Funny Pictures XIII: The chain mails of tomorrow, today!

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djssniper: Jan 10, 2003

BAKA FLOCKA FLAME posted:

The thing for spinning the dog is Bulgarian.

There is now a nationality for spinning things?

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:34

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

drat look what just showed up in mt e-mail today!

quote:

I am Mr.Gogoh Smith,a director in the project and planning committee of the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), I head a seven man Tenders Board Committee in charge of contract award committee and Payment approvals. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account.

There were series of contracts executed by a consortium of Multinationals in the oil industry in favour of the (NNPC) among which were;

1)The expansion of Pipeline network within Nigeria for crude oil and downstream products distribution and subsequent evacuation -US$2 Billion.

2)Contract for Turn Around Maintenance (TAM) of various Refineries in the country.

3)The construction of Storage Tanks for Petroleum Product (Depots)-US$94 Million.

The original value of of these contracts were deliberately over invoiced in the sum of Sixty Five million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars US65,500,000.00) which has recently been approved and now ready to be transferred. However the companies that actually executed the aforementioned contract have been fully paid and the projects officially commissioned.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount into your account for subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants.By the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws)we are prohibited from opening or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Sequel to that, we wish to have the bellow listed information from you to enhance smooth and quick conclusion of this profitable business.

1) Your full name and address
2) Your company's name and address.
3) Your private telephone and fax numbers.
4) The name and address of your Bank for the transfer of the fund
5) Your account number/Swift code and Routing number.
6) Copy of your Identification (International passport/Drivers license)

Needless to say, the trust reposed in you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed among ourselves to offer you 15% of the transferred sum, 5% shall be set aside for any incidental expenses during the course of this transaction, you will then be mandated to revert the balance to us in due course.

You must however NOTE that this transaction is subject to the following terms and conditions; our conviction of your transparent honesty and diligence, that you must accord this transaction with utmost confidentiality and secrecy.

Best Regards.

Mr.Gogoh Smith
(Director P.P.C) NNPC.
Private Line:+234-816-3955488

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:15

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

djssniper posted:

There is now a nationality for spinning things?

It's probably like that ripping off a greased duck's head or whatever, some wacky hyperlocal tradition.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:23

slingshot effect: Sep 28, 2009; the wonderful wizard of welp

Command Ant posted:

MY MOM!

Attack On Titan cosplay is weird as hell.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:23

D C: Jun 20, 2004; 1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING

Command Ant posted:

MY MOM!

Thats a real ham-fisted effort.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:23

MeccaPrime: May 11, 2010

PainterofCrap posted:

drat look what just showed up in mt e-mail today!

Found a picture of Mr. Gogo(h) Smith online!

Seems pretty trustworthy to me!

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:28

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

djssniper posted:

There is now a nationality for spinning things?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJQkdHYkLIQ
Spinning is the national sport of Bulgaria. When the Bulgars descendant upon Europe from the steppes of Central Asia they did so on exercise bikes

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:29

PlantRobot: Feb 13, 2010

Wait, so terrifying a dog doesn't help the crops grow? Let me just put away my vacuum cleaner, then.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:35

xxEightxx: Mar 5, 2010; Oh, it's true. You are Brock Landers!; Salad Prong

PlantRobot posted:

Wait, so terrifying a dog doesn't help the crops grow? Let me just put away my vacuum cleaner then.

No you are supposed to eat the dog.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:39

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

xxEightxx posted:

No you are supposed to eat the dog.

I like how he's flipping the one that is the least browned.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:42

Wet Fifty: Dec 6, 2005; Greetings from the inner-
city, high-humidity, ass
and titty bar.

Ariong posted:

I like how he's flipping the one that is the least browned.

Well yeah. That's what you do. You brown them and then flip them over. You think they brown on the top first?

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:48

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

Wet Fifty posted:

Well yeah. That's what you do. You brown them and then flip them over. You think they brown on the top first?

I was just complimenting his cooking skills, that's all! I can't even make macaroni & maltese.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 00:53

Revener: Aug 25, 2007; by angerbeet

Ariong posted:

I was just complimenting his cooking skills, that's all! I can't even make macaroni & maltese.

It's called Maltese 'n Cheese you culinary cockwit.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 01:05

DrinkMoreBeer: Jan 23, 2006; by toby

FreudianSlippers posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJQkdHYkLIQ
Spinning is the national sport of Bulgaria. When the Bulgars descendant upon Europe from the steppes of Central Asia they did so on exercise bikes

I was so disappointed when the fad of spinning classes had nothing to do with actually spinning.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 01:15

Dooky Dingo: Feb 17, 2011; Gym badge day is a VERY dangerous day!

Command Ant posted:

TETSUOOOOO!!!!

# ? Jun 5, 2013 01:24

Len: Jan 21, 2008; Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!

prefect posted:

It's made entirely from booze boxes? Well done.

I feel the guy should have made it out of Steel Reserve boxes. It's not quite iron but it would have been close.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 02:20

shut up netface: Jun 15, 2008

Baron von Eevl posted:

If it helps explain why the number 4800 at all, I'm almost positive this mural is at 4800 Market st. If nothing else, it is definitely on 48th. I'm pretty sure it's a quasi-religious based abstinence message, too.

It most certainly is. Sup West Philly Goons.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 02:31

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

SpazmasterX posted:

I wonder if a followup with what happened to the possum afterward was ever posted.

It happened in an Australian bakery, so most likely they just picked it up (it was too full to walk and could barely move :3:

) and carried out outside to the nearest tree.

Australian possums aren't the psychotic freaks that US Opossums are.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 03:47

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

It's kind of amusing how the only animals in Australia who are less nasty than anywhere else are the mammals.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:02

muike: Mar 16, 2011; ガチムチ　セブン

Humans are mammals. Goons are humans.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:11

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

xxEightxx posted:

*In Beavis' voice* to the tune of "Breakin' the Law"

"Wokkin' the dog, wokkin' the dog"

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:19

benito: Sep 28, 2004; And I don't blab
any drab gab--
I chatter hep patter

Gorilla Salad posted:

It happened in an Australian bakery, so most likely they just picked it up (it was too full to walk and could barely move ) and carried out outside to the nearest tree.

Australian possums aren't the psychotic freaks that US Opossums are.

I had an experience with an American possum about ten years ago. One of my apartment neighbors went duck hunting, and instead of cleaning the birds, just dumped them in the back parking lot. I went out to walk my dog, and this possum had been feasting on the ducks for some time, leaving a bloody, feathery mess. I didn't let me dog get near the critter, but let him bark at it to scare it off. The possum was completely stuffed, bloated, and could barely waddle away. As it got to the fence, it tried to climb up three times, falling off at each attempt before finally giving up and slouching away, occasionally turning back and hissing at us.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:21

Noni: Jul 8, 2003; ASK ME ABOUT DEFRAUDING GOONS WITH HOT DOGS AND HOW I BANNED EPIC HAMCAT

Small Frozen Thing posted:

It's kind of amusing how the only animals in Australia who are less nasty than anywhere else are the mammals.

Have you never heard of a loving platypus? Those assholes are mammals with venom spurs in their paws. It's like they were blackmailing God back in Genesis and said "I want to be a mammal, but I also want to be a loving snake. But don't put the venom in my mouth because that's idiotic; I want that poo poo in goddamn ice picks attached to my feet so I can just stab at people. And give me electrolocation. And there's no way I want to deal with squirmy births, so let me lay eggs. gently caress it, throw in some of those fancy fish eyes too."

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:25

thatbastardken: Apr 23, 2010; A contract signed by a minor is not binding!

Gorilla Salad posted:

Australian possums aren't the psychotic freaks that US Opossums are.

Say a man who has clearly never had a panicking possum mistake him for a tree.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:31

Zonekeeper: Oct 27, 2007

Noni posted:

Have you never heard of a loving platypus? Those assholes are mammals with venom spurs in their paws. It's like they were blackmailing God back in Genesis and said "I want to be a mammal, but I also want to be a loving snake. But don't put the venom in my mouth because that's idiotic; I want that poo poo in goddamn ice picks attached to my feet so I can just stab at people. And give me electrolocation. And there's no way I want to deal with squirmy births, so let me lay eggs. gently caress it, throw in some of those fancy fish eyes too."

And then you throw all of that poo poo onto an otter's body and complete the look with with a beaver tail and a duck's bill. Voil�, you have the most hosed up animal on the planet.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:32

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Noni posted:

Have you never heard of a loving platypus? Those assholes are mammals with venom spurs in their paws. It's like they were blackmailing God back in Genesis and said "I want to be a mammal, but I also want to be a loving snake. But don't put the venom in my mouth because that's idiotic; I want that poo poo in goddamn ice picks attached to my feet so I can just stab at people. And give me electrolocation. And there's no way I want to deal with squirmy births, so let me lay eggs. gently caress it, throw in some of those fancy fish eyes too."

I also want a duck bill to dig delicious worms out of the banks of rivers, and I want webbed feet to swim better than practically anything else that breathes air.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:33

graybook: Oct 10, 2011; pinya~

Back to content:

A couple years back, Chad Ochocinco had a few pictures taken while shopping and acting goofy.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:35

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:37

TheHistoryChannel: Feb 12, 2008

A platypus would make the perfect murder weapon. I doubt coroners even check for platypus venom.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:40

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

Noni posted:

Have you never heard of a loving platypus? Those assholes are mammals with venom spurs in their paws. It's like they were blackmailing God back in Genesis and said "I want to be a mammal, but I also want to be a loving snake. But don't put the venom in my mouth because that's idiotic; I want that poo poo in goddamn ice picks attached to my feet so I can just stab at people. And give me electrolocation. And there's no way I want to deal with squirmy births, so let me lay eggs. gently caress it, throw in some of those fancy fish eyes too."

I've gotten to go in among the platypuses at a zoo when we went to Australia. They wouldn't let you touch them, because if they did, some idiot would try to pick one up and get jabbed. Other than that, they were mostly shy and wary.
They don't really do the same thing with lions or bears or honey badgers, so I'm gonna have to stand by my "less hardcore mammals" statement.

Also, platypus venom would have a difficult time killing an infant. It hurts like hell, but it's nowhere near fatal.

# ? Jun 5, 2013 04:45

PatrickBateman: Jul 26, 2007

graybook posted:

Back to content:

A couple years back, Chad Ochocinco had a few pictures taken while shopping and acting goofy.

Wifebeaters are loving HILARIOUS

# ? Jun 5, 2013 05:04

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

PatrickBateman posted:

Wifebeaters are loving HILARIOUS

PYF Wifebeaters

# ? Jun 5, 2013 05:07

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

# ? Jun 5, 2013 05:25

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

muike posted:

Humans are mammals. Goons are humans.

This is debatable.

TheHistoryChannel posted:

A platypus would make the perfect murder weapon. I doubt coroners even check for platypus venom.

If I were a detective and I heard there was a platypus in town around the same time a murder took place I'd probably want to bring him in for questioning, if only so I could grill him over how it is he's a mammal but lays eggs.

Darkman Fanpage has a new favorite as of 05:33 on Jun 5, 2013

# ? Jun 5, 2013 05:29