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After the way Asylum killed off its main characters, I can believe Fiona is dead and gone. Then again, she must be in hell with Laveau and LaLaurie, so any of them could potentially show up during the Descensum test. Makes me wonder what exactly the rules of the afterlife are, considering Spalding and Axeman are ghosts that can interact with the living, in contrast to Laveau and LaLaurie, who are apparently doomed to relive the same scenario. Not to mention Madison claimed she saw emptiness during her time. Not that I think they've thought it through any more than anything else this season, but you have to wonder who goes where and why.
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Jan 24, 2014 06:13
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You guys, I'm seriously upset. What is going to happen to the poor baby?
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Jan 24, 2014 07:03
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Queenie is the only one who has traveled to the underworld and returned, right? Since Madison said there was nothing after you die, whereas Queenie went to the chicken shack and bargained with Papa Legba. From the preview it looks like there's going to be a heavy dose of love triangle yet again with Frankentate. Hopefully that's over quick. Man, I just cannot get into this season.
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Jan 24, 2014 07:48
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There's only one episode left, so it shouldn't be a big surprise if Fiona really is dead and gone. Kind of anticlimactic but, eh, it's American Horror Story.
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Jan 24, 2014 08:01
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Dear Prudence posted:You guys, I'm seriously upset. What is going to happen to the poor baby? ...That's right, there's a loving baby somewhere in that house. Left with the creepy butler.
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Jan 24, 2014 08:55
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The baby is the next Supreme.
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Jan 24, 2014 10:10
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Creepy Pervert Ghost Butler will raise the child to be a new Creepy Pervert Butler, and then retire & move to Florida.
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Jan 24, 2014 12:04
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Fruity Gordo posted:Creepy Pervert Ghost Butler will raise the child to be a new Creepy Pervert Butler, and then retire & move to Florida. And then he became a lumberjack.
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Jan 24, 2014 15:26
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Man that was the only good episode of the entire season. Where the gently caress was this AHS? Characters actually died and stayed dead. They had horrible things happen to them as well, which makes you dread the situation they're in. Oh and big loving surprise, one of the most unnerving scenes took place in 17th century New England. Imagine if the whole season was like the opening credits to this episode. There's still plot holes and logical inconsistencies (wouldn't someone notice that the tour guide for the LaLaurie house suddenly went missing?), but this episode looks like it's turning this season around. Oh wait, there's only one episode left? Oh well.
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Jan 24, 2014 15:49
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OmegaBR posted:After the way Asylum killed off its main characters, I can believe Fiona is dead and gone. Yea I normally don't sperg out over stuff like that, but this season kind of makes it impossible not to. There's an almost technical focus on the specific powers each witch can develop, and they've shown us 3 or 4 different ways that a person can come back from the dead. Then they throw in that line from Madison about there being nothing, and go ahead and actually show Hell, so that's a contradiction. Its hard to understand exactly what "magic" means in this universe, what a "ghost" is, or even what a "witch" is. Its all convoluted to the extreme, to the point that its hard to hand waive it away like I normally do. In the first season the spirits in the house were simple enough to understand, there weren't three or four different types of ghosts all created by different means.
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Jan 24, 2014 16:13
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I laughed my rear end off when Joe from Ellen was the tour guide. I know Ellen was the boss, and I know he came in to work 4 hours late every day. "So here's this house. It's haunted. Get off the bus." And maybe Madison saw nothing because she didn't go to helahahahahahaha I can't even type that out.
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Jan 24, 2014 16:39
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xeria posted:There's only one episode left, so it shouldn't be a big surprise if Fiona really is dead and gone. Kind of anticlimactic but, eh, it's American Horror Story. They were very careful to show Fiona getting axed, but not show the actual feeding to gators. I haven't ruled out Cordelia lying about that so no one tries to find and resurrect Fiona. She'll resurrect herself in the final episode, probably with some explanation tied to being soulless.
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Jan 24, 2014 17:20
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Dienes posted:They were very careful to show Fiona getting axed, but not show the actual feeding to gators. I haven't ruled out Cordelia lying about that so no one tries to find and resurrect Fiona. She'll resurrect herself in the final episode, probably with some explanation tied to being soulless. Yeah the more I think about it the more I know that no way in hell Laveau, Fiona, or LaLaurie are dead. This loving show would never allow them to truly die the episode before the finale.
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Jan 24, 2014 17:52
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escape artist posted:The baby is the next Supreme. The power of the babe.
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Jan 24, 2014 19:30
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ColHannibal posted:The power of the babe. Quick, hide your post before you give Ryan Murphy ideas. I don't have the inner strength to see David Bowie get brutally murdered by Jessica Lange.
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Jan 24, 2014 19:53
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The only ingredients missing from this poo poo show are time travel and the inconsistent narrator
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Jan 24, 2014 20:13
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A narrator for this show would be the equivalent of doing a choose your own adventure Goosebumps book and skipping back when one of the characters die.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:14
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f1av0r posted:The only ingredients missing from this poo poo show are time travel and the inconsistent narrator Hey, there's still an episode left!
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Jan 24, 2014 20:26
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I want to slap whomever on the production team thought that stupid old-timey film about the Seven Wonders at the beginning of the latest episode was at all interesting or clever.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:32
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It would have been cool, say, right after the first mention of the Wonders.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:37
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Yodzilla posted:I want to slap whomever on the production team thought that stupid old-timey film about the Seven Wonders at the beginning of the latest episode was at all interesting or clever. I felt it was just a really lazy way of establishing what exactly the Seven Wonders are. We weren't really sure where we were going with anything this season, but we decided to kill off (permanently? hah, wouldn't you like to know) all the interesting characters except Myrtle so you should care about the trial of the Wonders now. Here, let me tell you exactly what they are. Show, don't tell. It's not quite as bad as inner monologue voiceovers and Ghost Dad in Dexter, but it's the same idea.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:47
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It vaguely reminded me of the monologues at the end of the Silent Hill movie or Terminator Salvation aka we're awful writers and have no respect for the audience so just sit back and let me talk at you for a bit.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:51
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It's something that maybe could have worked when attached to the episode where they actually do the wonders (aka next episode, apparently) or (better) the one where the concept of the wonders was first introduced, kind of like how they did some old-timey flashbacks when Myrtle was talking about that ritual to force the next supreme via the old one killing herself. (Which, speaking of, shouldn't one of them have felt something particularly different if Fiona's actually dead? Or is this going to end up where they're all the possible supreme because all of them except Zoe have died at least once?)
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Jan 24, 2014 20:58
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Yodzilla posted:I want to slap whomever on the production team thought that stupid old-timey film about the Seven Wonders at the beginning of the latest episode was at all interesting or clever. I actually liked that bit but it should have been the first scene in the first episode. That was all useful information that we should have known from the get-go and would have made assembling the seven wonder witches together important. Also, again, this season shouldn't have been set in modern times considering how appropriate that scene was.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:02
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Or they could have told us about the Seven Wonders in some classroom scenes where Cordelia actually teaches the young witches about witchery. You know, at the boarding school they all live at.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:06
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I don't get why instead of trying to save Marie Laveau, Queenie was negotiating with Papa Legba to kill her.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:15
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Fast Luck posted:I don't get why instead of trying to save Marie Laveau, Queenie was negotiating with Papa Legba to kill her. That's just how pissed she was at Lalaurie. Laveau staying dead was the only way Lalaurie would stay dead too.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:19
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Pellisworth posted:Or they could have told us about the Seven Wonders in some classroom scenes where Cordelia actually teaches the young witches about witchery. You know, at the boarding school they all live at. This would have been a good way to do it. Sarah Paulson has a great voice for exposition. Imagining her explaining the Seven Wonders to the girls in that quiet, tremulous tone she has makes me wish it had happened that way. Also, her dead eyes are freaking me out.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:22
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Except she still gave LaLaurie a shot at redemption. And well why not just bury LaLaurie alive again?QuickbreathFinisher posted:This would have been a good way to do it. Sarah Paulson has a great voice for exposition. Imagining her explaining the Seven Wonders to the girls in that quiet, tremulous tone she has makes me wish it had happened that way. I will admit that episode was an improvement but this season has already lost me beyond the point of salvage. Fast Luck fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 21:22
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QuickbreathFinisher posted:This would have been a good way to do it. Sarah Paulson has a great voice for exposition. Imagining her explaining the Seven Wonders to the girls in that quiet, tremulous tone she has makes me wish it had happened that way. I do think it's hilarious that she didn't have to stab herself in the eyes and consulted no experienced witches before doing it. She would have to be the teacher as Jessica Lange is incapable of playing anyone but an angry woman who stumbles a lot when she drinks. Holy hell does Lange tap that well every time her character has a drink. One sip and she's instantly got her arms out stumbling around the scene. What teaching is there anyway considering all these girls already have their powers fully fleshed out by the first episode?
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Jan 24, 2014 21:41
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Cordelia's eyes remind me of Brian Peppers.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:52
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Pellisworth posted:Or they could have told us about the Seven Wonders in some classroom scenes where Cordelia actually teaches the young witches about witchery. You know, at the boarding school they all live at. I'll take it one step further and say that there shouldn't have been any Madame Delphine at all this season *cue shocked gasps* or any fundie-christian enema crap *even more shocked gasps* or... NO FRANKENTATE AT ALL. These plot points simply took up WAY too much time that should've been devoted to developing the witch school. It'd be an interesting writing exercise to attempt to rewrite this season in order to have it make sense. Like, the overarching villains could be the witch hunters, who are some sort of vigilante NOLA street gang. And with actual magic and demonic entities and devil-pacts and whatnot, with real character development and people not getting resurrected every five seconds. There could be real magic lessons and cool "The Craft" catty witch-bitch poo poo but not to the ridiculous extent to which it was taken. Finally, I also think they may as well have just set this season in present-day/past Salem. I see no point of the New Orleans setting since it's been woefully neglected and quite frankly Salem would've made much more sense. Captain Mog fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 22:27
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Captain Mog posted:I'll take it one step further and say that there shouldn't have been any Madame Delphine at all this season *cue shocked gasps* or any fundie-christian enema crap *even more shocked gasps* or... NO FRANKENTATE AT ALL. These plot points simply took up WAY too much time that should've been devoted to developing the witch school. I 100% agree. Kathy Bates killed it of course but LaLaurie was not a necessary character. Same with Frankentate and Christian mama. Frankentate and Christian family were vehicles to showcase Misty and Nan's powers but that ultimately did not necessitate several episodes worth of direction to do. Hell, even Laveau and the witch hunters didn't do much to drive the story to the conclusion, which is apparently finding the next supreme or whatever. All they needed to do was make the girls not all powerful in the beginning, make the school an actual school and use those three head witches as teachers instead of random people who showed up, and introduce an outside force that's trying to gently caress that all up. Why not make Misty an evil rogue witch that the rest of the witches believe to be the evil one? Why not actually hide the fact that Fiona is going to kill the next supreme and take her powers and make that a surprise ending instead of shoving it down our throats every episode? Holy poo poo if they would have just done that with Fiona this season it would have been fantastic. Someone hire me to write for them.
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Jan 24, 2014 22:45
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One of the highlights of the disjointed writing is that apparently a witch governing body could "detect" that something'd happened to Madison so they sent out the council to investigate. Two members of the council are brutally murdered and no follow-up investigation ever takes place and the only other thing ever revealed about greater witch society is that Stevie Nicks is a witch. Is this coven the only one in the world because I don't think so because there's voodoo witches right down the street but then why does Fiona plan to eliminate the next supreme by killing the five girls in her house.
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Jan 24, 2014 22:55
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Captain Mog posted:Finally, I also think they may as well have just set this season in present-day/past Salem. I see no point of the New Orleans setting since it's been woefully neglected and quite frankly Salem would've made much more sense. I felt like the setting was such a huge part of the first two seasons and even a bit of a character in its own right. Murder House is big and beautiful and creepy and we get to see it with a bunch of different owners from different time periods. Asylum you have the titular Asylum and all the bleakness and horrors that come with it. They could have done a ton with the witch school and New Orleans setting (remember early on Fiona and the girls get all dressed up and stroll around) but it's a bland and forgettable backdrop to inane teen witch drama.
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Jan 24, 2014 22:56
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Fast Luck posted:One of the highlights of the disjointed writing is that apparently a witch governing body could "detect" that something'd happened to Madison so they sent out the council to investigate. Two members of the council are brutally murdered and no follow-up investigation ever takes place and the only other thing ever revealed about greater witch society is that Stevie Nicks is a witch. Is this coven the only one in the world because I don't think so because there's voodoo witches right down the street but then why does Fiona plan to eliminate the next supreme by killing the five girls in her house. This is a really good summation of some egregiously stupid poo poo.
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Jan 24, 2014 23:00
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Doltos posted:I 100% agree. Kathy Bates killed it of course but LaLaurie was not a necessary character. Same with Frankentate and Christian mama. Frankentate and Christian family were vehicles to showcase Misty and Nan's powers but that ultimately did not necessitate several episodes worth of direction to do. Hell, even Laveau and the witch hunters didn't do much to drive the story to the conclusion, which is apparently finding the next supreme or whatever. This post made me stop and think about what the actual overarcing storylines have been this season. In Murder House you had the failing marriage + strange pregnancy kind of driving all the action, while Violet had her romance with Tate + figuring out what was really going on with that house. The series ends when Vivien gives birth, and her/Ben both die and join the rest of the spirits. In Asylum, you had Lana and Kit's joint false imprisonment vs Bloodyface, Mary Eunice/the Devil, etc. plus Jude's character arc. The series ends with Lana's freedom (and putting down Son of Bloodyface), Jude achieving peace of mind, and Kit going to join the aliens. It's weird, but there's still a line through the episodes you can easily follow. Coven is...about the supreme and who the next one will be? Or immortality and how much it does/doesn't suck? Or witch hunters trying to eradicate witchcraft except not really because they care more about money? Or how just bad racism is? Fiona's the closest thing we have to a central character to follow, and she spends most of the season waffling on whether or not she really wants to live forever. It doesn't seem to be trying to tell an actual story about these characters so much as going, "Witches and stuff, or whatever!" and calling it good.
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Jan 24, 2014 23:02
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I thought that the theme for Coven was that minorities will often devolve into in-fighting because reasons, and well... They've actually hit spot on that. I guess. The witch-voodoo team up was when I thought the story would start to shift to "well they just need to work together and see that the enemy is clearly just the editvvv: I just hope that Papa Legba shows up at the end and is all like "You've all been in hell all along!!!" Snorts a bit of coke and makes off with that poor baby they're keeping locked up. That'll be better than any battle they could muster at this point. MLKQUOTEMACHINE fucked around with this message at 23:17 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 23:12
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The entire season was build up to a battle that never happened. And that's pretty much it. Like I said before, first the enemy was the Voodoo clan, then the enemy was Fiona, then it was the witch hunters, and you've had nothing but petty schoolyard bickering in between rather than an actual battle. Ok they did kill the witch hunters, fair enough. But it was such a goofy scene it hardly counts. The zombie attack wasn't bad, even though Zoe pulled a deus ex and killed them all. And the minotaur was such a non-entity, I almost forgot about it entirely. Yeah we never got our big Angels vs. Satan vs. Aliens vs. Zombies battle in Asylum either, but at least the buildup to it was interesting and made a lick of sense. And the Wonder trials might be an interesting conclusion, but you seriously could have condensed everything leading up to them in one or two episodes. Maybe that would have made for a better season, a new Supreme suddenly revealed in episode three and the drama from her adapting to the role while a voodoo war looms, plus everyone having to respect her, as well Fiona's jealousy coming to a head.
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Jan 24, 2014 23:14
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I forgot why do the witches and voodoo people hate each other. I know Kathy bates tortured the voodoo people but she didn't join the witch faction until later. Maybe I wasn't paying attention to the Salem crew messing up the New Orleans crew whenever it was explained
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Jan 24, 2014 23:26
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