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Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster
Should've gone with "John Harbaugh: Our defense is... the worst. It has always been that way and always will be."

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SlipUp
Sep 30, 2006


stayin c o o l

quote:

The expectation for our defense is to be top-five, at the worst. It has always been that way and always will be.

N:John Harbaugh calls on the dark lord for a top 5 defense

V:Probably the only way it's gonna happen.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel
Great news, Lions fans. A influential Detroit pastor put a curse on the team many years ago, after a falling-out with William Clay Ford. I'm happy to report that through the efforts of many, that curse has been lifted.

We're going to win the Super Bowl, everybody.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

AsInHowe posted:

Great news, Lions fans. A influential Detroit pastor put a curse on the team many years ago, after a falling-out with William Clay Ford. I'm happy to report that through the efforts of many, that curse has been lifted.

We're going to win the Super Bowl, everybody.

Still not going to win any manufacturing contracts.

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

AsInHowe posted:

Great news, Lions fans. A influential Detroit pastor put a curse on the team many years ago, after a falling-out with William Clay Ford. I'm happy to report that through the efforts of many, that curse has been lifted.

We're going to win the Super Bowl, everybody.

If it's like the last curse to be lifted then they'll get to the playoffs and be eliminated by the Saints in the first round.

zimbomonkey
Jul 15, 2008

Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?

SlipUp posted:

N:John Harbaugh calls on the dark lord for a top 5 defense

V:Probably the only way it's gonna happen.

Not sure why bill belichick would consider helping the ravens though.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


computer parts posted:

If it's like the last curse to be lifted then they'll get to the playoffs

already an improvement

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Atticus Finch posted:

The Colts release LaVon Brazill.

That av is great.

Chris de Sperg
Aug 14, 2009


Today, while listening to BBC Radio 5 Live, I learned that Wes Welker owns a racehorse called Undrafted.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Chris de Sperg posted:

Today, while listening to BBC Radio 5 Live, I learned that Wes Welker owns a racehorse called Undrafted.

I hope it dies.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2014/07/mike_pouncey_and_brother_assaulted_man_at_cameo_nightclub_last_night_victim_claims.php

quote:

A man says that Dolphins center Mike Pouncey and his brother Maurkice assaulted him at Cameo Nightclub in Miami Beach last night, where the often-troubled Dolphins center and his twin behemoth brother were holding their annual birthday bash.

UPDATE: "There was an incident that occurred at Cameo last night at 4:20 a.m., where an alleged assault took place, Miami Beach Police Sgt. Bobby Hernandez tells New Times. "We have not confirmed it's the Pouncey brothers that are the subjects, but we are going to have detectives contacting the victims to investigate further."

I think I hate Mike Pouncey. That's pretty amazing when you consider that he played for my college team when they won championships, and he's been one of the best centers in the league on my pro team.

It's a testament to how big of a jackass he is...

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO
He really is the equal of Incognito in the arsehole stakes.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Lol the police sgt is named Hernandez. Perfect.

A Man and his dog
Oct 24, 2013

by R. Guyovich
No wonder, LeBron left that poo poo hole city for North East Ohiou

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

The first and only time Michael Sam can say "whew, glad I was drafted by the Rams"

quote:

The alleged victim Ricky Vasquez took to Twitter, claiming he was "jumped by 4 bouncers and the Pouncey Twins." Vasquez added he was attacked because of his sexual orientation, claiming the assailants used homophobic slurs and saying, "I feel like I just got gay bashed."

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

I can't imagine what would have happened if we drafted Michael Sam, but I'm pretty sure it would have been covered on an episode of Dateline.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Kick pouncey off I'm tired of his bullshit

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Kick pouncey off I'm tired of his bullshit

This is basically where I am now. I hope we don't re-sign him to some massive deal.

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Calvin Johnson says the Lions are poised for a Super Bowl run.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
They should consider trading him if he can pass a physical before the trade deadline. He's a danger to miss games for multiple reasons, and he's going to want money like his brother got(which was ridiculous for a guy as OK as Maurkice is)

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
The Bengals are now full of nice guys :)

And a rapist.

Cascadia Pirate
Jan 18, 2011

k3nn posted:

Apologies if it's already been mentioned, but a couple of hours ago the NFL Facebook page put up a "are you ready for kickoff???" post:



Why isn't smiles capitalized?

Lord Waffle Beard
Dec 7, 2013
Delusional Andre Reed thinks Richard Sherman wouldn't shut him down completely

http://www.syracuse.com/buffalo-bills/index.ssf/2014/07/andre_reed_richard_sherman.html

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

Delusional Andre Reed thinks Richard Sherman wouldn't shut him down completely

http://www.syracuse.com/buffalo-bills/index.ssf/2014/07/andre_reed_richard_sherman.html

A Hall of Fame player in his prime with a HoF QB throwing to him Vs. Richard Sherman isn't being that delusional. Andre is in the hall for a reason. He gets forgotten about on that Bill offense but he was very very good. Sherman might have some trouble.

Schwack
Jan 31, 2003

Someone needs to stop this! Sherman has lost his mind! Peyton is completely unable to defend himself out there!

Febreeze posted:

A Hall of Fame player in his prime with a HoF QB throwing to him Vs. Richard Sherman isn't being that delusional. Andre is in the hall for a reason. He gets forgotten about on that Bill offense but he was very very good. Sherman might have some trouble.

On a somewhat related note, here is Richard Sherman being a jerk and jamming up some children.

http://videos-h-5.ak.instagram.com/hphotos-ak-xaf1/10555752_1451774191742705_1179850215_n.mp4

NO CLASS

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

Delusional Andre Reed thinks Richard Sherman wouldn't shut him down completely

http://www.syracuse.com/buffalo-bills/index.ssf/2014/07/andre_reed_richard_sherman.html

Andre Reed was incredible dude. Also

Lord Waffle Beard posted:

News: Seahawks are going to be better than last year
Views: There is no way they dont win the superbowl again, there is no team to challenge tehm

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Volkerball posted:

Andre Reed was incredible dude. Also

ah poo poo, I either got trolled or homered, probably both

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
that guy is back

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
cool and good

Jerome Agricola
Apr 11, 2010

Seriously,

who dat?
e: on second thought, no

Jerome Agricola fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Jul 12, 2014

Algund Eenboom
May 4, 2014

you rang?

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.
It's too soon to be getting snippy, we still have all of July left.

Joe Haden thinks the Browns can get a championship before the Cavs, so prepare for Cleveland fans to be as irritating as Seattle fans up until the first game where both JFF and Hoyer go down with torn MRSA concussions.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

I wish the preseason was here so I could watch some poo poo-rear end college QBs try to make the 53 man roster by missing receivers in the flat

Although ESPN2 is airing some karate poo poo straight out of a cheap seats episode right now so I guess it's not all bad. There's some loving Star Wars Kid poo poo going on right now

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Lol WHOSE THIS MARINO GUY HE COULDNT HOLD RUSSELS JOCKSTRAP

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Kick pouncey off I'm tired of his bullshit

Should retire from football and then he and his brother can fill the cinematic void left by the barbarian brothers.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Probably Magic posted:

It's too soon to be getting snippy, we still have all of July left.

Joe Haden thinks the Browns can get a championship before the Cavs, so prepare for Cleveland fans to be as irritating as Seattle fans up until the first game where both JFF and Hoyer go down with torn MRSA concussions.

Th Mariners might go to the playoffs this year, we can get way more insufferable :colbert:

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Bad Moon posted:

Th Mariners might go to the playoffs this year, we can get way more insufferable :colbert:

What happened that year they won like 120 games? Did they even make the ALCS?

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

What happened that year they won like 120 games? Did they even make the ALCS?

They did.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

What happened that year they won like 120 games? Did they even make the ALCS?

I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING AFTER SEPTEMBER STARTED

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Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
I was really hoping to find that they made the ALCS because the ALDS wasn't a thing yet, but I guess that happened right after the strike. So they did win a playoff series at least.

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