R. Mute posted:

You've come quite a long way, OP. But have you considered making the final step and accepting our gracious lord and saviour Satan?

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

Alright I'll call it a day, starts to feel like some lame conversion attempt.

Satan... HaSatan, sure

Peace. I'm out

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

Alright I'll call it a day, starts to feel like some lame conversion attempt.

Satan... HaSatan, sure

Peace. I'm out

harper is bisexual posted:

So basically you'd believe in God if you had Wolverine from X-Men's mutant powers.

Who What Now posted:

And that starving African children deserved to have parasites eat their eyes from the inside out, don't forget that!

Sometimes I miss Victor. Not often, though.

Ytlaya posted:

There's something about people who are incredibly smug about being dumb (like the guy I'm quoting) that I find really funny/strange. I think it's because of the inherent contradiction.

Alter Ego posted:

Who's Victor? I hear his name bandied about whenever religion becomes the topic, and I have a vague recollection of a D&D poster who was hyperreligious, but that's all I've got.

"hurrrr[super posted:

2[/super]"]
A better analogy would be if someone walks into a championship tournament, says "GEE I THINK I MAY HAVE TRANSCENDED THE UNDERSTANDING OF SOME OF YOU GRANDMASTERS HERE, WANT TO JOIN MY NEW SCHOOL OF CHESS STRATEGY?", then loses by scholar's mate twice in the first round.

This person then refuses to leave his seat, claiming that he needs additional proof that the queen in f7 actually ontologically exists before he will admit defeat, and that the rules of the CHESS ESTABLISHMENT were unfairly biased against him by disallowing the possibility of his king being able to leapfrog pieces.

Then he pulls out an ancient shopping list from 1905 and claims that "1. Eggs" means 'The King', "2. Butter" means 'can', and "3. Milk" means 'leapfrog'. This is admissible evidence for his case because he has lived according to the dictates of this list since he was a teenager, and it has drastically improved his quality of life. When the referees tell him that this makes no loving sense, he drags them into a three hour debate over the precise meaning of the words 'makes', 'no', 'loving', and 'sense'.

When people point out that there is more than enough evidence to suggest his list is just a scrap of paper from some long-dead housewife's purse, he rather proudly points out how close-minded they are in dismissing outright the possibility that the list was in fact a secret coded message on the best way to live life, originally formulated by Atlanteans and passed down through the ages disguised as everyday documents. After all, if one starts with the presupposition that such a document exists, then it would be very fair to argue that it is indeed in the form of his shopping list.

Never mind that his previous interpretations of the list led to three convictions and time served for robbery, hate crimes, and murder. These were just unfortunate misinterpretations on his part of the list's true intentions, he says. The list itself is blameless. In fact, the Atlanteans deliberately obfuscated the true meaning of the list in this way, so that it would require multiple failed misinterpretations before one would happen across its TRUE meaning, and in doing so appreciate it all the more.

In fact, he does have some evidence to back up his claims. Why, just last week during his daily meditation on the list, he felt it telling him that something good was about to happen in his future. And yesterday, wouldn't you know it, he found a twenty dollar note on the sidewalk! Evidence of the list's prophetic powers if I ever saw one. And believe him, he has many more stories where that came from.

By now, the debate has splintered off into innumerable tangents, with the one man against literally every other player and referee present at the tournament. Finally, he graciously accepts the possibility of defeat in some of the myriad topics now being covered. OK, maybe the tallest player doesn't always get to go first. Fine, I will concede that there isn't much evidence to support my third-invisible-knight hypothesis. But that's all irrelevant. What he wants to concentrate on, and what nobody has yet been able to disprove, he adds, is the ability of the king to leapfrog over other pieces.

The argument drags on for weeks. Finally, one afternoon, the beet-faced referee exhausts his last reserves of decency and throws his arms up in frustration and despair. "YOU loving RETARD, HOW CAN YOU LAY CLAIM TO KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT CHESS STRATEGY WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN GRASP THE MOST BASIC RULES!?" He shouts, just as a new entrant walks through the door. "I'm sorry," replies the man calmly, "I simply cannot discuss the rules of chess with such an 'official' if you insist on using such strong and uncouth language. Please retract your insults or I will be forced to plug my ears whenever you say anything from now on."

Seeing only this last exchange, the new entrant pipes up. "He's right, you know. If he did something wrong, then you as the referee have every right to tell him he is so, but it should be done with a patient and thorough explanation of the details of his error. Hurling ridicule at him solves nothing and won't change anyone's mind."

The lazy eye of the retarded List-following, King-leapfrogging man twitches almost unnoticeably, as he cranes his head towards the source of this new voice. A welcoming smile cracks, inch by beaming inch, across his face. He licks his lips. He clears his throat.

"So glad to know decent people like you still value a polite discussion. Care for a game?"

harper is bisexual posted:

I don't really mind being called dumb by atheists / libertarians / men's rights activists (these are all basically the same in practice: mostly smug white males who have never tried to listen to God).

harper is bisexual posted:

I don't really mind being called dumb by atheists / libertarians / men's rights activists (these are all basically the same in practice: mostly smug white males who have never tried to listen to God).

harper is bisexual posted:

I don't really mind being called dumb by atheists / libertarians / men's rights activists (these are all basically the same in practice: mostly smug white males who have never tried to listen to God).

Alter Ego posted:

You're bad at trolling, hth

harper is bisexual posted:

Do you think it is a coincidence that Ayn Rand wrote a lot about how capitalism was great, feminism was terrible and God didn't exist. It's like a perfect storm of arrogance.

harper is bisexual posted:

Do you think it is a coincidence that Ayn Rand wrote a lot about how capitalism was great, feminism was terrible and God didn't exist. It's like a perfect storm of arrogance.

Sakarja posted:

Alter Ego posted:

^^^Jesus Christ. Dude is lucky people can't strangle other people over the internet. Was he for real or a troll on the level of TobleroneTriangular?

harper is bisexual posted:

It's sad that people can dump hundreds of posts about "invisible sky wizards" they gleaned of reddit when they were browsing for horse porn or whatever but if someone says that they agree with the majority of humanity that God exists it's all of a sudden bellringing time to circle the wagons and start accusing people of trolling.

Popular Thug Drink posted:

Its sad that you suck this bad at trolling.

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

Haha. Seriously, if you have any compassion in your heart: don't laugh.

I have a bi-polar/manic-depressive mind, that strays a lot.

Two days ago, I thought I was at the height of my faith, and decided to post this thread.

Today, I have converted back to some form on modern panentheism (god is the universe and beyond the universe), somewhat in the ancient Egyptian style.

But seriously. Don't laugh. It's pretty indecent to laugh at someone with a disease of any sort (the worse the disease, the more hurtful the effect).

I somehow don't think I'm a real Christian actually now.

Not trolling, but maybe people can't understand this if you don't have someone close to you with bi-polar disorder.

Anyway, peace out. I might start debating some politics sometime. Screw this religion stuff

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

Haha. Seriously, if you have any compassion in your heart: don't laugh.

I have a bi-polar/manic-depressive mind, that strays a lot.

Two days ago, I thought I was at the height of my faith, and decided to post this thread.

Today, I have converted back to some form on modern panentheism (god is the universe and beyond the universe), somewhat in the ancient Egyptian style.

But seriously. Don't laugh. It's pretty indecent to laugh at someone with a disease of any sort (the worse the disease, the more hurtful the effect).

I somehow don't think I'm a real Christian actually now.

Not trolling, but maybe people can't understand this if you don't have some close to you with bi-polar disorder.

Anyway, peace out. I might start debating some politics. Screw this religion stuff

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

Haha. Seriously, if you have any compassion in your heart: don't laugh.

I have a bi-polar/manic-depressive mind, that strays a lot.

Two days ago, I thought I was at the height of my faith, and decided to post this thread.

Today, I have converted back to some form on modern panentheism (god is the universe and beyond the universe), somewhat in the ancient Egyptian style.

But seriously. Don't laugh. It's pretty indecent to laugh at someone with a disease of any sort (the worse the disease, the more hurtful the effect).

I somehow don't think I'm a real Christian actually now.

Not trolling, but maybe people can't understand this if you don't have someone close to you with bi-polar disorder.

Anyway, peace out. I might start debating some politics sometime. Screw this religion stuff

harper is bisexual posted:

Thanks for posting this thread, Humbert. I'll pray for you.

Who What Now posted:

The Apostle Paul was the ur-MRA, so that one is square in your camp.

Popular Thug Drink posted:

Calvinism is easily the Third best Branch of the Sixth best religion, I agree with you there.

Miltank posted:

which are the top 5 religions?

Miltank posted:

the 5 relgions:

Christian
Catholic
Orthodox
Jew
Mormon

Everything else is worthless and Mormons are just there for the big boys to laugh at.

Miltank posted:

Seriously though, lmao if you are not a Calvanist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOUGR1SsTD0

SlipUp posted:

so what changed between yesterday and today that you can't use the word god anymore?

SocketWrench posted:

He saw xtians doing it on some board and is copying it to sell the trolling

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

The people who say that there are trolls, are the ones trolling; the people who do not belief in trolls, are not the trolls.

HumbleBeforeYou posted:

No one in school, work, or on the street speaks about 'trolls'.

harper is bisexual posted:

If you are new to this website you should know that this subforum is filled with right-wing trolls who refuse to consider the idea that they might not be able to learn everything they need to know about religion from South Park.