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Alright so here's mine you start with the traditional self hanging technique but replace rope with the razer-sharp chicken wire. Now here where the rulebook changes. Be nude. Get out some superglue and apply it to both sides of your head, and then your hands. Attach your hands to your super glue head pieces and while you wait for it to dry, think of something really sexy and get an erection. Once youre nice and hard, jump! With any luck, it'll look like you ripped off your head trying to suck your own dick. If you actually manage to get your dick into your mouth doing so, you'll earn bonus points for a hole in one!
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Jul 12, 2014 10:13
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 17:16 |
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you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op
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Jul 12, 2014 10:16
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chicken wire doesn't come razor sharp and wouldn't be useful to hang yourself.
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Jul 12, 2014 10:16
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QCIC posted:you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op Pffft. Maybe you can't.
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Jul 12, 2014 10:17
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QCIC posted:you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op Actually you can stay erect for up to 6 hours after death. You sharpen the chicken wire
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Jul 12, 2014 10:19
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flip off a cop until they murder you
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Jul 12, 2014 10:22
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chicken wire comes in three feet wide sections too, i think id buy a different kind of wire
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Jul 12, 2014 10:22
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killdozer
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Jul 12, 2014 10:23
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Walk onto the white house lawn with a painted airsoft gun
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Jul 12, 2014 10:24
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Jumping off a bridge after freaking out at the cops because they were mad you were giving kids alcohol.
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Jul 12, 2014 10:24
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go to work for 50 years and live in quiet desperation until your heart gives out
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Jul 12, 2014 10:26
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Start a band Get famous Play at massive festival Dive off speakers into woodchipper Get sprayed over 400,000 people
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Jul 12, 2014 10:27
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Do a spiderman swing from one tall building into the window of another tall building wearing a batman costume
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Jul 12, 2014 10:27
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Rapman the Cook posted:Start a band
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Jul 12, 2014 10:27
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QCIC posted:you can't maintain an erection after death. nice try op says you 
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Jul 12, 2014 10:28
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Rapman the Cook posted:Start a band This would be really painful for about 5 aeconds
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Jul 12, 2014 10:28
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shout hail satan in a church. G-d will smite u and ull turn into a pillar ofd salt. holy sh*t
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Jul 12, 2014 10:30
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eat a butt
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Jul 12, 2014 10:30
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Go hang out in a cave and make a youtube quality video about how youre gonna hijack some planes and email it to fox news
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Jul 12, 2014 10:31
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kidding aside why would you want to die. life is wonderful
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Jul 12, 2014 10:31
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time how long it will take for a dummy to fall off a building and hit the ground and then strap a bomb to yourself set to go off about half way to the ground and jump off the building after arming the bomb and make sure you do it over a busy section of a city that would make people notice you
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Jul 12, 2014 10:32
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Cucking Mama posted:kidding aside why would you want to die. life is wonderful I dont im part of the wealthiest nation of the most over-privileged species on the planet and possibly the universe I have zero reason whatsoever to end my life prematurely
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Jul 12, 2014 10:33
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Homo for Hitler posted:I dont im part of the wealthiest nation of the most over-privileged species on the planet and possibly the universe I have zero reason whatsoever to end my life prematurely have u considered..... ur posting.... 
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Jul 12, 2014 10:33
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yea its really something only tards and sadbrains people do
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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tie yourself to four different cars, they can be the same sort of car or different once, you might need someone to help you with this. then get all cars to go in different cardinal directions at the same time, it will not work as well otherwise, do it in a public area or in the middle of that place where the cars go around in cirlces in america what is that called anyway do it somewhere public. maybe put fake horse heads on the cars bonnets (hodds)
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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jk homo fir hitler ur alright imo
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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Swallow small timed explosives and go to a church hailing satan
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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spend your entire life doing everything you're told, dying of old age, a worthless broken robot man
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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Better for the slow burn. Wait for a 3 day weekend or something when the office is relatively empty and go in with a rolled up kiddie pool, a pen or pencil, a bottle of 151, and two or more bottles of Tylenol (or other acetaminophen substitute), something that can play music (phone, iPod, whatever), and a few thick 2x5 or so cardboard strips. Get into the ceiling of your office floor, obviously this works best for mid-sized or bigger office buildings, and open up the pool as best you can within the ceiling crawlspace, use some heavy cardboard strips to help distribute the weight, crawl into the pool and close the access panel behind you. Use the pen/pencil to poke a few holes (but not too many!) in the pool's bottom membrane but don't stab right through the ceiling panels. You want to be properly rotting before stuff starts dripping through the ceiling. Then consume as much of the Tylenol as you can while washing it down with 151 until the bottle is empty. Set your music player to something appropriate on loop just to mess with investigators when they find it, like Bananaphone or Bright Eyes or something. If you're feeling especially cheeky use the pen/pencil to scrawl the name of a random coworker you never really ever had to interact with from some random department onto whatever surfaces are around you. You'll end up in a headline somewhere. If you hate your network guys also take a few moments to disconnect some drop cables in there and insert them deeply into various orifices. Once your body is taken away they'll still have to deal with some funky rear end RJ45 jacks. But if you're not that far gone just put Goatse on someone's computer or something. Also OP's idea missed that extra detail that it should be done off a skyscraper no taller than 20ish stories during the start of lunch time.
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Jul 12, 2014 10:34
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put long skewers in your nose one in each nostrile and go into a very small room and listen to some thing really heavy and headbang yourself to death
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Jul 12, 2014 10:35
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u could get a job as a lion tamer but when the time comes during ur sjhow to put ur head in its mouth u just keep going. u crawl into its throat then down to its stomach so u die in its liontummy being slowly digested
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Jul 12, 2014 10:36
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Shoot a hot dose of heroin into your dick on a public bus or the red line in chicago
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Jul 12, 2014 10:36
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ilikedirt posted:u could get a job as a lion tamer but when the time comes during ur sjhow to put ur head in its mouth u just keep going. u crawl into its throat then down to its stomach so u die in its liontummy being slowly digested Some people are actually into this it is called vore check it out
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Jul 12, 2014 10:37
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this idea uses a small room aswell. sit in a small room and playu video games and drink something carbonated but upside down so the bubbles go downwards. and then fart yourself to death from lack of oxygen.
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Jul 12, 2014 10:37
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legally change ur name to "cOp KiLlA" and be really mean to police. themn when they axe u ur name... well lets just say.... ur in for a bash!!!!!
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Jul 12, 2014 10:38
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Jul 12, 2014 10:39
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a good death, some might say the best death, is to eat take away fast food until you die in 20 years or less of a heart attack. the einlardjhar will then come on a bridge of saturated fats and take you to fathalla
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Jul 12, 2014 10:39
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open up 500 packs of magic the gathering cards and sniff them. b4 u know it ull be dead from mtg fumes. a true samurais death
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Jul 12, 2014 10:42
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Try to fist a cop I dont mean fist fight
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Jul 12, 2014 10:42
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 17:16 |
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ilikedirt posted:open up 500 packs of magic the gathering cards and sniff them. b4 u know it ull be dead from mtg fumes. a true samurais death I know this isnt how it works from experience you liar!!! Also notjing about that is remotely cool
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Jul 12, 2014 10:43
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