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Having known some Truthers in my time, this one is masterful: 9/11 Truther Convinced Government Destroyed Past 11 Years Of His Life
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Sep 11, 2012 19:31
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Google's 9/11 Homepage Design Stirs Controversy
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Sep 11, 2012 21:08
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Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World
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Sep 11, 2012 22:03
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Google's 9/11 Homepage Design Stirs Controversy Holy poo poo!
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Sep 11, 2012 22:11
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Oh my loving God 20th Century Fox Green-Lights "United 93 vs Predator" No words, should have sent a poet....
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Sep 11, 2012 23:51
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Mitt Romney Reaches Out To Young Voters With Laser Tag Pizza Partyquote:“Hey, gang, come grab a slice of pizza and play all the games you want!” the 65-year-old candidate shouted while handing out video game tokens and Romney 2012 lick-and-stick tattoos.
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Sep 12, 2012 21:51
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Segmentation Fault posted:Obama's 19-Year-Old Son Makes Rare Appearance At DNC So many people got suckered by this article that it now has a Snopes page: Rising Son.
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Sep 13, 2012 07:08
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I thought of another old timey one: Study: Children of divorce twice as likely to write bad poetry
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Sep 13, 2012 15:48
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DarkCrawler posted:Jesus gently caress Onion "Sources confirmed that the plot was revealed due to newly uncovered FBI intelligence in the form of phone calls and e-mails between al-Qaeda agents intercepted by counterterrorism experts; alerts from the intelligence agencies and governments of Italy, Jordan, the United Kingdom, and Egypt regarding an impending major attack on American soil using hijacked airplanes; testimony from a number of terror suspects under interrogation; an Aug. 6, 2001, presidential briefing titled “Bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S.”; millions of pictures of the burning Twin Towers and subsequent rubble at Ground Zero; hundreds of national news and radio broadcasts; interviews with witnesses and first responders at the scene; countless newspaper articles; candlelight vigils and memorial services around the world for victims of the tragedy; videos of al-Qaeda leaders taking credit for the attacks; the 2006 Oliver Stone film World Trade Center; and thousands of hours of archived footage on YouTube of the planes flying into the buildings. Mueller also cited the 2004 9/11 Commission Report as the agency’s most comprehensive and reliable source of intelligence confirming the likelihood of the attacks."
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Sep 13, 2012 16:10
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Hot on the heels of his appalling display from yesterday - Romney: 'We Should Never Apologize For American Values Or Japanese Internment Camps' The punchline is especially great, since this is exactly what he did when asked how his administration would have handled the attacks: quote:When asked by reporters what American values are exactly, or what the phrase American values even means, Romney stared at the press, blinked several times, and walked off stage.
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Sep 13, 2012 19:53
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Was it Bush 1 that literally said in a speech that he would never apologize for any action by America?
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Sep 13, 2012 20:15
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Was it Bush 1 that literally said in a speech that he would never apologize for any action by America?
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Sep 13, 2012 20:44
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According to Literally Unbelievable, people really seem to be falling for this story.  Obama will never smell dat sit again. EDIT: Also, the 10th episode of Sex House is up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s31fWsk6lMQ Friends Are Evil has a new favorite as of 23:32 on Sep 13, 2012 |
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Sep 13, 2012 23:10
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You're G right? That guy can't be serious, it's like he intentionally hit every single terrible talking point in one sentence.
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Sep 14, 2012 00:01
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 No One Murdered Because Of This Imagequote:WASHINGTON—Following the publication of the image above, in which the most cherished figures from multiple religious faiths were depicted engaging in a lascivious sex act of considerable depravity, no one was murdered, beaten, or had their lives threatened, sources reported Thursday. The image of the Hebrew prophet Moses high-fiving Jesus Christ as both are having their erect penises vigorously masturbated by Ganesha, all while the Hindu deity anally penetrates Buddha with his fist, reportedly went online at 6:45 p.m. EDT, after which not a single bomb threat was made against the organization responsible, nor did the person who created the cartoon go home fearing for his life in any way. Though some members of the Jewish, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist faiths were reportedly offended by the image, sources confirmed that upon seeing it, they simply shook their heads, rolled their eyes, and continued on with their day.
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Sep 14, 2012 00:08
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ultrafilter posted:
Tempting fate there, Onion...
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Sep 14, 2012 00:11
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iamathousandapples posted:Tempting fate there, Onion... That's really not the point at all.
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Sep 14, 2012 00:28
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Was it Bush 1 that literally said in a speech that he would never apologize for any action by America?
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Sep 14, 2012 00:36
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R. Mute posted:"I'll never apologize for the United States of America. Ever. I don't care what the facts are." - George H.W. Bush, after a US warship shot down an Iranian civilian airliner, killing 248. God Bless This U S and A Sent from the top of a giant water slide
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Sep 14, 2012 05:20
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ultrafilter posted:
(I hear Ganesha gives a mean trunkjob)
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Sep 14, 2012 16:56
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Instead of the usual dark Onion stories that get posted, here is an absurd one: New Roomba Blender Makes Smoothie Out Of Everything In Its Path.
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Sep 15, 2012 03:50
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With Romney loving smirking about the deaths at the embassy, this article is less grotesque than actual reality.
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Sep 15, 2012 22:26
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/munchstrosity-created-in-fritolayboratory,29587/
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Sep 17, 2012 17:13
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Admiral Bosch posted:http://www.theonion.com/articles/munchstrosity-created-in-fritolayboratory,29587/ Reminds of a classic video: Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat. Also, Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature. And speaking of , Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High
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Sep 17, 2012 17:34
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Brother Jonathan posted:Reminds of a classic video: Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat.
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Sep 17, 2012 17:52
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Well yeah, but all those make some sort of point. This one is just an absurdist barrage of puns. It's not even satire, it's just gently caress IT, LET'S DO SOME PUNS. And it's glorious.
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Sep 17, 2012 17:56
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Evil Mastermind posted:Given how reality's been outpacing the satirical articles lately, I can't say I blame them. I saw the Santorum "Smart People" comment this weekend, I honestly thought it was a joke headline.
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Sep 17, 2012 18:12
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In a similar vein, Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan
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Sep 17, 2012 19:56
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Newborn Loses Faith in Humanity After Record 6 Days Aaaaaaand we're right back into the darkness.
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Sep 17, 2012 20:10
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Mura posted:Newborn Loses Faith in Humanity After Record 6 Days  " and everyone else is incredibly depressed and cynical and telling him to go gently caress himself.
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Sep 17, 2012 20:49
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I think this was just a headline, because I couldn't click it. "Bundle Of Kale Placed In Fridge Knows How This Will End"
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Sep 17, 2012 20:57
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Mura posted:Newborn Loses Faith in Humanity After Record 6 Days Jesus Christ, that last line is probably the worst (as in horrible) thing they've ever written.
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Sep 17, 2012 20:58
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:There's just one guy on the staff who's like "Come on guys, let's do fun stuff If you listen to the This American Life segment, it sounds like it's actually the opposite. It's just that the depressed cynical guy happens to also be the senior staff writer.
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Sep 17, 2012 20:59
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Mura posted:Newborn Loses Faith in Humanity After Record 6 Days U.S. Populace Lurches Methodically Through The Motions For Yet Another Day The Onion has pretty much always been magnificently dark.
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Sep 17, 2012 21:05
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pangstrom posted:re: NPR show I laugh every time I think of the phrase "Ghost just dropped in to say 'boo!'" and the huge argument it caused: This American Life posted:Ira Glass: But this disagreement wasn't even close to the biggest fight they've all had lately. That fight, I'm told, was over the headline, "Ghost just dropped by to say boo." One group 100% hated it. One group 100% loved it. People raised their voices. One usually mild-mannered editor walked out in protest.
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Sep 17, 2012 21:34
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"U.S Stronger Than Ever, Say Quadragon Officials" is my favorite rejected headline.
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Sep 18, 2012 00:34
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:"U.S Stronger Than Ever, Say Quadragon Officials" is my favorite rejected headline. That wasn't rejected.
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Sep 18, 2012 01:49
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'I Spilled My Soda,' Report Nation's Dopesquote:Thirty-four-year-old Amarillo, TX dope Louis Renaldo told reporters he was concerned about the potentially embarrassing social implications of having spilled his soda. 7-eleven does not exist in Amarillo. I'm beginning to doubt the reliability of this news source. 
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Sep 18, 2012 02:12
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm1U5E44W90 I'm a bit late on this, but I was just catching up on some Week in Reviews I hadn't seen recently and the part about Putin loving slayed me. Oh my god.
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Sep 18, 2012 11:03
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:That wasn't rejected. I believe the rejected one was the version that didn't make it into the 9/11 issue: "Everything is fine," Says Quadragon officials.
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Sep 18, 2012 11:41
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