NFL N/V July: Self Glorifying 10 year olds only; all others please go to ESPN boards

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL N/V July: Self Glorifying 10 year olds only; all others please go to ESPN boards

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Its Miller Time: Dec 4, 2004

I peed myself a little when I saw this

http://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/07/22/san-diego-chargers-softball-team

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:18

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 14:05

Its Rinaldo: Aug 13, 2010; CODS BINCH

Intruder posted:

http://deadspin.com/marshawn-lynch-apparently-ropes-off-his-lamborghini-whe-1608919254

Marshawn Lynch puts velvet ropes around his Lambo when he parks it. I'm not sure if this makes him a jerk or if this is amazing and awesome. I'm leaning toward the latter

I'm going to be super sad when he gets cut :smith:

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:22

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

pssst i never told you guys i have a login to the media page on nflmedia.com but here is today's full list of transaction, slightly cleaned up by yours truely the fuckerman. Thank you.

code:

WAIVER SYSTEM TRANSACTIONS 
 

WAIVER REQUESTS (All are NO RECALL) 
 
BUFFALO
    Kitchens, Darrin
LB 
Injured
 
CAROLINA
    Boyko, Billy
LB 
Failure to Disclose Physical Condition
 
DALLAS
    Whaley, Chris
DT 
Non-Football Injury
 
HOUSTON
    Jackson, Tim
DE 
North Carolina 
Failure to Disclose Physical Condition

    Smelley, Brad
RB 
Alabama 
[no info?? wtf goodell -ed] 
 
 
NEW ORLEANS
    Ozougwu, Cheta
DE 
Failed Physical
 
ST. LOUIS
    McSurdy, Caleb
LB 
[no info again?? needed back at the amish farm probably] 
    Salimu, Abasi
T 
[no info yet again. aids]
    Spencer, Diontae
WR 
[st louis just tight lipped as a mother fucker]
    Wilson, Tavarius
LB 

   CLAIMING DEADLINE: 4:00 p.m., N.Y. Time, Wednesday, 7/23/14


ASSIGNMENT VIA WAIVER SYSTEM 
 
CLEVELAND
    McDonald, Nick
C 
Grand Valley State 
 
         From SAN DIEGO
 

TERMINATIONS OF VESTED VETERANS 
 
DENVER
    Dreessen, Joel
TE 
         Failed Physical
 
SAN DIEGO
    English, Larry
LB 
 
 

TERMINATIONS VIA WAIVER SYSTEM 
 
BUFFALO
    Williams, Nathan
LB 
 
CINCINNATI
    Neutz, Alex
WR 
 
HOUSTON
    Williams, Brennan
T 
 
NEW ENGLAND
    Epenesa, Seali'i
DT 
 
NEW ORLEANS
    McCray, Moses
DT 
 
NEW YORK GIANTS
    Adams, Kris
WR 

WASHINGTON
    Nelson, Kyle
LS 
 
 
ACTIVE LIST ADDITIONS 
 

FREE AGENT SIGNINGS 
 
BUFFALO
    Boyd, Xavius
LB 
 
DALLAS
    Briscoe, Dezmon
WR 


HOUSTON
    Coyle, Chris
TE 
 
NEW ORLEANS
    Ezell, Tyrone
NT 
 
    Thompson, Marcus
LB 
 
ST. LOUIS
    Dill, R.J.
T 
 
    Morrell, D.J.
T 
 
    Schiller, Pat
LB 
 
    Wilson, Lawrence
LB 
 
SAN DIEGO
    Wilkes, Khalil
C 


RESERVE LIST ADDITION 
 
DENVER
    Hagg, Eric
DB 
Reserve/Retired
 
OTHER TRANSACTIONS/COMMENTS 
 

DECLARED NON-FOOTBALL ILLNESS 
 
JACKSONVILLE
    Sanders, Ace
WR 
South Carolina 
 
         Counts on Active List
 

DECLARED NON-FOOTBALL INJURY 
 
JACKSONVILLE
    Colvin, Aaron
DB 
Oklahoma 
 
         Counts on Active List
 
ST. LOUIS
    Bryant, Christian
DB 
Ohio State 
 
         Counts on Active List
    Westbrooks, Ethan
DT 
West Texas A&M 
 
         Counts on Active List
 

DECLARED PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO PERFORM 
 
CINCINNATI
    Pollak, Mike
G 
Arizona State 
 
         Counts on Active List
 
JACKSONVILLE
    Ball, Alan
DB 
Illinois 
 
         Counts on Active List
    Watson, Dekoda
LB 
Florida State 
 
         Counts on Active List
 
NEW YORK GIANTS
    Beason, Jon
LB 
Miami 
 
         Counts on Active List

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:29

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

football fuckerman posted:

pssst i never told you guys i have a login to the media page on nflmedia.com but here is today's full list of transaction, slightly cleaned up by yours truely the fuckerman. Thank you.
code:
WAIVER SYSTEM TRANSACTIONS 

    Smelley, Brad

         Counts on Active List

Like there is really a person named Brad Smelley

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:38

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

football fuckerman posted:

pssst i never told you guys i have a login to the media page on nflmedia.com but here is today's full list of transaction, slightly cleaned up by yours truely the fuckerman. Thank you.

a man of many secrets

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:46

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

I like Alex Smith a lot and I hope he does well and makes bank in Kansas City. I hope he breaks your playoff drought like he did ours.

He will not and, if he gets a new deal, he will be cut from it by year two. If we win a playoff game due to Alex loving Smith's quarterbacking, I will eat a ban.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 22:57

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

USA Today posted:

The New York Jets are doing away with paper tickets for season ticket holders and offering those fans a rewards plan for showing up regularly and behaving properly.

The high-end rewards include Super Bowl tickets and a trip to a road game on the team plane.

Other NFL clubs, such as the Broncos and Chiefs, already have gone to paperless access control systems. But as Seth Rabinowitz, the Jets' vice president of marketing and fan engagement said Tuesday: "Certainly we are the first to do this much."

It begins with a simpler way to enter MetLife Stadium. Season ticket holders will use wallet-sized smart cards that are loaded for 2014. No more paper that can get torn, wet or chewed up by the dog.

The program also will provide incentives for the season ticket holders to keep coming, with bonus points accumulating throughout a season. Once a fan has been to seven of the 10 home games, the rewards points increase significantly, right through the home season finale.

Program participants will manage their accounts (tickets, points and rewards) through a separate portal. Program participation is free.

The program is not based on spending money for food or souvenirs, but on showing up, sharing what Rabinowitz calls a "sense of community" and comporting oneself properly at games. There will be bonus points for fans' involvement with the team's local broadcast partners, too.

"We want to get better at tailoring what we give them," Rabinowitz said. "They don't accept one size fits all, nor should they. The message is to come to the games and be a good fan � they don't have to do anything out of the ordinary � and their loyalty is rewarded."

The Jets' long-term plan is to expand the program beyond game day to include other events and tie-ins with sponsors.

Extra points will not be accumulated for attending preseason games, which traditionally do not attract full houses and often are attended by fans who are not season ticket holders. Rabinowitz said the Jets discussed that issue, but for 2014 there will be no separate segment of the program directed at the exhibitions.

Jets season tickets are nearly sold out each season. Longtime fans � the Jets have a few who have had season tickets dating to the AFL's Titans, and many more from their years at Shea Stadium � will be recognized in the program. They will receive extra bonus points for their loyalty, and the team plans to honor them at a game this season.

"They wear it like a badge of honor," Rabinowitz said of those fans. "In many cases, attending these games has come to define their lives."

With no appearances in a Super Bowl since 1969, the loyalty of those ticket holders can't be questioned.

Should a season ticket holder relinquish his seat or seats for a game, the fan attending can join the rewards program and set up a separate account, Rabinowitz said.

As for those attractive rewards such as the Super Bowl trip or attending an away game with the team or sitting in the owner's suite, they will be part of a rewards auction site. Other prizes with a set value, such as an autograph session, will be available through a rewards marketplace simply by redeeming bonus points.

"We are saying that we want you there and will reward you for coming, for cheering your lungs out," Rabinowitz said. "Hopefully, these rewards are like pennies from heaven."

Deadspin did a shorter article about it

Deadspin posted:

The AP does some weird PR for the Jets by claiming the change is because paper tickets can get lost or destroyed. The real reason is the same one that has inspired other teams like Denver and Kansas City to make the move to smart cards: now season-ticket holders will need to use the team's official online ticket exchange if they want to sell their seats.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:09

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

e: nevermind, should have finished reading

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:14

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 2000

Parmesan Basil posted:

He will not and, if he gets a new deal, he will be cut from it by year two. If we win a playoff game due to Alex loving Smith's quarterbacking, I will eat a ban.

A ban is so boring.

Maybe a music video extolling the virtues and amazingness of Alex Smith and his miniscule hands.

The Colts fantastic ticket story:

You have to buy Preseason Game Tickets to be able to buy the Patriots game tickets this year.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:22

dont hate the playa: May 12, 2009

Falcons signed Pat Angerer. Does he have anything left or is he too broken to be any decent? He's only 27.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:25

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Parmesan Basil posted:

He will not and, if he gets a new deal, he will be cut from it by year two. If we win a playoff game due to Alex loving Smith's quarterbacking, I will eat a ban.

Put on an Alex Smith jersey and cut a WWE style promo on yourself in character as him

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:26

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Intruder posted:

Put on an Alex Smith jersey and cut a WWE style promo on yourself in character as him

YEAH BROTHER IM A poo poo QB AND I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE THE BALLS TO ASK FOR MORE MONEY THAN PEYTON MANNING WHOOO

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:37

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Kind of the opposite of what I meant :shobon:

e: (by cut a promo on yourself I mean you're Alex Smith cutting a promo on Parmesan Basil)

Intruder fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Jul 22, 2014

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:42

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Its Miller Time posted:

I peed myself a little when I saw this

http://www.si.com/extra-mustard/2014/07/22/san-diego-chargers-softball-team

Unless he's the only one who had ever played baseball of any sort why in the hell would you put Philip Rivers at short? The man moves like he's wading through drying cement.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:47

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Parmesan Basil posted:

He will not and, if he gets a new deal, he will be cut from it by year two. If we win a playoff game due to Alex loving Smith's quarterbacking, I will eat a ban.

If you're defense had played a hair better, he would've done it last year.

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:50

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Alternately, if he makes an accurate throw to a streaking Bowe down the sideline, that wins the Chiefs the game

(I may be remembering this wrong)

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:51

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Volkerball posted:

The Catch III :c00l:

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:52

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

Ace Sanders suspended 4 games.

That puts the Jags WR depth chart down to Cecil Shorts, Marqise Lee, Allen Robinson and....Mike Brown?

# ? Jul 22, 2014 23:56

Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

The Catch III

Alex Smith going super saiyan against New Orleans is one of my favorite games ever

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:12

Gandalf21: May 17, 2012

Claw Massage posted:

Falcons signed Pat Angerer. Does he have anything left or is he too broken to be any decent? He's only 27.

I liked him a lot for the Colts in 2010 and 2011 in a 4-3. But he struggled to switch to the 3-4 in 2012 and then got injured. He hasn't really been healthy since.

I'm definitely rooting for him though.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:13

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Gandalf21 posted:

I liked him a lot for the Colts in 2010 and 2011 in a 4-3. But he struggled to switch to the 3-4 in 2012 and then got injured. He hasn't really been healthy since.

I'm definitely rooting for him though.

Holy crap your av

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:15

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

waah posted:

Thanks for the heads up. But since you listened, Ross wasn't all Kluwe fan boy was he?

The exact opposite. He keeps asking him how can he purport himself as an activist and he does poo poo like make fun of raping little boys and he flat out calls him out about the underage girl and teammates thing. He asked him if he's such an activist for people, why didn't he say anything about the statutory until it served his own interests?

Understandably Kluwe skirted that one.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:22

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Rotoworld.com posted:

CBS Kansas City reports Jamaal Charles will hold out from training camp as he seeks a new contract.

Deep breaths Parm Basil. Deep breaths.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:23

bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

I am generally supportive of Alex Smith but if his final cap hit demand is north of $15m the Chefs should really let him walk.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:24

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

Spoeank posted:

Deep breaths Parm Basil. Deep breaths.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:25

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Sweet. The entire offense and most of the pass rush is holding out.

Can't blame him, they've been running him into the ground and he probably won't make it to another contract while he's still awesome.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:25

bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

Also hold the gently caress out Jamaal, get $20m over the next two years please.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:26

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Give Smith a 6 year massive deal, and pay Charles til he's 35 please.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:27

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

Spoeank posted:

Deep breaths Parm Basil. Deep breaths.

How does he expect them to pay Smith?

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:27

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

It's happening

The battle of whether they'll extend Charles, extend Smith, or extend both and give up on free agency next offseason

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:31

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

They've already given up on big free agents as an organization if you believe the company line (until they need another quarterback at least).

You're also forgetting Justin Houston there.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:33

Boba Phat: Feb 19, 2003; Deal With It

Benne posted:

Ace Sanders suspended 4 games.

That puts the Jags WR depth chart down to Cecil Shorts, Marqise Lee, Allen Robinson and....Mike Brown?

...and whoever the Seahawks end up cutting. Welcome to Florida, Sidney Rice.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:34

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Let Alex Smith walk you stupid idiots.

Roll with the brother of the dude from the bachelorette.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:41

Big Ol Marsh Pussy: Jan 7, 2007

The cool thing about Alex Smith contract chat is you can replace him with Andy Dalton and all the posts are still coherent

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:44

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Spoeank posted:

Deep breaths Parm Basil. Deep breaths.

I'm fine with this. Charles owns hella hard and there's no chance we pass on Houston and Charles over Smith. He's as good as gone.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 00:56

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Claw Massage posted:

Falcons signed Pat Angerer. Does he have anything left or is he too broken to be any decent? He's only 27.

If he can get over his injuries he can be pretty good. He just struggled a lot in the 3-4 but was a good 4-3 MLB.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 01:05

gohuskies: Oct 23, 2010; I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Two Seahawks fans are trying to raise $250k to "Build The Tip":

quote:

Build The Tip is a crowdfunding project by 12s and for 12s to create a lasting work of art that pays tribute to our beloved Seattle Seahawks and their amazing 2013 Super Bowl Championship season.

The vision for Build The Tip came from two die-hard Seahawks fans who believe Richard Sherman�s tipped pass to Malcolm Smith to win the NFC Championship was a moment so pivotal, awe-inspiring, and emblematic of everything great about the 2013 Seattle Seahawks team, that it should be immortalized for future generations of Seahawks fans to enjoy. The play will be captured in a magnificent bronze sculpture designed and built by local artist Kevin Pettelle. The sculpture will pay tribute to the entire Super Bowl XLVIII championship team by incorporating every 2013 Seahawk player.

Build The Tip is in discussions with the Seattle Seahawks organization, Seattle city officials, and various local property owners to choose a location for the sculpture next to CenturyLink Field which will allows fans to enjoy and interact with The Tip on their way into home games.

Seahawks fans everywhere can contribute to the success of the project by donating to the campaign at BuildTheTip.com, officially opening for donations on July 28 at 12:12 pm. Prizes will be given to all donors who contribute at least $12.

The campaign will run for 40 days, ending on September 5. Every dollar raised in the Build The Tip campaign above the cost of the project will be donated to charity.

A conceptual sketch of the statue:

# ? Jul 23, 2014 01:09

Cash Monet: Apr 5, 2009

Parmesan Basil posted:

YEAH BROTHER IM A poo poo QB AND I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE THE BALLS TO ASK FOR MORE MONEY THAN PEYTON MANNING WHOOO

The problem with Smith is that he isn't poo poo, hes just painfully mediocre. At least a lovely QB will land you in the top 10, mediocre will land you in the middle of the 1st.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 01:11

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Just the tip?

# ? Jul 23, 2014 01:12

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 14:05

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

lol crabtree is so bad. immortalize that foot on the ground, please.

# ? Jul 23, 2014 01:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL N/V July: Self Glorifying 10 year olds only; all others please go to ESPN boards

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