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get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

I'm pretty sure this has been posted before because it's been on TV for a couple of months, but there's a Time Warner Cable commercial out there that starts with "calling all vampire-chasing cooking show fanatics." And it starts out with a Twilight-style vampire instead of the cape-wearing fanged type. I know that talking about what "real vampires" are has become pretty tired, but I can't help but feel a little upset when I see that's what our culture thinks of vampires now.

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SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

I'M FEELING JIMMY

Y-Hat posted:

I'm pretty sure this has been posted before because it's been on TV for a couple of months, but there's a Time Warner Cable commercial out there that starts with "calling all vampire-chasing cooking show fanatics." And it starts out with a Twilight-style vampire instead of the cape-wearing fanged type. I know that talking about what "real vampires" are has become pretty tired, but I can't help but feel a little upset when I see that's what our culture thinks of vampires now.

I don't think it's so much "This is what vampires are now" as much as it is "True Blood airs on a network operated by Time Warner". But I think that'd get on my nerves if I saw it, too.

SpazmasterX
Jul 13, 2006

Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

CapnAndy posted:

Yeah, the ads are remarkably even-handed and basically "good things exist! Do them!", I don't mind them one bit. But I knew the Mormon connection from back when they offered to send you free Bibles (complete with Book of Mormon!), so I know where the there's-something-else-here vibe is coming from.

See, they were a lot more obvious back in the 90s. The subject matter would be pretty much the same, but at the end there would always be the voice over guy with (sing along if you know the words): "A message from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"

Maybe with the advent of the internet, they have to be more subtle to reel you in? :v:

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

SpazmasterX posted:

See, they were a lot more obvious back in the 90s. The subject matter would be pretty much the same, but at the end there would always be the voice over guy with (sing along if you know the words): "A message from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints"

Maybe with the advent of the internet, they have to be more subtle to reel you in? :v:

The fundies call this "circumnavigating the intellect of non-believers."

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


ONE YEAR LATER posted:

I wonder if those types of commercials are as embarrassing to shoot and audition for and act in as they are to watch. I guess a paycheck is a paycheck.

My friends and I were having that exact conversation about a musical that NASA produced.

On one hand, its work. On the other, you performed a song titled Planetary Posse.

Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008

This commerical. Right here.

I don't know what I hate more about it - the fact that someone decided that right next to a pool is the best place for a TV, or that fat little bitch going on about 'the old days of 2008'. It seems to come on every other commercial break, too.


We also have a car dealer here in Austin that uses Austin Powers (Not Mike Myers, just someone in a hideous costume), shouting "DOT COM!" in a horribly fake English accent after the dealer's name. I can't remember their name, otherwise I'd try to dig up the advert. It's bad, trust me.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
Know why this is my new favorite current commercial? Because it doesn't feature awful loud music, and it also doesn't feature lovely CGI.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuNihdGBu8k

Rirse
May 7, 2006

by R. Guyovich
The commercials for That's My Boy plays almost every commercial break these days and it always the exact same joke. Movie looks so bad.

Rousimar Pauladeen
Feb 27, 2007

I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA
The Toyota ads with the creepy recruiting gimmicks just make me cringe as it is a bad commercial and completely scummy.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together
For all yall who hate the Siri commercials

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9eessJx_Ww

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Rirse posted:

The commercials for That's My Boy plays almost every commercial break these days and it always the exact same joke. Movie looks so bad.
At least they spare you the part that the "Boy" in the title was the product of a teacher-student affair, which can't be said about the trailer.

I'm not making that up either. You'd think Sandler would have hit rock bottom with Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson coming out in the same year, but there is no bottom to this pit.

Iprazochrome
Nov 3, 2008

Y-Hat posted:

I'm pretty sure this has been posted before because it's been on TV for a couple of months, but there's a Time Warner Cable commercial out there that starts with "calling all vampire-chasing cooking show fanatics." And it starts out with a Twilight-style vampire instead of the cape-wearing fanged type. I know that talking about what "real vampires" are has become pretty tired, but I can't help but feel a little upset when I see that's what our culture thinks of vampires now.

I like to think that some peasant in Romania in 1897 read Dracula and raged about how Stoker got it all wrong and that real vampires are nothing like that.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Y-Hat posted:

At least they spare you the part that the "Boy" in the title was the product of a teacher-student affair, which can't be said about the trailer.
No no, it's totally okay because the student was a boy and the teacher was young and hot
             /

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

CapnAndy posted:

No no, it's totally okay because the student was a boy and the teacher was young and hot

Yeah I know they won't, but at the beginning of the movie I want Adam Sandler to say "You know you're the result of a rape, right? When I was 14? Why on Earth do you expect me to be a father to you when I was a kid when you were born, plus I never raised you or had anything to do with you because I was raped you loving moron?"

Mister E
Oct 2, 2006

by exmarx

VanSandman posted:

Yeah I know they won't, but at the beginning of the movie I want Adam Sandler to say "You know you're the result of a rape, right? When I was 14? Why on Earth do you expect me to be a father to you when I was a kid when you were born, plus I never raised you or had anything to do with you because I was raped you loving moron?"

But he DID have everything to do with raising him. That's the "joke" of the movie. The mom who raped Sandler went to jail and for reasons unbeknownst to anyone sane, baby Andy Samberg was given to child Adam Sandler.

It's not going to be a good movie.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Mister E posted:

But he DID have everything to do with raising him. That's the "joke" of the movie. The mom who raped Sandler went to jail and for reasons unbeknownst to anyone sane, baby Andy Samberg was given to child Adam Sandler.

It's not going to be a good movie.

Hey look, it's Adam Sandler doing an obnoxious voice. That's new!

I hope this takes out Samberg's career, too.

pwn
May 27, 2004

This Christmas get "Shoes"









:pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn:
Negative Nancies. :colbert:

I mean yeah it's not Citizen Kane, but it looks like it could be a fun way to kill 90 minutes. Then again I've not been subjected to non-stop ads.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

pwn posted:

I mean yeah it's not Citizen Kane, but it looks like it could be a fun way to kill 90 minutes.
In your heart of hearts, I think you already knew that wouldn't be true.

pwn
May 27, 2004

This Christmas get "Shoes"









:pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn:

CapnAndy posted:

In your heart of hearts, I think you already knew that wouldn't be true.
Yeah, 114 minutes, my bad.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



ElwoodCuse posted:

For all yall who hate the Siri commercials

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9eessJx_Ww

Brian Williams peering inside my soul echoing my own opinions.

Rirse
May 7, 2006

by R. Guyovich
Getting tired of the Five Hour Energy drink with the old sheriff going up to people and demanding people drink the poo poo or go to jail.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Rirse posted:

Getting tired of the Five Hour Energy drink with the old sheriff going up to people and demanding people drink the poo poo or go to jail.

It's interesting to watch the Five Hour Energy commercials from the beginning to now, you can see the catchphrases get more and more nebulous as their legal advisers invariably got lawsuit threats over the very specific and provably false "five hours of energy now, no crash later!" claims.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

So uh, Norm McDonald is doing ads for Safe Auto now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEF55fICusQ

I'd like to believe he's just trolling people now, much like the Bob Saget roast.

hunnert car pileup
Oct 28, 2007

the first world was a mistake

FuzzySkinner posted:

So uh, Norm McDonald is doing ads for Safe Auto now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEF55fICusQ

I'd like to believe he's just trolling people now, much like the Bob Saget roast.

Well he did do ads for Hardee's like a decade ago too so...

Lee Harvey Oswald
Mar 17, 2007

by exmarx
I'm getting tired of the Maury Povich looking cowboy in the Five Hour Energy commercials.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWgi0YXmeGQ

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Even though I use the service and like it I find the Gamefly "9 bucks" commercial to be really annoying. Mostly because they're acting like its the clerks at the Gamestop are the ones setting the trade in price.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

FuzzySkinner posted:

So uh, Norm McDonald is doing ads for Safe Auto now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEF55fICusQ

I'd like to believe he's just trolling people now, much like the Bob Saget roast.

I will never not love Norm.

Edit: Holy poo poo there's a bunch of them!

Rhyno fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Jun 17, 2012

ONE YEAR LATER
Apr 13, 2004

Fry old buddy, it's me, Bender!
Oven Wrangler

muscles like this? posted:

Even though I use the service and like it I find the Gamefly "9 bucks" commercial to be really annoying. Mostly because they're acting like its the clerks at the Gamestop are the ones setting the trade in price.

All Gamefly commercials are pretty horrible and when you think about it they're not too kind to their target market, its people acting like idiots and crying and trashing rooms when their electronic game discs turn out to be bad since they couldn't be assed to read reviews and had to rush out to buy the latest release asap.

ElwoodCuse
Jan 11, 2004

we're puttin' the band back together

ONE YEAR LATER posted:

All Gamefly commercials are pretty horrible and when you think about it they're not too kind to their target market, its people acting like idiots and crying and trashing rooms when their electronic game discs turn out to be bad since they couldn't be assed to read reviews and had to rush out to buy the latest release asap.

They also used to have some godawful print ads with a sexy, scantily-clad woman delivering the mail but of course Mr. Nerd Shut-in is more thrilled that she's bringing VIDYA GAMES.

EccoRaven
Aug 15, 2004

there is only one hell:
the one we live in now

ONE YEAR LATER posted:

I wonder if those types of commercials are as embarrassing to shoot and audition for and act in as they are to watch. I guess a paycheck is a paycheck.

It's only a matter of time before they make awful commercials about people getting into awful commercials.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tILDBc5Gs1Y


Meanwhile, the "Above the Influence" commercials make me want to drink.

Bible Ian Black
Jul 16, 2009

I'M THE GUY
WHO SUCKS

PLUS I GOT
DEPRESSION
Why has no one brought up the smug bullshit Gold Bond started airing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NGhJKrmQdE
I don't know if I'm just overreacting to nothing but god I want to punch this douchebag in his stupid smirking face.

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

The Steak Justice posted:

Why has no one brought up the smug bullshit Gold Bond started airing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NGhJKrmQdE
I don't know if I'm just overreacting to nothing but god I want to punch this douchebag in his stupid smirking face.

It's incredibly obvious that they're trying to ape Old Spice and Dos Equis at the same time and create a character who is both interesting and charismatic like the Dos Equis guy, while also having a wacky off the wall absurd feel like Old Spice has. However their marketing department has no idea what makes those commercials work, so they end up missing the target completely, and we end up with this garbage.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


McSpanky posted:

It's interesting to watch the Five Hour Energy commercials from the beginning to now, you can see the catchphrases get more and more nebulous as their legal advisers invariably got lawsuit threats over the very specific and provably false "five hours of energy now, no crash later!" claims.

The funny thing now is that in the commercials they no longer even say that the energy lasts the titular "5 hours." They just say it lasts "hours and hours."

GutBomb
Jun 15, 2005

Dude?
These litter boston tv and they are horrible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf7vL2xlWIM

The mascot (steve, the dude sticking out of the O) has changed in recent commercials to a dennis the menace looking kid, and the latest commercial has the default iphone text message tone in it which makes me think I have a text whenever it comes on.

Bad 3d animation from the 90's: check
constant overstimulation: check
horrible royalty free music: check
obnoxious announcer that won't shut up or breathe: check

Rirse
May 7, 2006

by R. Guyovich
I hate the Vitamin Water (literally their name) ad where some guy is walking down the street and a bunch of outdated memes are playing. What era was this ad made for, 2006?

The Grimace
Sep 18, 2005

Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?
I don't want to believe Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes itself seriously, but all of the commercials and the R rating really make myself scared. I'm not sure I could even enjoy such a stupid premise if it were a joke. I might need to look up some more information on this crap so I can perfectly articulate how stupid I think it is. It's like a fake movie.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






The Grimace posted:

I don't want to believe Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes itself seriously, but all of the commercials and the R rating really make myself scared. I'm not sure I could even enjoy such a stupid premise if it were a joke. I might need to look up some more information on this crap so I can perfectly articulate how stupid I think it is. It's like a fake movie.

My thoughts exactly. I don't know why this bothers me so much and a movie about Elvis and black JFK fighting mummies in a nursing home doesn't, but something about it is almost subconsciously offensive.

Yar The Pirate
Feb 19, 2012

The Grimace posted:

I don't want to believe Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes itself seriously, but all of the commercials and the R rating really make myself scared. I'm not sure I could even enjoy such a stupid premise if it were a joke. I might need to look up some more information on this crap so I can perfectly articulate how stupid I think it is. It's like a fake movie.

I think the fact that Tim Burton is involved means that the movie is most certainly real and will most certainly take itself VERY seriously. That and Johnny Depp is in there somewhere. Oh Tim Burton...:allears:

404GoonNotFound
Aug 6, 2006

The McRib is back!?!?

Yar The Pirate posted:

I think the fact that Tim Burton is involved means that the movie is most certainly real and will most certainly take itself VERY seriously. That and Johnny Depp is in there somewhere. Oh Tim Burton...:allears:

It's the director of Wanted and Night Watch. Burton is as involved in this as Quentin Tarantino was in Jet Li's Hero.

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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

The Grimace posted:

I don't want to believe Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter takes itself seriously, but all of the commercials and the R rating really make myself scared. I'm not sure I could even enjoy such a stupid premise if it were a joke. I might need to look up some more information on this crap so I can perfectly articulate how stupid I think it is. It's like a fake movie.

The newest one they started playing this week with the guy giving a presentation on it has a weird atmosphere. Like they wanted it to be funny but then at the end go "No, this poo poo is serious loving business!"

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