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Hand Knit
Oct 24, 2005

Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..
Are you so sure about your hockey insight that you're willing to put your money (or dignity) on the line? Do you have no faith in your opinion but want to gamble for the hell of it? Well, this is the thread you're looking for. You can either toxx yourself for some event or achievement this year or bet against another poster. Forums poster The Prisoner has led the way, placing this wager on Scott Gomez:

The Prisoner posted:

If Scott Gomez doesn't hit 40 points total for the 2013-14 season I'd be more than happy to change my username and avatar to a Scott Gomez joke of your choosing.

So go ahead and have some fun. Bet your avatar against the Leafs making the playoffs. Offer to pay $1 to charity for every minute Paul Bissonnette plays this season. Promise to buy the jersey of whichever of Teemu or Jagr scores more goals this year. I'll record your bets and check back at the end of the season.*

*I reserve the right to put the kibosh on anything too gimmicky/disruptive.

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Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe
Crosby is gonna score 120 or more points and if he doesn't I'll buy an avatar of SAS' choosing and wear it until the start of next season.

Reince Penis
Nov 15, 2007

by R. Guyovich
David Desharnais will be playing for another team before the playoffs start.

If I'm wrong, I'll keep the same username but get an avatar of Wayne Simmonds.

Rutkowski
Apr 28, 2008

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
Phoenix will make the playoffs or I'll cheer for a Canadian team in the playoffs in the order of my dislike for them.

Order is:

Toronto
Edmonton
Calgary
Vancouver
Montreal
Winnipeg
Ottawa

So if Edmonton and Winnipeg makes it, it's Edmonton.

So yeah, I'll either wear a Phoenix or Vancouver avatar this postseason. Possibly a Montreal avatar but that wouldn't be THAT much of a punishment for me.

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

David Desharnais will be playing for another team before the playoffs start.

If I'm wrong, I'll keep the same username but get an avatar of Wayne Simmonds.

I think if this is the case you should change your name to loving DESHARNAIS

CDX
Dec 3, 2004

Cheap, but not as cheap as your girlfriend.

PK loving SUBBAN posted:

David Desharnais will be playing for another team before the playoffs start.

If I'm wrong, I'll keep the same username but get an avatar of Wayne Simmonds.

drat I was thinking about this one.

Reverend Sub-Zero
Jan 11, 2008

Filladelfia Pliers
The Philadelphia Flyers will be in the playoffs. If they are not I will cheer for the Penguins or the Rangers until they are eliminated from playoff contention. An avatar will be purchased as well as a Jersey t-shirt.

Deus Ex Macklemore
Jul 2, 2004


Zelensky's Zealots
If the Pens don't win the Stanley Cup I will change my username and avatar to something reflecting whoever does win and will not post any pro-Penguins items during the entire offseason.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.
I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

1. Tay Tay will finish top-5 in points
2. Clarkson will score 15 goals or less
3. Columbus will make the playoffs
4. Victor Hedman will receive at least one vote for the Norris
5. Tavares will score 50 goals
6. Philadelphia will be a bottom-5 team in the league
7. Fowler will rebound and score 30+ points
8. Franson will manage to put up 30+ points
9. Edmonton will continue improving, and will only miss the playoffs by five points (if they make the playoffs, this prediction is still a success)
10. Sidney Crosby will play over 75 games, and manage to replicate similar PPG totals as his previous three seasons, so will score at least 115 points.

All of these are just doubling down on predictions I have made in other threads. I haven't figured out the proper toxx yet. Probably just an avatar change.

FUCK COREY PERRY
Apr 19, 2008



If Corey Perry isn't a massive doucebag and records under 50 PIM this season I will change my username to COREY PERRY IS OK.

Hand Knit
Oct 24, 2005

Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Twin Cinema posted:

I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

This is a good idea. I like it.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

Hand Knit posted:

This is a good idea. I like it.

Thank you. Thank you.

I figured that I'd back up things I have said over the past few months with a toxx. I just couldn't figure out a way of putting something about Bogosian in there, because I don't think "will be a top-20 defenseman" can be measured objectively.

a false
Mar 5, 2009

I DECIDE
WHO LIVES
AND WHO DIES

Twin Cinema posted:

I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

wait do you mean if less than half of them DO happen

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

a false posted:

wait do you mean if less than half of them DO happen

If five or more of my predictions are correct, the toxx will not come into effect.

Now you are confusing me even more. I have re-read my sentence ten times since you posted and my head is spinning.

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
If the Flyers miss the playoffs I'll get an avatar praising Sidney Crosby and keep it until the start of the 2013-14 season.

thehustler
Apr 17, 2004

I am very curious about this little crescendo

Twin Cinema posted:

I am going to make ten predictions, and the toxx clause will come into effect if less than half of these do not happen.

You should make this like a proper accumulator bet and have the toxx happen if the whole set of 10 doesn't come off.

Or are you chicken? :)

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

thehustler posted:

You should make this like a proper accumulator bet and have the toxx happen if the whole set of 10 doesn't come off.

Or are you chicken? :)

Are you suggesting different degrees of toxx, each one getting progressively worse, depending on how many I get wrong?

Dak02
Nov 23, 2003

SPARE SOME CHANGE??

gently caress COREY PERRY posted:

If Corey Perry isn't a massive doucebag and records under 50 PIM this season I will change my username to COREY PERRY IS OK.

This is probably the safest Toxx in the thread.. I'd say bump it to 70-80 pim... (He had 72pim in 44 last season)

Hand Knit
Oct 24, 2005

Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Twin Cinema posted:

If five or more of my predictions are correct, the toxx will not come into effect.

Now you are confusing me even more. I have re-read my sentence ten times since you posted and my head is spinning.

I understand what you intended and I understand that you intended that I understand what you intended, so we're good.

bub spank
Feb 1, 2005

the THRILL
Since I like the idea of multiple predictions, so I'm doing it too. If 5 or more of the following predictions are incorrect, I will get an avatar of SAS' choosing.

1. Erik Karlsson will finish in the top 3 for Norris voting.
2. Bobby Ryan will score at least 35 goals.
3. Clarke MacArthur will outscore David Clarkson.
4. Spezza will finish top-10 in scoring.
5. Ottawa will finish ahead of Detroit.
6. Winnipeg will finish 4th or higher in the Central division.
7. Yakupov will score at least 30 goals.
8. Canada will not make the 2014 Olympic men's hockey finals.
9. Taylor Hall will outscore John Tavares (gonna hedge this bet by saying in points-per-game, not total points).
10. Toronto and Anaheim will miss the playoffs.

If any of those seem too easy, let me know and I can swap the offending prediction to something else.

e: Removed 11th prediction, changed it to 5 or more wrong

bub spank fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Dec 2, 2013

HOW COULD YOU
Jun 1, 2006

The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.
If detroit is leading the atlantic division by 2 or more points or is leading/tied for leading the eastern conference at christmas time, I'll change my avatar to something along the lines of "western conference supremacy/west coast best coast".

FUCK COREY PERRY
Apr 19, 2008



Dak02 posted:

This is probably the safest Toxx in the thread.. I'd say bump it to 70-80 pim... (He had 72pim in 44 last season)

Hmm I actually thought his PIM was generally lower than it apparently has been. I'm changing mine to if he gets more points than PIM the toxx kicks in.

e: I just realized he has literally never even done that. Just to make it a little more risky for me then, part of this toxx is me assigning some pro-Corey Perry avatars to random SAS NHL posters.

FUCK COREY PERRY fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Aug 18, 2013

Grebo
Mar 29, 2012

2015-2016
2016-2017
2017-2018
2018-2019

BRUINS DEFENSE
If Penguins win the cup I'll get an avatar saying I love Sidney Crosby with a picture of him.



Dear hockeygods: Please don't let Pens win the cup. Please please please :pray:

Rene Rancourt
Mar 26, 2007

Was my contract good for you, too?

Twin Cinema posted:

10. Sidney Crosby will play over 75 games, and manage to replicate similar PPG totals as his previous three seasons, so will score at least 115 points.

I'll toxx myself on the under of this:
If Sidney Crosby plays over 72 games (edit: during the regular season) I will change my forum name to whatever flyinglemur or Vigilance chooses.

Separate toxx:
If Toronto makes it further than Montreal in the playoffs I will change my avatar to whatever Twin Cinema or Paulocaust chooses.

Both have to be acceptable by the forum rules, I'm not changing my name to something racist and/or changing my avatar into a penis. I'll keep whatever changes happen until the playoffs of the following season.

Rene Rancourt fucked around with this message at 15:09 on Aug 18, 2013

Shawn Cotureier
Jan 21, 2009

Still better than Umberger
If at least one of the below does not happen, I will purchase an avatar and subtext of SAS choosing until the start of next season. It doesn't even have to be sports related.

1. Toronto will make it past the first round of the playoffs
2. No Flyers player will score more than 75 points.
3. The winner of this year's Hart Trophy will be player that has never won the award before.
4. Canada will NOT win the gold medal in the Olympics.
5. Columbus makes the playoffs.

The avatar and subtext will have to be forum appropriate.

EDIT: Screw it, let's add some more

Shawn Cotureier fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Aug 18, 2013

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

burf posted:

Since I like the idea of multiple predictions, so I'm doing it too. If 6 or more of the following predictions are incorrect, I will get some kind of anti-Sens avatar.

1. Karlsson will be in the top 3 for Norris voting.
2. Bobby Ryan will score at least 35 goals.
3. Clarke MacArthur will outscore David Clarkson.
4. Spezza will finish top-10 in scoring.
5. Ottawa will finish ahead of Detroit.
6. Winnipeg will finish 4th or higher in the Central division.
7. Yakupov will score at least 30 goals.
8. Canada will not make the 2014 Olympic men's hockey finals.
9. Taylor Hall will outscore John Tavares (gonna hedge this bet by saying in points-per-game, not total points).
10. Toronto and Anaheim will miss the playoffs.
11. (I haven't decided yet but it makes more sense to me to have an odd number of predictions)

If any of those seem too easy, let me know and I can swap the offending prediction to something else.

The Karlsson one is too easy, since he's already a preseason favourite. At least the Spezza one, which also has a high probability of happening, is contingent on him staying healthy, which has been a major issue for him in years past.

Shoeonhead22 posted:

I'll toxx myself on the under of this:
If Sidney Crosby plays over 72 games (edit: during the regular season) I will change my forum name to whatever flyinglemur or Vigilance chooses.

Separate toxx:
If Toronto makes it further than Montreal in the playoffs I will change my avatar to whatever Twin Cinema or Paulocaust chooses.

Both have to be acceptable by the forum rules, I'm not changing my name to something racist and/or changing my avatar into a penis. I'll keep whatever changes happen until the playoffs of the following season.

I really don't think I will get to change your avatar :(

Rene Rancourt
Mar 26, 2007

Was my contract good for you, too?

Twin Cinema posted:

The Karlsson one is too easy, since he's already a preseason favourite. At least the Spezza one, which also has a high probability of happening, is contingent on him staying healthy, which has been a major issue for him in years past.


I really don't think I will get to change your avatar :(

With Nazem "The Dream" Kadri and all those Stanley Cup rings in the roster, the Leafs could be a serious 2014 cup threat!

Scott Gomez avatar until the day I die

LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

"Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS
There's not a whole lot I can do since I don't believe my Avs will do very well anyway, and I like my avatar too much to change it. But in the spirit of things...

I predict the Avs will finish higher than the Calgary Flames. If they do not, I will take every point the Flames beat the Avs, multiply it by 10, and donate the amount to a charity of the collective SAS hive mind's choice, with a cap of 200 bucks (Hey, I'm kind of broke as it is). If the Avs finish ahead of the Flames, I will donate the amount of points they are from the last team in the west, times ten, to the charity, again, a 200 cap.

If that's complicated, here's an example;

Avalanche: 77 pts
Flames: 90 pts
Difference of 13 points, times ten, 130 dollars donated to charity.

Or:

Bottom of the west: 55 pts
Avalanche: 70 pts
Difference of 15 points, times ten, 150 dollars donated.

A minimum of 50 dollars will be donated just in case they end up tied, or something.

Any suggestions for a charity? I was thinking Ability Connections of Colorado or something similar. I know it's not a lot, but I figure it gets some cash to the people who need it. v:shobon:v

LumpyGumby fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Aug 18, 2013

The Golden Man
Aug 4, 2007

If the Oilers finish in the playoffs or within five points of a playoff spot I will never post on something awful forums ever again.

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


Wayne Gretzky posted:

If the Oilers finish in the playoffs or within five points of a playoff spot I will never post on something awful forums ever again.

Nooooo!!! Turn left, Wayne Gretzky, nooo!!!

its a pretty sound prediction regardless

The Golden Man
Aug 4, 2007

I'll be fine

HELLO LADIES
Feb 15, 2008
:3 -$5 :3

LumpyGumby posted:

There's not a whole lot I can do since I don't believe my Avs will do very well anyway

There has been a serious, serious lack of Patrick Roy-based toxxes so far. Seriously, it is literally the #1 thing I am excited for in this coming season, but it seems like no one else in SAS even remembers that it's going to be a thing.

Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




If the Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup I will get a giant red-text 'tar that is a phonetic version of the chorus of Chelsea Dagger, and keep it until the start of the 2014-5 season.

LumpyGumby
Feb 22, 2012

"Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS

HELLO LADIES posted:

There has been a serious, serious lack of Patrick Roy-based toxxes so far. Seriously, it is literally the #1 thing I am excited for in this coming season, but it seems like no one else in SAS even remembers that it's going to be a thing.

I thought about it, but I wasn't sure what to use, Roy related. I was thinking something with media outbursts but even that's iffey. Happily take any suggestions though.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

Shoeonhead22 posted:

With Nazem "The Dream" Kadri and all those Stanley Cup rings in the roster, the Leafs could be a serious 2014 cup threat!

Scott Gomez avatar until the day I die

You shouldn't fakepost like that. It's mean.


Wayne Gretzky posted:

If the Oilers finish in the playoffs or within five points of a playoff spot I will never post on something awful forums ever again.

No, Mr. Gretzky. This runs counter to my prediction!

The Golden Man
Aug 4, 2007

Twin Cinema posted:

You shouldn't fakepost like that. It's mean.


No, Mr. Gretzky. This runs counter to my prediction!

Your predictions are out to lunch dim bulb!

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

LumpyGumby posted:

I thought about it, but I wasn't sure what to use, Roy related. I was thinking something with media outbursts but even that's iffey. Happily take any suggestions though.

If Roy threatens to fight someone and does you must buy a Red Wings tshirt and wear it, if it happens at the Lidstrom retirement game then it has to be a jersey.

Twin Cinema
Jun 1, 2006



Playoffs are no big deal,
don't have a crap attack.

Wayne Gretzky posted:

Your predictions are out to lunch dim bulb!

What happened, Wayne? I thought we were buds.

I am just into Dubnyk and Tay Tay and that top-6 and will let things like "being terrible" not get in the way of my expert predictions.

Deus Ex Macklemore
Jul 2, 2004


Zelensky's Zealots

Shoeonhead22 posted:

I'll toxx myself on the under of this:
If Sidney Crosby plays over 72 games (edit: during the regular season) I will change my forum name to whatever flyinglemur or Vigilance chooses.

Separate toxx:
If Toronto makes it further than Montreal in the playoffs I will change my avatar to whatever Twin Cinema or Paulocaust chooses.

Both have to be acceptable by the forum rules, I'm not changing my name to something racist and/or changing my avatar into a penis. I'll keep whatever changes happen until the playoffs of the following season.

Wait, how is the avatar you have now NOT a penis?

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The Golden Man
Aug 4, 2007

Twin Cinema posted:

What happened, Wayne? I thought we were buds.

I am just into Dubnyk and Tay Tay and that top-6 and will let things like "being terrible" not get in the way of my expert predictions.

Tay Tay is just one man! He can only do so much!

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