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Oh well, at least Smarmy Spurf or whatever his name is didn't get it. 
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Jan 5, 2014 03:36
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Ok, I updated him. Probably not optimally though.
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Jan 5, 2014 03:53
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goatface posted:Ok, I updated him. Probably not optimally though. And with that...  BETTING IS NOW OPEN FOR THE QUARTERFINALS The quarterfinals matches are as follows: Barrelbum (Tigerman managed by FebrezeNinja) ===vs=== Junai (Werewolf managed by TurninTrix) Horza (Troll managed by ZeeToo) ===vs=== Clown Baby (Tigerman managed by goatface) roctavian (Serpent Man managed by Clockwork Gadget) ===vs=== Dies Horribly (Goblin managed by RickVoid) Dr Stranglelove (Strangler managed by Anchors) ===vs=== MLK (Minotaur managed by Red Dragon) Good luck to all participants and bettors!
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Jan 5, 2014 04:01
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Jazzimus Prime posted:roctavian (Serpent Man managed by Clockwork Gadget) Oh noooooooo.
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Jan 5, 2014 04:04
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Clockwork Gadget posted:Oh noooooooo.  Strangler VS Minotaur should be hilarious no matter who wins, and the other two matches could go either way. Should be an interesting round. RickVoid fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Jan 5, 2014 |
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Jan 5, 2014 04:39
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I'll give everyone a few days to place their bets before we start the matches.NOW GO OUT THERE AND PLACE YOUR BETS
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Jan 5, 2014 05:22
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I'm really hoping that it comes down to Dies Horribly and Dr Stranglelove for the final match.
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Jan 5, 2014 15:41
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Bad Munki posted:Oh well, at least Smarmy Spurf or whatever his name is didn't get it. Sorry, I keep forgetting to sign out of my other account. I really wanted to get him with this account, but my goatface account will have to do. god drat you goatface I clearly called doubledibs
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Jan 5, 2014 21:36
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Just want to say that you guys who are betting 4-16,000 on one fighter are awesome. Makes it fun for the rest of us. Except Bad Munki, he's still a big jerk
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Jan 6, 2014 19:25
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Go ahead, bet against me, be a man.
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Jan 6, 2014 19:30
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Dies Horribly may be the odds favorite, due to managerial bet trickery, but roctavian is clearly the people's champion. 
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Jan 6, 2014 19:34
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Bad Munki posted:Go ahead, bet against me, be a man. I did. I didn't even look at the fighters, just saw your name and bet opposite you. With all 119 dorfbux that I had.
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Jan 6, 2014 19:40
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Clockwork Gadget posted:Dies Horribly may be the odds favorite, due to managerial bet trickery, but roctavian is clearly the people's champion. Yes. You should bet all of your money on Roctavian. All of it. All the money.
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Jan 6, 2014 21:06
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Somehow I have the fifth most money  And now to win even more on the slithery back of roctavian! bye bye money
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Jan 6, 2014 22:39
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And for some reason, my fight is apparently the one everyone's least excited about, judging by the lack of bets. And I'm still the underdog. 
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Jan 7, 2014 03:17
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Don't worry, ZeeToo, I believe in you.
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Jan 7, 2014 07:46
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Can someone reset my password? I need to make a bet... My code for all the dorfbux is 5014783 TildeATH fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Jan 7, 2014 |
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Jan 7, 2014 18:48
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TildeATH posted:Can someone reset my password? I need to make a bet... You're good to go, go ahead and place your bets!
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Jan 8, 2014 08:21
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Looking forward to some real slugfests now that we've hit the quarters.
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Jan 16, 2014 21:54
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I'm going to try to run the first fight this weekend, so hurry up and get your bets in if you haven't already!
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Jan 16, 2014 23:00
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Quarterfinals, Match One Match One, Barrelbum (FebrezeNinja) vs. Junai (TurninTrix)  I'm Al Michaels, once again with my colleague John Madden, and welcome to Boatmurdered Arena, where we will be kicking off the Arena Challenge Quarterfinals! And here, in the quarterfinals, is where I think the fighters really start to believe that they have a shot at winning the whole thing. Because everyone left in this tournament has already won four matches, and they only have to win three more now to be a champion. They've already shown that they can get farther than 120 other fighters, and now... now they only have to prove that they can get farther than seven more fighters, so most of the work is already behind them. But... but on the other hand, on the other side of that coin, there's also the fact that from here on out, they're only going to be facing fighters that have accomplished that same thing, and all of the easy wins in this tournament have already been won by somebody a long time ago. But regardless of it all, by getting this far as a fighter in this arena, you've done something. Another fact about these quarterfinals: as you're all probably already accustomed to, the loser of each quarterfinal match is out of the tournament. But you might not be aware of the fact that the winner of each quarterfinal match is guaranteed to have two more matches, since there will be a third-place match taking place before the final match. And that's another motivating factor for these fighters here tonight. Because they both know that if you lose this one, it's all over. But if you win this one, then you can lose the next one, and it won't all be over yet, because then you've still got that third place match ahead of you. Let's take a look at tonight's fighters. In the left corner, Barrelbum is a male tigerman fighter managed by FebrezeNinja. He wields a steel halberd in one hand and a wooden shield in the other, and wears an iron helm, iron low boots, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and three layers of torso protection -- an iron mail shirt under a steel mail shirt under an iron breastplate. And, and his body looks really well protected, and I think his opponent will have to go for his limbs to have any chance of winning this tonight. Barrelbum is considered by a lot of people to be a heavy favorite to win here tonight because of that halberd, and to maybe go on and win again after this, and when you look at that big weapon of his, well, I'm not inclined to disagree with them. Over in the right corner, Junai is a female werewolf managed by TurninTrix. She wields a steel greataxe in one hand and a wooden shield in the other, and she wears a bronze cap beneath a bronze helm, a copper mail shirt beneath a bronze breastplate, bronze chainmail leggings, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. And the bronze armor isn't going to provide quite the same level of protection as a set of steel armor would, but you know something? It was affordable, and... and it's a lot better than nothing. I'm sure that every fighter that goes through this arena would love to have a full set of adamantine armor, like that shirt that saved that guy Frito all those times in the Lord of the Rings movie, but in the arena it just doesn't work that way. You have to protect yourself the best you can with the funds you have to work with. And there's the bell, and the quarterfinals are underway! Out of the gate, Junai appears to be just a little bit faster than Barrelbum as they charge at one another! And that's probably because Junai's armor is just a little bit lighter than Barrelbum's armor. All that heavy armor can protect you, but it can also slow you down. They meet near the center of the arena, and Junai swiftly hacks downward with her greataxe, and chops off Barrelbum's left foot! The tigerman falls over! And, and that's just the start that Junai needed right there, but I wouldn't count Barrelbum out of this thing just yet. Now, from what we saw in the early rounds, getting knocked to the ground early is usually a death sentence in these arena fights, but if you're going to be fighting from the ground on your back, uh, I think that a halberd is a pretty doggone good weapon to do that with. From the ground, Barrelbum swings his halberd, but Junai jumps back and parries! And that's not a bad idea for her to keep her distance. That halberd has a nasty reach, even from the ground. Now Junai lunges forward and strikes with her axe, but Barrelbum parries it from the ground and then thrusts a counter-blow that shatters Junai's shield arm! She can't hold on to her shield and it falls to the arena floor! That was a great strike from the ground by Barrelbum there, but he's probably going to need more than that to get back in this. Junai swings her axe again, but the halberdier blocks with his shield and counters with a perfect strike to Junai's feet! Her right foot is severed and she, too, falls to the ground, and now both fighters are unable to stand! And that right there was what Barrelbum needed to get back in this! Most of the time in the arena, when a fighter loses a foot, the fight is over, but I didn't think that would be the case for the halberd guy, and... and it turns out it wasn't the case for the halberd guy, and now, now it's anybody's fight! Both fighters struggle to get into a sitting position to try to mount an offense. Junai sits up first and swings her axe at Barrelbum, but he gets his shield up just in time and knocks the blow away! And before she can get her weapon back into position to parry, Barrelbum chops at Junai's leg, tearing open a deep gash through the bronze chainmail leggings! When steel meets bronze, the steel usually wins! That hit probably would have knocked her to the floor, if both fighters weren't already on the floor. Barrelbum swings his halberd at Junai again, but Junai gets her axe in place to parry! Junai tries to counter, but Barrelbum parries that strike! And it's going to be hard for either fighter to mount an offense in this position. They're both on the ground, and they're both hurt, and now, now the fight is going to slow down. And at least for me, I think that's a welcome change compared to what we usually saw in the earlier rounds, where the guy who landed the first hit almost always went on to win an overwhelming one-sided victory. Junai swings her axe squarely at Barrelbum's chest, but the blow is DEFLECTED by Barrelbum's steel mail shirt! And that right there is why you spend all that money on quality armor. Because Barrelbum's steel armor just kept him alive right there. There's a big pool of blood around the fighters in the center of the arena, and Barrelbum is starting to look a little woozy from blood loss! Yeah, both fighters are bleeding out pretty badly here, but Barrelbum has been bleeding for a little bit longer, so the blood loss is catching up to him first. But Barrelbum has landed more hits in the last few minutes of this fight, so if he can weather this blood loss here, he'll probably have the advantage. Barrelbum stabs his halberd at Junai, but she knocks the weapon away with her axe! But now she's starting to get pale from blood loss as well! And both fighters were having a tough time mounting an offense before, and it's just going to get tougher from here as they both continue to bleed. Junai swings her axe again, but once again Barrelbum blocks with his shield! The tigerman tries to counter with his halberd, but again Junai knocks the weapon away with her axe! And offense is getting hard to come by for both of these fighters now! The next one to land a blow will probably win this! Now Junai lands another blow on Barrelbum's chest with her axe, but Barrelbum's steel armor deflects the blow once again! That's twice now that Barrelbum would be dead without his steel mail shirt, and that's twice now that the mail shirt has saved him! Barrelbum swings his halberd in a powerful overhand arc, but Junai easily gets her axe up in time to parry the blow! Barrelbum is now starting to look extremely pale from all that blood loss! If this were a boxing match, Barrelbum would be ahead on points. But this isn't a boxing match, it's a fight to the death, and even though he's landed plenty of hits and Junai has only landed one, it doesn't mean anything for Barrelbum unless he can find a way to finish this off. Junai swings her axe at Barrelbum's torso again, and AGAIN the steel mail shirt deflects the blow! And that's THREE times that the steel shirt has saved his life! And now, now both fighters are really getting weak from blood loss! The next one to land a hit will probably win this, if one of them doesn't bleed out first. Both fighters are hurting, and both are barely able to mount an offense! Barrelbum stabs his halberd at Junai again, but she parries with her axe! Uh-oh! Barrelbum is slow to recover here, and he might have opened up his defense! Junai uses the opening to hack at Barrelbum's other foot, and connects! She slices it off! And as long as she can keep her defenses up, that just might be enough for her to win the match! Both fighters have already bled a lot, but now, now Barrelbum is bleeding out a whole lot more! Knowing that he needs a miracle at this point, Barrelbum desperately flails away at Junai with all of his strength! But she parries his halberd with her axe again and again! This could do it! Barrelbum raises his halberd one more time and... collapses, dead from blood loss! Junai advances to the semifinals! You know, I really thought that Barrelbum could probably punch his ticket to the finals with that steel halberd of his. He was a heavy favorite in a lot of people's eyes. But there's a saying in the sports world, whenever one team looks like they're a sure thing but doesn't win, they say "that's why they play the games." And that applies in the arena, too. Tonight, Junai was a smaller fighter, and she had a smaller weapon, and her armor wasn't quite as good, and a lot of people didn't think she had a chance, but to paraphrase the old saying... that's why they fight the fights. And with that, the first of four semifinal spots are taken, and for John Madden, this is Al Michaels wishing you all good night from Boatmurdered Arena, where Junai has defeated Barrelbum in a stunning upset!Combat Log
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Jan 19, 2014 06:39
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 I meant to sell the iron shirt, but forgot to do that. Steel boots were seriously the next thing I wanted.
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Jan 19, 2014 07:33
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Haha! and I forgot to place all my bets on her like I planned 
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Jan 19, 2014 08:38
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Dammit, Barrelbum! I believed in you!
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Jan 19, 2014 16:31
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I think Dies Horribly will win, but I can't pass up those odds. 500 on Roctavian!
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Jan 19, 2014 21:20
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Steel is pretty good at hacking dudes up.
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Jan 19, 2014 21:33
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Yeah, only steel+ armor can counter steel weapons.
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Jan 19, 2014 21:34
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FebrezeNinja posted:
YOU loving RUINED ME, FEBREZE NINJA I'M RUINED
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Jan 20, 2014 18:30
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I've made a change to the the Betting Leaders page because it didn't make sense, for example, for Rickvoid and TurninTrix to go from the top two on the betting boards to near-last because they had bet on a match that hasn't been run yet. The rankings should make more sense now during active tournament rounds. Also, I'll be on vacation all next week but will try to squeeze in another match before then.
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Jan 20, 2014 22:20
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Man. Look at all those poor dwarfbucks that have gone un-bet
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Jan 20, 2014 22:23
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RickVoid posted:Man. Look at all those poor dwarfbucks that have gone un-bet Anyone who still has "Available Funds" remaining can place a bet on any of the remaining three matches in the round! It's only too late after the match has been run. And, as always, any new players who register will get 1000 free dwarfbucks to bet with as they see fit. EDIT: I went ahead and added rankings to the Betting Leaders page as well, because I know how much Bad Munki loves to see himself in the top ten. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Jan 21, 2014 |
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Jan 20, 2014 22:28
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I have expended some dorfbux! I bet against Dies, because either I get richer than Croesus, or I see Dies through to the semis. Win-win!
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Jan 22, 2014 23:42
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Quarterfinals, Match Two Match Two, Horza (ZeeToo) vs. Clown Baby (goatface)  Welcome to another edition of Arena Challenge, coming to you live from Dwarfhalla Square Garden, where a crowd of 21,937 is on hand to witness our next match! I'm Jazzimus Prime, here with my colleague Ironhide. It's good to be back in the Arena! In the left corner, Horza the troll, managed by ZeeToo, wears a steel helm, steel high boots, iron gauntlets, THREE layers of chest protection -- a copper mail shirt beneath a steel mail shirt beneath a steel breastplate, and a set of platinum greaves on his legs. Platinum leg armor, huh? Looks real nice I guess, even though it won't do much in the way of protection. And, uh... where's his weapon? Horza doesn't have a weapon. Well, that's somethin'. I guess it's got him this far, but I don't know if you can win the tournament unarmed. Ain't never been done before, anyway. And in the right corner, Clown Baby, managed by goatface, wields a steel halberd in one hand and holds a wooden shield in the other, and wears an iron helm, and iron mail shirt beneath an iron breastplate, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. I think he's protected really well against an unarmed opponent, but I've never seen a match quite like this to be honest. Knowin' how the arena works, I'd imagine that Horza must be real skilled in unarmed combat, but can that really win against an armored guy with a halberd? I guess we'll find that out tonight, Ironhide, although the unarmed Horza is actually a slight favorite on the betting boards. And there's the bell, and the fighters are off! Horza the Troll and Clown Baby the Tigerman charge at each other! Looks like neither one is any faster than the other. As they approach each other, Clown Baby swings his halberd in a huge arc over his shoulder down at Horza's feet! Uh-oh! Lots of matches have ended this way, by takin' out the other guy's feet! But Horza's steel boots deflect the steel halberd! Those steel boots were a wise investment. Now Horza lowers his head, and gores Clown Baby in the arm with his horns, and knocks him to the arena floor! Looks like Horza's horns just left a bruise through Clown Baby's armor, but he did put the tigerman on his back! Horza slashes his claws at Clown Baby, but the tigerman gets his shield up just in the nick of time to block it! Close call there. Clown Baby counters, and stabs the tip of his halberd right into Horza's main hand through the armor! Horza hand is all tore up! He'd be droppin' his weapon right now, if he had a weapon! But since Horza is fighting unarmed, he's only having to deal with some nerve damage and some bleeding from one hand! Y'know, I wondered why anyone would choose to fight unarmed in the arena. Maybe this right here is the reason. An armed fighter would be at a huge disadvantage here after losin' their weapon, but Horza has been trainin' for unarmed combat during the entire tournament. So he ain't really lost anything here. Clown Baby gets back to his feet, just barely avoiding another slash from Horza's claws in the process! But Horza charges again and knocks the tigerman back down! He did manage to block that troll's horns there with his shield, but it looks like he's stunned now from the force of gettin' knocked over! While Clown Baby is on the ground, Horza gores him again, bruising his leg bone! Then he claws at the tigerman's abdomen -- Clown Baby's mail shirt protects him somewhat, but the sheer force of the blow causes a nasty bruise! As well as Horza's fightin' here, I still ain't sure how unarmed gets through all that metal armor. This may be the answer right here, as Horza grabs the tigerman's right foot, and tries for a joint lock! That might cripple him, but it ain't gonna kill him. But Clown Baby comes back to his senses, no longer stunned, and slips right out of it, then stands back up! But Horza charges YET AGAIN, and knocks the tigerman right back down! I guess the best way to keep from gettin' cut up by a halberd is to keep knockin' the other guy down so he can't use it. Horza tries to gore his grounded opponent again, but Clown Baby rolls away at the last second. However, he's rapidly being backed into a corner! Horza gores Clown Baby again, bruising the other leg before the tigerman can get back up! Still can't land anything worse than a bruise through that armor. As Clown Baby gets back to his feet yet again, Horza charges AGAIN to try and knock him into the wall... but this time, Clown Baby is finally able to leap out of the way, and Horza rushes right by him! And here's the tigerman's chance to get back in it! As Horza is getting turned around, Clown Baby swings the halberd right for his head! Uh-oh! This could be trouble! Horza recoils just in time to avoid the worst of it, but one of his tusks is knocked cleanly out of his mouth by the tip of the halberd, and goes sailing across the arena! Well, I guess that's one way to try and disarm an unarmed fighter. Furiously, Horza charges again! Clown Baby gets the shield up in time to block the troll's horns, but the collision knocks the tigerman over yet again, stunning him once again! I just don't think this is gonna be enough to win the match for Horza. Horza wastes no time and leaps on top of his stunned opponent, grabbing his gauntleted weapon hand and bending the fingers all the way back! A piercing squeal of metal on metal, a sickening crackle of broken bones, and Clown Baby loses his grip on his precious halberd! Well, that might be enough to win it. He's still gotta finish him off though. Horza tries to go for Clown Baby's throat, but Clown Baby knocks the hand away with his shield, and rolls back to his feet! And now both guys are unarmed, but only one of 'em is trained for unarmed fightin'! Horza swipes a claw at Clown Baby but misses! Clown Baby tries to counter with a punch, but misses! For as long as this fight's been goin' on now, there ain't been a whole lot of offense. Unless you count one guy knockin' the other guy down to be offense. Horza charges again, but Clown Baby jumps out of the way! Undeterred, Horza charges yet again, knocking the tigerman back to the ground again! Horza goes for a joint lock on the foot again, but again Clown Baby slips out of it. We might be here for a while. The tigerman gets back up, but Horza charges again, knocking him back down, Horza tries to punch at Clown Baby on the ground but can't connect, Clown Baby tries to counter but misses... Yawn... I'm going to head for the concession stand. Will you cover for me? Sure. Uh, Clown Baby stands up, Horza charges again and knocks him down again, tries to gore him with the horns but the armor deflects it, Clown Baby gets back up again...At this point, I actually paused the fight in real life and went to get something to eat Several hundred lines of combat log output later... So, did I miss anything? Uh, I think Horza's startin' to get tired from knockin' Clown Baby over so many times. Indeed, Horza is starting to tire, but it isn't slowing him down that much just yet, as he keeps on knocking over Clown Baby and delivering plenty of bruises. Not enough to decide the battle though, and he's gettin' more tired out there. However, Clown Baby eventually manages to get a punch through the guard of the tired Horza, and breaks the troll's nose! That's somethin'. This seems to invigorate Horza just enough for him to launch a flurry of blows on Clown Baby's abdomen! The tigerman doubles over and vomits! Ew. And now the fight is a troll that is nearly ready to collapse from exhaustion, against a tigerman that's puking his guts out! Welcome to the Arena. Horza delivers another flurry of blows to Clown Baby's iron-clad torso, bruising the tigerman's innards even worse! But now Horza FALLS OVER, collapsed from exhaustion! But Clown Baby ain't in no position to take advantage. Yes, it appears Clown Baby is too busy puking and retching and crapping himself and pissing blood at this point from all that organ damage he's sustained to mount any kind of offense. Horza slowly gets back up to his feet, beats on Clown Baby some more, then collapses again! And all Clown Baby can do now is dry-heave. And so it continues, for another half-hour or so, until Horza eventually, finally lands enough hits on Clown Baby's head to rupture his skull through the metal helm! And that does it! An utterly exhausted Horza moves on to the semifinals, after winning the fifth-longest one-on-one match in Arena history! I didn't think a guy with no weapon could beat a guy with a halberd, but that's just what happened! For Ironhide, this is Jazzimus Prime, and we'll see you all next time!Combat Log (633 lines long)
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Jan 24, 2014 04:32
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Heh. drat.
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Jan 24, 2014 04:37
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Holy poo poo that was the best battle. Thank you for describing it so vividly. I could really smell the tigerman puke.
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Jan 24, 2014 05:05
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VladTheEater posted:Don't worry, ZeeToo, I believe in you. Yes! Vindication! If only I actually had Dorfbux to bet...
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Jan 24, 2014 05:06
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Now that I've redesigned the betting leader board, we can get an idea of how this match affected the bet standings. Standings Before the Match:  Standings After the Match:  As you can see, Iunnrais and A good poster both moved up on the leader board because of their bets on Horza, but gbuchold fell out of the Top 20 after betting on Clown Baby. Expect a lot more movement on the leader board after the next match, which now has the second most dwarfbucks riding on it of any match in arena history, behind only the previous tournament's championship match!
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Jan 24, 2014 05:17
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Also, sorry for the double post, but I'll be getting on a plane tomorrow, so it will be at least another week until the next update. It will be the long awaited roctavian vs. Dies Horribly match! Will Dies continue the run that started with the play-in match? Or will we see a tiny but venomous Serpent-Man make it to the semifinals against the giants? A three-man broadcasting team of Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan will bring you all the action when we return!
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Jan 24, 2014 06:31
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Jazzimus Prime posted:A three-man broadcasting team of Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan will bring you all the action when we return! Excellent.
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Jan 24, 2014 06:35
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So... that's the fifth-longest fight. How many of the other top fivers involved my gladiators? 
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Jan 24, 2014 08:25
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