- GEExCEE
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movie opens with a wide shot of adam jerking off in a field. he passes out and takes a nap and wakes up and theres this chick. and he sits up and he's like "aroo?"" and she cocks her eyebrow and wraps her finger around her toe and the camera zooms in on it
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Aug 6, 2014 15:10
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 19, 2024 23:07
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- Blue's Clues
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I wonder if the actresses in his films ever read the scripts and are like "uhhh, yeah, so why is the camera zooming in on my feet during this beheading scene?"
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Aug 6, 2014 15:13
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- DinosaurDavid
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Froody
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I heard he'll pay a woman $100 dollars to go back to his house and let him masturbate on her naked feet.
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Aug 6, 2014 15:35
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- les fleurs du mall
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by LadyAmbien
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Tarantino cameos as the roman soldier who nails Jesus' feet into the cross
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Aug 6, 2014 15:58
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- ChairmanMeow
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Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
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I heard he'll pay a woman $100 dollars to go back to his house and let him masturbate on her naked feet.
i bet they are pretty beat feet for $100
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Aug 6, 2014 16:04
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- A Bad King
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Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.
Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?
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I wonder how he's going to properly adapt the Psalms to the big screen?
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Aug 6, 2014 16:06
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- les fleurs du mall
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by LadyAmbien
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jesus is inexplicably a woman in his interpretation
I guess this means we have to make a "Jesus was trans" tumblr
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Aug 6, 2014 16:07
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- ChairmanMeow
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Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!
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I guess this means we have to make a "Jesus was trans" tumblr
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iu1ItXdcJc
illuminati transgender jesus (it was all weird talking)
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Aug 6, 2014 16:11
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- Gross Dude
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Gross Dude
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God doesn't tell Abraham not to sacrifice Isaac.
Book of Job remains completely unchanged.
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Aug 6, 2014 16:15
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- GEExCEE
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"Pigs sleep and root in poo poo. That's a filthy animal" - g*d
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Aug 6, 2014 18:32
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- Gross Dude
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Gross Dude
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Samson's ears give him strength instead of his hair.
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Aug 6, 2014 18:37
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- GEExCEE
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Abraham: I just ain't sacrificing my first born son, man. I got a problem with filicide.
God: well I got a problem with leading ungrateful, peanut-head niggas to triumph over the Caananites, but I did it!
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Aug 6, 2014 18:41
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- i am he
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instead of hitting the greedy dudes with a whip jesus upturns the table and uses it as cover while spraying bullets with an uzi at them
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Aug 6, 2014 18:44
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- GEExCEE
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jesus is back, and he's PISSED
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Aug 6, 2014 18:48
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- precision
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by VideoGames
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he will find a way to get Jesus to say friend of the family
he will find a way to have romans call jesus a friend of the family
get it right
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Aug 6, 2014 18:51
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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Samuel Jackson plays Ezekial but looks exactly like his role in Pulp Fiction and he packs heat and says the same quote from Pulp Fiction a whole lot even when nobody is doing anything
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Aug 6, 2014 18:57
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- i am he
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Elijah or elisha gets called a penis head lookin muthafucka (because he's bald) so he sends the bears down to kill hte kids but the bears are the human kind and they're huge and hairy packing tommy guns and switchblades and they kill the kids without mercy
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Aug 6, 2014 19:00
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- google THIS
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"What country are you from?"
"Err..."
"Ur ain't no country I've ever heard of! They speak English in Ur?"
"Sumerian, actually."
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Aug 6, 2014 19:01
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- precision
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by VideoGames
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pilate: i hear you're some kind of bad motherfucker
jesus: hey man, i never said that
pilate: i've got your wallet here. it says "bad motherfucker on it"
jesus: hey man, that's not even mine!
pilate: (to guard) look at dis nigga. (to jesus) think you're king of the niggas?
jesus: yo, look, i ain't even said that
pilate: oh, you are though. you the king of ALL THEM NIGGAS
jesus: that's not the truth
pilate: gently caress you [shoots gun]
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Aug 6, 2014 19:01
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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Kill Jesus Vol.1
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Aug 6, 2014 19:03
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- A Bad King
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Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.
Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?
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pilate: i hear you're some kind of bad motherfucker
jesus: hey man, i never said that
pilate: i've got your wallet here. it says "bad motherfucker on it"
jesus: hey man, that's not even mine!
pilate: (to guard) look at dis nigga. (to jesus) think you're king of the niggas?
jesus: yo, look, i ain't even said that
pilate: oh, you are though. you the king of ALL THEM NIGGAS
jesus: that's not the truth
pilate: gently caress you [shoots gun]
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Aug 6, 2014 19:10
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- google THIS
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pilate: i hear you're some kind of bad motherfucker
jesus: hey man, i never said that
pilate: i've got your wallet here. it says "bad motherfucker on it"
jesus: hey man, that's not even mine!
pilate: (to guard) look at dis nigga. (to jesus) think you're king of the niggas?
jesus: yo, look, i ain't even said that
pilate: oh, you are though. you the king of ALL THEM NIGGAS
jesus: that's not the truth
pilate: gently caress you [shoots gun]
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Aug 6, 2014 19:10
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- ulvir
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Roman officer: Describe Pontius Pilate.
Jesus: What?
Roman officer: What does Pontius Pilate look like?
Jesus: What?
(...)
Roman officer: DOES HE LOOK. LIKE A BITCH?!
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Aug 6, 2014 19:22
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- ulvir
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did you notice a sign outside golgotha that said "dead kike storage"?
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Aug 6, 2014 19:25
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- Commie NedFlanders
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Tarantino cameos as the talking Donkey.
Read Eddie Murphy's angry response on Twitter
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Aug 6, 2014 19:43
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- GEExCEE
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thats just a rumor, i thought tarantino didnt want to do shrek 4 because the licencing with the church was such a hassle
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Aug 6, 2014 20:41
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- les fleurs du mall
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by LadyAmbien
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thats just a rumor, i thought tarantino didnt want to do shrek 4 because the licencing with the church was such a hassle
I also heard this true thing, GEExCEE is tellign the truth everyone
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Aug 6, 2014 21:03
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 19, 2024 23:07
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- posting smiling
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jesus doesn't have to wait three days to be resurrected because mary magdalene injects adrenaline into his heart right away.
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Aug 6, 2014 21:09
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Aug 6, 2014 15:10
