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'I Want To Congratulate The President,' Romney Says In 240,000th And Final Lie Of Campaign
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Nov 7, 2012 12:56
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The GOP frontrunner for 2016.
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Nov 7, 2012 17:45
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New Jersey Residents Avoid Rising Floodwater By Climbing To Top Of Chris Christie There's a small article to go along with it, but the title says it all, really.
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Nov 7, 2012 17:55
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Obama Announces We Are Invading Iran Right Now Not funny Onion. 
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Nov 7, 2012 18:53
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"Hillary Clinton announces she has 'not ruled out' 2016 run. Orb instantly quadruples in size."
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Nov 7, 2012 19:45
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Similarly, This May Not Be The Ideal Moment Politically, But It’s Time To Talk Reparations. And it's already shown up on Literally Unbelievable, no surprise there!
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Nov 7, 2012 19:45
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Ron Paul Elected Ruler of Planet Inhabited By 1 Billion Tiny Ron Paulsquote:The cheers were followed by several minutes of the crowd chanting "Ron, Ron, Ron," the tossing of tiny hats into the air, and 30 minutes of meticulously choreographed spectacle in which thousands of Ron Pauls in color-coded outfits marched, danced, and formed images from the life and career of their new leader. Finally, a parade carried Paul from the city courthouse down Paul Boulevard to the Imperial Palace, the procession joined by countless legions of Ron Pauls and a teeny, tiny 200-piece brass band. This is loving ridiculous and I love it.
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Nov 7, 2012 20:09
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New Onion Talks. Time to finally tell us What is the Biggest Rock. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO0TUI9r-So
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Nov 7, 2012 20:09
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I have to admit, Onion Talks isn't really doing it for me. Maybe it's just because TED Talks is already beyond self-parody or Reggie Watts already did a pitch-perfect pisstake at the actual TED Talks.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdHK_r9RXTc
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Nov 7, 2012 20:24
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The best thing about this election being over is I never need to watch this 7/11 cup commercial again. Except it's still on, for some reason.
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Nov 7, 2012 20:54
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Bored U.S. Postmaster General Creates Beard From Stamps During Meeting. I do enjoy the less serious stuff. e: And a headline: Romney Rewatches First Presidential Debate Alone In Living Room AnoMouse has a new favorite as of 21:11 on Nov 7, 2012 |
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Nov 7, 2012 21:05
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Romney Camp Retooling Campaign After Latest Setbackquote:Calling it “a small bump in the road,” sources within Romney headquarters announced plans Wednesday to readjust their campaign strategy following their candidate’s loss of the 2012 presidential election to Barack Obama. 
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Nov 7, 2012 21:06
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That DICK! posted:The best thing about this election being over is I never need to watch this 7/11 cup commercial again. Except it's still on, for some reason. I would happily pay a membership fee to get rid of ads on that site, christ. Content: Millions Without Power Following Election
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Nov 7, 2012 21:13
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Moments Leading Up To Romney's Concession Most Likely Hilarious I have to admit I'm pretty much the guy they talk about in the article 
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Nov 7, 2012 22:18
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How on earth did they not call it "the Imperial Paulace" in that Ron Paul one? Seems like a real missed opportunity.
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Nov 7, 2012 22:21
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Todd Akin Spends Whole Night Wondering What Went Wrong As usual the closing line is the icing on the cake.
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Nov 8, 2012 00:05
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These election posts from recent articles (that I can find simply by updating the site) tire me! Come bathe in the obscure warming glow that is the mid 90s Onion! Drunken Man Makes Interesting Point About Society Books Don' Take You Anywhere proving the Onion was dark from the very beginning.
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Nov 8, 2012 00:42
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CatchrNdRy posted:Come bathe in the obscure warming glow that is the mid 90s Onion! That's the name of the game? Yes Lyrics to be Added to New Testament Price-Gun-Wielding Maniac Riddles Supermarket With Savings
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Nov 8, 2012 00:49
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Oh my god, that was too perfect. The headlines at the bottom were some of the best I've seen, as well. Meanwhile,  Man Abuses Child Quietly Out Of Respect For Other Diners  Pack Of Harpies Ordered Their Crostini Literally Twenty Minutes Ago And some of my older favorites, with a similar theme: Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation Finest Opera Singer Of Her Generation Unknown By Her Generation
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Nov 8, 2012 00:51
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I think this one is just a headline:quote:Romney Rewatches First Presidential Debate Alone In Living Room
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Nov 8, 2012 01:11
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Nine Drawn and Quartered at Renaissance Fair Chess Prodigy Gives Up Game After Getting Laid
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Nov 8, 2012 01:39
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ultrafilter posted:Nine Drawn and Quartered at Renaissance Fair J.K. Rowling Ends Harry Potter Series After Discovering Boys Clinton Adopts New 'No Fear' Foreign Policy they need to make an updated Affliction one. edit: this one's for you Jerusalem Suicide Letter Full Of Simpsons References CatchrNdRy has a new favorite as of 02:32 on Nov 8, 2012 |
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Nov 8, 2012 02:12
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Exhausted Noam Chomsky Just Going To Try And Enjoy The Day For Once
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Nov 8, 2012 03:06
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They had this gem during the election coverage: Wolf Blitzer Debuts New Real-Time Election Results Beard Speaking of Wolf Blitzer, they also did this a few years ago.
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Nov 8, 2012 05:12
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CatchrNdRy posted:edit: Oh God the picture  
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Nov 8, 2012 06:24
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXfXuk6aWJc [Classified]
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Nov 8, 2012 07:51
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'Knife Fight Rope-a-Dope Strategy Immediately Regretted' http://www.theonion.com/audio/knife-fight-ropeadope-strategy-immediately-regrett,29077/ 'It totally woulda worked, but after 49 stab wounds, he wasn't looking good...'
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Nov 8, 2012 09:50
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Guy Eating Pistachios And Watching 'Sniper' Doesn't Seem To Be Part Of Haunted House Last line kills it.
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Nov 8, 2012 15:58
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So... Uh... Man Googles Matt Damon's Address Because, Well, He’s Crazy And Wants To Murder Him 
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Nov 8, 2012 17:38
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I laughed so hard at the headline "At victory event, Jay-Z forced to make small talk with James Carville for 30 minutes."
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Nov 8, 2012 18:45
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http://www.theonion.com/video/biden-criticized-for-appearing-in-hennessy-ads,14392/ Just saw this one for the first time today. Really looking forward to 4 more years of Diamond Joe and his Trans Am.
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Nov 8, 2012 21:26
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Heavily Armed Karl Rove Spotted At Top Of Electoral College Clock Tower
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Nov 8, 2012 23:43
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Romney Spends Day Tearfully Apologizing At Father's Grave The picture and last line are both incredible.
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Nov 9, 2012 00:34
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So I didn't see three of my favorites. First, the  :A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again Endangered Manatee Struggles To Make Self Understood To Congress 'How Bad For The Environment Can Throwing Away One Plastic Bottle Be?' 30 Million People Wonder More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder FBI To Require Background Checks For Child-Care Providers. Child-Havers Unaffected And the  :Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables Performance Artist Shocks U.S. Out Of Apathetic Stupor Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs. "Oh poo poo", Says Humanity Scientology Losing Ground to New Fictionology Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box Kid Rock Starves To Death. Online Music Piracy Blamed Rahonavis has a new favorite as of 00:53 on Nov 9, 2012 |
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Nov 9, 2012 00:51
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This is one of my favorite articles. And this is my all-time favorite headline.
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Nov 9, 2012 02:49
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Senior Woodchuck posted:This is one of my favorite articles.
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Nov 9, 2012 03:00
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Day Job Officially Becomes Job
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Nov 9, 2012 03:27
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My apologies for spending my last few posts regurgitating the current headlines. Have these to make up for it. Intelligent, Condescending Life Discovered In Distant Galaxy New Study Shows People With Panic Disorders Respond Poorly To Being Locked In Underwater Elevators Teen Who Just Discovered Led Zeppelin Starting To Piss Off Friends 'Midwest' Discovered Between East, West Coasts Oh, but before we start thinking the Onion is just a comedy newspaper; Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years
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Nov 9, 2012 03:34
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Oh my god I've never seen this before, and holy gently caress, I was 100% that kid.
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Nov 9, 2012 16:25
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Just a picture, but the headline says it all. Casual Friday Claims Lives Of 13 Nuclear-Waste-Disposal Technicians
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Nov 9, 2012 18:07
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