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Fangz
Jul 5, 2007

Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!
I watched this well after I played the game, but this battle always reminds me of this scene in the Soviet era epic, The Battle of Moscow....

http://youtu.be/cnNyJhqaf5Q

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cokerpilot
Apr 23, 2010

Battle Brothers! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Lord General! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Emperor, why do I put up with these people?

Fangz posted:

I watched this well after I played the game, but this battle always reminds me of this scene in the Soviet era epic, The Battle of Moscow....

http://youtu.be/cnNyJhqaf5Q

You will find any excuse to post that won't you chief.

Fangz
Jul 5, 2007

Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

cokerpilot posted:

You will find any excuse to post that won't you chief.

Yes.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug
Historical Notes: Mission 4

Flakpanzer I



By the time WWII began, PzI vehicles were horribly outclassed by everything with armour on the battlefield. Due to Germany's limited industrial output, they couldn't really afford to throw away perfectly good vehicles, so old tanks were used to create self-propelled guns. One of these was the 2 cm FlaK 38 auf Selbstfahrlafette PzKpfw I (self propelled 2 cm anti-aircraft gun model 1938 on the PzKpfw I mount), more commonly known as Flakpanzer I. As the name implies, it was a 20 mm anti-aircraft gun on a PzI chassis, with the turret and turret platform removed. Due to poor protection for the crew and insufficient firepower to counter Soviet ground attack aircraft, these vehicles were not very effective.

Sturmpanzer I Bison




Another vehicle made from an obsolete PzI, the 15 cm sIG 33 (Sf) auf Panzerkampfwagen I (self propelled 15 cm heavy infantry cannon on the PzKpfw I chassis). The usefulness of mobile artillery in support of infantry was discovered way back in WWI, and 150 mm is a hell of a lot of firepower to have with you. Unfortunately, the vehicle was huge, unstable, and the chassis was overloaded. It could not carry any ammunition on board, and any shells had to be carried separately, leaving the loaders fully exposed to the enemy.

FlaK 36



The German 8.8 cm FlaK (Flugzeugabwehrkanone: aircraft defense gun) family (models 1918, 1936, and 1937) were used throughout the war on all fronts. Since Germany lacked powerful anti-tank cannons early on in the war, they were frequently pressed into service as such (in fact, I'm pretty sure they show up in popular culture more often in anti-tank roles than anti-aircraft roles), especially against heavily armoured Matilda, Churchill, and KV tanks. While the same popular culture greatly overestimates its amour piercing performance, it is still a very credible threat to any vehicle in this game.

The gun came on both a towed and stationary mount, both of which offered 360 degree range. The towed mount had more mobility, but combined with the large weight and height (see the above photo, comparing its size to an actual anti-tank gun), a FlaK gun would be spotted and destroyed quickly.

A tank version of this gun, KwK 36, was put into the Tiger tank, which we will run into later.

PaK 40



When the Germans encountered the new Soviet KV and T-34 tanks, their most powerful anti-tank gun at the time, the 50 mm PaK 38 (Panzerabwehrkanone: tank defense gun) was woefully insufficient against them. Development of a new, more powerful anti-tank gun was given priority, and by late 1941, PaK 40s have hit the battlefield. Unlike the huge and clumsy FlaK guns, these guns were small, light (well, lighter) and much more dangerous foes. Tank versions of these guns were mounted on PzIV tanks and various tank destroyers.

BM-37



The Red Army put a great emphasis on artillery support for its infantry units. Regiments and larger had batteries of cannons and mortars at their disposal, while battalion sized units and smaller had light mortars, mostly meant for bombarding entrenched enemies at short ranges (but could be used to shoot up to three kilometers). The 82 mm mortar was also compatible with captured ~81 mm ammunition from nations of various potential enemies.

Anti-tank rifles



"When an anti-tank rifleman stands in the way, a fascist tank shall not pass!"

Prior to Operation Barbarossa, the primary anti-tank weapon in the Red Army was the 45 mm AT gun. After the German invasion, it turned out there weren't enough of them to go around, and that the anti-tank capability of infantry units needed to be increased. The solution to this was the creation of an anti-tank rifle that fired a 14.5x114 mm bullet at 1000 m/s, making it an effective measure against German light and medium tanks.

The primary anti-tank rifles were the PTRD (Degtyaryev), a single shot rifle, and the PTRS (Simonov), a semi-automatic one with a 5-round magazine. The Simonov rifle had a higher effective rate of fire, but was also heavier and more expensive. Both designs survived in the Red Army until the end of the war.

Various prototype designs had higher and higher loads for the 14.5 mm round. For example, the Blum AT rifle, firing the same bullet at 1500 m/s was even capable of piercing the side of a Tiger tank, but it was never adopted into service.

KV-2



Although the KV proved itself in Finland against Finnish AT guns, it could not do much against powerful concrete fortifications. The need for a tank with a powerful gun was obvious, and various engineering design bureaus got to work. One of these was the "KV with large turret" (the KV-2 index came much later). The advantage of this design was that it had great parts commonality with the KV heavy tank, and even used the same turret ring. The turret, however, was much larger, in order to accommodate the 152 mm gun. This made the already heavy tank slower and clumsier. By the time the design was finished, the Mannerheim line was already broken, and it was never used for its primary purpose.

By the time Operation Barbarossa began, only a handful of KV-2 tanks even had crews. The Red Army simply had no use for them, but everything with tracks and a gun saw battle that year. Even though KV-2 tanks had no armour piercing ammunition, their HE shells could destroy any enemy tank. And boy, what a destruction. Here is what happens when a tank is hit with a 76 mm HE shell:



Pretty bad, but most of the tank is still there. Some of the crew probably even survived. And a 152 mm HE shell?



Not pleasant.

Read more about the KV-2 here and a battle where a single KV-2 stopped a German Kampfgruppe for 24 hours here.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Games like Call of Duty really love to show the PTRS and PTRD as essentially World War II equivalent of the M82 and other modern .50 caliber rifles. They think that you can just lug them around and use them as big sniper rifles.

Yeah, good luck with that. A fully assembled, unloaded PTRS weighs 46 pounds and is about 7 feet long. You can haul it for short distances to reposition, but nobody's going to be sprinting into a foxhole and popping heads with it.

Also, I happened to find this image of one and it's the goddamn funniest thing I've seen all day:

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

chitoryu12 posted:

Games like Call of Duty really love to show the PTRS and PTRD as essentially World War II equivalent of the M82 and other modern .50 caliber rifles. They think that you can just lug them around and use them as big sniper rifles.

Ummmm, which Call of Duty game(s) are you talking about?

The PTRS-41 is the only one to show up in Call of Duty 1 and only in one level. I can't think of any Call of Duty game where you have them in your inventory.

The only game that comes to mind that has the PTRS-41 as a weapon you can choose and use is Red Orchestra 2 (Not sure if 1 had it), your move speed is reduced.

38-46~ lbs is heavy, sure, but not impossible to carry around.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Jobbo_Fett posted:

The PTRS-41 is the only one to show up in Call of Duty 1 and only in one level. I can't think of any Call of Duty game where you have them in your inventory.
Yeah they showed up in Pavlov's House, but they were stationary there. And oh my GOD were you committing your life to luck and the Lord every time you mounted one of the bastards.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Ummmm, which Call of Duty game(s) are you talking about?

World at War. Single and multi.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

chitoryu12 posted:

Games like Call of Duty really love to show the PTRS and PTRD as essentially World War II equivalent of the M82 and other modern .50 caliber rifles. They think that you can just lug them around and use them as big sniper rifles.

Yeah, good luck with that. A fully assembled, unloaded PTRS weighs 46 pounds and is about 7 feet long. You can haul it for short distances to reposition, but nobody's going to be sprinting into a foxhole and popping heads with it.

Also, I happened to find this image of one and it's the goddamn funniest thing I've seen all day:



The part in CoD:WaW where the guy was running around with a scoped PRTS and a scoped Mosin is hilarious. You'd be able to run maybe 100 meters before lying down and hedging your bets on the super duper VIP general coming to you. And the worst part is that it couldn't even penetrate any armour, so it was essentially just another rifle with a different model.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Coolguye posted:

Yeah they showed up in Pavlov's House, but they were stationary there. And oh my GOD were you committing your life to luck and the Lord every time you mounted one of the bastards.

On the hardest difficulty? Sure. But every CoD game is poo poo on hard/veteran difficulty because they expect you to run into ever fight, dodge 40 grenades everytime you stop to take a breather and have a .00001 millisecond reaction time.


The Merry Marauder posted:

World at War. Single and multi.

I just looked at that and I raged hard as gently caress.

Specifically these two parts:

"The PTRS-41 is unlocked at level 57. It is classed in-game as a bolt-action rifle, although it operates as a semi-automatic rifle."

"The functionality of the PTRS-41 is changed from an anti-tank rifle to a scoped sniper rifle"

Clearly, Treyarch has no clue what the gently caress it is and just threw it in the game because... it's world war 2 and russian, I guess? And let's not take the game that brought us Nazi Zombies as some sort of historical piece of art deserving of any praise.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
/\ Not to be dismissive, but the CoD wiki and its fourteen-year-old editors aren't super-concerned with accuracy.

Ensign Expendable posted:

And the worst part is that it couldn't even penetrate any armour, so it was essentially just another rifle with a different model.

Oh, no, you could hurt the tanks with it. Certainly not enough, but you could get kills with help.

The Merry Marauder fucked around with this message at 02:31 on May 5, 2014

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

The Merry Marauder posted:

Oh, no, you could hurt the tanks with it. Certainly not enough, but you could get kills with help.

I haven't played multiplayer, only the single player mission where you couldn't shoot through the gun shields on the halftracks shooting at you.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
Ah, yeah, that was silly. It had good penetration on humans, though. There was an achievement for killing three enemies with one bullet in SP, and the Simonov made that easy.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

The Merry Marauder posted:

/\ Not to be dismissive, but the CoD wiki and its fourteen-year-old editors aren't super-concerned with accuracy.

It's not the wikis fault though, its Treyarch for loving up an anti-tank rifle with a pretty well defined history.

Even Company of Heroes 2 does a better job at WW2 then Treyarch/Activision and I know how much people poo poo on THAT game.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Jobbo_Fett posted:

On the hardest difficulty? Sure. But every CoD game is poo poo on hard/veteran difficulty because they expect you to run into ever fight, dodge 40 grenades everytime you stop to take a breather and have a .00001 millisecond reaction time.
Even on Regular you would habitually get your rear end kicked because the RNG came up with 'your number' on that crap. I did an LP of it on Hardened, boiling down the game into pretty 'reliable' strategies all around, and I left a death in there just to show how arbitrary it can be where you just grasp that stupid gun and the PzIV you're shooting at just dials you in and annihilates you in a quarter second.

Probably fairly accurate to the unfair feeling of war, though.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Coolguye posted:

Even on Regular you would habitually get your rear end kicked because the RNG came up with 'your number' on that crap. I did an LP of it on Hardened, boiling down the game into pretty 'reliable' strategies all around, and I left a death in there just to show how arbitrary it can be where you just grasp that stupid gun and the PzIV you're shooting at just dials you in and annihilates you in a quarter second.

Probably fairly accurate to the unfair feeling of war, though.

World at War, Veteran Difficulty, USA Campaign. Be prepared to play a game that makes you want to quit for a week because you can't move forward, can't move back and every enemy is a Cy Young award winner.

If you want the unfair feeling of war, you can easily portray that through good character story and proper story-telling. One example of that would be the US Marine that dies right before you are rescued in the first mission for the USA campaign.


I'm going to get lynched for my CoH2 comment

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Jobbo_Fett posted:

World at War, Veteran Difficulty, USA Campaign. Be prepared to play a game that makes you want to quit for a week because you can't move forward, can't move back and every enemy is a Cy Young award winner.

If you want the unfair feeling of war, you can easily portray that through good character story and proper story-telling. One example of that would be the US Marine that dies right before you are rescued in the first mission for the USA campaign.


I'm going to get lynched for my CoH2 comment

The worst part is that apparently, World at War will literally spawn grenades out of nowhere on your position just to drive you out of cover. Which is what ends up making it so impossible: you have to stay behind cover as much as possible because all of the enemies have superhuman aim and faster reflexes than you and two or three pistol rounds will kill you dead, but then they start forcing you to move out of cover to avoid instant death.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
Some CoD games on Veteran are much more puzzlers than shooters, as one must find the correct sequence of maneuvers to execute so as not to be evaporated.

Much like some of the missions in this game, he said, seamlessly transitioning!

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

The Merry Marauder posted:

Some CoD games on Veteran are much more puzzlers than shooters, as one must find the correct sequence of maneuvers to execute so as not to be evaporated.

Much like some of the missions in this game, he said, seamlessly transitioning!

I mean, Men of War can be pretty difficult. But at least it's usually fair, in the sense that everyone plays by the same rules all the time.

If it were more like Call of Duty on Veteran, they would randomly spawn Tiger tanks inside the buildings your units are using as cover.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011

Coolguye posted:

Even on Regular you would habitually get your rear end kicked because the RNG came up with 'your number' on that crap. I did an LP of it on Hardened, boiling down the game into pretty 'reliable' strategies all around, and I left a death in there just to show how arbitrary it can be where you just grasp that stupid gun and the PzIV you're shooting at just dials you in and annihilates you in a quarter second.

Probably fairly accurate to the unfair feeling of war, though.

In actual war war though, you're not stuck to one funneled killzone of waist high cover surrounded by potato men who's only purpose in life is to miss and die.
It should also be mentioned that fighting a tank from the front isn't that healthy, even when you have super sweet Schreck's, bazooka's or fausts which really changed the name of the game for infantry facing tanks.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Samuel posted:

In actual war war though, you're not stuck to one funneled killzone of waist high cover surrounded by potato men who's only purpose in life is to miss and die.
It should also be mentioned that fighting a tank from the front isn't that healthy, even when you have super sweet Schreck's, bazooka's or fausts which really changed the name of the game for infantry facing tanks.

The Pavlov's House mission is a static defense mission where you take the famous house from the Germans, and then hold it from a counterattack, which it took a LOT of during the war. Volumes aside, the tactical situation the game puts you in is relatively reasonable. I might as well just link it real quick so we can see what the score is and stop talking about it, since this is officially leagues off topic.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011
Nonsense WWII is always relevant in WWII threads, especially when it concerns men and a half!


All Germans fear Pavlov's party penthouse of doom.

Pavlov's House gained its popular name from Sergeant Yakov Pavlov, who commanded the platoon that seized the building and defended it during the quagmire of Stalingrad, The house itself was a four-story building in the center of Stalingrad, built perpendicular to the embankment of the river Volga and overseeing the "9th January Square", a large square named for Bloody Sunday. BS being a day on the 9th of January 1905 where unarmed demonstrators marched to present a petition to Tsar Nicholas II but were fired upon by the Imperial Guard, which is another story about really lovely military communication.

The strategic benefit of the house was that it defended a key section of the Volga bank. The tactical benefit of the house was its position on a cross-street, giving the defenders a 1 km line of sight to the north, south and west. The house was attacked by German soldiers, while the Soviet 13th Guards Rifle Division was ordered to defend it. The platoon was led by Junior Sgt. Yakov Pavlov, a non-commissioned officer that made it as an acting platoon commander since the unit's lieutenants and senior sergeants had all been wounded or killed.

After the initial skirmish to take the house and a resupply with goodies and dudes to bring his platoon up to 25 men understrength. Pavlov was commanded to fortify the building and defend it to the last bullet and the last man and ordered it to be surrounded with layers of barbed wire and minefields, and machine-gun posts in every available window, along with a trench leading back to the river for resupply and communications. In the early stages of the defense, Pavlov discovered that an anti-tank rifle he had placed on the roof was particularly effective when ambushing unsuspecting German tanks their thin turret-roof armor became exposed to the AT rifle from above, and were unable to elevate their guns to retaliate.
The Germans attacked the apartments several times a day for two month's. Though each time German infantry and tanks tried to cross the square, Pavlov's men would lay down a withering barrage of everything they could get their hands on, till they were eventually relieved by a soviet counter attack on November 25th

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug
Elevated AT rifles worked well against Panthers at Kursk. I wonder if it would work in game, I haven't had a chance to get a height advantage on anything with an antitank rifle yet.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

Ensign Expendable posted:

Elevated AT rifles worked well against Panthers at Kursk. I wonder if it would work in game, I haven't had a chance to get a height advantage on anything with an antitank rifle yet.

Don't Panthers show up late in this game? I don't recall seeing too many...

Saint Celestine
Dec 17, 2008

Lay a fire within your soul and another between your hands, and let both be your weapons.
For one is faith and the other is victory and neither may ever be put out.

- Saint Sabbat, Lessons
Grimey Drawer
Theres one German mission thats hilarious.

I think the Defense of Pomerania. 10 waves of Soviet tanks charge at your gunline.

You can eventually collect-

2x King Tigers
1x Nashorn
1x Tiger
2x Panthers
5+ Jagdpanzers
Smattering of other random stuff.

If you get lucky, and have OCD, you can salvage a lot of the soviet tanks, a smattering of KV-85s, KV-2s, SU 85s, SU100s, T34/85s.

I was bored and collected something ridiculous like 60 tanks.

Made myself a goddamn tank battalion.

FelistheIdiot
Dec 10, 2011

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Don't Panthers show up late in this game? I don't recall seeing too many...

They do, since the main campaign spans the whole war.

It's an uphill fight against fortifications though, so the chances of getting a good angle with an AT rifle against a Panther is rather nil.

Regardless of their IRL performance, AT rifles in Men of War are rather useless for penetrating anything other than light armor. They can, however, knock the treads off a tank. Knocking the treads off a stationary tank doesn't help too much, but what's really nice is if you knock them off while the tank is in motion; it will usually keep going on one side and leave a nice juicy flank to the enemy.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug
Historical Notes Mission 4: KV-2 markings

I forgot about it the first time around, but the slogans on the KV-2 deserve a mention. As a reminder, one side reads "from Chelyabinsk farmers" and the other "strike the occupants". In the Great Patriotic War, many tanks went into battle with names or slogans painted on the side. There were cases of tank commanders ordering slogans written on their tanks themselves, but from what I can tell most were caused by either the name being awarded or picked by the person/organization paying for the tank, and a a fuckton of people donated money for tanks to be built. Typically the name would be from the organization or group that paid for them, such as Workers of Moscow, Communists of the Donbass, something like that. In this case, it would be members of collective farms of Chelyabinsk. Except, one small problem, like I mentioned before, all KV-2s were built prior to the start of the Great Patriotic War, so it would not be bearing a slogan like that on its side.

As far as I can discover, Chelyabinsk collective farmers did donate for a tank column, but for a T-34-85 one.



As for "Strike the occupants", I can't find any photos of a KV-2 with that slogan. However, I could find a KV-1 with it.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011
Speaking of people who paid for tanks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6N14sfIvj4

Mariya Oktyabrskaya (Ukrainian). Hero of the USSR.
It's the summer of 1942 in the City of Tomsk. A shabbily dressed woman just entered a post office and she is mailing a telegram.
The telegraphist accepts the letter and she reads with astonishment:

MOSCOW KREMLIN
TO JOSEPH VISSARIONOVICH STALIN

DEAR JOSEPH VISSARIONOVICH
MY HUSBAND REGIMENTAL COMMISSAR OKTYABRSKY ILYA FEDOTOVICH WAS KILLED IN ACTION DEFENDING THE MOTHERLAND
I WANT TO REVENGE FASCIST DOGS FOR HIS DEATH AND FOR DEATH OF SOVIET PEOPLE TORTURED BY FASCIST BARBARIANS
FOR THIS PURPOSE I'VE DEPOSITED ALL MY PERSONAL SAVINGS - 50.000 RUBLES - TO THE NATIONAL BANK IN ORDER TO BUILD A TANK
I KINDLY ASK TO NAME THE TANK AS "THE COMBAT GIRLFRIEND" AND TO SEND ME TO THE FRONTLINE AS A DRIVER OF THE SAID TANK
I HAVE A SPECIALTY OF DRIVER, I HANDLE A MACHINE GUN IN PERFECTION, I'M A "VOROSHILOV'S SHOOTER" TITLE OWNER

MARIYA OKTYABRSKAYA"


As strange as it might sound, an answer from Kremlin arrived soon:
"Mariya Vasilyevna, thank you for your concern about the Armored Forces of the Red Army, your desire will be fulfilled.

Accept my greetings,
Commander-in-Chief Joseph Stalin.

Samuel fucked around with this message at 10:27 on May 7, 2014

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

"The Combat Girlfriend"

I'm pretty sure real life is secretly a series of comedic films and nobody notices.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

chitoryu12 posted:

"The Combat Girlfriend"

I'm pretty sure real life is secretly a series of comedic films and nobody notices.

"Подруга" is "friend that is a girl", not girlfriend, strictly speaking.

Samuel posted:


As strange as it might sound, an answer from Kremlin arrived soon:
"Mariya Vasilyevna, thank you for your concern about the Armored Forces of the Red Army, your desire will be fulfilled.

Accept my greetings,
Commander-in-Chief Joseph Stalin.

Stalin answered a ton of letters that were addressed to him by common people, strangely enough. Not all though, I don't think he answered any with crazy inventions (and a ton of those were sent in during the war).

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
Comrade Premier Stalin, truly a man of The People :ussr:


Isn't there a massive love-hate relationship going on in Russia over Stalin? In that there are still lines of people who mourn Stalin over his grave to this day but there are also huge numbers of people who hate him with a vengeance?

Xander77
Apr 6, 2009

Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.



Slaan posted:

Comrade Premier Stalin, truly a man of The People :ussr:


Isn't there a massive love-hate relationship going on in Russia over Stalin? In that there are still lines of people who mourn Stalin over his grave to this day but there are also huge numbers of people who hate him with a vengeance?
Edit - You know what? I'm going to leave this question to the distinguished Ensign, because covering that topic in-depth would require us to delve into current (and former) revisionist history, political psychology and just... general unpleasantness.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Ensign Expendable posted:

"Подруга" is "friend that is a girl", not girlfriend, strictly speaking.

I don't think changing it to "COMBAT FRIEND THAT IS A GIRL" does anything to make it less comedic. If anything, it makes it more hilarious.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

chitoryu12 posted:

I don't think changing it to "COMBAT FRIEND THAT IS A GIRL" does anything to make it less comedic. If anything, it makes it more hilarious.

"COMBAT FRIEND THAT IS A GIRL I SWEAR THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US MOM"

Slaan posted:

Comrade Premier Stalin, truly a man of The People :ussr:

Isn't there a massive love-hate relationship going on in Russia over Stalin? In that there are still lines of people who mourn Stalin over his grave to this day but there are also huge numbers of people who hate him with a vengeance?

The short of it is that when he wasn't too busy executing people left and right his reign wasn't really horrible for the most part, and he killed less people by actively killing them than the new government has since 1991 through economic reforms and dismantling Soviet welfare structures. How much of it happened because of him and how much of it happened in spite of him is up to debate. It's kind of a "made the trains run on time" thing.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011
COMBAT GIRLFRIEND, DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY FASCISTS XD

Would be so embarrassing to get shot by a tank with combat girlfriend on it.

Fangz
Jul 5, 2007

Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Samuel posted:

COMBAT GIRLFRIEND, DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY FASCISTS XD

Would be so embarrassing to get shot by a tank with combat girlfriend on it.

I think you will be too busy dying because (A) she ended up in a Guards tank brigade and (B) we're talking about a Hero of The Soviet Union.

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011

Fangz posted:

I think you will be too busy dying because (A) she ended up in a Guards tank brigade and (B) we're talking about a Hero of The Soviet Union.

I don't think you understand that (A) I know because I posted the story in the first place (B)Dying is a direct result of being shot most of the time :doh:

CommissarMega
Nov 18, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER
To be honest, I'd expect anything named COMBAT GIRLFRIEND to be a killing machine. It's stuff like KILLER OF FASCISTS that would end up duds. It's the same way in online gaming :v:

Samuel
Nov 5, 2011
Say that to DEATHSTALKER_D4_W33dG4m3r69

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Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTR1UFmb4Tk
Awfulquality audio, but with lyrics in description

Let's see what Alex has been up to this whole time.



The Germans have been stopped, and are gradually being pushed back.



A salient is created at Rzhev, which could be used by the Germans to launch another offensive at Moscow.



This salient needs to be eliminated to prevent the possibility of such an attack.



Penalty Company. March 20th, 1942. Azhevo village, West of Rzhev



Moscow, December 10th, 1941

Two weeks after breaking out of captivity, our hero doesn't seem in any better shape.



The papers we recovered are being closely scrutinized by this mysterious figure. His insignia indicate that he is a Major of...something. The game implies he's NKVD, but his collar insignia isn't the right colour.



Mysterious AND smug. Just look at that drat face. He doesn't trust us at all.



Alex reiterates his adventures.



We'll see. But for now...



The smug bastard reclines into the shadows dramatically.



Azhevo settlement, March 20th, 1942

Holy poo poo, "for now" turned into three months. NKVD fuckers work slowly.



We're greeted by an allegedly NKVD something again. His sleeve says he's a Lieutenant, his collar says he's a Captain.



He offers us to repay our debt to the Motherland with our blood.



As usual, the disembodied voice commands us. We start in front of these trenches.



The Germans have set up some pretty big guns here.



We want to move our forces through this road, but the artillery on the hill would destroy them.



Our company has to move up to this village and clear out the Germans holding it. This line of defense is only guarded by machineguns.



Then we must proceed to overrun the second line of defense. The Germans have artillery here.



Once we break through, we must hold the hill.



The Germans will want it back, so we must fortify and defend against counterattacks.



Maxim Kovalev: Ready your weapons!



Maxim Kovalev: Forward!



Objective added: knock the enemy out of the first line trenches.

The rest of the company starts running. The squad under our control does not, for now.



Alexei Kuznetsov: Forward, brothers! If we are destined to die, we will take as many of the fascist scum with us as we can! For the Motherland! Forward!

You tell 'em, Alex. Note that even though our character is looking much better at this point, his avatar is still beaten up.



Now our squad automatically runs forward. You'll see why soon. Hey, those are shoulderboards on that Sergeant! drat it, game, we are still in 1942!



Gleb Ilyin: Careful, there are mines all around!

The cutscene still hasn't ended. You can manually skip it with the button, all the dialogue will play out anyway.



Finally, it ends!

Denis Ushakov: Take out the machinegunner in the middle! He'll cut us all down!

That machinegunner is a massive pain in the rear end. If you think you can bypass him by attacking through the right flank, you are wrong. There are three machinegunners there, plus you won't trigger any reinforcements.



Vladimir Kozlov: So this is how it is! Trying to run, traitors? Back, you bastards!



The troops in the trenches turn hostile and start firing on retreating soldiers. This is why we automatically ran forward when the mission began. If we did not, the troops would fire on us as well.



You get quite a few troops, more than you can select into one squad. Their concentrated fire should take out the machinegunner in a few seconds.



Oleg Bykov: The Fritz's motorized infantry has arrived to reinforce the center! Hold on, brothers!

drat, as if there wasn't enough of them already.



Rostislav Suvorov: Guys, there's a trench to the left! There is almost no one left! Let's go, follow me!

Your allies periodically give you an update of the situation. The left trench is indeed safer, you will run facefirst into two machineguns if you go right.



Maksim Kovalev: More Fritz on the right! Hold the right flank! Hold, motherfucker!

Not my circus, not my monkey, comrade :colbert: My first objective is right up front!



Objective complete: take the territory approaching the church.

You can see the automatic squad system at work here. When I started, my men were tightly packed, and the game grouped them together. Now they are spread out, and the game only groups the guys that are up against the barn. The rest are scattered along the trenches.

Oh, at this point, you will probably notice how poorly your squad was equipped. No grenades, barely any ammunition. Not exactly "the one with the rifle shoots" territory, but you should still loot the Germans for ammo now, if you haven't already.



The second line of defense has artillery, and we just entered its range. We're safe behind cover, right?



Haha, nope. This game features fully destructible cover. The barn should last a while, right?



Vladimir Kozlov: Hold on, soldiers! Soon you will receive help! Do not give up your positions!



Oh balls, this barn is not going to be around for long.

Oleg Petrov: Guys, help is here! The Germans will feel it now!



Help is here! More infantry and two T-26 model 1939 tanks. We saw the AI call in some of these in the last mission, but I didn't use them, since I would show them off in this one anyway.



Nikolai Sherbakov: Look, more Germans! They are going to attack! Run to cover!



Viktor Sherbakov: I hope we're not late to the war! Now the Germans will taste our cooking!



Here it is, the T-26...tankette? That's not exactly fair, it has a cannon and a turret! Either way, our reinforcements contain two of them. These are light tanks, however, so don't count on them resisting any shell hits like our T-34s and KVs did.



Attack! Hopefully we can get to the guns before they fire on us.



Ooh, what have we here? Now, if only I can get to it...



poo poo. You really have to look out for the guns.



Take that!



Oh crap, I'm in range of their hill defenses! Better withdraw.



I'm going to take this tank with me when I go, however.



Its turret is jammed, so let's repeat the trick with the repair kit from the second mission. You can see how poorly supplied we were. This rifleman has no more ammo left, just grenades.



All fixed up and ready to go! I'm running short on guys though. I gather up all the tankers that survived when my T-26 was knocked out and put them into the T-34.



There are Germans inside the church as well, don't forget to take them out when you retake it.



Objective complete: capture the territory around the church.




Vladimir Kozlov: Soon our mechanized corps will move through this road. Take the height and cover the convoy! Command issued you some tanks for help, they are on their way.

As you can see, not just the hill, but also its flanks, are protected by AT guns. Taking it won't be easy, and you will likely lose many tanks before you notice where all the guns are.



Here are our reinforcements! All tanks this time, no infantry. All model 1940s, too. A tank this old would be a rarity at the front, I don't know where they found this many.



Objective added: capture height 243



Here's a good view of the hill. Count the AT guns!



After the fourth or fifth try, I manage to make it up the hill without losses.



Objective added: hold the height and allow the motorized column to move into enemy territory.

We get five minutes to fortify. Pretty generous, especially since I don't have much infantry left, and not that much fortifying to do.



The Germans left some artillery for us back here. It's not particularly powerful, but better than nothing. Two of my men take the PaK 41, two more sit in a PaK 40 that survived the assault.



I only have one infantryman left, so he can sit in this AA gun. It's not going to do much, but there are occasional air raids to defend from.



Our column is here! Lots of vehicles, lots of men.



Guns and tanks are in position, all we can do now is wait.



An AA halftrack is also behind the hill, parked under a camouflage net.



Ooh, here's a new vehicle, an American M2 halftrack.



The counter silently ticks over zero, and switches over to a countdown for holding the height.



A small German force attacks from the north. It's only infantry.



Right after that, another wave! This one is composed of more vehicles we haven't seen, a PzII Ausf L "Luchs" and...



A PzIV Ausf G. Remember the awkward short barreled PzIV from the second mission? This one's gun stretched out to 43 calibers, and it now represents a credible threat to our T-34s.



If not dealt with immediately, it will ruin your day.



A technical comes to our aid, helping out with the infantry escort.



While I was fighting the PzIV, another climbed up the hill!



I managed to lock its turret and get some of my surviving tankers inside. They won't be able to fire the cannon, but at least they can use the machineguns.



More new tanks! There are PzIII Ausf Js, not much different from the ones we've seen in the earlier missions. They are being very shy though, and don't want to get up the hill. Suits me fine, just over a minute to go!



The machinegun comes in handy for dealing with advancing infantry.



I send my genius tankers to get the second AT gun and fire at the Germans' flanks, but they get stuck on this box. Whatever, I win anyway.

Objective complete: hold the height and allow the motorized column to move into enemy territory.



I shot this tank so hard it changed colour! Also heh, "fahrt".



NKVD soldiers are reclaiming guns from the penalty company.



The soldiers line up to hand in their weapons.



Is that you, Patrick Stewart?



The smug bastard with glasses is here.



Smug Bastard: Hello, comrade Lieutenant.
Alex: Junior Lieutenant.



Smug Bastard: Not anymore. Tell me, do you know what the papers you gave me were about?
Alex: More or less.




Smug Bastard: Come, you will have a chance to get better acquainted with them.

A promotion and a reassignment! This was a good day for Alex.



Mission complete.

We took the height, and did not retreat from our positions. We, the surviving penalized men, were truly happy about this victory, as it was one of the most difficult in our memory. Many of us were wounded, but almost all of them smiled. Unlike regular soldiers, for whom a wound meant separation from their platoon and comrades, an enemy bullet or shrapnel for a penalized man was a pardon. A wound means your debt was paid in blood, and regular front-line days await you...

Enemies destroyed: 238 men, 31 vehicles
Allied losses: 124 men, 7 vehicles

Ensign Expendable fucked around with this message at 17:56 on May 12, 2014

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