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I tried to fart but pushed too hard and accidentally Sarted
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Jul 2, 2014 22:58
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 00:17 |
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Get an existential tissue.
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Jul 2, 2014 22:59
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no stop
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Jul 2, 2014 22:59
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Sell your skidmarked underwear to a Japanese businessman
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Jul 2, 2014 22:59
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what the gently caress are you talking about college boy
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Jul 2, 2014 23:00
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i rated this thread, 4outof5
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Jul 2, 2014 23:00
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It's called gambling and losing op.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:00
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I'm having an existential issue as well. The skies are black and the visible world around me is covered in a white fungus resembling dandelions and little white shelled creatures look to be scuttling underneath them. Also I've met a double of myself and he tried to kill me. AMA
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Jul 2, 2014 23:01
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Cender posted:I'm having an existential issue as well. The skies are black and the visible world around me is covered in a white fungus resembling dandelions and little white shelled creatures look to be scuttling underneath them. How much acid did you take?
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Jul 2, 2014 23:02
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Cender posted:I'm having an existential issue as well. The skies are black and the visible world around me is covered in a white fungus resembling dandelions and little white shelled creatures look to be scuttling underneath them. post more please
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Jul 2, 2014 23:02
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The annual existential issue of Hustler is always depressing. "I had a terrible childhood, I have no marketable skills and have to sell my body, blah blah"
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Jul 2, 2014 23:04
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Broenheim posted:How much acid did you take? None, poo poo, could you imagine tripping while this poo poo is going down? 4outof5 posted:post more please There's also this chill dog with glowing blue eyes, but considering the rest going on I figured it wasn't as much of a pressing issue. I think he's trying to tell me something.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:05
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Here's a crappy cell phone pic, sorry for the instagram filter.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:12
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If you cant trust a fart, you should change your diet. More fiber and healthy food. Less disgusting whatever the f' youve been eating.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:15
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I guess you didn't see the NO EXIT sign on your rear end when you SARTRED. (I read once)
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Jul 2, 2014 23:21
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3XiStenTi4l R1sK has joined the server.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:37
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jBrereton posted:Get an existential tissue.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:43
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Old man rules: Never trust a fart, never waste a hard on.
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Jul 3, 2014 04:06
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Try ceasing to exist, that usually solves most problems
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Jul 3, 2014 04:07
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Shithouse Dave posted:Try ceasing to exist, that usually solves most problems nahh. that's too boring.
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Jul 3, 2014 04:12
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You play with fire, sometimes you get burned. Op.
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Jul 3, 2014 04:15
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Cender posted:Here's a crappy cell phone pic, sorry for the instagram filter. oh yeah i had that once. what you want to do is seek the Speaker of Five Truths - dude kind of looks like a mollusc hosed a spider, weird poo poo but you get over it after the first couple of hysterical nose bleeds - and ask him about the secret names of Those That Should Be But Are Not.
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Jul 3, 2014 04:15
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important - do not, i mean DO NOT, answer your cell phone
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Jul 3, 2014 04:16
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Sometimes you got to get in there with Wittgenstein's poker and get yourself started like a jar of ketchup.
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Jul 3, 2014 04:21
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heart and soul, rock and roll elbow smash up your butt hole
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Jul 3, 2014 04:22
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sharts, the sickness unto death...
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Jul 3, 2014 04:41
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~*
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Time to issue a tissue issue. As in all tissue rots; stinks too, op
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Jul 3, 2014 05:05
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Throw out yo underwears Wash yo rear end in the sink New lease on life.
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Jul 3, 2014 05:07
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If God can fart, but chooses not to Then why call him God?
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Jul 3, 2014 05:52
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paranoid randroid posted:important - do not, i mean DO NOT, answer your cell phone My phone started screaming after I uploaded that pic and then melted, I'm safe for now. Now if only these pasty blank white people with claws would stop trying to rend my flesh I could get a nice meal in, there's a perfectly good can of beans here that I just can't get around to opening due to the constant attempted rending.
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Jul 3, 2014 13:44
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I tried to fart but pushed too hard and now my pants are full of smelly matter They start to fall; I've lost them all yeah, my pants are full of stinky maaaaaaaaatter
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Jul 3, 2014 14:03
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4outof5 posted:I tried to fart but pushed too hard and accidentally Sarted That sounds like a personal problem
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Jul 3, 2014 19:50
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Cender posted:My phone started screaming after I uploaded that pic and then melted, I'm safe for now. There's gonna be some large birds coming soon. You can address them or not. Their point will be made regardless. I don't THINK they'll hurt you, but they certainly won't protect you from those claw people. Sucks.
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Jul 3, 2014 19:59
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My girlfriend of three years and I broke up last night over something so stupid (not to mention embarrassing), that I don’t know what to do. We had just eaten Indian food (she got me into it and now it’s our favorite meal) at a local place and decided we should go watch 22 Jump Street to finish off the weekend. Well, on our way over to the movie theater I needed to fart really bad and let one slip. Turns out the Indian food wasn't such a great idea, and I gambled and lost. It was immediately noticeable, even though the windows were down, and without missing a beat she just starts screaming at me to pull over. She’s got a very timid stomach due to a past illness so she’s sitting there in the passenger seat dry-heaving, and I’m about in tears at this point as the gravity of the situation fully sets in. I find a decent place to pull over (not fast enough according to her) and once she spills out of the door and finishes dry-heaving (no actual vomit or anything she may have been faking) she won’t let me near her. I’m straight up bawling on the side of a 4 lane avenue while she’s telling me to “Turn around” practically every other sentence. I thought it was a weird thing to say and don’t quite understand what brought her to keep telling me those two words over and over again, but I think she was just telling me to get out of her sight or something. We continue arguing on the side of a busy highway while she calls one of her girl friends to pick her up, telling me she’s not getting anywhere near my car. I tell her I thought we were at that stage where she wanted me the way that I am, but as we keep on arguing it’s becoming pretty apparent it turns out she’ll never be that girl. This obviously leads to other, more deep-seated issues between us, and before I know it she's spitting out crazy poo poo and telling me she never wants to see me again. I’m just sitting here typing this and realizing that the best of all my years have gone by and I wasted them on a shallow bitch. I need her more than ever. I remember clear as day the moment her friend pulled up, and she’s basically sprinting to the car and I’m yelling to her, “I don't know what to do! I REALLY need you tonight! Once upon a time we were falling in love, but now you’re loving stuck on a shart. There’s nothing I can say… A turd sometimes slips from a fart.”
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Jul 3, 2014 20:04
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I like Nietzsche and I cannot lie other untermensch can't deny that when a abyss walks in with metaphysical dread and it goes right to your head you get scared
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Jul 3, 2014 20:21
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Big Beef City posted:There's gonna be some large birds coming soon. They just arrived a few minutes ago and inferred to me that a tragedy would happen with my car. I thanked them, and they flew to make a meal of the corpses of children that my car ran over the other day when the fungus ate through the brake hydraulics,allowing it to silently roll into their midst. They were a bit late but hey, they tried.
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Jul 3, 2014 21:01
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jBrereton posted:Get an existential tissue.
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Jul 3, 2014 21:02
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Snatch Duster posted:My girlfriend of three years and I broke up last night over something so stupid (not to mention embarrassing), that I don’t know what to do. Same.
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Jul 3, 2014 21:06
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Cender posted:I'm having an existential issue as well. The skies are black and the visible world around me is covered in a white fungus resembling dandelions and little white shelled creatures look to be scuttling underneath them. you are stuck in Zack Efron's LIMINAL STAIRS retreat immediately
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Jul 3, 2014 21:15
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 00:17 |
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psyopmonkey posted:If you cant trust a fart, you should change your diet. If you can't trust a fart, what can you trust?
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Jul 4, 2014 03:35
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