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NEW THREAD FINALLY Disclaimer: I'm in Cambodia right now so this OP probably isn't very good, since I haven't really been following the football news recently. Sorry about that. A quick historical recap of Scotlands football setup: The SPL was formed sometime in the nineties or something and almost straight away everyone (clubs, fans, players) wanted major reform to make it more competitive and interesting. A couple of seasons ago it suddenly got quite interesting very quickly when Rangers went bust and were reformed as The Rangers, in Division 3. Reform of the national football setup briefly threatened to step up a level, until typical Scottish cronyism and laziness got in the way and came to the compromise we find ourselves with today. The compromise is thus: Rather than actually reform the league setup into something which means the average fan doesn't have to go to loving Perth up to three times a season, and rather than do something innovative like spread TV, sponsorship and prize money around a bit, the powers that be decided that the best way to inject new life into the league was to.... change the name. (also the SPL merged with the SFL which is a good thing maybe) Neil Doncaster, SPFL Chief Executive, had this to say: quote:"A mountain of work has been done over the summer to get to this point and I believe there is much more that can be done," Ah, a mountain of work! Well let's see what new and brilliant name they've come up with! How many man-hours have been used over the summer to inject passion into Scottish football? Have they brought in overseas consultants from the four corners of the world? Have the boffins used science and sociology to determine what the people really want? Did they maybe even ask the fans?! quote:The new top-flight will be called the Scottish Premiership, with the old First Division renamed the Scottish Championship. No, they didn't. They just stole Englands names, which were made up on the spot by Coca Cola years ago I'm not sure what to call this new league in shorthand, so I went with Scottish Premiership in the title. We can't even call it The Premiership because that's Englands. For fucks sake, it's a stupid name. Anyway, like last season I will give a round up of the clubs competing in the SCOTPREMSHIP so anyone interested in getting into Scottish football can I will try to make this as hilarious as last season but I did set the bar pretty high so don't expect miracles. It was officially Grievos turn to do the thread but as his club probably doesn't exist when you're reading this (I haven't checked the BBC website for about six minutes so I'm not 100% sure it exists as I'm writing) I have to do it. Aberdeen Who? Aberdeen FC, as reported correctly by myself in the last thread (and wrongly in the one before by someone else), are the most successful Scottish club in Europe, having won two European trophies, one more than the next club to win one. Whoever they are. It doesn't really matter. As this is my team I can tell you that this is the strongest squad we've had in decades and we didn't want James McFadden anyway. This season? Were poo poo last season, as usual. BUT THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT!!! duckmasters league prediction: Look, do you know what? It's a new league so we might as well be optimistic, it's only going to last a season. 1st Celtic Who? Celtic were last seasons surprise winners, having scraped wins against the likes of ICT and Dundee and totally fluking it against Aberdeen. Celtic fans will be looking forward to the mouthwatering prospect of another Celtic vs Barcelona tie in the New Year, when their parents buy them Fifa 2014 for Christmas. This season? Maybe they'll just concentrate on the cups. Maybe. duckmasters league prediction: 2nd Partick Thistle Who? Finally, Glasgows second best team is back in the SPL. Don't really know much about them except when someone in Glasgow asks if you support Celtic or Rangers they're actually trying to find out if you're Catholic or Protestant; the smart answer has always been to reply, "Thistle", so presumably supported by Jews etc. This season? Sure-fire candidates to go down. They just need to not bother playing the first ten games, heh heh heh. duckmasters league prediction: 11th Dundee United Who?A disgraceful bunch of arseholes with a rapist up front. I don't think he was actually convicted but his name is Goodwillie for goodness sake. Good Willy. Or not. This season? They've only got the rapist till Christmas so they won't handle the pace. Top six at a canter, but not much better. duckmasters league prediction: 4th Heart of Midlothian Who? Broke and with a 15 point deduction (administration), they haven't got a chance in hell. Tried to organise a fire-sale of their players at the end of last season to raise some money, but then realised their entire team was poo poo. The good ones had already gone to the Third Division, expect the crap ones to follow shortly. This season? Down. duckmasters league prediction: 12th Hibernian Who? Soon to be Edinburghs premier team, Hibernian are just mini-Celtic. Their main rivals also have no money and won't be in the SPL for some time yet. Their team is pretty crap due to lack of funds; despite selling a few players for multi-million pound sums a few years ago, someone left the light on in the trophy room and Scottish Gas has it all now. This season? Oh, I don't know. Where did they finish last season? I wasn't paying attention. Who cares. duckmasters league prediction: 6th Inverness Caledonian Thistle Who? How the hell are this bunch still in this league. You drive for hours and hours to get there and when you finally arrive you realise you're in Inverness. How do they attract players to play for them? I'm baffled. This season? They keep doing quite well so this is a tough one. Don't think they'll be any match for their closest rivals, the mighty Aberdeen (they aren't our closest rivals, though. Tragic.) so mid table obscurity. duckmasters league prediction: 7th Kilmarnock Who? Squirrels on their crest! Squirrels! The closest thing to Rangers we have left in the SPL. But the squirrels! Did you see the squirrels? There are no squirrels in Ayrshire, unfortunately. The people there live on something like a pound a day and have eaten them all. This season? Unwanted, unloved, rubbish. duckmasters league prediction: 9th Motherwell Who? We didn't want James McFadden. Nobody did. Seriously. we totally did This season? Aberdeens toughest competition. duckmasters league prediction: 3rd Ross County Who? Unbelievably this lot are from north of Inverness. I've never been there, I'm not entirely sure they actually exist. Pretty much the proof that football is all about TV money these days and the six people in Ross County (wherever that is) don't need to buy tickets to support their club. This season? Didn't they do well last season? Maybe. duckmasters league prediction: 10th St Johnstone Who? Another of last seasons surprise over-achievers, this is now completely irrelevant since they're in a new league. Normal service will resume, although it is a bit weird seeing them in Europe. By the time you read this they probably won't be. This season? Normal service has resumed, back to mid table nothingness. duckmasters league prediction: 8th St Mirren Who? St Mirren play in Paisley, just outside Glasgow, which is kind of like visiting Hitlers room in hell. Haven't really done anything interesting lately, and probably won't in the future. This season? Best of the rest? duckmasters league prediction: 7th That's it. LET THE BITCHING COMMENCE.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 12:21 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 08:24 |
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Come on Hibs
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 12:26 |
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euroboy posted:Come on Hibs Don't mind if I do
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 12:36 |
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Love the thread title.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 12:38 |
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Hibs are officially the second force in Scottish Football.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 12:42 |
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Scottish football is like Irish football, but with sectarianism. Also, we know our league is poo poo. Pat Fenlon made a huge mistake.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 13:19 |
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El Patron posted:Love the thread title. Thanks, pretty proud of of this one. Seeing a bit too much hibs love so far.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 13:29 |
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well then time to bring in the yank Celtic love then e: that's me, by the way
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 14:59 |
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Barehanded Brother posted:well then time to bring in the yank Celtic love then
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 15:01 |
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The Dons are gonna tear poo poo up this season.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 20:40 |
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My dad's team is Thistle and I went to a few games last year, that makes me an official Partick expert. So watch out for The Jags I guess.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 20:43 |
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hibs are poo poo
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 20:51 |
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radge posted:Hibs are officially the second force in Scottish Football.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 20:55 |
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SuperHunBastard1690 posted:hibs are poo poo Everything is poo poo
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 20:59 |
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Someone send the Samaritans around to Radges house.
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 21:50 |
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Please don't diss my hometown city in the OP, thanku
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# ? Jul 25, 2013 23:29 |
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You know all those tedious posts where everyone says "Hibs are poo poo". Well you are. St Johnstone are class. What a match. Stuff that in your haggis.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 00:05 |
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Barehanded Brother posted:well then time to bring in the yank Celtic love then I'm sorry, the League of Ireland thread is over there. I'm also a Yank Celtic plastic, but someone had to make the joke. Plus I would have linked the LoI thread but I'm on my phone
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 04:05 |
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Aw yeah I love this quality league, some great franchises. Hibs are poo poo.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 08:38 |
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New Thread hazzah. Also Hibs getting beat 7-0 ahah, the prospect of Hearts being relegated, still no Gers, another team in Glasgow to go watch, and yes Faddy has come home. Good times. Seriously worried this might actually be Aberdeen's year, they have decent manager, also St Johnstone beating Rosenberg could be a tough season to clinch 2nd. Also as usual we sold many a good player, but have made some good signings and Faddy has the quality to single handily replace all Higdons goals. With McManus seems like a potentially great signing and the continuing home coming of Scottish "talent" I imagine the league will be the most exciting tightest race... well from 2nd to 11th place Also the whole England vs Scotland game to get over optimistic then depressed about.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 11:49 |
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The Scotland squad is actually really strong. We've got players from some really massive clubs, like Real Mallorca, Celtic, Liverpool, Blackburn Rovers and, of course, the mighty Unattached. What a kick in the nuts for every Scottish defender on the planet.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 11:57 |
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ally_1986 posted:Also as usual we sold many a good player, but have made some good signings and Faddy has the quality to single handily replace all Higdons goals. Well, we sold a good player, the rest buggered off for free. But we knew that'd happen anyway. At least we got a decent bit of cash for Ojamma, and it looks like we're signing that other Estonian on loan who'll hopefully surprise us just like Henrik did. Quite happy with the replacements McCall has signed, especially Faddy and McManus. Just a shame we won't be able to get another pacey winger that we really need to replace Humphrey, at least that's what Kenny Black has said. The trip to Krosnador is costing a fortune for the club. At least we probably won't gently caress up as badly as Hibs.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 13:01 |
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I always hoped McManus would come back to Celtic. He's the reason I became a Celtic fan in the first place, after my genealogically inclined granddad found out he's a not-so-distant relative. I even still have the old green and black away replica with his name emblazoned on the back. Now I have to consider supporting Motherwell but I'm not sure if they're Catholic enough
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 14:41 |
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Barehanded Brother posted:I always hoped McManus would come back to Celtic. He's the reason I became a Celtic fan in the first place, after my genealogically inclined granddad found out he's a not-so-distant relative. I even still have the old green and black away replica with his name emblazoned on the back. West of Scotland team that aren't Rangers. They are all dirty Catholics.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 16:26 |
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SuperHunBastard1690 posted:West of Scotland team that aren't Rangers. They are all dirty Catholics. West of Scotland teams that aren't Celtic are all dirty prods. These are both facts.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 16:27 |
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SuperHunBastard1690 posted:hibs are poo poo I saw that result and thought gently caress that's a bad aggregate score, then I read the match report Here's hoping St Johnstone & Motherwell can make the group stages.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 17:25 |
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Hibs lost 7-0 in a real match. Wow thats an rear end knocking. Seems like they're a horrible team.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 17:27 |
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Barehanded Brother posted:I always hoped McManus would come back to Celtic. He's the reason I became a Celtic fan in the first place, after my genealogically inclined granddad found out he's a not-so-distant relative. I even still have the old green and black away replica with his name emblazoned on the back. Always sends a shiver up my spine when I think back to that defensive pairing of Caldwell and McManus... Anyhoo, nice to see some new yankee Tims posting on the thread, generally this thread only attracts new posters during the pre season and early days before it whittles down to the same 7 or 8 cunts posting every other week.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 17:30 |
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El Patron posted:Always sends a shiver up my spine when I think back to that defensive pairing of Caldwell and McManus... Funnily enough L.A Noire had a detective pairing of Caldwell and McManus, must have been the work of a time. Got a chuckle out of me. Not such a good CB partnership though, even if it sounds weird saying that about a team who won 3 in a row and done pretty good in Europe.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 18:47 |
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Her Dryer posted:Funnily enough L.A Noire had a detective pairing of Caldwell and McManus, must have been the work of a time. Got a chuckle out of me. I still have nightmares about Thierry Henry owning Caldwell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az9Ef9IyiN4
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 20:06 |
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McManus and Caldwell were slightly above average when they had a solid holding midfielder in front of them. And utter poo poo when they didn't.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 20:14 |
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jre posted:I still have nightmares about Thierry Henry owning Caldwell All that video did was remind me how much I miss the two ballboys on their little plastic stools behind the goals at Parkhead, going mental after goals with the full knowledge that they're on TV.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 22:31 |
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Just watched the Dons paste Twente 2-0 - great night. I think the Dutchmen were unnerved by the patrol of the gullwaffe that flew a circuit round the stadium from 50 minutes onwards.
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# ? Jul 26, 2013 23:58 |
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Chas McGill posted:Just watched the Dons paste Twente 2-0 - great night. I think the Dutchmen were unnerved by the patrol of the gullwaffe that flew a circuit round the stadium from 50 minutes onwards. GIve us a shout next time for god's sake, I was meant to go but my mate cancelled on me so I ended up in the Bobbin following the match on my phone. Is Pawlett actually becoming good? I was surprised at the scoreline given the lineup we went in with. Bonus points were seeing drunk Twente fans leaving the Pittodrie bar and hobbling down King's street with their shirts off.
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# ? Jul 27, 2013 15:34 |
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Ahahahah thank you Heart of Midlothian - after a weekend of moping about Hibs European capitulation, they remind me that it could be worse. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23491885
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# ? Jul 29, 2013 12:45 |
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Actually being green poo poo and losing 7-0 is worse imo. Hibs are poo poo.
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# ? Jul 29, 2013 19:33 |
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Dunfermline have managed to secure a CVA, possibly going to end up fan owned. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23494323
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# ? Jul 30, 2013 15:54 |
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Coohoolin posted:GIve us a shout next time for god's sake, I was meant to go but my mate cancelled on me so I ended up in the Bobbin following the match on my phone. Is Pawlett actually becoming good? I was surprised at the scoreline given the lineup we went in with. Bonus points were seeing drunk Twente fans leaving the Pittodrie bar and hobbling down King's street with their shirts off.
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# ? Jul 30, 2013 21:54 |
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jre posted:Dunfermline have managed to secure a CVA, possibly going to end up fan owned. they get to keep their history! same company, no liquidation! well done dunfermline!
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# ? Jul 30, 2013 22:09 |
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# ? Apr 18, 2024 08:24 |
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Chas or duckmaster fancy a trup to pittodrie the morn?
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# ? Aug 2, 2013 21:01 |