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Barehanded Brother
Feb 12, 2007

When you have a Hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Old, dead thread here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3444913 (archives required), if you don't want to be spoiled on things that happened in Seasons 1 and 2 go read that one I guess?



ABC's Sunday Night attempt to capture the non-NFL-watching demographic is back (and better? than ever?!) for Season Three! Clearly, it's not working all that well since the guy with the Atlanta Falcons avatar is making this thread the day after they got their heart ripped out by the Patriots like a victim of the Evil Queen, but the old Once Upon a Time thread is the only reason I came into TVIV, and it died, so here we are.

What The Hell Is Going On?

Imagine you were a child with a toybox full of Disney fairy tale figurines, and you spent your days playing with them, creating gritty and inventive backstories for them, setting up flimsy pretexts for why they're interacting with each other, ignoring what continuity doesn't suit you, and having most of them chase around an 11-year-old MacGuffin who is just as insufferable as a real-life 11-year-old but whom they all inexplicably love/need/have a twisted desire to manipulate. Now imagine that you were an adult, you were fresh off doing whatever the hell you did for Lost, and that Disney gave you a borderline hilarious CGI budget and said, "Hey, go film what you had your figurines doing, except with live people." That's what this show is.

No seriously what the hell is this, some kind of freak show?

Jeez you weren't kidding. The plot and character relationships of this show are pretty complicated for a first-time watcher, but if you're just starting with Season 3, here is some synopsis for you:

Season 1, we were introduced to Snow White marrying Prince Charming and about to live Happily Ever After in the Enchanted Forest. Instead, the Evil Queen cast a curse on them that took over the Enchanted Forest, sending everyone to a world without magic and no memory of who they were. That world? Why, ours of course, in a quaint fictional town called Storybrooke, Maine, where time stands still. Snow and Charming, before the curse hits, lock their infant daughter in a magic wardrobe so that she can break the curse when she gets old enough. That little girl grows up to be Emma Swan, a tough, no-nonsense bounty hunter with a checkered past, a keen eye for liars, and a son she gave up for adoption 10 years ago. In a convenient twist, her son, Henry, was adopted by the Evil Queen in Storybrooke and starts to realize that his entire town are fairy tale characters. So he tracks his birth mother down, brings her back, and she goes to work breaking the curse.

In Season 2, the curse has been broken and the townsfolk have their memories back, but no way to return to the Enchanted Forest. Alliances between erstwhile enemies are brokered and broken as competing agendas keep families apart, villains are redeemed and redamned (occasionally in the same episode), and one-off portals between worlds start to form to further the plot and keep things from ending Happily Ever After for anyone. At the conclusion of Season 2, Henry has been taken to Neverland by two plot devices who hate magic and want it destroyed, and the main characters follow in hot pursuit in Captain Hook's ship. Except for Emma's deadbeat-ish boyfriend and Henry's dad, who gets shot and tossed in a portal to the Enchanted Forest.

That sounds confusing.

It is, and I've left out a lot of the melodrama and minor characters. But I'm not here to hold your hand and explain EVERYTHING to you, because that would take a while and it might confuse you more. Suffice it to say it involves dwarves, the Mad Hatter, fairy dust, Lost-style backstory expositions, deaths in most of the families, magic beans, lots of heart out-ripping, and Hurley makes a cameo as a friendly giant.

Fine, so who are the people I should care about?

Great question. Here's a convenient list of characters introduced in Seasons 1 and 2 who have appeared so far in Season 3 and major things about them that I can remember off the top of my head and/or lifted from Wikipedia.

  • Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison) - The plucky protagonist of our show, mother of Henry, who goes from "I can't be a mother" to "Everything I do I do for my son!" :black101: in pretty much the first 3 episodes. Daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, which makes things a little weird since she's 28 and for the 28 years of the curse, her parents didn't age.

  • Henry Mills (Jared S. Gilmore) - Emma's son and the constant bone of contention between Emma and Regina. A true believer in magic, fairy tales, and The Power Of Good, he is very annoying when he opens his mouth and gets into a lot of scrapes that adults who care about him have to bail him out of.

  • Regina Mills (Lana Parrilla) - Henry's adoptive mother and Mayor of Storybrooke as well as the Evil Queen back in the Enchanted Forest. Has a huge chip on her shoulder because her overbearing mother killed the stable boy she loved because Snow White as a little girl couldn't keep her stupid mouth shut. Genuinely loves Henry but is super weird about it, probably stemming from her childhood. Has been given more second chances than I could possibly count.

  • Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) - Emma's mother and probably where Henry gets his innate "The Power Of Good Overcomes Everything" philosophy from, albeit indirectly/genetically/magically. Impossibly optimistic most of the time, super-sweet and forgiving, and a murderer. Go figure.

  • Prince Charming (Josh Dallas) - Emma's father and a paragon of manly virtue and all that jazz. Not all that bright, but well-intentioned and mostly competent at doing what he's doing, whether that's the best thing or not. If this were another show, he'd be the main character but instead is (subversively?) a sideline player for the most part while the emotional core of the show is driven by the three female leads.

  • Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle) - Cowardly evil personified, he tends to solve problems with magic, inflexible contracts, and ruthless cunning. His only weaknesses are for love for his son (sometimes) and Belle (Emilie de Ravin), for both of whom he has trouble letting go of his true love, magic. Also known as The Dark One for, well, being The Dark One.

  • Captain Hook (Colin O'Donoghue) - A handsome pirate who worked with Regina, then Regina's mother (super evil, killed by Snow White in a moment of :smithuggh:), and now Emma and her crew. A true mercenary with a cockroach-like ability to survive while not having a magical bone in his body. Looks like a more handsome Irish version of Aaron Rodgers in what I'm assuming was a way to trick casual NFL viewers.

  • Baelfire/Neal (Michael Raymond-James) - Rumplestiltskin's son and Henry's father, he slipped into a portal to "a world without magic" that his dad was supposed to come with him to (but didn't in a moment of supreme dickish cowardice), got sidelined in Neverland for a while, and then somehow made it to our world where he hooked up with Emma, fathered Henry, and then bailed on her so she could "fulfill her destiny and destroy the curse". Is currently back in love with Emma.

  • Princess Aurora (Sarah Bolger) - Better known to fairytale readers as Sleeping Beauty, she meets Snow and Emma after they get pulled through a portal back to the Enchanted Forest while they were trying to dispose of a soul-killing plot device. Has visited some kind of shadow-realm purgatory in her dreams that connects between worlds and has talked to Henry that way.

  • Prince Phillip (Julian Morris) - Princess Aurora's True LoveTM, mostly a pretty face and a plot device so far. Not sure if he has a personality.

  • Mulan (Jamie Chung) - Bodyguard to Princess Aurora, is very honorable and a good swordswoman, and has other qualities that I'm forgetting about at the moment. I think she had a crush on Phillip or something but that went away(?). Doesn't know what "movies" are.

So what's happening this season?

I don't know really. I just caught the first episode of Season 3 during my lunchbreak on Hulu. What I do know is that in that episode, we didn't go to Storybrooke at all, so all of the characters still there are presumably thumb-twiddling while they wait for the triumphant return of Our Heroes. Right now, all the characters from Emma to Hook are in Neverland trying to rescue Henry from Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, who have kidnapped him with the help of two magic-haters because he has the Heart of the Truest Believer, which is a Big Deal for Reasons. Baelfire and the rest are in the Enchanted Forest, and they've just met Robin Hood, who's squatting in Rumplestiltskin's old castle. Baelfire presumably wants to reunite with Emma.

Alright, so why should I watch this show?

The Case Against: Schlocky dialogue-writing, hamfisted moral lessons, constant bad decisions by characters, telegraphed plot twists, hilarious (yet becoming less hilarious) CG effects, questionable acting, Henry being one of the most annoying young characters on TV since Scrappy Doo, disregard for continuity/realism/fidelity to source material, Cris Collinsworth's soothing baritone on NBC at the same time

The Case For: A revolving door of ridiculously attractive (or so I'm told) male characters, feeling like a kid again, finding out just how much scenery Robert Carlyle can chew, writing off most of the aforementioned flaws of the show by remembering that pretty much that's exactly how fairy tales are written anyways, the inevitable moment when Disney brings its newly acquired license to the Star Wars universe into the show, avoiding the anguish of watching your favorite team be unable to put together four quarters of winning football YET AGAIN, on national television no less, for gently caress's sake :argh:

Seriously though this show is crack, everyone who watches it knows how bad it is but simply cannot stop watching. It puts both the "guilty" and the "pleasure" in "guilty pleasure you can't tell your friends about because you know they'll make fun of you for being a dude and watching the show". To that end, I am declaring this thread to be a Hater-Free ZoneTM, because we all know what's wrong with it - and us - and we don't care. The Power of Good Will Prevail.

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Sober
Nov 19, 2011

First touch: Life.
Second touch: Dead again. Forever.
Peter Pan is the hero we deserve for taking Henry away from us. Also playing a convincing villain, hopefully.

Off to a good start, hopefully it has some steam in it. I mean, S2 started out strong but kinda tripped over itself.

edit: also Greg and Tamara being unceremoniously straight up :black101: super quickly was hilarious.

winvirus
Jan 23, 2009

You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

I think its great when they were on the ship Snow White was like "Emma it's not your fault" and I was like yeah it's yours and Emma was like "yeah, it's yours" and that was the minute I realized it was me, I was Emma all along

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax
Seasons 1 & 2 are up on Netflix for anyone wanting to get caught up, and ABC's website has the series recap Journey To Neverland in case they'd rather jump right into season 3.


Sober posted:

edit: also Greg and Tamara being unceremoniously straight up :black101: super quickly was hilarious.

What's interesting is that the Lost Boys are still abiding by Pan's "No Girls Allowed" policy by outright killing Tamara, but only stealing Greg's shadow.

cycowolf
Feb 14, 2005

Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption

Irish Joe posted:

Seasons 1 & 2 are up on Netflix for anyone wanting to get caught up

My wife and I are watching it now. My sister liked it so I decided to give it a watch. Its fun. Sure it has issues but what show doesn't. I tend to relax and just roll with it. Robert Carlyle makes the show for me. Hands down he is a blast to watch in this.

nelson
Apr 12, 2009
College Slice
I'm so excited! This is the only weekly series I've let myself become addicted to. So many fun things in this episode. That reminds me, what ever happened to the mermaid? Did they let her go?

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

The scene on the ship where they sail into the storm was pretty amazing. It was supposed to be pouring rain, but it felt like a glamour photo-shoot. Everyone was doing sexy action poses and the rain and lighting was just enough to set the mood.

cycowolf
Feb 14, 2005

Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption
Ok so I am almost caught up. Went on a binge. I have to say the worst character on this show is young snow white. Feel a little weird about how much I want to punch a kid.

KilGrey
Mar 13, 2005

You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? Just put your lips together and blow...

I don't get all the Henry hate, I actually like him and think he does a decent job. He's not nearly as bad as people make him out to be.

I'm enjoying their take on Peter Pan. I was expecting it to be the shadow or for him to be some imposing figure but he's just a cute kid. I was blinded by his bambi eyes and didn't see the twist with him being Pan coming. He's the anti-Henry. I hope Neal catches up with them soon since he's spent time on the island and I'd like to hear more about that. Also, I love the actor who plays him so more of him on my screen will make me happy.

Are there any .gif makers around? I'd LOVE a .gif of Rumple doing his half-assed, sarcastic hand gesture when he was introducing himself to Pans heavy. That got a good chuckle out of me. Rumple will always be the best part of the show.

I don't know why, but I was really pulling for Regina to flay the mermaid. I think it was the uber smug look on the mermaids face. I also find it interesting that all the stories from Henry's book, all the 'fairy tales' that are real, are all true to our knowledge of them and how they are presented in the book side from Peter Pan. I wonder how it got all twisted.

Also, more Robin Hood please!

cycowolf posted:

Ok so I am almost caught up. Went on a binge. I have to say the worst character on this show is young snow white. Feel a little weird about how much I want to punch a kid.

I love young Snow. Her Ginnifer Goodwin impersonation is spot loving on.

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax


Dazerbeams posted:

The scene on the ship where they sail into the storm was pretty amazing.

Definitely and it makes me wish Disney would make another good Pirates movie. The fourth one was such a disappointment.

cycowolf
Feb 14, 2005

Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption

KilGrey posted:

I love young Snow. Her Ginnifer Goodwin impersonation is spot loving on.

I don't know. To be honest I am not that much of a fan of child or adult Snow. Snow White and Prince Charming are my two least favorite characters on the show. Then again I am usually a evil fan so that could explain that.

Wheeze
Jul 31, 2007

winvirus posted:

I think its great when they were on the ship Snow White was like "Emma it's not your fault" and I was like yeah it's yours and Emma was like "yeah, it's yours" and that was the minute I realized it was me, I was Emma all along
I definitely enjoyed Emma calling Snow and Charming out on trying to parent her.

As great as Greg and Tamara getting murdered almost instantly was, I find it slightly disappointing that they were really working for Peter Pan the whole time. The idea of using :science: to overcome magic is something that always appeals to me.

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002


How the hell is this bag of insanity getting a spin-off and why aren't we talking about it.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

Peter Pan caught me by surprise. I like that he's so cherubic and evil. It's perfect! Henry being the *yawn* True Believer is kind of silly, but the whole show is silly, and Henry really has been a true believer for the entire series. :shrug:

The Shadow still creeps me out, and I like the Lost Boy who talks. :D

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland looks really good! John Lithgow is voicing the White Rabbit! How can you not like that?

cycowolf
Feb 14, 2005

Refill my prescription to whatever that thing is that makes the carpet stop turning into snakes in lieu of my coming conniption

Thank you for this. In that one move you can see how much his character has changed. He really does make the show for me. I will be tuning in to the Wonderland offshoot. Its always depressing when you binge on a show then catch up to it in real time. I love the idea of Pan being so powerful that even Rumple is afraid of him. I am glad they did not kill Bae off, I kind of like him. I wish they had not turned August back into a kid.

Merlinicus
May 3, 2011

Wheeze posted:

I definitely enjoyed Emma calling Snow and Charming out on trying to parent her.

As great as Greg and Tamara getting murdered almost instantly was, I find it slightly disappointing that they were really working for Peter Pan the whole time. The idea of using :science: to overcome magic is something that always appeals to me.

I was more surprised how quickly they just disposed of that whole plot. It almost seemed like the script went "NEW SEASON GUYS, KILL EVERYONE OFF AND START FRESH." I understand there's technically continuation if they were working for Pan the whole time, but still.


Also I agree that this character makes the show. Almost everyone I talk to about this agrees on the best character.

Protagorean
May 19, 2013

by Azathoth
So I accidentally flipped to this today while channel-surfing (yes this is a thing people [who live in dorms] do), I was confused as to why Hitler/Dr. Rush was crying over a doll. Thanks for clearing that particular question up, and raising a gazillion more Barehanded Brother!

Sober
Nov 19, 2011

First touch: Life.
Second touch: Dead again. Forever.

Merlinicus posted:

I was more surprised how quickly they just disposed of that whole plot. It almost seemed like the script went "NEW SEASON GUYS, KILL EVERYONE OFF AND START FRESH." I understand there's technically continuation if they were working for Pan the whole time, but still.
I'm hoping they just jettison Storybrooke for all if not most of this season. I was kinda pissed they kept them there last season and really didn't do anything with it.

WarLocke
Jun 6, 2004

You are being watched. :allears:

Sober posted:

I'm hoping they just jettison Storybrooke for all if not most of this season. I was kinda pissed they kept them there last season and really didn't do anything with it.

I've got to catch up, but did they ever go anywhere with the "Oh no now that the curse is broken what if people start coming to Storybrook?" plot line thing?

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

WarLocke posted:

I've got to catch up, but did they ever go anywhere with the "Oh no now that the curse is broken what if people start coming to Storybrook?" plot line thing?

Yes.

Lava Lamp
Sep 18, 2007
banana phone

Sober posted:

Peter Pan is the hero we deserve for taking Henry away from us. Also playing a convincing villain, hopefully.

Off to a good start, hopefully it has some steam in it. I mean, S2 started out strong but kinda tripped over itself.


I'm almost caught up and so far I agree with that assessment of S2. This show is so awful but I love it anyway. And I could look at Hook all day (so pretty).

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?
I just want more Emilie de Ravin in my life to be honest. Glad to see they wrote her out of the plot for no reason just to put her back in the plot as yet again another character or hallucination or who the gently caress knows preventing her from having any established characteristics. Spoiler for this week's episode if anyone actually cares about spoilers with this show.

I hate this show as much as I love it.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

All caught up and ready to take part. I dig this show. Yeah it's soapy and silly and all that jazz, but its a show about Disney faery tales. Complaining that its too much like a Isney faery tale is like ordering a Quarter Pounder and then complaining its too greasy and bad for you. You got what you ordered. I can even say with confidence that this is not a show where you can say it should be done better. No, this is exactly what a Live Action Disney Faery Tale Mish Mash should be. OP is spot on. Its your kid imagination run wild.

And I'm cool with Henry.
I dislike Kid Snow, get kind of tired of Mary Margeret, but love Enchanted Forest/Flashback Snow.
Rumplestiltskin is the best.

I'm excited to be away from Storybrooke for awhile and into the much more interesting magic lands, but I'll miss Red/Ruby and Grumpy/Lloyd. Not that they were really doing much but still. I think it will be nice when we see them again, assuming we do. I assume there will be Enchanted Forest flashback appearences at least.

I'm excited for new characters. I think that's the best part for me, the hope that each episode will bring a new fable into the mix. Am I the only one kind of hoping for Rufio? Are there even any other Neverland characters to introduce besides Tinkerbell (who I assume is a lock)? I guess maybe since mermaids are a thing Disney has one they might tie in? Man, I really like this stuff. Please no spoilers. A lot of the fun of this for me is seeing someone shoot an arrow and saying "Robin Hood!" or the clever Rumplestiltskin/Beast/Crocodile kind of stuff.

STAC Goat fucked around with this message at 09:37 on Oct 5, 2013

Teek
Aug 7, 2006

I can't wait to entertain you.
I want to say Rufio's rights actually belong to another studio, so I don't think we'll see him.

Also liking the evil take on Peter Pan.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Regina's dress is gorgeous!

VBane
Oct 31, 2011
Wait, so

Is Pan's Shadow actually Rumpel's Shadow?

Or no, that was that first gold scene in the present? Did he have the dagger with him in Neverland?

VBane fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Oct 7, 2013

Tupping Liberty
Mar 17, 2008

Never cross an introvert.
I'm finally watching last week's episode, and I like it, but.... why did they keep the mermaid (before she blew the horn)? I mean, why would they want to keep a mermaid? What was Regina's plan with that?

I'm all about Neil. :allears:

Tupping Liberty fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Oct 7, 2013

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?
Hahaha they totally namedropped Rufio.

STAC Goat
Mar 12, 2008

Watching you sleep.

Butt first, let's
check the feeds.

Hook killed Rufio! Again!

Captain von Trapp
Jan 23, 2006

I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

Dazerbeams posted:

Regina's dress is gorgeous!

Her sense of style post-curse is about half the reason I watch the show.

Manos del Sino
Apr 12, 2004

Original Pony
Soiled Meat
Regina Force-choking the girl in the flashback has reinvigorated my enjoyment for this show. Classy!

KilGrey
Mar 13, 2005

You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? Just put your lips together and blow...

Dazerbeams posted:

Regina's dress is gorgeous!

Fixed that and made it just the plain and simple truth.

Seriously though, I always love Regina flashbacks if for no other reason that her outfits. The costuming department get gold stars for her wardrobe. No one can rock a leather ball gown and a head piece like the Evil Queen.

VBane posted:

Wait, so

Is Pan's Shadow actually Rumpel's Shadow?

Or no, that was that first gold scene in the present? Did he have the dagger with him in Neverland?

That was in the present. Rumple was using the dagger to cut off his shadow. He then gave the dagger to it and told him to hide it. I assume he probably still had the dagger after Regina and her mom found it back in Storybrook.

I can't wait for the Rumple shadow vs. evil shadow fight.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

Peter Pan is employing psychological warfare - I like it. Emma being a lost girl is a nice touch, and I wonder if Henry really is going to turn against her?

OUAT in Wonderland looks really good. I kind of love that the Warden from Alcatraz is head of Alice's asylum.

Irish Joe
Jul 23, 2007

by Lowtax
Jesus, Charming, can you go one season without getting yourself mortally wounded? I know he's this show's damsel-in-distress, but he has never done anything remotely helpful in three seasons and I can't help but think everybody would be better off if they just left him at home.

Cartridgeblowers
Jan 3, 2006

Super Mario Bros 3

Finally caught up. Pretty sad about the death of Rufio. Still.

effervescible
Jun 29, 2012

i will eat your soul

Irish Joe posted:

Jesus, Charming, can you go one season without getting yourself mortally wounded? I know he's this show's damsel-in-distress, but he has never done anything remotely helpful in three seasons and I can't help but think everybody would be better off if they just left him at home.

That's actually one of my favorite things about him. I love that he's an adorable, incredibly earnest dude in distress.

Captain Mog
Jun 17, 2011
There is a fantastic show buried deep in here somewhere that shows its face every so often, and it's really been shining these first two episodes. I hope they can keep this up into the future.

Preview for next week's ep spoilers: I wonder if Tinkerbell was Regina's fairy godmother?

Merlinicus
May 3, 2011
I'm a little bit confused why Rumple is still separated from the rest of the group. Doesn't seem to make a ton of sense, and it doesn't seem to be developing at all. But I'm willing to wait and see.

That said, if Rumple dies in this storyline (which is focused around Henry, mind you, so that could somehow twist into "he'll be your undoing") or whatever the wording was, I'm going to be annoyed. Worst character ever causing the death of the best one and all.

KilGrey
Mar 13, 2005

You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? Just put your lips together and blow...

I highly doubt they'd get rid of Rumple. They know who makes the show.

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mcknitknot
Sep 3, 2013

Ask me how Chick-fil-A is a
four star restaurant
:getin:
Can't wait to see what they do with Tinkerbell's character! Between the malicious and homicidal bitch they portrayed her as in the original Disney movie to the saccharine starry eyed girl wonder from the Tinkerbell franchise I think a fresh and in depth look at her is very exciting! Three seasons I've been waiting! Really hope they don't mess it up...

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