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Older Brother Playing With Younger Brother On Swing Set Will One Day Con Him Out Of $50,000 Title's a little confusing, but jesus.
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Sep 18, 2012 15:16
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Athenry posted:Older Brother Playing With Younger Brother On Swing Set Will One Day Con Him Out Of $50,000 I loved this article. Then again I'm a big sucker for their predictive articles like "woman who could have been a virtuoso violinist died"
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Sep 18, 2012 15:57
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Athenry posted:Older Brother Playing With Younger Brother On Swing Set Will One Day Con Him Out Of $50,000 Out of all the horrible things The Onion posts, for some reason this was the one that finally broke me. "Whee!" 
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Sep 18, 2012 16:20
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How is the weather consistently the best segment? Scattered Deaths Of Elderly Floridians Expected Throughout The Week
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Sep 18, 2012 17:10
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-an-auctioneer-revealing-he-was-molested-as-a-c,29601/
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Sep 18, 2012 20:55
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Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'
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Sep 18, 2012 22:38
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They have a Mitt Romney section now.
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Sep 19, 2012 02:03
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An older one: Report: 98 Percent Of U.S. Commuters Favor Public Transportation For Others.
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Sep 19, 2012 02:59
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Another Romney gem: Now That My Campaign Is Over, I'd Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day Saints
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Sep 19, 2012 17:52
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NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018
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Sep 19, 2012 18:20
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A modern Romney classic: Romney Stares Uncomprehendingly At $1 Bill
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Sep 19, 2012 18:24
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New Rumsfeld Scholarship Awarded To Student Who Demonstrates Potential To Ignore Geopolitical Consequences Of Armed Invasion
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Sep 19, 2012 19:43
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Zugzwang posted:Another Romney gem: Now That My Campaign Is Over, I'd Like To Talk To You All About The Church Of Latter-Day Saints What leaked video is being referred to here?
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Sep 19, 2012 22:12
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Ariong posted:What leaked video is being referred to here? It's referring to the leaked video from a fundraiser earlier this year.
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Sep 19, 2012 22:37
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Brother Jonathan posted:It's referring to the leaked video from a fundraiser earlier this year. Oh my god. Can you believe those fuckers that think they're entitled to things like "food" and "shelter" and "medical care"? There goes Romney, I guess.
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Sep 19, 2012 23:01
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and the awesome followup: Romney Campaign Sends In Champion Of The Poor Paul Ryan For Damage Control
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Sep 19, 2012 23:55
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New headline: Government-Dependent Southerner Has Brief, Fleeting Thought About Not Voting For Romney, But Nah
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Sep 20, 2012 00:26
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Dr Christmas posted:New headline: Government-Dependent Southerner Has Brief, Fleeting Thought About Not Voting For Romney, But Nah So glad this is just a headline, it's perfect as is.
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Sep 20, 2012 01:39
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Ariong posted:Oh my god. Can you believe those fuckers that think they're entitled to things like "food" and "shelter" and "medical care"? I wish. If anything this just makes his supporters more adamant about voting for him. "He's gonna show those freeloaders what's what!"
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Sep 20, 2012 01:43
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Volume posted:I wish. If anything this just makes his supporters more adamant about voting for him. "He's gonna show those freeloaders what's what!" Romney is not a tool. He is an entire workshop.
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Sep 20, 2012 14:51
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Holy poo poo. Chicago Public Schools Celebrate Fifth Straight Day Without Any Violence. That's... one way to look at the teacher strike, I guess...
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Sep 20, 2012 20:30
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BrooklynBruiser posted:Holy poo poo. Chicago Public Schools Celebrate Fifth Straight Day Without Any Violence. I am really worried that this was going to get a "never mind" edited into it like before.
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Sep 21, 2012 11:47
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And up next in the holy poo poo file: Nick Jr. Suspends Production On 'The Almighty Muhammad's Porkalicious Toon Jihad'
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Sep 21, 2012 15:26
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BrooklynBruiser posted:And up next in the holy poo poo file: Nick Jr. Suspends Production On 'The Almighty Muhammad's Porkalicious Toon Jihad' I hope that Muslim extremists understand satire.
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Sep 21, 2012 16:04
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"Weeee! Muhammed!" 
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Sep 21, 2012 21:27
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BrooklynBruiser posted:And up next in the holy poo poo file: Nick Jr. Suspends Production On 'The Almighty Muhammad's Porkalicious Toon Jihad' No actual cartoon Muhammad? Weak.
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Sep 21, 2012 23:19
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Correctionsquote:
This one hits close to home  Dad Suggests Arriving At Airport 14 Hours Early
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Sep 22, 2012 21:04
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Here's a one for a change: No-Nonsense Mascot Gets Right Down To Business, Hugs Child
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Sep 23, 2012 15:59
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Does anyone else hate the Onion Review videos they do? It seems incredibly lazy and I want more on all the really funny headlines.
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Sep 23, 2012 23:55
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I stopped watching them after the first two or three. If you read the articles you're getting the exact same jokes. Have they changed the format any since it started? Right now, they have a great story up on the Emmys. Be sure to read to the end.
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Sep 24, 2012 02:28
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Volume posted:Corrections
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Sep 24, 2012 03:46
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Robert Denby posted:I stopped watching them after the first two or three. If you read the articles you're getting the exact same jokes. Have they changed the format any since it started? They got a better narrator after about six Week in Reviews, and sometimes they do have additional interviews and such. I thought it quite added to "Coworker With Two Computer Screens Not loving Around".
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Sep 24, 2012 03:53
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I really love this one: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know 'In addition, just because you are sitting next to someone you don’t know on a bus or airplane, that doesn’t give you any right to talk to that person, even if he or she is reading a book you once read. The study goes on to state that talking to an unfamiliar person in a setting where the individual essentially can’t escape the conversation is “one of the cruelest things one human being can do to another human being.”'
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Sep 24, 2012 04:02
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Volume posted:Corrections lidnsya posted:I really love this one: I see The Onion has been using my Dad for material.
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Sep 24, 2012 06:12
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lidnsya posted:I really love this one: Anyway, my contribution - this video's a few years old but quite funny: Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
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Sep 24, 2012 14:14
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That reminds me of Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook.
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Sep 24, 2012 14:28
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U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship
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Sep 24, 2012 15:42
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ultrafilter posted:That reminds me of Interim Apple Chief Under Fire After Unveiling Grotesque New MacBook. Another good one along those lines: New Apple CEO Tim Cook: 'I'm Thinking Printers'
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Sep 24, 2012 15:49
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TV Listings:quote:MythBusters
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Sep 24, 2012 17:01
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I think CNN is desperate for news or just a profoundly lovely news source because the below image has been on their frontpage all week and was even a featured article for a day. This is so similar to something The Onion would do with their Weekender magazine. Here's one they did right after the Jared Lee Loughner shooting; Shooting Suspect Released After Not Breaking Any Arizona Laws.
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Sep 24, 2012 20:14
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