilarious. I'll transcribe from the most recent print edition:quote:AMC Roast of Matthew Weiner
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Jun 14, 2012 17:49
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Release Of ‘The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust’ Popularizes Glam Rock, Glam Education, Glam Politics I was enjoying this one, then out of the blue it just skyrockets.
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Jun 14, 2012 18:44
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Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check On Rice Pudding Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate The article's good enough, but the best part is the accompanying video. 'It's Been An Honor, Gentlemen,' Shift Supervisor Says As Giant Vat Of Molten Cheese Erupts One of the best treats is when something you think would only be a headline is actually a story.
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Jun 14, 2012 21:22
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Sad Sack Bullied By Area Goosequote:Additionally, the sheer terror coursing through Jennings is said to have caused him to stumble forward as he fled, resulting in him mashing the ham sandwich he was holding right into his button-down shirt.
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Jun 15, 2012 01:12
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Area Man Goes And Gets Himself Hit By A Goddamn Bus
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Jun 15, 2012 01:24
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You Can Tell Area Bank Used To Be A Pizza Hut
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Jun 15, 2012 04:36
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Goldman Sachs Hires Single Morally Decent Human Being To Work In Separate, Enclosed Cubicle
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Jun 15, 2012 05:41
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