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Shockeh
Feb 24, 2009

Now be a dear and
fuck the fuck off.
Key to making a non-methhead character is to get 7-8 hours sleep. You know, like in the real world.

On people crucifying R* over server loads - know what steps you can take to genuinely avoid the whole Internet DDOS'ing you at once with legitimate traffic? Here, I'll make a list.

1. gently caress all.
2. See 1.

It was always, always always, going to collapse Day 1, because its the only time your entire base of users will attempt to connect simultaneously. It's that, or have poo poo staggered releases where some regions end up with a huge advantage as a consequence, you just can't build an infrastructure that will normally take x% of users for the full 100% because it doesn't make business sense against 'weather the three day shitstorm, get on with your jobs'. This should not be a surprise to anyone.

Shockeh fucked around with this message at 13:12 on Oct 1, 2013

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Parkingtigers
Feb 23, 2008
TARGET CONSUMER
LOVES EVERY FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. EVER.
At least I'm getting to read all these loading screen tips. I like the sound of just slapping down a GPS marker and issuing a challenge to nearby players for an instant impromptu race. Once this poo poo is unfucked, we can get some good times out of that.

Hamburlgar
Dec 31, 2007

WANTED
The servers making GBS threads the bed I can understand, but the character creator is shite.

Sondlar
Sep 9, 2004

Virginia Blend posted:

I have no sympathy for Rockstar on this. They had to know this was gonna be huge and still they dropped the ball.

While they will certainly get this poo poo cleaned up, it is a bit much to think they hosed up so poorly.

Hamburlgar posted:

The servers making GBS threads the bed I can understand, but the character creator is shite.

Seriously, it feels like some god awful webgame character creator.

Icedude
Mar 30, 2004

Don't bother trying to do a Solo Play session, it'll just try to connect you to a server for the first mission anyway, and then corrupt your character slot when it fails and kicks you back to GTAV :argh:

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012
Once you brute-force through the intro race it's pretty smooth going, kinda.

Bigsteve
Dec 15, 2000

Cock It!

Virginia Blend posted:

I have no sympathy for Rockstar on this. They had to know this was gonna be huge and still they dropped the ball.

To be fair they did say last week that this exact thing was going to happen. They have to get the amount of servers correct, too many and they lose cash dow the line, not enough and you get hosed like this.

Should have rented more in advance. But remember, cloud computing is the future. This will be every big launch from now on out. Imagine how it would be if the single player game was using physics hosted on the cloud like Microsoft are saying will be pretty standard in the future.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
For what it's worth, Stamina/Strength determines your character height and complexion.
If they're low, you're shorter than Lamar and he points it out, plus your character has like, bruises on his face or some poo poo.

Legal Work, Hanging with Friends/Family, and Sports/Working Out raises Strength & Stamina at the expense of driving.
Sleeping increases almost all skills by a little.

And anything that raises Driving (you can technically hit 3 bars to start) will absolutely gently caress your Strength and Stamina.

Mister Facetious fucked around with this message at 13:23 on Oct 1, 2013

Cluncho McChunk
Aug 16, 2010

An informational void capable only of creating noise

My first character I chose the stats based on what they improved, and ended up with a woman who looked like she'd been beaten round the face pretty badly. I guess since we'll be raising the stats through play anyway they don't really matter, which is kinda really stupid from the perspective of what Rockstar were actually trying to accomplish with the creator, since not many people are going to want their character to look permanently bruised for the cost of tiny fractions of stats being boosted at the start.

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---
Pretty funny, everyone in this thread has been posting for the past week that the servers would not be able to handle all that traffic. Now the game is live for 2 hours and everyone is surprised the servers aren't working correctly :allears:.

Ravenicus
Jun 30, 2013
I'm in a game but the trigger for the race isn't showing up, seems to be a common issue. Sucks.

jase1
Aug 11, 2004

Flankensttein: A name given to a FPS gamer who constantly flanks to get kills.

"So I was playing COD yesterday, and some flankenstein came up from behind and shot me."
I keep getting the prompt to go to the race trigger but when I get there the race doesn't start. Should I back out and try again?

MikeRabsitch
Aug 23, 2004

Show us what you got, what you got

Virginia Blend posted:

I have no sympathy for Rockstar on this. They had to know this was gonna be huge and still they dropped the ball.

No company has had a successful online launch to a million+ players yet.

Mediocrity Goggles
Mar 20, 2009

Looking at it the wrong way.
Yeah, if we end up just maxing all stats anyways, then it should be fine to pick whatever plays into your appearance. Might have to spend a bit longer getting that driving skill up but it seems like your stats are incredibly low no matter what you pick anyways.

Now if I could get past this loving server check gate of this mandatory intro street race, I probably could be having fun knocking off stores in a solo session.

E: Also hopefully our skills don't decay like the main characters' special stats do, that already drives my OCD up a wall.

Mediocrity Goggles fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Oct 1, 2013

Panic! At The Tesco
Aug 19, 2005

FART


Been playing for 3 hours with no problems. Suck it fools!

Cluncho McChunk
Aug 16, 2010

An informational void capable only of creating noise

beedeebee posted:

Pretty funny, everyone in this thread has been posting for the past week that the servers would not be able to handle all that traffic. Now the game is live for 2 hours and everyone is surprised the servers aren't working correctly :allears:.

The eternal optimism that somewhere, somehow a games company will get the launch of their highly-anticipated online component right. I'm having trouble thinking of a real big release game doing this kind of thing that hasn't had issues recently. The only thing that comes to mind immediately is Call of Duty games, but that's basically cheating as they use peer-to-peer for the actual games and just offer a matchmaker, which also frequently shits the bed.

Harmonica
May 18, 2004

il cinema è la vita e viceversa

Shockeh posted:

you just can't build an infrastructure that will normally take x% of users for the full 100% because it doesn't make business sense against 'weather the three day shitstorm, get on with your jobs'. This should not be a surprise to anyone.

If you're swimming in the kind of Scrooge McDuck money pit they have at Rockstar Towers, you probably can afford to splurge out on some server architecture to handle launch-day load, even if after the first week they never use most of it again - or not until their next game.

I think it's just a case of 'there's no such thing as bad publicity.' The trouble is that it's too safe for publishers to view it as a business decision, because a week later everyone moves on and suffers a terrible amnesia about the whole thing.

For consumers it's an abusive cycle that I'd love someone to actually attempt to break out of. The only ones to do it so far are Valve, but their staggered queue sizes are a tenth of what Rockstar are probably suffering under.

Harmonica fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Oct 1, 2013

Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus
I'm having terrible flashbacks of trying to connect to AOL during peak hours back in '95.

e: Guess I will have time to 100% before I go online after all. :smith:

Professor Beetus fucked around with this message at 13:32 on Oct 1, 2013

bag squad
Sep 5, 2008

by T. Finninho
hard locked twice already :)

VarXX
Oct 31, 2009
I don't think rockstar anticipated not only meeting Call of Duty Numbers, but far exceeding them within 3 days.

cheesetriangles
Jan 5, 2011





How much did it actually sell? Last I heard was only like 8 million.

breed to death
Aug 16, 2013

Ravenicus posted:

I'm in a game but the trigger for the race isn't showing up, seems to be a common issue. Sucks.

Same here. After waiting for 15 minutes for the race to start I quit the game to see if it would help to try again. Now I load up in the motel parking lot but the marker won't show up. I tried clearing my cache, creating a new character, and deleting and downloading the update again but to no avail.

HeyMrDeadMan
Mar 10, 2007

is a swell guy
Anyone figured out a way to make a decent looking female character? Every combination I've tried so far has resulted in Pockmarks McIronjaw.

Ghosts n Gopniks
Nov 2, 2004

Imagine how much more sad and lonely we would be if not for the hard work of lowtax. Here's $12.95 to his aid.
code:
      Stamina Strength Flying  Lungs 
        \ /     \ /     \ /     \ /
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Asleep | + |   | + | + |   |   | + |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
FaF    | + | - |   |   |   | + |   |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Sports | + | - | + |   |   | - | + |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Legal  | + |   |   | + | + | - |   |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Couch  | - |   |   |   | + | + | - |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Party  | - | + | - | + | - |   | - |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Illegal|   | + |   |   |   | + | - |
       |---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
            / \     / \     / \
         Shooting Stealth Driving

futureproof
Jul 19, 2006

Victory for the monkey beast!

bag squad posted:

hard locked twice already :)

Same here. I can't even seem to create a character at this point.

Professor Beetus
Apr 12, 2007

They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

cheesetriangles posted:

How much did it actually sell? Last I heard was only like 8 million.

More like 15 million.

Manxome Foe
Apr 6, 2005

Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
I'm just blown away that I have deleted and recreated my character twice now, amd when I get to the first race, it never starts. I have no pause menu, no map, no nothing. I can only wander around without the ability to do anything. This is really loving frustrating now.

futureproof
Jul 19, 2006

Victory for the monkey beast!
I don't get why they wouldn't at least make Mike, Trevor, and Franklin special parents.

VarXX
Oct 31, 2009

cheesetriangles posted:

How much did it actually sell? Last I heard was only like 8 million.

They made $800 million in the first 24 hours and hit $1 billion in 3 days. The previous record was Black Ops 2 at $500 million in 24 hours and didn't hit $1 billion until a week or two later.

Parkingtigers
Feb 23, 2008
TARGET CONSUMER
LOVES EVERY FUCKING GAME EVER MADE. EVER.
Well I thought I was making progress. Just want to push through that opening so it hopefully gets smoother. Found that by hitting start > online > play GTA Online I could start a solo session which got me the intro cutscene. Crashed when it got to the race part, but I had some eye candy.

Also, you should all make female avatars because it makes being met at the airport a thousand times better. You know why. My girl turned out to look pretty drat good in the end. Now if I can just get a stable connection.

Hezzy
Dec 4, 2004

Pillbug

breed to death posted:

Same here. After waiting for 15 minutes for the race to start I quit the game to see if it would help to try again. Now I load up in the motel parking lot but the marker won't show up. I tried clearing my cache, creating a new character, and deleting and downloading the update again but to no avail.

Seconding this

Dreadwroth
Dec 12, 2009

by R. Guyovich
drat from the sounds of it I guess I'll just go to the gym and work on homework instead of GTAO. Probably better that way, I can wait till this shitstorm is sorted. If this is successful, maybe someday we will see the birth of the Grand Theft Auto World or something.
Is there a Cops and Robbers event? There really should be.

Icedude
Mar 30, 2004

HeyMrDeadMan posted:

Anyone figured out a way to make a decent looking female character? Every combination I've tried so far has resulted in Pockmarks McIronjaw.

First thing first is to go into lifestyle and set time spent doing Illegal Work to 0, that'll get rid of most of the meth addict look. Then for the parents make sure they're weighted towards the grandmothers. Worked for me.

Ravenicus
Jun 30, 2013
I love that the loading screen told me to buy GTA Dollars before it crashed and went back to singleplayer.

Crappers
Jun 16, 2012
Really no surprise this is broken for most people including myself. Did we really expect this whole thing to run smoothly from day 1? Will try again tomorrow with fingers crossed!

univbee
Jun 3, 2004




Knightmare posted:

No company has had a successful online launch to a million+ players yet.

For that matter, when Apple launched the iPad 3 their online store with its basic design crashed and burn because of worldwide demand. I think it might actually be impossible to handle a million+ active connections at a single point, and the only real way to deal with it is to segregate users by region or some similar setup.

Insanite
Aug 30, 2005

I demand free Nissan Leaf-themed DLC to make up for this.

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012
Picking the SUV for my personal ride in GTA:O seems a good idea. I've already shot several people over the hoods of their sports cars while my fat-arsed SUV provides good cover.

Hobo Clown
Oct 16, 2012

Here it is, Baby.
Your killer track.




How do you do missions? After I made my character it dropped me at the Vinewood sign with no direction. Do ATMs not appear on the map?

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Harmonica
May 18, 2004

il cinema è la vita e viceversa
For the character creation, they seem to look at lot more attractive when they're rendered in-game.

Some people have cheesed it through past the opening race but I have no idea how they've managed it.

I think the safest thing to do if you've managed to get past character creation is not to bother reloading GTA online after you inevitably dashboard/reset. Maybe that way your character is ok.

edit: for everyone that saw the Online intro, did you also have huge pop-in issues that weren't a problem in normal GTA? Or has my DVD drive finally decided to die.

Harmonica fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Oct 1, 2013

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