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Jack's Flow posted:Doppelganger talk. I definitely had coaches who thought that if you weren't committing fouls then it was a sign you weren't putting forward a good enough effort on defense
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Jan 30, 2014 10:14
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Who is the worst player in the league? That's me.
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Jan 30, 2014 13:27
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Mine is Anthony Bennett because I am comically inept at playing basketball. e: and any team that picks me up instantaneously regrets it R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 16:38
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Guess I'm Nazr Mohammed. Unathletic, no touch, but I'm tall, will set screens and rebound.
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Jan 30, 2014 16:56
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I play like Ben Gordon. When I get the ball it's going to the rim so you might as well go ahead and get in for the rebound.
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Jan 30, 2014 17:08
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Who is the guttiest scrappiest hustlingest player that is actually really lazy and doesn't deserve any of those monikers because that's me.
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Jan 30, 2014 17:09
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Doltos posted:Who is the guttiest scrappiest hustlingest player that is actually really lazy and doesn't deserve any of those monikers because that's me. Derek Fisher?
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Jan 30, 2014 17:21
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Intruder posted:Nothing feels worse than beating a guy then blowing the layup This is me. In terms of doppelgangers, I guess I play like Chandler Parsons? I try pretty hard, cut a lot and can hit threes sometimes 
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Jan 30, 2014 17:36
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My game makes no sense, so I can't really compare myself to any NBA players. I'm 5'10, 180 pounds. I can't shoot or dribble very well, so I've learned how to play in the paint. I am a great rebounder, and get a ton of garbage buckets. I also have a good vertical, so that combined my defensive instincts gets me a few blocks per game. Luckily, I was blessed with big rear end hands. I can palm a ball easily. That being said, I've mastered the baby hook. I learned how to do it just messing around, and realized that I was MUCH more consistent hitting that shot, compared to a jump shot. I have it down to the point where I can shoot it with either hand, and if I jump when I shoot it, it's almost unblockable. People call me Hakeem sometimes, because I'm constantly pivoting, and spinning, before throwing up a baby hook. I can't compare myself to The Dream though. That's just stupid. I also can do the Jordan one handed pump fake, but since I can't shoot, no one ever falls for it unless it's real close to the basket.
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Jan 30, 2014 17:41
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the way to do it is "why do you try and emulate your game after?" and "who do you actually play like on the court?" to which my answers are: penny hardaway (all-around guard that can work at any position on the court)/sam cassell (good handle, but I'm weird at driving to the bucket and can only really score on post-ups and mid-range) straight up brolic fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 17:43
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I have weirdly big hands for a 5'9 guy and can't dribble with pressure on me so my game is entirely based on running a lot. I usually have the guy guarding me sweat-drenched by 10 points in. I guess I'm some crappy version of Luol Deng.
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Jan 30, 2014 17:43
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I'm Shawn Bradley.
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Jan 30, 2014 17:51
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Doltos posted:Who is the guttiest scrappiest hustlingest player that is actually really lazy and doesn't deserve any of those monikers because that's me. Greg Stiemsma. e: RCarr, that vaguely sounds like how people describe Adrian Dantley. He was a post player but with the size of a guard, IIRC. Kibner fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 18:19
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I played last night and hit 12/18 from three over five games now I'm charging $50/hr for shooting lessons. As a bonus my brother was guarding me all night so I get to talk massive poo poo all week.
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Jan 30, 2014 18:38
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Intruder posted:Nothing feels worse than beating a guy then blowing the layup A long, long time ago a group of about fifteen guys would get together every weekend to play full court. Aside from defense and rebounding, I am terrible at basketball. Can't dribble, can barely shoot, it's embarrassing. One game I got a steal and nothing but empty court in front of me so I take off, my team starts yelling at me to stop but screw those guys, how hard could it be to make an uncontested layup? I end up just absolutely slamming the ball off the backboard while everyone tries their best not to laugh at me.
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Jan 30, 2014 18:53
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Intruder posted:Nothing feels worse than beating a guy then blowing the layup Oh god, yeah. I played pickup on a street court in Thailand on a school trip in college, against some local guys. Really good ball-handlers (I'm not, at all). I get the guy isolated at the top of the key, and decide for whatever reason I'm going to try and do that Kevin Durant double-crossover thing, with the big sweeping dribble and poo poo. This typically results in my getting the ball stolen or the guy not biting because I'm a lovely slow ball-handler. So I cross the guy, and it actually works. I break his ankles so hard he lands firmly on his rear end as I go blowing past him. I've got a clear line to the rim, and I pick-up my dribble still kind of overwhelmed I actually broke a guy's ankles. My spirit is soaring. Unfortunately, so is the ball as I airball the wide-open layup over the rim. The group of Thai schoolchildren watching all laugh. Probably a low point in my pickup career.
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Jan 30, 2014 19:23
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I'd say my game most closely resembles someone like Grant Hill - not in terms of usually being the best player on the court (I was ok, not great), but in terms of his all around, jack-of-all-trades master-of-none game and relative size. I played every position on the court for significant stretches in organized games except SG (I couldn't shoot from the outside until I got contact lenses after university). I was a strong passer, good ball handler, enjoyed banging down low for rebounds, slashed to the hoop really well, used to be able to jump and hit off balance Derrick Rose layups. My weakness in organized games was lacking the "killer instinct" for scoring - I just didn't think to shoot much, and usually deferred to the couple guys on my team who looked to score all the time. So maybe more like Scottie Pippen I guess? I was a good defender. So yeah, I'm gonna change that to Scottie Pippen. And my best friend and teammate was Larry Bird - the athletic gifts of a physically handicapped giraffe, but he could shoot lights out, loved the pressure situations, and had terrible hair. If Declan reads this thread - for further proof that Larry could beat Pippen, my friend (Larry) beat me (Pippen) one on one 80% of the time, even tho my game was better suited for that style. He just knew my game and frustrated me. Edit\/\/\/ yeah probably. The B_36 fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 19:54
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The B_36 posted:I'd say my game most closely resembles someone like Grant Hill - not in terms of usually being the best player on the court (I was ok, not great), but in terms of his all around, jack-of-all-trades master-of-none game and relative size. I played every position on the court for significant stretches in organized games except SG (I couldn't shoot from the outside until I got contact lenses after university). I was a strong passer, good ball handler, enjoyed banging down low for rebounds, slashed to the hoop really well, used to be able to jump and hit off balance Derrick Rose layups. My weakness in organized games was lacking the "killer instinct" for scoring - I just didn't think to shoot much, and usually deferred to the couple guys on my team who looked to score all the time. So maybe more like Scottie Pippen I guess? I was a good defender. So yeah, I'm gonna change that to Scottie Pippen. And my best friend and teammate was Larry Bird - the athletic gifts of a physically handicapped giraffe, but he could shoot lights out, loved the pressure situations, and had terrible hair. you are probably just a scrub
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Jan 30, 2014 20:01
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Declan MacManus posted:you are probably just a scrub anyone who doesn't have a killer instinct in street ball can go take a seat by the ladies
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Jan 30, 2014 20:11
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Doltos posted:anyone who doesn't have a killer instinct in street ball can go take a seat by the ladies agreed man if i get the ball and i'm not open for three i fake and dribble in for an even worse shot
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Jan 30, 2014 20:14
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Doltos posted:anyone who doesn't have a killer instinct in street ball can go take a seat by the ladies I had a killer instinct in everything other than organized, official, 5 on 5, school vs school games. I was a leading scorer in more informal avenues - street ball, intramurals, 2 on 2 on my backyard court, even at the basketball camp I went to in the States for 3 years. I think my coaches were way to structured in their playcalling - we always had set plays that were supposed to run precisely, generally to get the best shooter the shot, or to get it down low. I always did better in a more free flowing offense where I could use my creativity and improvise.
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Jan 30, 2014 20:44
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anyone who has a self-proclaimed "killer instinct" and is not good gets laughed off the court
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Jan 30, 2014 20:44
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mynameisjohn posted:anyone who has a self-proclaimed "killer instinct" and is not good gets laughed off the court noted killer instinct havers: mj, brian scalabrine
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Jan 30, 2014 20:50
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The proudest moment in my basketball "career" was when the former coach of the Danish national team told me that I had a gift for rebounding. On my team I play a Anderson Varejao/Joakim Noah role. Anchoring the defense, rebounding, but also sometimes distributing from the high post.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:04
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Jummy posted:A long, long time ago a group of about fifteen guys would get together every weekend to play full court. Aside from defense and rebounding, I am terrible at basketball. Can't dribble, can barely shoot, it's embarrassing. One game I got a steal and nothing but empty court in front of me so I take off, my team starts yelling at me to stop but screw those guys, how hard could it be to make an uncontested layup? I end up just absolutely slamming the ball off the backboard while everyone tries their best not to laugh at me. I did this exact same thing in the teachers vs. students basketball game in high school with like half the school watching.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:15
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mynameisjohn posted:anyone who has a self-proclaimed "killer instinct" and is not good gets laughed off the court The guy who would unironically yell swish every time just before he clanked a long 3
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Jan 30, 2014 21:24
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Doltos posted:The guy who would unironically yell swish every time just before he clanked a long 3 The guy who yells "and 1" every time he's fouled and it never goes in
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Jan 30, 2014 21:27
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Intruder posted:The guy who yells "and 1" every time he's fouled and it never goes in Then argues that the foul should count and they should get the ball back since it didn't go in
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Jan 30, 2014 21:32
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There's someone unironically posting about having killer instinct in pickup basketball games and I just want to pause and savor that for a little while.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:35
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Things I have shouted on a basketball court upon attempting a shot -wet -deuces -cookies -good -bottoms -woo (in a ric flair voice) And variations for bank shots: -bank -bounce -glass -board -corner -boing -bang-bang I don't shut up, ever, it is probably really irritating
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Jan 30, 2014 21:37
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Declan MacManus posted:Things I have shouted on a basketball court upon attempting a shot So you're Carlos Boozer.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:37
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i say wet and bang bang all the time
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Jan 30, 2014 21:54
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Doltos posted:So you're Carlos Boozer. I have never called for an and-1 I ain't no maricon
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Jan 30, 2014 22:07
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The best shot call is "game" when hitting a 2 when tied at 11  Alternatively "wet" and "rain dance" are always acceptable.
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Jan 30, 2014 22:20
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It's important to let people know when you are dropping bombs on their moms.
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Jan 30, 2014 22:25
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I also make whirring noises when I gather up because I am a robot from the future sent to rain bank shots down on your feeble 2-3 zone
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Jan 30, 2014 22:39
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THE RED MENACE posted:The best shot call is "game" when hitting a 2 when tied at 11 you can't win on two what scrub rear end court are you playing on this ain't the loving ABA
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Jan 30, 2014 22:50
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I never talk more poo poo when I play than against the guys that yell "MISS" every time as you're shooting. That one thing pisses me off and makes me start talking like MJ or Payton for the rest of the game
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Jan 30, 2014 22:52
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I never hear miss its always "short" which is way more annoying because there's no way that they would possibly know that the shot was short when its barely made it into the air.
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Jan 30, 2014 22:57
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The most I say out loud is and one. I say game to myself if I'm shooting what could be a game winner. God I'm lame fuckkkk.
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Jan 30, 2014 23:43
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