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HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Landmark Gay Rights Cases in US History has its moments.

I keep laughing at Big human being Dave vs. United States

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ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


I don't believe this has been posted yet:
Walking Sports Database Scorns Walking Sci-Fi Database

Cattywampus
Oct 14, 2008

By the time I got to the end of the article, I was laughing pretty hard. I ended up waking up my roommate.

Bored Entertainment Media Decides To Go After Ray Liotta With All They've Got

Cattywampus has a new favorite as of 02:09 on Jul 4, 2012

Farbtoner
May 17, 2011

by Y Kant Ozma Post
New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don't Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Economically Healthy 'Daily Planet' Now Most Unrealistic Part Of Superman Universe

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
My facial expression was :stare: for the whole thing:

Keith Richards' Housekeeper Has Braced Herself For Finding Dead Body Every Morning Since 1976

Tangents
Aug 23, 2008

New Ad Urges Hipsters to Go to Applebees Ironically
I love the CHICKEN STRIP EXPLOSION.

Dr. Bit
Jun 14, 2005
Death Star To Open Day Care Center
http://www.theonion.com/articles/death-star-to-open-day-care-center,19913/

One of my favorites from back in the day. Been looking for it for a while.

Dr Pepper
Feb 4, 2012

Don't like it? well...

Bill Watterson Writes, Illustrates, Shreds New 'Calvin And Hobbes' Strip Each Morning Out Of Spite

This makes me laugh and feel sad at the same time.

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

Oh, this is so good I had to share.

Comic-Con Once Again Marred By Increasingly Popular Bully-Con


A Bully-Con panel discussion featuring three bullying legends.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

I saw this first in college around the time it came out on my Professor's office door. It's easily one of my favorite articles.

New Roommate Hopes Five-Hour Fuckfest Didn't Keep You Up

The Onion posted:

Confessing that the fuckfest had taken a considerable toll on his body, Penderman voiced numerous complaints ranging from aching arms to chafed knees to a sore penis. Penderman went on to explain that the reason his penis was so sore was because it had repeatedly entered and exited a female vagina the night before.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Is this on youtube or something because I saw this on my facebook feed 2 weeks ago and couldn't get the link to work. I googled it and couldn't get the link to work, this link doesn't work. I clicked on it from their website and the link doesn't work. It all just goes to a blank white page.
I wanna see this!

Farquar
Apr 30, 2003

Bjorn you glad I didn't say banana?

Volume posted:

Is this on youtube or something because I saw this on my facebook feed 2 weeks ago and couldn't get the link to work. I googled it and couldn't get the link to work, this link doesn't work. I clicked on it from their website and the link doesn't work. It all just goes to a blank white page.
I wanna see this!

That link works for me. Clear your cache, maybe?

Senior Woodchuck
Aug 29, 2006

When you're lost out there and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home
Daniel Tosh Chuckles Through Own Violent Rape

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
Tea Party Congressman Calls For Tax Breaks To Put Out Raging Wildfire In District

Mad_Lion
Jul 14, 2005

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-antiabortion-pill-kills-mother-leaves-fetus-al,1955/

New 'Anti-Abortion Pill' Kills Mother, Leaves Fetus Alive

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge

The Onion posted:

The complex will reportedly also feature a number of "Scared Straight" talks each week, during which young visitors will simultaneously learn about the dangers of breaking the law, as well as what happens when a male lowland gorilla suddenly feels threatened.

CatchrNdRy
Mar 15, 2005

Receiver of the Rye.
This
http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-gay-best-friend-go-on-another-one-of-their-l,28591/

is basically a nicer version of this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gay-man-unattractive-woman-form-tight-bond,70/

Jerry Manderbilt
May 31, 2012

No matter how much paperwork I process, it never goes away. It only increases.
Creepy Fan In Bleachers Watching You More Than Game

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


HP "On That Cloud Thing That Everyone Else Is Talking About"

Women's Rights?
Nov 16, 2005

Ain't give a damn

Oh god that's fantastic. "And how much space will users have on your cloud?" "One thousand."

Mosquitoes Don't Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

Brother Jonathan
Jun 23, 2008

The newsticker for that clip included "Andy Dick To Play A Drug-Addicted Pervert In New Reality Show." Another kick to the Dick!

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.




This is so good. The guy in the HP Cloud commercial looks familiar but I can't place him.

"We have 4G, 5G, 6G, all the Gs."

New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers'

ModernMajorGeneral
Jun 25, 2010
Oh my god :smith:

'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents

Women's Rights?
Nov 16, 2005

Ain't give a damn

That's just MEAN is what that is :(

voting third party
Sep 5, 2006
~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

This might be the best thing the onion has done yet, the natural ending point of reality tv. Part two is even more awkward.

Farquar
Apr 30, 2003

Bjorn you glad I didn't say banana?

voting third party posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

This might be the best thing the onion has done yet, the natural ending point of reality tv. Part two is even more awkward.

Jesus Christ, these are funny.

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Kevin Youkilis Takes Out Full-Page Ad In 'Juggs' To Thank All The Trim In Boston

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

voting third party posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

This might be the best thing the onion has done yet, the natural ending point of reality tv. Part two is even more awkward.

I came to post this. The Onion's been doing a couple videos of late that are less news-based and more parody of TV and Youtube stuff. Sex House is a favorite of mine already, but it'd be wrong not to appreciate Lake Dredge Appraisal, where part of the video making process I think included recording the video on a fifteen year old VHS that used to have a TV-recorded edit of Star Wars on it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTifcI4A0jM

Cleretic has a new favorite as of 04:34 on Jul 20, 2012

soggybagel
Aug 6, 2006
The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.

Yeah I actually felt sad when I read that.

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

Cleretic posted:

I came to post this. The Onion's been doing a couple videos of late that are less news-based and more parody of TV and Youtube stuff. Sex House is a favorite of mine already, but it'd be wrong not to appreciate Lake Dredge Appraisal, where part of the video making process I think included recording the video on a fifteen year old VHS that used to have a TV-recorded edit of Star Wars on it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTifcI4A0jM

I'm crying.

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Reminds me of this oldie but goodie - Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die.

Millions
Sep 13, 2007

Do you believe in heroes?

voting third party posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

This might be the best thing the onion has done yet, the natural ending point of reality tv. Part two is even more awkward.

I usually skip over the videos The Onion posts, but these are perfect.


"I'm trying to figure out who else in the house is gay so I can have sex with them... but it doesn't seem like anyone is." :smith:

Nouvelle Vague
Feb 16, 2011

Endut! Hoch Hech!
Sex House is hilarious, and we oddly compelling.

"You should probably try to pee."

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug

voting third party posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0App7QizQCU

This might be the best thing the onion has done yet, the natural ending point of reality tv. Part two is even more awkward.

Yeah, this is fantastic. I love the delivery of this quote toward the end of part 1 (~7:44):

quote:

I think the fact that we're getting a stipend to have sex with each other might violate state law.

DarkCrawler
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin
Derek is freaking hilarious.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
As a bears fan, this cut deep because it's so true.
Matt Forte Suffers Career-Ending Contract With Chicago Bears

Edit: And the Onion still refuses to accept that it's ever too soon.

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out

Ride The Gravitron has a new favorite as of 21:44 on Jul 20, 2012

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Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

DarkCrawler posted:

Derek is freaking hilarious.

I was hoping he would get laid with Frank, but I was pleasantly surprised.

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